The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 56 - Caribbean Amphibian

[00:00:38] Speaker A: Hello, friends. How are you guys doing today? My name is Haya. I play Brianna on the Cracked Eye podcast. And I play Nisidin on Absalom and order. I'm sure global occurrences right now are keeping you a little bit on edge, what with pandemics and elections and violence and the like. So I hope we can take a moment to distract you and make your day a little bit brighter. I don't want to take up too much of your time. I just want to note that this Saturday at 12:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, we will be doing a 24 hours stream on the crackd eye channel on Twitch. The channel is twitch tv correctdye or Twitch tv correctedy. We will be doing a charity stream for extra life, which has raised $70 million for sick and injured kids since its inception in 2008. All funds that we raise in our 24 hours stream will go directly to children hospitals that have been impacted by COVID-19 we hope to see you there. Without further ado, I wish to present you with episode 56, Caribbean Amphibian. [00:02:07] Speaker B: Welcome to the 56th episode of the Cracked Die podcast. [00:02:12] Speaker C: Hooray. We're back. Sean, kick your ass. [00:02:15] Speaker D: The one where we actually all die. [00:02:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Let's see, let's see. [00:02:21] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [00:02:22] Speaker B: Yeah, this is exciting. You guys are about to enter into another combat. Matt was just shot at with some. Well, twin Talon was shot at with some purple indigo eye beams and managed to shake it off. Shake. Shake it off. Yeah. What? [00:02:37] Speaker C: Taylor Swift? This shake. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Well, twin Talon, now that you've been shot at with some indigo eye beams, why don't you take your turn? [00:02:47] Speaker C: Okay. [00:02:48] Speaker B: Remember, you are slowed. One. [00:02:50] Speaker C: I do remember because I was thinking how stupid that is, and I don't like it. Also, twin Talon will be like, he'll shake it off and he'll be like, it's something with your body and mind. I don't know. I'll try to clear the path for Brianna and Pinewatcher to take out the pillar. And he will. Now, instead of going to the one he was going to go to, he's just gonna try to get the one that's in between them and the pillar. So he'll go one, two, three squares. [00:03:18] Speaker B: Three. [00:03:19] Speaker C: Ah, assuming there's no traps. [00:03:21] Speaker B: Yes. You're fine. [00:03:22] Speaker C: Okay. And then he will try to attack it. [00:03:25] Speaker B: Okay. [00:03:26] Speaker C: How's a 32 with their 20 ac? [00:03:30] Speaker B: That'll be a crit. [00:03:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:03:34] Speaker B: There'S a lot of them. Which means you should be fine starting off strong. [00:03:39] Speaker C: So our base damage here is 20. Oh, get it tenacious wound, normal damage. Yeah, only 20 damage crit. The target can't heal this damage until it is rested at least 8 hours. [00:03:56] Speaker B: Um, that's probably not gonna happen. [00:04:00] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm gonna take my crit effect instead, which means they're flat footed. [00:04:04] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:05] Speaker C: Until the end of my next turn. [00:04:07] Speaker B: That's your two actions. [00:04:08] Speaker C: That is. So it's not dead with 20 damage? [00:04:12] Speaker B: No, it is still alive. [00:04:15] Speaker C: Well, you can hope it's okay, honey. [00:04:18] Speaker B: All right, so the gripply archer that is the farthest back from you guys looks and sees this monster of twin talon running out of the forest and it hail of arrows at you. Okay, 29 hits, 20 miss a two. [00:04:38] Speaker C: So that's a critical failure. [00:04:41] Speaker B: Oh, I don't know if I like this range. [00:04:44] Speaker C: Everybody draws a crit fail. [00:04:47] Speaker B: Yeah. This is a ranged phantom wind. You take a minus two circumstance. Penalty. Penalty to ranged attacks until the end of my next turn. So that's gonna take a minus two. Yeah, so you're gonna take seven piercing from the first arrow. [00:05:09] Speaker C: Okay. [00:05:10] Speaker B: And then for its last action, it's going to shoot one more arrow at. [00:05:17] Speaker C: You at a negative 15. [00:05:20] Speaker B: Is that what, the third? [00:05:22] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, please do it. [00:05:26] Speaker B: No, it's a minus. You never go below your. It's a minus ten. [00:05:30] Speaker C: Is that true? [00:05:31] Speaker B: I thought. I thought you never. [00:05:34] Speaker C: Why? Why would you think that? [00:05:37] Speaker B: Because I thought I read that multiple attack penalty, third or subsequent is minus ten or minus eight if it's an agile weapon. [00:05:44] Speaker C: Damn it. All right, fine. [00:05:46] Speaker E: It's still only a plus one, so I think it's literally impossible for him to hit you. [00:05:49] Speaker B: It is unless I roll 20, right? All right, you know what? Nevermind, he's gonna. [00:05:54] Speaker C: Oh, you said you were gonna fire. [00:05:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm gonna fire. [00:05:56] Speaker C: You know, shoot your arrow. Oh, another crit fail. Good for you. [00:05:59] Speaker D: Four. [00:06:03] Speaker B: Stupid frog brained. [00:06:04] Speaker E: I'm not one for math, but three plus eleven minus ten seems bad. [00:06:15] Speaker B: My bow breaks. Okay, well that one is done. [00:06:22] Speaker C: Also, he had negative two to that, so it was actually a two, but. [00:06:26] Speaker B: Yeah, so his bow snaps, so the gripply archer in front of you for a free action will drop its bow. First action, draw a short sword. Third action, swing a short sword at you. Twin Talon 26. [00:06:48] Speaker C: That's second action. Um, not third. So it's free action. First action. Second action. And that does hit for four damage. [00:06:58] Speaker B: Draw. Free draw. Oh yeah. Second action is to hit you for four points of damage. Aha. [00:07:03] Speaker C: All right, I'll take it. [00:07:06] Speaker B: And then swing again for a 22. [00:07:09] Speaker C: That's a miss. [00:07:10] Speaker B: That miss, it's clang off your armor. [00:07:13] Speaker C: Probably not clang, but. [00:07:15] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, you don't have clang, you have like leathers. [00:07:18] Speaker C: Thunk. [00:07:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:07:19] Speaker C: So maybe clang off my sword. [00:07:21] Speaker B: Yes. [00:07:22] Speaker D: Saraya, I'm gonna try something. [00:07:25] Speaker B: Do it. [00:07:26] Speaker D: I don't know how well this is gonna go. [00:07:29] Speaker B: It's gonna be amazing. [00:07:31] Speaker D: But I'm going to spend one action to give Jasper two. [00:07:35] Speaker B: Okay. [00:07:36] Speaker D: I'm going to send him to the top of the dragon pillar. Like, I want him to perch on top of it. [00:07:41] Speaker B: Okay. I'm just listening and. [00:07:44] Speaker D: And scream and like try to draw the frog's attention so they all rush in towards the pillar. [00:07:51] Speaker B: Okay. [00:07:52] Speaker C: I mean, I think they're in range. [00:07:53] Speaker D: But he's just making noise. He's just trying to track their attention. [00:07:58] Speaker B: Okay, and then what else are you gonna do? [00:08:00] Speaker D: I'm going to use a free action to tell everyone to stay away from the pillar just in case they needed a reminding. Basically don't get, don't get within like 15 to 30ft if you can. And she's gonna delay. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Okay, let me know when you would like to use your last action. Is that how delaying works? Now. [00:08:27] Speaker D: The trigger would be crap. She's really far out of range is the problem. But what I. [00:08:34] Speaker B: What. [00:08:35] Speaker D: Okay, so what I'm gonna tell you I want to do is get them all gathered in one area and then use my smoke bomb. [00:08:42] Speaker B: Okay. [00:08:44] Speaker D: So delaying takes two actions right now. [00:08:46] Speaker B: So no delaying. Oh, you do it at the beginning of your turn. So you can't actually delay this turn. [00:08:53] Speaker D: Oh, it would have to be the first thing you do. [00:08:55] Speaker B: Yeah, it looks like. Yeah, trigger is your turn begins. [00:08:58] Speaker D: So at the start of my next. [00:08:59] Speaker B: Turn, you could delay till you want to throw it. [00:09:03] Speaker D: All right, so, yeah, she's just trying to attract their attention and she's trying, Jasper is trying to get them all to like, scurry towards the pillar so she can throw that and have them all like a nice fireball smoke bomb formation. [00:09:13] Speaker A: All right, Brianna, I'm going to blink at Surya's suggestion and say, well, I'm going to do what we did last time and I'm going to risk it. [00:09:24] Speaker B: What, do you want me to roll? No, you're fine. [00:09:27] Speaker A: Okay. She will double move all the way up here. [00:09:32] Speaker B: All right. [00:09:33] Speaker D: Oh, honey, no, no, no. You don't want to be in the way. The smoke bomb. [00:09:38] Speaker B: Welp. Welp. [00:09:40] Speaker D: I mean, that's fine. I mean, if you're gonna knock it over. Yeah, that's the whole point. That's all I can really do here. [00:09:49] Speaker B: All right, give me an athletics roll. [00:09:53] Speaker D: Or is it 21? [00:09:54] Speaker C: Take a roll of four. [00:09:56] Speaker B: Hey, take it in that hero point. Come on. [00:10:00] Speaker A: It's my freaking master. [00:10:02] Speaker C: Come on. [00:10:03] Speaker A: Fucking hell. 25. [00:10:06] Speaker B: So you'll push real hard. You start to feel it move but it does not fall. [00:10:12] Speaker C: All right, progress was made. [00:10:13] Speaker D: Let's see where it goes. [00:10:15] Speaker B: Brianna. Yep. The archer that is directly behind you is going to volley itself arrows at you. [00:10:22] Speaker A: All right, bring it on. [00:10:24] Speaker B: It's our hail of arrows. So the first shot. 23. [00:10:27] Speaker A: Wilmus. [00:10:28] Speaker B: 20 miss. [00:10:30] Speaker A: 19 also miss. [00:10:33] Speaker B: Alright then it's going to reposition itself. Just so you all know, on this map, any of the larger tree areas. I forgot to tell you this beforehand is difficult terrain. Oh, I forgot to tell you that. Don't worry about it right now. But. All right now Saraya, this gripply archer right here is going to hail the arrows at you. 29. That will hit twelve critically miss. Yes. [00:11:03] Speaker C: Nice. [00:11:05] Speaker D: Six double critically miss. Is that a thing? [00:11:09] Speaker B: Yep. Yep. Two separate attacks. So each one critically misses. So you know. [00:11:16] Speaker D: So what was that first damage? [00:11:18] Speaker B: The first one is four points of piercing damage. Okay, so bad alignment. This grippy archer takes a minus two penalty to attacks using the bow for the next turn. And the string snaps. So for its third action, it's going to drop the bow and draw their sword. [00:11:42] Speaker C: We're not gonna have to do a whole lot to make them all break their bows. I feel like they're just gonna do themselves. [00:11:49] Speaker B: Brianna. [00:11:50] Speaker D: Mm hmm. [00:11:50] Speaker B: Ooh, this is a tough one. [00:11:52] Speaker A: Uh huh. [00:11:54] Speaker B: Saraya. [00:11:55] Speaker D: Yeah? [00:11:56] Speaker B: I'm gonna roll a d six. [00:11:58] Speaker D: Okay. [00:11:59] Speaker B: Do you want it to be an even number and it hits Jasper or an odd number and it hits Jasper. [00:12:06] Speaker D: Odd seems odd. A little oddling. [00:12:09] Speaker B: So if I roll an odd, it's going to hit Jasper. [00:12:13] Speaker D: Yes. [00:12:14] Speaker B: Okay. [00:12:16] Speaker D: What'd your roll? [00:12:18] Speaker B: A three. [00:12:19] Speaker D: What's the attack? [00:12:20] Speaker B: So it the I beam shoots at Jasper. [00:12:26] Speaker D: So just shoots straight up? [00:12:28] Speaker B: Yep. [00:12:28] Speaker D: He has saves. [00:12:29] Speaker B: I know. [00:12:30] Speaker C: Well, it has to hit him 1st. [00:12:32] Speaker B: 1St thing. Does a 27 hit him? [00:12:34] Speaker D: Yes, a 27 will hit him. [00:12:36] Speaker B: Please make a fortitude save for Jasper. [00:12:40] Speaker D: Okay. He's got a plus eleven. [00:12:42] Speaker B: Okay. That's better than I thought it was. [00:12:44] Speaker D: Yeah, that's the. The fun thing about them is that they actually level with you now. Oh, but he rolled a three. My poor baby. [00:12:50] Speaker B: Would you like to use a hero point for failing? [00:12:54] Speaker D: But I get to see what happens to him first. [00:12:56] Speaker B: Nope, I only. [00:12:57] Speaker D: Oh, I have two. All right, I'll use one. [00:13:00] Speaker B: Okay. [00:13:01] Speaker D: Because I love my little baby. [00:13:03] Speaker B: You roll the three. How could you roll worse? [00:13:08] Speaker D: Why would you say that to me? Why would you? Okay, 27, roll the 60k. [00:13:13] Speaker A: There we go. [00:13:14] Speaker B: So Jasper is slowed one for one round. [00:13:18] Speaker D: Oh, no. He gets one action instead of two. The only thing he's gonna be doing is continue calling, so. [00:13:23] Speaker B: Okay. All right. [00:13:27] Speaker D: You're welcome. Brianna. [00:13:28] Speaker B: This archer right here, that is kind of between twin talent or kind of between Saraya and Briena is going to shoot at Saraya with a hail of arrows because it's done me so well. 25. [00:13:53] Speaker D: That will hit. [00:13:57] Speaker B: Twelve critically miss. Seven critically miss. So take seven points of piercing. [00:14:12] Speaker D: You get two more crit cards. [00:14:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm looking at them. [00:14:16] Speaker E: I really feel like they're loading three arrows at a time and, like, one goes normal and the other two just fire in random. [00:14:24] Speaker D: They hope for the best. [00:14:26] Speaker B: Okay, so the first one is I'm clumsy one. The second one is I can't make ranged attacks. So for third action, it will be drawing its sword and dropping the bow. [00:14:41] Speaker E: I don't think this is, like, the crack team defending this. [00:14:46] Speaker C: The ones that got entrapped by its I beams, like, buggered off. These guys are too dumb to leave. [00:14:53] Speaker B: Okay, now. Now hopefully I can do something, because from out of the trees to your north east, another gripley appears. But this one looks different. [00:15:17] Speaker F: Is he an ally? [00:15:19] Speaker C: Where is it? Oh, geez. Okay, he's got. Well, I was like, he's got red eyes, but I'm pretty sure they all have red eyes. [00:15:33] Speaker D: He's got a very muted color palette. I'm gonna say he's your counterpart. [00:15:36] Speaker C: Twin town, maybe rogue fight. [00:15:41] Speaker E: He's at a different. A different level of magnification. That must mean something. [00:15:48] Speaker C: He's probably got a name. [00:15:49] Speaker E: Jim. [00:15:51] Speaker B: All right, you see that? It wiggles its frog like fingers and sprouting up from the trees around you, you see. [00:16:13] Speaker D: Is it a fruit or a frog? [00:16:15] Speaker C: Chromancer or fringer. [00:16:20] Speaker B: Nerds? I'm so mad at that. No, you're not. You see a plant like creature sprout up next to it, and it. You see that it has purple plums hanging off of it. Where? [00:16:44] Speaker C: Where are its plums, Sean? And how many does it have? [00:16:52] Speaker B: It has six plums hanging from its head. [00:16:56] Speaker C: Okay. Always good to know. [00:16:59] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. And that was its turn. Finally, the last griffly Archer fires a single shot at Quintalen. Seeing how terrible his friends have done, 29 will hit for nine points of damage. Piercing damage. Okay, it looks very excited because it actually landed a hit so it's gonna shoot again, natural 20. [00:17:31] Speaker C: So 26 that will hit. [00:17:35] Speaker B: Does deadly get doubled on a crit? [00:17:37] Speaker C: No, deadly doesn't exist except on a crit. So you just add one d ten to the multiplied times two damage. [00:17:44] Speaker B: So you're going to take eight. And three is eleven points of damage. This gripply is like, oh my goodness, I am the best in my group here. Firing a third time because it's getting cocky. [00:18:00] Speaker C: 19 is a miss, not a crit. [00:18:05] Speaker B: Alright, good job, Grippli. [00:18:07] Speaker A: Archer two, someone's getting promoted. [00:18:10] Speaker B: If they survive, he should leave Pondwatcher. [00:18:17] Speaker E: Okay, so a lot has happened since pond watchers been standing with his mouth open, staring immediately. He's gonna, since he, we were traveling, he has his longbow out and he's gonna yell, twin Talon, let me free you up. And he's gonna fire at the one twin Talon is engaged with because it's already been wounded severely. Yeah, a 33 that will critically hit. [00:18:44] Speaker B: Yes. This guy's been hit, hit twice, and they've both been crits. Oh geez. [00:18:54] Speaker E: This is piercing punctured lung. The target, the target is suffocating. But he does take double damage, does 24 piercing damage. [00:19:06] Speaker B: Well, it can't suffocate when you kill it. Oh. [00:19:09] Speaker C: Drowns on its own blood. [00:19:12] Speaker B: Lord. [00:19:13] Speaker E: All right, so he, he fires one arrow, it murders the frog boy. And then he says, twin, make your move. And then he's going to run straight into druid town. [00:19:24] Speaker B: Okay. [00:19:24] Speaker C: Yes. [00:19:25] Speaker E: After he figures out how to use roll 20. Okay, so he moves to here, he drops his leg longbow gently on the bank of the sand here. And we'll draw his halberd. [00:19:39] Speaker B: Okay. [00:19:39] Speaker E: And that is his turn. [00:19:41] Speaker C: Perfect. [00:19:41] Speaker B: All right. Timid. [00:19:43] Speaker F: Timid wants to kind of get in on the action too. He spent most of last battle just patching things up. So he's gonna do something that he likes to do. [00:19:52] Speaker B: He is. [00:19:54] Speaker F: What was that? [00:19:55] Speaker C: Heal. Is that what you want to do? [00:19:56] Speaker F: No, he doesn't like to heal. [00:19:58] Speaker C: Oh, okay, my bad. [00:20:00] Speaker B: Whoops. He chose the wrong question. [00:20:06] Speaker F: And so he's going to cast the one spell that he is only hit once. Who, listen carefully, know that it is searing light. So he, I'm not even going to talk about it yet, in case it, see, as usual, it didn't actually. So he was shooting it at the, um, the druid or ranger or the Indiana Jones frog guy. [00:20:32] Speaker C: Mm hmm. [00:20:34] Speaker F: And he's gonna use a hero point because he only rolled an 18. Yeah. He's absolutely certain that that's not gonna work. So yes, that five. [00:20:46] Speaker B: You know, there's. You have to roll higher. [00:20:49] Speaker E: Like there's no way. [00:20:51] Speaker B: There's no way you can roll lower than a five. [00:20:54] Speaker F: All right, I'm gonna pause for like 3 seconds, compose myself, cutting out his silence. [00:21:02] Speaker D: Wiping off. Well, he's wiping off the bad juju from all that jinxing. [00:21:05] Speaker F: Three, two, one. [00:21:09] Speaker B: Can't roll lower than a five. I hit it twice, but the first. [00:21:15] Speaker F: One'S a natural one. [00:21:17] Speaker E: Oh, no. [00:21:19] Speaker B: Yes. That's a critical miss. [00:21:23] Speaker E: I'm sorry. [00:21:27] Speaker F: I don't know what to say. [00:21:28] Speaker D: I'm way too excited about that. [00:21:30] Speaker E: You inherited the bad luck once we moved online, you and Saraya. Although Saraya always had bad luck. [00:21:37] Speaker B: I did. I always had bad luck. [00:21:40] Speaker D: I do one thing and I do it. Okay. [00:21:44] Speaker F: I've never been so sad before. [00:21:50] Speaker B: Oh, no, it's just me. [00:21:51] Speaker F: I'm the only laughed is me. And I am timid. Okay, I'm a good actor. [00:21:58] Speaker B: There you go. I gave you the critical miscarriage. [00:22:02] Speaker F: Oh, sorry, I was busy. Too busy trying to stop from having to do that. A magical SmackDown. You automatically fail. But do not critically fail your next saving throw. [00:22:12] Speaker B: What? [00:22:13] Speaker C: Oh, don't get hit by the thing. [00:22:15] Speaker F: Yeah, I'm going to die. [00:22:17] Speaker B: Oh, that's a bad one. [00:22:23] Speaker F: I'm. I'm just going to remove that spell. [00:22:25] Speaker E: It's aiming. Reticle is now moving over you. [00:22:29] Speaker F: I'm never using that spell again. Fuck it. I'm never using it. It's never using any spell again. That's it. I'm going to be a. What's, what's a character where I can do damage without ever rolling. [00:22:42] Speaker B: The GM? [00:22:43] Speaker F: All right, I'm the GM now. [00:22:46] Speaker D: No, no. The answer is become a wizard or a sorcerer and only ever use magic missile. [00:22:51] Speaker B: Oh, that's true. All right, so another one of these zoomed in gripplies shows up and you see it wiggle its froggy fingers as well. You know, see a bush appear. [00:23:09] Speaker D: So we have plums and bushes. [00:23:11] Speaker B: Yep, that's its turn. So, twin Talon, you have been freed up. [00:23:16] Speaker C: All right, he'll kind of shake off the slowness because I think that was only for one turn, right? [00:23:20] Speaker B: Yes, it was. [00:23:21] Speaker C: Then he will move up to the grippli and he will attempt to stab it 18 with the shot. I will use a hero point. [00:23:33] Speaker B: Okay. [00:23:34] Speaker C: Because I rolled a natural two. What did tempt say? It can't get worse? [00:23:41] Speaker F: No, I think I did not say. [00:23:43] Speaker B: Oh, no, I said that to timid. There's no possible way you could roll lower than a two. Like, no possible way. [00:23:50] Speaker E: It's happened multiple times this episode. [00:23:52] Speaker C: Like, here we go. [00:23:54] Speaker D: Sean just likes cursing people, which is unfair. [00:23:58] Speaker C: How's a 30 instead? [00:23:59] Speaker B: That's a crit. Get it? Oh, um, actually, no, that is not a crit. That is a hit, though. [00:24:05] Speaker C: Is he flat footed? Because he is flat footed. [00:24:07] Speaker B: Oh, okay, then that is a crit. [00:24:09] Speaker C: Okay. This pond watchers here. So he's flat footed. To me, Haza. [00:24:17] Speaker E: Reach is great. [00:24:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:24:19] Speaker C: Want to say something? So there's this site called rpg bot, where you can go on and he'll tell you every class and what they think about it and all the abilities for every level, and you can look, and it's. It's typically pretty good advice, but I took the feat. Gang up at six level, which RPG pot said is a crutch, and you shouldn't take it. But in a party with a barbarian and a champion, there has never been a feat that I've enjoyed more than a feat. That gives me always sneak attack all the time. [00:24:49] Speaker B: That's. [00:24:49] Speaker D: That's pretty great. That's cute, because there's actually a lot of things you have to hit to get snake attack in this. [00:24:56] Speaker C: Boom. Okay, so my crit this time is called clean through triple damage. [00:25:02] Speaker B: Oh, jeez. [00:25:04] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:25:04] Speaker C: So I did not roll very well on my sneak attack. It is only 16, but still triple damage makes it, what, 48? [00:25:15] Speaker B: It does make it 48. It is still there. [00:25:20] Speaker D: What? [00:25:21] Speaker C: Well, that was my first action, so I'm gonna attack it. I'm sorry, my first attack, second action, so I'm gonna attack it again. Okay, 25, I think should hit. That will hit for 21 damage. 15 regular, and six sneak. [00:25:35] Speaker B: It is still there. It does not look good, though. Just. Just so aware. [00:25:41] Speaker C: All right, that's my turn. [00:25:42] Speaker E: That is amazing, though. The sneak attack. Every attack. That's incredible. [00:25:46] Speaker C: Yeah. You have to understand, like, a rune that gives you one d six is a fourth level rune, and I think the one that gives you an additional two d six is double digits somewhere in the teens. So at 6th level, just getting an extra two d six, every attack is enormous. [00:26:03] Speaker B: All right, so the grippli that rained arrows at you and just failed miserably, runs up to twin Talon for its first move, swings its short sword at him for its second move. Does a 14 hit you? [00:26:25] Speaker C: That is a critical failure. [00:26:32] Speaker B: Oh, geez. Just so you know, I'm at ten critical miscarriages cards. [00:26:39] Speaker C: If you come with the king, son, you best not miss. [00:26:45] Speaker B: If you're using a bludgeoning weapon. I am not well. [00:26:49] Speaker E: There you go. [00:26:51] Speaker C: Nothing happens. [00:26:52] Speaker B: Then it's going to swing its sword because it is so angry at you a second time. Again. 14 because it is minus two for this turn. [00:27:03] Speaker C: That's the exact same roll and it's a critical failure. [00:27:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've drawn my 11th card. Being a GM is fun. [00:27:13] Speaker E: Okay. [00:27:15] Speaker B: To be fair, at least I'm getting to go through all the cards. Spinning swing you are sickened to. Oh geez. So this grip. Lee is so mad at twin Talon he puts all of his power behind this swing. And twin talon kind of like takes a half a step back and he just spins in a circle till he is dizzy. Saraya. [00:27:43] Speaker D: Alright, so my plan didn't work, but I can still have something fun happen. [00:27:47] Speaker B: Uh oh. [00:27:48] Speaker D: So perfect. [00:27:49] Speaker B: Yes. [00:27:49] Speaker D: So I'm going to still gonna throw my poison smoke bomb. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Okay. [00:27:53] Speaker D: But instead of where I was aiming, I'm gonna throw it here. [00:27:55] Speaker B: Okay. [00:27:56] Speaker D: So it will hit these guys. [00:27:59] Speaker B: Okay. [00:28:00] Speaker D: We'll hit all of them. It's a ten foot radius. [00:28:03] Speaker B: Okay. [00:28:04] Speaker D: We built this together. This was my special thing. [00:28:06] Speaker B: I know, I'm aware. [00:28:09] Speaker D: 18 to hit the square. [00:28:11] Speaker B: That'll hit the square and ten foot. [00:28:14] Speaker D: 10Ft of smoke bursts out. [00:28:16] Speaker B: 10Ft of smoke bursts out. [00:28:21] Speaker D: So for the first round they all have to make Fort saves. 23 is the class DC. Okay, so it looks like two succeeded in one failed. [00:28:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:38] Speaker D: So that's nine poison to each and the one is second. And it hits the weird monster. [00:28:46] Speaker B: Yes. That also saved. All right, so that was one action. Yep. [00:28:54] Speaker D: So for two she's gonna throw. Let's, let's get some fire going. Why not? [00:29:03] Speaker B: Where are you aiming? [00:29:04] Speaker D: I'm gonna aim it at this thing. Cause it's closest to me. [00:29:07] Speaker B: The plant thing. [00:29:09] Speaker D: Tentacle monster. The Bush tentacle monster. [00:29:12] Speaker B: The Bush tentacle monster. You rolled a 20. That will hit it. [00:29:18] Speaker D: Sweet. So that is twelve fire damage, two persistent damage and two splash damage. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Okay. [00:29:24] Speaker D: And then she's gonna skitter backwards a little bit because. [00:29:28] Speaker B: Sorry. [00:29:29] Speaker D: It does not like being close to things. [00:29:32] Speaker A: Brianna Briana's gonna look around at her friends and see that things are kind of busy over that way. But she has this pillar to deal with and she's determined to freaking knock it over since it seemed to really, really help them last time. So I'm going to give you another athletics check as she leans heavily into it with all her might. How's a freaking 30? [00:30:00] Speaker B: Nice success that uh, that knocks it over. Perfect. [00:30:08] Speaker D: Jasper lies up with a squirrel walk and lands on your head. [00:30:11] Speaker B: Perfect. [00:30:12] Speaker A: She will pet him and then realize how. How very soft and leathery he is and kind of like, shiver a moment. [00:30:20] Speaker D: He feels like suede. [00:30:22] Speaker A: Okay. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Okay. [00:30:23] Speaker A: So like a hairless cat, if anything. [00:30:26] Speaker D: Yes. Very, very much like a sphinx cat. Love it. [00:30:30] Speaker A: She will then look around, see that the boys are all busy with two of them, whereas Saraya kind of has. [00:30:38] Speaker B: The rest of these things. [00:30:40] Speaker A: She can see the furthest one. [00:30:44] Speaker D: I don't think the smoke actually conceals them at all. You just don't want to go in it or you'll have to take the damage. [00:30:50] Speaker A: Okay, so Brianna is going to hop off and move on the sandy part over here. [00:30:58] Speaker B: All right. [00:30:59] Speaker A: And swing at the closest frogperson. [00:31:04] Speaker B: All right. Dwing away. [00:31:06] Speaker A: 28. [00:31:07] Speaker B: That will hit perfect. [00:31:12] Speaker A: Take 16, damage. [00:31:14] Speaker C: Oof. [00:31:15] Speaker B: Palpable hit. [00:31:16] Speaker D: Mm hmm. [00:31:17] Speaker A: And that will be my turn. [00:31:19] Speaker B: All right. All of the frogs are going to go down, and it's going to be exciting and terrifying when we continue next week. Dang it. Thank you for listening to the Crack Die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape because Epic Games deserve Epic music. Please visit [email protected]. Pathfinder second edition, Age of Ashes, adventure path are all copyright of Paizo Publishing. Please visit [email protected]. For more information.