[00:00:39] Speaker A: Welcome to the 115th episode of the Crack Die podcast.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: 150.
[00:00:46] Speaker C: Here we go.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: So how is everybody doing? I hope everyone has had a wonderful time getting up to. What month is this? What month are we in? I'm not even sure anymore.
[00:00:59] Speaker C: We are recording in January.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: Mm hmm.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: We are. We are recording in January, but this isn't gonna come out till.
[00:01:05] Speaker D: I don't even know anymore.
[00:01:07] Speaker A: February, February, or March.
[00:01:10] Speaker C: It's. I don't think we have that many episodes saved up, Shawn.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Well, we hope everyone's had an uneventful 2022 up to this point. How's that sound?
[00:01:19] Speaker B: Knock on wood.
[00:01:20] Speaker E: Good to me.
[00:01:21] Speaker F: And just in case, we hope you're enjoying your summer.
[00:01:23] Speaker C: Yeah, who knows? Oh, that's right. Because people got. No. Because people in the southern hemisphere are warm now, and they keep telling us.
[00:01:31] Speaker D: On our discord, is that what goblin time is? It's just the southern hemisphere.
[00:01:35] Speaker A: Yes. Goblin time is for Australia.
[00:01:37] Speaker C: Oh, boy.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: Did you send your hate mail to.
[00:01:41] Speaker C: Sean at thecracked eyepodcast.com?
[00:01:45] Speaker A: I know what I said.
So it's been a little bit. So let's recap what's happened. In the beginning. The Starstone island isles were raised up. Okay, I'm not going to start all the way back there.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: I was going to say, like. Wait a second.
[00:02:03] Speaker D: What?
[00:02:04] Speaker A: So the beginning of this whole thing, there was a group of people. They decided to be hired out as heroes. Found a whole deal with some slavers they've traveled and some elf gates called Elsetta's ring. That's right. I said it right. Finally.
[00:02:23] Speaker B: Hell yeah.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: Only took three books and a 115 episodes. From there, they traveled to the Moangi expanse, did some hexploration, which was their favorite thing in the world, and they can't wait to go back. They continued to find out about these scarlet triad people, as well as exploring some more of the ring, the the gates. Elven gates, as well as finding out that there was a group worshipping dahak, which is the evil dragon goddess Saraya. Our resident alchemist continuously has dreams of everything catching on fire and hawk escaping to bring about the end of the world, the end times, if you will. So in the Mwangi expanse, the the cult there was trying to bring De Hawk back with dragon pillars. Our heroes here thwarted them. Along the way, they've lost three members of the group. However, they have picked up a goblin who has no idea how he got there and has joined them on their quest. From there, they went back to Breech Hill, which is their home base, through the elven gates again and jumped through a third one and decided to follow the trail. Found some more trappings of the scarlet triad. Found a tied up half orc sailor who decided to join the group as well. They saved a small town, and now they're in Kentargo. They have followed the trail of the Scarlet Triad, which is the same slavers that have been working with the cult in the Mwangi expanse. They managed to send some warning to the Bellflower network, which is an anti slavery group, to warn different areas.
A safe house, a messaging center, and a ally of the Bellflower network sent some warnings to them. They have come to the long roads coffee house, which is where we are now. When they entered, they saw two bodies on the floor of scarlet triad members and were greeted with ghostly images of the town's former ruler, Brasali. And I think I glossed over this when we were in this portion of the map, but the ghost images that you saw, the floating demons that kind of looked like, uh, dementors, but with world of Warcraft, pauldrons, as it was called, was the tyrannical inquisitor, Brasali Thrune. And they recently held the city of contago in their brutal grip. So that's why a bunch of people were scared, because they were seeing images of the former leader of the. Of the town, and he was not a good guy. If you would like more information about him, please see the hell's rebel adventure path.
[00:05:33] Speaker C: Okay, here we go.
[00:05:35] Speaker A: All right, so now we're going to stop this. We're going to go back and play first edition. We're going to play through all of Hell's rebels, and then we're going to come back to this.
[00:05:41] Speaker C: Yeah, this is one of those things that, like, when we were doing it, I didn't remember who that was. Like, he had a name, and I was like, that's interesting, I guess, but, like, I don't. But then when I was listening to episodes, you mentioned it, like, previously, you mentioned it, and you might have mentioned it, like, when the bells happened originally, I don't remember. But there was some point since we got to contago that it came up, and I was like, oh, that's who that guy was. But it was one of those things that time passes and you just kind of forget details like that.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: So real, real quick. Brasali Thrun was once a loyal servant of the Church of Asmodeus in the nation of Cheliax, but over time, grew dissatisfied with what he perceived as weakness in both organizations. So he thought Cheliax was too light of a touch, and the church of Asmodeus, the devil himself, was too light of a touch.
[00:06:35] Speaker C: Interesting.
[00:06:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:37] Speaker C: Did he have a problem with, like, their lawfulness, or was he just. I don't really get it.
[00:06:42] Speaker A: Yeah. He originally planned to take control of the church and nation to steer cheliaks towards his greater, his vision of greatness, but eventually found out that he needed to abandon his ties with his family and the resources and power that would come with that if he were to climb further in the church. Brezzali then moved into a more ambitious plan to transform himself into a genus loci and thus become Cheliax itself. With such transformation, Brezzali would become the eternal master of all of Celex's inhabitants, including its rulers. This plan went mostly unnoticed. Those who did eventually became Brazali's servants or got silenced by him. He then infiltrated the sacred order of the archivists. So, yeah, he's overall not a great person.
[00:07:31] Speaker C: Fair.
[00:07:32] Speaker A: He was in, he was in charge of the house of Thrune, which, if you remember, the trading company that you initially came in to investigate had a bunch of deals with house through right.
[00:07:46] Speaker C: Before they got kicked out of the city, which is why the lady with who used to have a fancy cloak made a deal with the scarlet triad to make some money.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: That is correct. So this has been your history moment with the crack die podcast.
Yeah. So after you defeated the remnants of Bresali, defeated some haunts, you guys decided to look around, went upstairs, fought two tiger people, and then Saraya went to the south, opened up, saw a bunch of beds and a treasure chest and looked, started looking around, looking under the bed, and she found a frightened. Looks like a child, but upon closer look is just a frightened halfling. And that is where we will pick up today. So we are in, I'm going to try to be better about, like, what modes we're in. So we're in exploration mode. Right now. I'm just going to go down the list of people on my screen, starting with Christine, and find out what everyone's doing, and then we're going to go through and resolve each of those things. Christine, what is Saraya doing?
[00:09:01] Speaker D: I was searching the room, but now that I seem to have found someone, I will try to speak with them.
[00:09:05] Speaker A: Okay. Hiya. What is Briana doing?
[00:09:08] Speaker B: How is everybody looking? Because didn't we recently come away from an. Ouch. Yes.
[00:09:15] Speaker A: Uh, yes. So everyone is looking fairly healthy. Twin talon is a little beaten up. Brianna is a little beaten up. Saraya is fairly beaten up. Ooh, is fine. A couple. A little scratch here and there.
[00:09:32] Speaker E: Just a flesh wound.
[00:09:33] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: You said Saraya is beaten up, correct?
[00:09:36] Speaker A: Yes, but she is in a different, different room for now.
[00:09:40] Speaker B: Well, from your description, it sounded like twin Talon might need some healing. So Brianna will go ahead and do that over that way with him. Yep, I can speak.
[00:09:51] Speaker A: Okay, perfect.
Then next up is Heidi. What is oo doing?
[00:09:59] Speaker E: Is a curious character. And there is a door to the west and she's gonna go ahead and knock on it.
[00:10:06] Speaker A: Okay, come and knock on our door.
[00:10:10] Speaker C: Can you remind us what is the aura emanating from? Ooh.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:10:14] Speaker A: Yes. The aura emanating from. Ooh. Is one of her abilities.
[00:10:21] Speaker E: Martial dedication. Ten foot aura to rent, plus one to saves against.
[00:10:26] Speaker A: Okay, there we go. So, yes, it is a good aura.
Okay, next up is Matt.
[00:10:34] Speaker C: I didn't think it was a bad aura. It's like a fucking hypnotizing spiral and I'm trying to figure out what it is.
[00:10:40] Speaker E: I was literally just about to say it's my stink aura. It's fine.
Took the words out of a mouth.
[00:10:46] Speaker D: Shawn.
[00:10:47] Speaker A: Twin Talon, what are you doing? I would recommend escaping from the stink line.
[00:10:53] Speaker C: I don't think Twintellon can do anything other than be healed, so that's what he will do.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: Okay, and Rob, what is knife sword doing?
[00:11:01] Speaker F: It looks like he's sleeping on the couch.
[00:11:03] Speaker A: Is that what he's doing? Okay, just to remind you guys that this room has, well, two overstuffed sofas facing each other. While a round table is, well, a round table with a few stools nearby sit opposite. The spicy scent of coffee and tea lingers in the air. And you do see that there are. There is some tea steeping on this table here, right?
[00:11:32] Speaker C: The tiger people, the. The rakshasas were drinking it when we got here.
[00:11:35] Speaker A: Yes, yes.
[00:11:37] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: Saraya, what do you say to this halfling frightened halfling?
[00:11:45] Speaker D: Hello, my name is Saraya. We were sent here by the Bellflower network to hopefully ensure the safety of everyone here. Are you part of that network?
[00:11:59] Speaker A: I, um.
Yes. They. They took her. They took Laria.
Please, you need to find her and save her.
[00:12:09] Speaker D: Okay?
[00:12:10] Speaker A: Come.
[00:12:10] Speaker D: Come with me. I have others with me. We can talk to them about this as well.
Is this your daughter? A friend? A family member?
[00:12:21] Speaker A: She's the one who runs this place. And you see her, just. Tears are streaming down her face, smearing her mascara.
[00:12:29] Speaker D: I'm beckoning her to come up from under the bed. It's okay. It's okay. Come, come.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: She's kind of. She's kind of like. You see her visibly shaking.
It's a combination of fear, upset, like, just. Just not great for her. She looks kind of messed up. Like, just in shock is kind of what?
[00:12:54] Speaker D: I'll dig through in my pockets and offer her a handkerchief.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:13:00] Speaker D: Okay. What was her name again? Something with an L. Learia.
[00:13:05] Speaker A: L A R I a. Laria.
[00:13:08] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:13:09] Speaker A: Laria.
[00:13:10] Speaker D: Laria. Okay. Yes. We'll find her. Do you want to meet the rest of my friends that are going to help me? You can come out. It's safe now that the Rakshasas are gone.
[00:13:19] Speaker A: Is he still here?
[00:13:21] Speaker D: Who's he?
[00:13:23] Speaker A: Brezali?
[00:13:23] Speaker B: No.
[00:13:24] Speaker A: And his ghost?
[00:13:25] Speaker D: He's gone. He's gone.
You're safe.
[00:13:30] Speaker A: Okay. And you kind of see her visibly, like, take. Try and catch her breath and take, like, calming, like. Okay.
All right, so while you're talking and trying to coax her out, Brianna, can you please give me a medicine roll?
[00:13:49] Speaker B: Certainly. If I rolled a 32.
[00:13:53] Speaker A: So that is a, I believe, a critical.
[00:13:57] Speaker C: Mm hmm.
[00:13:57] Speaker B: Correct. Because I'm rolling out the higher difficulty, which is a 20, so it is a critical 60.
[00:14:03] Speaker A: 20.
[00:14:04] Speaker B: Mm hmm.
[00:14:05] Speaker A: You're an expert. Yeah. 20. So that is a critical success. So go ahead and give me four d, eight.
[00:14:12] Speaker B: Forty eight.
[00:14:13] Speaker A: I had to look at two.
[00:14:14] Speaker B: Was it.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: No, no, it's just four d, eight.
[00:14:17] Speaker C: Wait, is it. I thought it was plus ten.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: Oh, it is. I'm sorry. Well, then gain by ten. So four d, eight plus ten.
[00:14:26] Speaker B: So a 29 plus ten would be 39.
[00:14:28] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: Is blood spreading out of your eyeballs?
[00:14:31] Speaker A: Yes. I was gonna say, do you want to reroll that? But you rolled three, eight and a five, so I'm gonna guess no.
[00:14:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I think. I think we're good.
[00:14:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: How are you feeling?
[00:14:42] Speaker C: When he gives me an extra ten, I'll be good.
[00:14:45] Speaker A: Yep. You blood. Two points of blood squirt out your eyes.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: Perfect.
[00:14:50] Speaker C: One for each eye.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: Ah.
[00:14:51] Speaker D: Blink.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: Ooh. You knock on the door and no one answers.
[00:15:00] Speaker E: I open the door.
[00:15:01] Speaker A: Okay, you open the door. Boop.
[00:15:04] Speaker E: All right, I guess I'll walk inside.
[00:15:06] Speaker A: This bunk room contains six human sized beds. It appears to have been unoccupied for several days. All the beds are made.
You do see a little bit of dust settling, but it just seems empty. You do see a door to the.
[00:15:20] Speaker E: South, and I'm gonna suspect that it is connected to the south rooms that are down there, so I will not venture that way.
I'm gonna go back into the main room and just let them know. Okay? There's nothing in that room.
[00:15:40] Speaker C: Okay? Nothing at all.
[00:15:41] Speaker E: It's just empty room, some beds, there's some furniture, but ain't nobody been there for a while.
[00:15:48] Speaker C: Oh, okay.
[00:15:49] Speaker E: I mean, you probably could take a peek under some of those beds and see if there's anything. But. Maybe I should have done that. Maybe I should have done that.
[00:15:58] Speaker A: Well, as you come back into the room, Saraya and this halfling come out with Saraya. Kind of supporting the halfling as best as a tall elf can. Like, support a small halfling without just.
[00:16:14] Speaker D: Carrying her like a child.
[00:16:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:18] Speaker D: Well, my friend, I don't think you did share your name. You just told me to find Laria.
[00:16:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, yes. My name is Alejandra.
[00:16:26] Speaker D: And you worked here. Apparently, the proprietress of this establishment has been taken.
[00:16:31] Speaker A: Yes.
So I was upstairs alone when I heard fighting break out downstairs.
I then ran and hid. And I'm so ashamed of having hidden.
When the fighting was over, it was obvious that my friends had been lost. Several employees and Laria herself had been chained up by a group of strangers and fit them with gags and hoods and bundled them into large sacks for transport. And then that horrifying image of Birzali showed up and some monsters with tiger heads, and she just burst into tears.
[00:17:19] Speaker D: So I think we should maybe gather some information about this and find someone who can take care of her.
[00:17:26] Speaker B: Yeah, sounds great.
[00:17:28] Speaker A: I did hear them say they were making jokes about how good I. They were glad that they were only grabbing halflings because we're so portable.
[00:17:40] Speaker B: Sorry, I shouldn't laugh. It's really cute. I know.
[00:17:45] Speaker A: And how much easier would be to take us back to the hall at Tessen Tower and up all those steps.
[00:17:54] Speaker D: Okay, that's good. That's somewhere for us to go. Now, see, if you hadn't hidden, we wouldn't know any of this. So don't be. Don't feel bad about that. You've helped us a lot to help your friends.
[00:18:04] Speaker E: Did you happen to know the tigers that were up here?
[00:18:09] Speaker A: No. No. They came in with the fighting and they killed some people and then started stealing our tea.
[00:18:21] Speaker E: Just hang out and drink a tea.
[00:18:23] Speaker C: One of those things seems less severe than the others. I'll just leave.
[00:18:27] Speaker D: Yeah.
Can I use my tea, lore, to make her a calming cup of tea?
[00:18:33] Speaker A: You can give me a tea, lore roll.
[00:18:37] Speaker D: I have a plus 17.
[00:18:40] Speaker A: And while Saraya is concocting some calming tea, maybe 31.
What would you like to do, Haya, as we all know, good tea takes time.
[00:18:51] Speaker B: So does good healing. So Brianna's gonna scan Saraya and see that she's also beat up and kind of follow along, making sure her party mates are all good.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. Heidi, what would you like to do?
[00:19:04] Speaker E: Well, hindsight is 2020, so I guess I'll try myself back into that room and look under the beds.
[00:19:14] Speaker A: While you're in there, give me a perception roll, please.
And Matt, what would twin Talon like to do?
[00:19:23] Speaker C: Well, now that I am all healed up, there is a door to the north as well.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: There is a door to the north also.
[00:19:31] Speaker C: I'm sorry if I missed it. Did she say that they saw the warning with the kites or did she not mention that?
[00:19:36] Speaker A: She did not mention that.
[00:19:38] Speaker C: So twin Talon will kind of open that door to the north and poke his head and look around real quick, but he'll mention. So did you have any warning that there was going to be an attack or was it a complete surprise?
[00:19:51] Speaker A: We, we, we saw the warning, but that as, as soon as we saw it, it was a little too late as they had busted in at the same time.
[00:20:01] Speaker C: Oh, okay.
[00:20:02] Speaker A: But, but we were able to, to get a few people out and I was able to get upstairs and hide. Although I should have been down there.
[00:20:14] Speaker C: Speaking of down there, is there a reason why you didn't escape through the tunnel in the pantry?
[00:20:19] Speaker A: We don't know where that goes.
[00:20:22] Speaker C: Oh, interesting. Matt forgets. I thought we thought it was a bellflower network thing, but did we think it was something else?
[00:20:30] Speaker A: Right? No, you did think it was a bellflower network tunnel. She either might not be high enough in the bellflower network to know exactly what it is. Because remember, each member only knows a little bit. So that even if they are caught, they don't know.
[00:20:47] Speaker C: Okay, exactly.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: You can safely assume that had the owner of the establishment not been grabbed right away, they probably would have escaped through that.
[00:21:00] Speaker C: I mean, I can assume whatever I want, but. Okay.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: Right, right.
[00:21:03] Speaker C: So what do I see when I look up through the door in the north here?
[00:21:06] Speaker A: All of the furniture in this large chamber is sized for a halfling, except for the oversized bed and a large claw foot bathtub peeking out from behind a privacy screen. A door exits to the south and two windows which, with checkered curtains, are opened to allow a fresh breeze.
[00:21:26] Speaker C: All right. And the door to the south is the one I came through.
[00:21:28] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:21:29] Speaker C: Okay. Okay. And if I don't see anybody hiding, I guess I'll look under the bed just to make sure there isn't a tiger under there.
[00:21:35] Speaker A: But other than that, no, no, it looks pretty. I mean, it looks well used, but it doesn't look like anyone's in here. The bathtub is dry. You can safely guess that this is the owner's room. Okay, sorrel, what did you roll? Oh, sorry. I am so sorry. Rob, what is knife sword doing on the.
[00:21:55] Speaker F: Well, he's not getting much of a good nap because somebody keeps bawling and wailing behind him.
[00:22:04] Speaker A: So knife sword. Knife sword's the sensitive type. I see.
[00:22:08] Speaker F: He's gonna get up and, I don't know, go see what ten foot's doing up there.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Okay. As you walk in, you see exactly what I described, including a large bathtub, a bed with very comfy pillows, and two large overstuffed couches.
[00:22:27] Speaker F: Dibs on the bed.
[00:22:28] Speaker A: As you flop onto the bed. It is probably the most comfortable bed you've ever slept on.
[00:22:34] Speaker F: Nice.
Take the other pillow and make it so I can't, like, covers my ears. Try to get some sleep.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: Okay. All right. Saraya, what did you get for your tea? Lore?
[00:22:47] Speaker D: 31.
[00:22:48] Speaker A: 31. All right, so you're able to take the teas up here, and you kind of make a, like a oolong jasmine chamomile. And it.
One teaspoon of honey mixed in, and you give it to Alejandra, and she drinks it. And you see her kind of starting to calm down a little bit. Brianna, what did you roll for your medicine? Check.
[00:23:15] Speaker B: I rolled a 25, which succeeds the 20 DC, and then Saraya would get 23 points of healing back.
[00:23:24] Speaker D: Whoop.
[00:23:25] Speaker A: There you go.
[00:23:25] Speaker D: Thank you. That feels so much better.
[00:23:27] Speaker A: And, ooh, as you look around and you check under the beds, you don't see anything.
Okay.
Okay, let's go. So that's been about. You've taken about 20 minutes. Where would you guys like to go now?
[00:23:44] Speaker C: So is.
Sorry, what's our new friend doing? Is she leaving or is she. What's her deal?
[00:23:52] Speaker A: She's. I mean, you. She can stay. She can come with you. Um, you could take her to the last location, which you haven't really looked into yet, which is. Lady decors school for girls.
[00:24:04] Speaker C: School for wayward girls. Yes, I'm aware.
[00:24:06] Speaker D: Or the tower she mentioned, where everything's getting.
[00:24:09] Speaker A: Or Tessen tower. Correct.
[00:24:11] Speaker C: I think Tessin tower is where the bad guys are. Is that what she said?
[00:24:13] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:24:14] Speaker C: Yeah, we definitely don't want to take her there.
[00:24:18] Speaker B: You forgot one.
[00:24:19] Speaker C: Take her as a prisoner. Like.
[00:24:21] Speaker A: Yeah, you're right. They really are portable.
[00:24:25] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:24:26] Speaker E: Well, I think in this instance, time is of the essence. So we might want to make moves quickly.
[00:24:34] Speaker C: I agree. I think we should probably go to the school for girls, just because that's the last location, to make sure that they got our message and that everything's okay.
I'll leave it up to you. Is it Elianda? Is that her name?
[00:24:48] Speaker A: Aleanda? Yeah.
[00:24:50] Speaker C: I'll leave it up to you, Aleonda, whether or not you want to come with us, or if you feel safer here. I don't think they're going to be back. That seems unlikely. And we'll be back once or, you know, after we go to the school, we'll go to the tower to make sure that your boss is okay.
[00:25:07] Speaker A: I'm going to try and get some rest here. You said you took care of the ghosts, right?
[00:25:14] Speaker C: I mean, for now. But isn't that like, a constant haunt in your city?
[00:25:21] Speaker A: Maybe. And you just see her kind of, like, starting to get really scared again.
[00:25:25] Speaker C: I mean, I'm. I'm sure they won't come back before we do. Hey, nicer. We should go. Come on, let's go.
[00:25:31] Speaker A: Knife.
[00:25:32] Speaker F: Sword. Hey, hey.
[00:25:33] Speaker C: Hey, buddy.
Tintana, shake him awake.
[00:25:36] Speaker A: Hey, hey.
[00:25:37] Speaker C: Hey, pal.
[00:25:38] Speaker F: Taking this pillow.
[00:25:39] Speaker B: I mean, I don't know if it'll.
[00:25:42] Speaker C: Fit in the backpack, but.
[00:25:43] Speaker E: Okay, who calls out, don't make me come get you.
[00:25:46] Speaker F: Just gonna. I'm gonna, like, grab my pillow reluctantly, and shuffle behind, all solid in my head.
[00:25:52] Speaker C: Down, sucking his thumb.
[00:25:57] Speaker F: Can't sleep.
Shut up, little pints.
[00:25:59] Speaker C: I.
[00:26:01] Speaker A: Okay, so I have given you all some experience points for doing well, and we're gonna jump back to the map of Kintargo now.
[00:26:15] Speaker D: What about tasty, tasty hero points? We get any of those?
[00:26:17] Speaker A: Oh, you all have. Oh. Oh, Christine, thank you for mentioning this. I forgot to tell you this. In the beginning, everybody has a hero point.
Okay, so everybody has one hero point, except for knife sword, who has two, because he's. He earned one from last game. And we are now implementing the hero point cards, as well as the fact that our patrons are able to submit hero point cards on there as well. So they should be marked if a patron submitted one, and they are all good. I do not get these at all. So the patrons were like, hey, let's make these really effective for everyone. So, yes, everyone has hero points. All right, so you are in the northwest of Contago at the long roads coffee house. Where are you all headed?
[00:27:19] Speaker D: Are we dropping Alejandra off at Lady Ducours? Because it is right there.
[00:27:22] Speaker B: Is it on the way?
[00:27:23] Speaker C: I thought we were going to lady course.
[00:27:24] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Alejandra is staying at the cottage.
[00:27:28] Speaker C: She said she wanted to say.
[00:27:29] Speaker A: Right. Right.
[00:27:30] Speaker D: I do not see a Tessen tower. Am I blind?
[00:27:34] Speaker A: No. Tessen tower is along the silver road to the east.
[00:27:39] Speaker D: Okay, so that's out of the city. Yeah. So let's go check on lady decors and then maybe head out of the city. Sound good?
[00:27:45] Speaker C: Yeah. All those wayward girls in that school may be in danger.
[00:27:50] Speaker D: Twintellen, do you. Twin Talon, do you have some kind of ulterior motive to want to go to this girls school? I'm sure they're all very young.
[00:27:58] Speaker C: No, I just.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: Brianna will narrow her eyes at Twintellen.
[00:28:02] Speaker C: No, Matt just likes to change the name of it to the school for wayward girls. I don't know why. It's funny to me.
I get joy out of it, that's all.
[00:28:12] Speaker A: When you said Wayward girls, I for some reason think west side school. Lady decors. West side school is falling down.
[00:28:19] Speaker D: Wayside school.
[00:28:21] Speaker A: Wayside? Yeah, wayside school.
[00:28:23] Speaker D: I forget who the author is, but like all those, like, sideways stories from Wayside school. Oh, my God.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:28] Speaker C: And in case any fifth edition players are out there, wayward means difficult to control or predict. Because of unusual or perverse behavior. That's what the dictionary says.
[00:28:39] Speaker A: Okay, now that we've had our literary moment.
[00:28:43] Speaker D: Obligatory tangent.
[00:28:47] Speaker A: As you approach. This curiously shaped building is made of Contago's typical silver streaked pale stone, but is covered with sinuous carvings of vines, trees, and flowers. Narrow windows punctuate these carvings, adding to the distinct look in a way that invokes elven architecture. Five doors shaped like narrow gothic arches form the building's entrance. Ornate letters carved above the doors. In both elven and common, read lady decors school for girls. Each door has an additional label written in both english and elven as well, from north to south deliveries, parents, pupils, instructors, and visitors. A braided silver cord hangs next to each door.
[00:29:36] Speaker D: I suppose we're visitors.
[00:29:38] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:29:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I suppose so.
[00:29:41] Speaker E: We might be visitors, but they might be here already. What's the fastest way to get in?
[00:29:45] Speaker C: Or we could be instructors. We could instruct them in the ways of pain.
I mean, the bad guys. Stop looking at me like that.
[00:29:52] Speaker B: I was about.
Brianna will not stop looking at him like that. In fact, her eyes narrow. So far they look like two slices.
Don't worry about it.
[00:30:06] Speaker A: Did you say that's a paddle in it?
[00:30:08] Speaker D: I heard that.
I will ring the bell for visitors.
[00:30:15] Speaker A: A well dressed, half elven woman answers, smiles.
Hello.
[00:30:21] Speaker B: Get her. Just kidding. Don't do it.
[00:30:23] Speaker D: Yes. Hello. We were sent here to see if anyone in the school had caught sight of the kite display.
[00:30:31] Speaker A: Ah, yes. Please follow me this way. She opens the door and gestures for you to follow her inside.
[00:30:39] Speaker B: Vanna will lead just in case.
[00:30:41] Speaker E: Who will go last?
[00:30:43] Speaker A: She leads you to an octagonal sitting room with comfortable divans and fragile tables laden with refreshments. Please help yourself. And politely asks you to give a moment or to give her a moment while she fetches the headmistress lady decor.
[00:31:01] Speaker D: Okay, I will sample if there's like a tea sandwich or a cookie or something.
[00:31:06] Speaker A: Oh, yes. There's cucumber sandwiches.
Very. There's a nice charcuterie board.
[00:31:12] Speaker D: Say it right.
[00:31:14] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:31:14] Speaker D: It's a shark coochie board.
[00:31:16] Speaker A: Shark coochie. Yes. You see a shark coochie. Shark coochie board.
Sharky board.
[00:31:23] Speaker E: All right.
[00:31:27] Speaker B: It'S all for that.
[00:31:28] Speaker D: Oh, yeah.
[00:31:29] Speaker A: Nice. There's delicate goblets in front of you and you see a decanter of fine elven wine. There's also water.
There's some bread and butter.
[00:31:41] Speaker C: Twin Talon, being very suspicious of everything, is not going to eat or drink anything.
[00:31:45] Speaker D: Oh, I have poison resistance. That's why I'm trying it first.
[00:31:48] Speaker F: I have a pillowcase. I'm going to fill it.
[00:31:51] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:31:52] Speaker A: It is delicious, Surreya.
[00:31:54] Speaker D: And it does not make me feel funny.
[00:31:58] Speaker A: Nope. Knife. Sword. As you are. Like taking your arm across the table, swiping things into your pillow.
[00:32:04] Speaker F: Oh, yeah, exactly.
[00:32:06] Speaker A: You see, flanked by two tall, half elf girls, the graceful woman is the image of elven elegance. Dressed in flowing silken robes with a delicate pattern of grapevines, she sports an elaborate silver diadem atop smooth scarlet hair that falls past her waist. Stepping noiselessly in delicate slippers, her hand clasped, she nods politely. When troubles come, they come not singly, she remarks with a slight smile. How can we help you?
[00:32:41] Speaker D: I give like a full. Whatever. Like a proper elven greeting would be okay. We just wanted to ensure that you and all of the girls were safe after the events that have been happening around the city.
[00:32:52] Speaker A: Oh, we are. She looks around quite fine here. What are you.
[00:32:57] Speaker D: What was the name of the halfling that was at the. The kite field? I can't remember.
[00:33:01] Speaker A: Does anybody knowleep remember?
[00:33:04] Speaker C: She was last lone in disguise because she's Noly.
[00:33:06] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Noly wanted us to check up on you.
[00:33:10] Speaker A: She. She nods at you. And I'm going to make some super secret roles.
[00:33:18] Speaker B: Oh, boy.
[00:33:19] Speaker A: What could possibly go wrong?
[00:33:22] Speaker F: Box scars.
[00:33:24] Speaker B: Well, while you're doing that and the conversation happening. Brianna will probably, like, poke at knife sword to stop and then just resign herself and pick him up by the scruff of the neck and put him in her backpack.
[00:33:41] Speaker F: I'm stopping when she does that. I'm just, like, stuffing my face while she's picking me up.
[00:33:46] Speaker A: Ooh.
[00:33:46] Speaker E: Is also stuffing her face with that charcoal cheap board, so.
[00:33:54] Speaker A: Of course you are. I'm giving knife sort of penalty to this role. So just so you guys know, his diplomacy, check.
[00:34:02] Speaker E: Uh oh.
[00:34:03] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:34:04] Speaker D: The sense bullshit, check she's doing.
[00:34:06] Speaker C: I like how it's like. Secret check. Secret check. Secret check. Knife, swords, diplomacy, check. Secret check.
[00:34:13] Speaker A: I missed a button.
[00:34:16] Speaker C: Gotcha.
[00:34:17] Speaker F: Oof.
[00:34:17] Speaker A: As you are nodding, she looks at you and trusts you. She says, oh, please come with me. And she leads you down a corridor to another room, where the two young girls stand outside the door. And this elf is in there with you.
My name is Mia. Laurie. Just a few hours before you came here, three members of the Scarlet triad dared an ill advised infiltration of the school. Fencing lessons were in session, and even with their blunted practice weapons, our well trained students were able to, you see her pause and kind of look around, repulse the thugs. They were very incompetent. The agents must have been new, but we have captured them.
[00:35:13] Speaker D: Oh, how delightful.
[00:35:14] Speaker B: Congratulations, dolph.
[00:35:16] Speaker F: Scallywags were made holy by their transgression.
[00:35:22] Speaker D: Please be some of my friends.
[00:35:29] Speaker A: We don't know what we should do with them. The agents that we captured.
We have a few ideas, but since you seem to be dealing with the problem, we would like to hear any ideas you have.
[00:35:47] Speaker D: Have you already started to see what information you can get from it?
[00:35:52] Speaker A: We have. But again, this is a school, not necessarily an interrogation room.
[00:35:56] Speaker C: I mean, any room is an interrogation room if you ask people questions there.
[00:36:00] Speaker A: What is that? Perception check for Brianna.
[00:36:03] Speaker B: I'm sensing bullshit.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: With a 22. There is something up with this place, but you're not completely sure what it is.
[00:36:16] Speaker B: Okay. Even with. With her, what she said, she is.
[00:36:19] Speaker A: Telling you the truth. Okay, but she is leaving you. You get them sense that she's leaving something out. Like when she said that they must be. Must have been new or something, you're like, maybe. Or maybe this is so much more. More defensible position than you're letting on.
[00:36:40] Speaker C: Or that she's not just.
It's not just like, beginners fencing lesson. Maybe they're like. They're actually like, well, like, is this, like, a school for assassins or something secretly? Like, something like that? Is that. What kind of I'm thinking.
[00:36:52] Speaker A: I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Have. Has everyone seen the Black Widow movie?
[00:36:59] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:36:59] Speaker A: Think of the red room like it looks. Might be a school, but it could also be an assassin's training ground.
[00:37:06] Speaker B: Give a look to Saraya and kind of like, gently shake her head so nobody else but Soraya would.
[00:37:12] Speaker D: Yeah. So I'll lay a hand on hers. And there's no need to be so coy about things.
Let's be fair. We were the ones who dispatched the insurgents at the coffee. If your girls are capable of more, I would love to hear about it.
[00:37:31] Speaker A: Ah, yes. Well, she kind of brushes that off and goes. Well, here's what we have thought. The options that we. We have thought about doing here. We can simply turn them over to the city guard for breaking and entering and, you know, threatening our dear children here.
We could make them disappear for good.
We could interrogate them. You could. We would let you interrogate them. Or we could arrange an accidental lapse in security, giving the agents a chance to escape. You could then follow them back to wherever they're hiding. We could also position some of our students around the town to provide surveillance and aid you in this case.
[00:38:23] Speaker B: Curious that you would use your students to do such possibly dangerous work. She'll give. Sorry, another look.
[00:38:34] Speaker A: This is what the elf that you are speaking with looks like.
[00:38:40] Speaker C: All those brow piercings. Are they brow piercings?
She's like, ten eyebrow piercings. Jeeze.
[00:38:46] Speaker D: And like, tattoos over her eyebrows. Okay, do these mean anything significant? If I were to, like in like, elven society or anything. I have elven lore.
[00:38:56] Speaker A: Okay, so I'm going to roll a couple numbers here.
And you look, and Brianna, you look and you both kind of exchange a glance, a knowing look between the two. Two of you. And you recognize those marks as Lunafex markings.
[00:39:18] Speaker B: What?
Thank you.
[00:39:24] Speaker C: No, it's like a carfax, but for moons. I think that's what it is.
[00:39:29] Speaker E: Sounds right. Checks out.
[00:39:31] Speaker A: So the Lunafex are. I'm trying to pull up all of the information about it is an archetype. Oh, cool. That you have now unlocked.
[00:39:41] Speaker E: We've unlocked an archetype?
[00:39:43] Speaker A: Yes. Meaning, technically, before this, you couldn't take this archetype, but you both know that the Lunafex are a secret assassin's group, so you are absolutely right. This is a part of the Lunafex spy network. They are the training these girls, essentially, to be black widows. Minus the bad portion of the black widow thing. They can still get married and have children and whatnot. You can get training here for specialty skills and specialty spells. Normally, it only. They only allow women to join, but since you are helping with this, an elven or half elven ancestry. But since you are, you know, working with them, they will teach you. If you like. Lacuna. I'm sorry. L A C U N A F E X. Lacuna Fex is a small network of spies and couriers that operate in secret across Cheliux and are based out of lady decor school for girls in the village district of free spirited Contago and northern Cheliaks. The school provides both cover and recruiting ground for the Lacuna fex. Its headmistress, Lady Malari de Koor, is also the organization's founder. Lady Decor runs the school, which centers almost exclusively to half elven girls from across Cheliaks, Iskur and Molthune, but secretly recruits her most talented pupils into the Lacuna fex, where they are taught spycraft. The organization was founded on somewhat of a whim, but now works across the nation and is known to frequently work with the Erori, Sacred Order of archivists.
[00:41:34] Speaker B: Okay, your.
[00:41:35] Speaker A: Your intuition was 100% correct.
[00:41:39] Speaker B: Hooray.
[00:41:40] Speaker A: There is definitely something going on here. Knife. Sword.
[00:41:43] Speaker F: Hmm?
[00:41:44] Speaker A: You know that those tattoos mean that she is a follower of Asmodeus and is 100% evil. She is torturing these children.
[00:41:56] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:41:56] Speaker A: And wants them to be.
Is using these children to abduct halflings and is working with the Scarlet triad.
[00:42:06] Speaker D: Okay, so I have to know, is it that if you fail, you get horrible information like that, or you. You just don't know anything?
[00:42:14] Speaker A: You get horrible information.
[00:42:15] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:42:16] Speaker A: When you roll a natural one, you get horrible information.
[00:42:19] Speaker D: All right?
Because you've done this a couple times when it hasn't always made sense, but I guess.
[00:42:27] Speaker A: Twin Talon. That food was delicious.
[00:42:29] Speaker C: I didn't eat any of it.
[00:42:31] Speaker A: It looks delicious.
[00:42:32] Speaker F: I'm, uh, choking on my food.
[00:42:37] Speaker B: I told you not to eat too much.
[00:42:39] Speaker F: I reach. I crawl out of the backpack, and I'm gonna whisper in Brianna's ear that what you just told me.
[00:42:46] Speaker B: No, no, that's. That's not true, dear. I'll. I'll explain later what they are. Okay?
No, no, you're. It's okay.
Go have a lie down. Okay. I think there's some of that pink potion in. In my backpack. I think it's called pepto Bismol. So have some of that. Have a lie down. I'll carry you for a bit. It's okay.
[00:43:18] Speaker F: I'm gonna act like I'm going down, like, a circular staircase, and then pull the top shirt.
[00:43:29] Speaker D: I love the backpack.
[00:43:30] Speaker B: Shenanigans have expected him to, like, press a button and him slowly lower. Lift.
[00:43:39] Speaker D: That's next week. He's installing it right now.
[00:43:41] Speaker A: Right?
Also. Ooh, and, Brianna, you realize that the plan, that of the plans she mentioned, the staged escape, is probably her favorite one.
[00:43:55] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:43:56] Speaker E: I guess ooh. Is not shy, so she's gonna say some. Oh, hey, I recognize y'all. I remember you with your tattoos. Your assassin kills you ain't got nothing to feed here. We will definitely help you out. I have. You have no worries. You want to chase these people down? Let's do this. I am ready for a fight. Let's play Serea's eyebrows.
[00:44:24] Speaker D: Just creeping higher and higher and higher.
[00:44:30] Speaker A: She smiles and says, excellent.
I will get everything in place, and I will let you know once we have information.
[00:44:43] Speaker E: How soon can we expect this party to get started?
[00:44:46] Speaker A: Give me about ten minutes to get everything set up, and then it'll probably be, depending on how far they go, maybe an hour, maybe less.
[00:44:56] Speaker E: All right.
[00:44:57] Speaker D: Our plan was also to head out to Tussen tower. We heard that's where they seem to be taking some of the halflings.
[00:45:02] Speaker C: Yeah, I think we already know where they're gonna go going. But it'd be good to see if. I guess, if there's any other hidey holes.
[00:45:10] Speaker A: Yes, yes. Let's make sure. Root out the problem. And, ma'am, she addresses. Ooh. Um, I trust you'll keep that information that you just said between us.
[00:45:24] Speaker E: Oh, it'll be our little secret.
[00:45:26] Speaker A: Good. I appreciate. I appreciate that.
[00:45:29] Speaker D: I was gonna ask the party. I can leave Jasper here if we want to head out to Tessen Tower. If they end up going somewhere else, they can let him know and he'll come find out. I.
[00:45:38] Speaker B: That sounds like a good idea to me.
[00:45:40] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:45:41] Speaker D: I forget what form he's in now, but he'll go to, like, full elf form.
[00:45:45] Speaker A: He was in elf form.
[00:45:47] Speaker D: Perfect. Cool. Then he'll just, like, wave.
[00:45:50] Speaker A: Awkwardly kind of.
[00:45:52] Speaker D: He's still getting used to, like, hand hands. He's very excited about it. And he just kind of points at the food, like, can I have some?
[00:46:00] Speaker E: Can he even eat?
[00:46:02] Speaker D: Oh, yes, he could eat.
She'll just look over at lady decor, just be like. He is less conspicuous in this form, I promise. He stands out a bit when he's.
[00:46:13] Speaker B: In a flesh bird.
[00:46:18] Speaker C: The same, like, skin texture and stuff. He just big.
[00:46:22] Speaker D: No, he passes. He passes for an elf. It's the master's form thing, because technically, he would also just usually be raven. Anyway, I just like having fun with the homunculus thing.
[00:46:32] Speaker C: I just imagine he looks like a scarecrow. Like he just like.
No, like a person just stuffed with stuff. He's just kind of like weird and awkward because he doesn't really understand how limbs work.
[00:46:43] Speaker D: He's gotten used to it now because it's been a bit that he's had limbs, but every once in a while he still gets delighted at having actual hands. And I feel like he definitely still has, like the raven like double eyelid.
He hasn't learned to always blink all of his eyelids at the same time.
[00:46:59] Speaker A: So with that, you leave Jasper behind in his elven scarecrow, multiple eyelid.
[00:47:09] Speaker D: He sits in a chair, delighted and just like waves, smiling like an idiot as we all leave.
[00:47:16] Speaker A: And you head to Tessen Tower and we will pick it up here next week.
[00:47:25] Speaker C: Was that an hour?
[00:47:27] Speaker D: He didn't interrupt anyone's turn in combat. I know. It feels weird to end the episode.
[00:47:30] Speaker B: Hell yeah.
[00:47:32] Speaker C: We didn't get to combat. He would have.
[00:47:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I know.
[00:47:35] Speaker C: I'm sure he's feeling bad about it.
[00:47:37] Speaker A: I do. But, you know, I'll give you this win. Thank you for listening to the Crack Die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape because Epic Games deserve Epic music. Please visit
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