[00:00:38] Speaker A: Hello, everyone, and welcome back for another episode of the Crack Die podcast. My name is Matt. I play twin talent on the show. This week is episode 99, one away from 100. So next Thursday will be our 100th episode. Congratulations to us and congratulations to you for coming along with us. Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with us through 100 episodes. Whether you started last week and binged through them like a crazy person or youve been here the over two years that weve been doing this, either way, we appreciate you. If you would like to appreciate us back, you know, in a monetary sense, you know where this is going, you can go to patreon.com, crackdypodcast or Crackedypodcast where you can pledge monthly to help us offset the cost of producing the show. We have a $10 tier coming very soon and we're thinking about some of the things, some of the things that maybe people want. So if you're not someone who pledges on Patreon, but you're like, I would if you guys would only let us know. Also, quick plug this weekend, October 2 is the next episode of our Absalom and order Twitch show where I, as the GM run Haya Shawn, Brent and Pete through the agents of Edgewatch adventure path. Normally that's one to 04:00 p.m. eastern time on Saturday. However, this week we're gonna be starting an hour earlier and ending an hour earlier. So it's going to be noon eastern time to 03:00 p.m. eastern time this week. Someone emailed into us and I believe that we emailed them back, but if we didn't, I apologize and I'm answering your question now. But it's come up previously. Why don't we or when will we release Absalom in order as a podcast, an audio form? And the answer to that is we would really like to. It is another show that we could put out. We have a backlog of them, so it wouldn't be a push to make sure we have episodes ready every week. But the thing is, each one of these episodes takes 20 ish hours of our time to edit and put out there. So with everything else we have going on in our lives, jobs and things like that, it's very hard to squeeze in another 20 hours a week to edit another podcast. So if we can get people to pledge to the Patreon to the level at which we can hire an editor, that is definitely something that we are planning on doing. However, as it is, we just do not have the resources to do that. So while we appreciate your request for that, and while we would really like to do it until such time happens, as we can afford to hire an editor to make that happen, it's not going to, but we would encourage you to join us at Twitch TV, Crackdie, on every third Saturday, which is October 2 and the third Saturday, etcetera, until the end of time for Absalom and order. We also twitch pretty much every Saturday, one to four, but typically it's something else. So we recently hit our goal on the Twitch show to do a everyone is John game where everyone is David Angel street freak. If you don't know who David Angel street freak is, you haven't been watching the other show. But that's another thing that will be coming up soon. Other than that we stream video games. We stream, I think Sean's painted models on there before. So it's a variety of stuff. If you let us know what kind of stuff you want to see, we will do more of that. But let's get to the reason you're here. Place this episode, episode 99 of the Crack Die podcast. Barely breathing.
[00:04:00] Speaker B: Welcome to the 99th episode of the Crack Die podcast.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: So close.
[00:04:09] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:04:10] Speaker D: Wait, Shawn, do you have something special planned or something like, we're hyping this up, but I feel like.
I feel like that's all I'm gonna say.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: I'm nervous, so part of me.
Okay, let me go back. Let me start this thought again.
[00:04:28] Speaker D: All right.
[00:04:29] Speaker B: I've recently started rewatching all of South park for like, the fifth time.
[00:04:34] Speaker A: Okay, wait, did you just jump conversations?
[00:04:37] Speaker B: No, nope, nope. Hang on. Bear with me.
[00:04:39] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:04:40] Speaker B: And I think it was either season one or season two when they did who is Cartman's father?
They ended the one season with the cliffhanger as the first episode of the next season was completely not the reveal. They did, like a Terrance and Phillips special, and then the second episode, they continued. Who was Cartman's father? So part of me. Part of me really wanted to hype up episode 100 and then just have it be a standard episode.
[00:05:14] Speaker D: Oh, that'd be so mean.
[00:05:16] Speaker B: Allah. South park.
[00:05:18] Speaker A: And then do something for 101 or.
[00:05:20] Speaker B: Yeah, then do something for like 101 or like 107 or some random number.
[00:05:26] Speaker C: Is this something when people are like, oh, year 2000 wasn't the millennium, it was 2001.
[00:05:32] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Just be a jerk. But I don't think I'm gonna do that. I don't know. Still haven't decided. I got a week to figure it out, right?
[00:05:41] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, sure. That's probably enough time to plan an event.
[00:05:45] Speaker D: Yep. Mm hmm.
[00:05:46] Speaker E: Totally. He said, not visibly panicking.
[00:05:49] Speaker B: Okay, well, whatever.
[00:05:50] Speaker A: I'm not out prepare anything, so it doesn't bother me.
[00:05:52] Speaker D: I mean, I know I will worry for Sean then. It's fine.
[00:05:58] Speaker E: It's not worth worrying for Shawn, as.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: We discovered last episode, being a himbo and all.
[00:06:05] Speaker D: Just leaning into that now.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: Oh, yep.
[00:06:07] Speaker D: Very.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: No, I feel like he's using it as an excuse. Anything doesn't happen now. He's like, well, I'm a himbo, and you can't expect anything of me.
[00:06:14] Speaker D: Teehee, teehee.
[00:06:18] Speaker B: You can't see it, but I'm pointing my finger to my cheek, and, like.
[00:06:21] Speaker D: I could hear it. What he said to he, Sean really.
[00:06:24] Speaker E: Likes posing like the coppertone girl.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: Get that image out of your head, listeners.
[00:06:36] Speaker E: I don't ThiNK they've ever seen.
[00:06:37] Speaker B: You can't do it, can you? Ha ha.
So when we last left, you guys had. Let me rephrase it.
[00:06:44] Speaker A: The copper tone girl with the dog pulling her drawers down.
[00:06:47] Speaker B: That one. Yeah.
[00:06:49] Speaker A: All right.
[00:06:49] Speaker D: Now Matt can't get it out of his head. I was gonna say, whatever you two do in the bedroom, it stays in the bedroom.
[00:06:55] Speaker E: Believe me, that's not what I want in the bedroom.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: Except. Except you just have cats. You don't have a dog, so that's a cat doing that.
[00:07:01] Speaker B: We have birds.
[00:07:03] Speaker A: Okay, sorry. It's a birb. It's a birb.
[00:07:05] Speaker B: Doing it.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: AnywaY. 99. Here we go.
[00:07:08] Speaker B: AnYwaY, so last time we played knife sword, used the landkraken to, you know, penetrate. No torture. Yeah, penetrate a sailor. And Then Brianna talked to them. Ooh. Threw them overboard. You guys found a cloak that twin Talon is now wearing. It's green and gold. Found some ship designs to make the ship hold more captives. Brianna and oo, being the strongest two people in the group, lifted a grate to go down to free some slaves. And captives of the city, twin Talon and Saraya jumped down the ladder. Well, twin Talon jumped. Saraya moved down the ladder. You looked into here and found four dwarves looking angrily at you and about 38 captive members of the town.
[00:08:02] Speaker F: Did you bring the ale?
[00:08:06] Speaker B: Then we all rolled. Initiative it is now twin talons turn.
[00:08:10] Speaker A: Huh?
[00:08:10] Speaker B: These dwarves are menacing you. Okay, they have, in one hand they have a javelin, and the other hand they have a flail.
[00:08:19] Speaker A: Okay, so very quickly, just taking a look real quick. The prisoner who is directly in front of Twintalon to the southwest of him, how is he secured?
[00:08:29] Speaker B: His hands are around the mast with manacles behind it. And there are flail marks on his back.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: Wow. A flail is a chain with a ball and spikes on it. Like, why would that. Seems like they're not torturing people, just murdering them. Are his restraints somewhere where I could access them now or. No, no. That is unfortunate. Same thing with the prisoner that's exposed to the north.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: You could actually get the one in the back. His chains are closest to you.
[00:08:57] Speaker A: Okay, my question is from here, can I access one of the set of manacles to unlock them?
[00:09:02] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:09:03] Speaker A: Okay, what's one Talon is going to do is a one action because he has quick unlock. He's going to attempt to unlock the manacles.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: Start a little chaos. That is a 32.
[00:09:14] Speaker B: That is success. So that counts as two successes, but they don't unlock.
[00:09:18] Speaker A: All right.
[00:09:19] Speaker D: Huh.
[00:09:19] Speaker A: And then twin Talon is going to yell as loud as he can, ninja vanish. And then he's going to basically teleport. But he's, he's not really going to go anywhere. But his square will fill with smoke so they can't see him.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:09:33] Speaker A: He's gonna dimension door basically nowhere. And then hopefully alert the people upstairs that something's going on.
I'm sorry. No, let me rephrase. He'll yell, you'll never take me alive. You four dwarven slavers, ninja vanish.
And then he will puff a smoke. But he's still standing right where he is. But they can't see him. Okay, and that's his turn.
[00:09:54] Speaker E: I'd give him a hero point for that too. That's pretty crazy.
[00:09:56] Speaker D: I think that's a pretty good turn.
[00:09:58] Speaker A: So I did the unlock, which is one cape of the mountain bank is two actions, and that's, that's three actions. So that's it.
[00:10:03] Speaker B: All right. One of the dwarves to the northwest.
[00:10:06] Speaker D: You just say dwarfs.
[00:10:07] Speaker B: Nope.
[00:10:09] Speaker D: Okay, I know nothing.
[00:10:12] Speaker B: So you're concealed, right? You're concealed in smoke, right?
[00:10:17] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:10:17] Speaker B: They'll move down towards Seraya. I'll move south towards Serea and will swing a flail.
[00:10:27] Speaker E: Okay, yeah, that'll do it. Not a crit though.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: Ha ha.
They'll do 21 points of damage as the flail hits you.
[00:10:38] Speaker E: Ouch.
[00:10:39] Speaker B: And for their last action, if an item has the trip characteristic.
[00:10:47] Speaker A: So normally you need to make a trip attack with a free hand. If an item has, if a weapon specifically has the trip trait, that means you do not have to have a free hand to trip with that weapon.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: Okay, so they're gonna try and trip. Saraya, what is your reflex? DC 28.
[00:11:07] Speaker A: Well, remember, this is their second attack.
[00:11:09] Speaker B: Oh, that's right.
[00:11:10] Speaker A: So it's minus five.
[00:11:12] Speaker B: That is minus five. So 24.
[00:11:15] Speaker E: Nope.
[00:11:16] Speaker B: So they bring it around to swing at your feet after they smack you in the face with it and you get out of the way.
[00:11:22] Speaker E: She just scoffs and sidesteps in.
[00:11:24] Speaker B: Next up is another dwarf to the north. They're gonna take their flail and attempt to hit one of the captives.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: What?
[00:11:35] Speaker B: That will hit.
[00:11:37] Speaker A: Why?
[00:11:38] Speaker B: And deal. 17 points of damage, knocking this captive unconscious, I guess.
[00:11:45] Speaker E: So they can't get away or join the fight. Dying.
[00:11:48] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, these are just like peasants that are probably already been beaten. He's tied up. He was no threat. I don't know what these people are doing.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: He turns around and throws his javelin at Saraya with a natural 20.
[00:12:04] Speaker D: Yikes.
[00:12:05] Speaker B: For a 30. And that will do 26 points of damage as the javelin lands into your shoulder. And then last action, they will move forward to try and hit you with the flail. Alright, Saraya, it is your turn. After getting stabbed and hit with a.
[00:12:23] Speaker E: Flail, we're gonna see her do some things that she doesn't really do. There's too many people around. She doesn't want to be flinging splash damage.
She's gonna crack her knuckles and deck this guy in the face, the one that's right in front of her and attacked her first.
[00:12:39] Speaker D: Good stuff.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:12:40] Speaker E: And I have my plus one hand wraps of mighty blows.
[00:12:44] Speaker B: 33 will hit.
[00:12:46] Speaker E: Cool. That was eight damage.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: All right. You punch him right in the face.
[00:12:51] Speaker D: Good work.
[00:12:52] Speaker E: Yeah. So she's gonna do it again. See if I can hit him the second time for a 27.
[00:12:59] Speaker B: That will hit.
[00:13:00] Speaker E: Cool. That is six damage.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: You punch him into the gut. For a dwarf, you know, you gotta reach a little lower for that gut punch. Oh yeah.
[00:13:09] Speaker E: She like has to crouch down a little bit and it's like an underhand, it's an uppercut, but it hits him in the gut. And then she's going to. She doesn't, probably doesn't know twin Talon is there either. But I can move their allies. So she's gonna run away a little bit and get to the other side of the ship near some of the other after the dwarves are at least have to move to get to her.
[00:13:27] Speaker B: Okay, that works. Does it? Is now another dwarf's turn. Now that cloak, does it make you invisible?
[00:13:36] Speaker A: No, it basically produces smoke in my square. So I'm concealed from everyone.
[00:13:41] Speaker E: So it's like the flop. Five to hit you then?
[00:13:43] Speaker B: Yeah. All right.
[00:13:44] Speaker A: So I mean, and also I was stealthing when I got here.
[00:13:48] Speaker B: Right. All right. So I'm gonna use the seek action to try and find you.
[00:13:52] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:13:53] Speaker B: So what is your stealth DC?
[00:13:57] Speaker A: My stealth DC is 31.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: Okay. That's not hard at all. 19 will not make it.
[00:14:03] Speaker A: That is a critical failure.
[00:14:05] Speaker B: Yeesh.
[00:14:05] Speaker A: I don't know if that does anything but that's what that is.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: It doesn't have a critical failure effect. But I'm gonna say I can't locate you at all. So he's just gonna move towards Saraya and make a flail attack.
[00:14:19] Speaker E: That was the goal is to make.
[00:14:20] Speaker B: Him waste an action to move and misses you with a 24. All right. Knife, sword. You hear a commotion from downstairs, right?
[00:14:31] Speaker F: Bonsai.
[00:14:34] Speaker B: Alright. You jump down and you immediately land and you see two dwarves next to you. To your north. You also see a cloud of smoke and you see another dwarf menacing Saraya.
[00:14:52] Speaker F: Okay, I'm gonna try to goblin pox the guy in front of me.
[00:14:55] Speaker B: Okay. I need to make a save. Fortitude save.
I succeed with a 36. So I am sickened. And that's your turn. Jump down the hole and a two action cast.
[00:15:10] Speaker A: I don't think he jumped on the hole.
[00:15:11] Speaker B: Well, he moved down.
[00:15:12] Speaker A: If he jumped he would land a plan on his face and take a damn.
[00:15:16] Speaker B: I imagine him grabbing the sides of the ladder and just sliding down.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: It makes sense.
[00:15:20] Speaker D: Yeah, checks out.
[00:15:21] Speaker B: Ooh, it is your turn again. You also hear commotion coming from downstairs.
[00:15:26] Speaker C: So are we holding this up right now or we just. We just moved it to the side.
[00:15:30] Speaker D: We probably moved.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: You just moved it to the side? Yeah.
[00:15:33] Speaker C: You all right?
[00:15:33] Speaker D: I just want to make sure that's fair.
[00:15:35] Speaker C: All right.
[00:15:35] Speaker B: Ooh.
[00:15:35] Speaker C: Gets really like excited in many ways. And she rages and then she jumps down.
[00:15:44] Speaker A: It's okay. This place is full of bilge water. No one will notice.
[00:15:49] Speaker C: No one will notice that I am.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: A slip inside as well as the.
[00:15:52] Speaker B: Rest of the ship is a slip inside.
[00:15:54] Speaker C: It's fine.
Oh. Oh, I have something. Twin Talon. You will like this. Yeah. Okay.
[00:16:01] Speaker B: Yes I do.
[00:16:02] Speaker C: Come and get me. A pat my chest.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: All right.
[00:16:05] Speaker C: Come and get me.
[00:16:06] Speaker B: So you raged.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: Moved, moved.
[00:16:09] Speaker B: And you said, come and get me. Until your rage ends, you are flat footed. And anyone who attacks you gets a plus two against you. If a creature hits you, that creature is flat footed until the end of your next turn. And then if you hit it before the end of your next turn, you get temporary hit points equal to your constitution. Constitution modifier.
[00:16:27] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:16:30] Speaker B: All right. Brianna.
[00:16:32] Speaker E: All right.
[00:16:32] Speaker D: Well, since everybody's hanging out in the hole and I don't want to, you know, be left out. I say, Datzani, let's go. Because she's my girl. We're sisters here. So I will also hop down and see what the fuss is about. Can I land on one of the dwarves?
[00:16:50] Speaker B: Unfortunately, wrong side of the ladder, actually. I will say you can.
[00:16:55] Speaker A: Oh, well, good, because while Brianna is solid muscle, she's also full plate and all of her other equipment.
[00:17:01] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly.
[00:17:03] Speaker B: All right, but let me pull up. Falling on other creatures. If you land on a creature, that creature must attempt a reflex safe. A DC 15 reflex safe. Alright, so I have to make a DC 15 reflex safe. All right, so he succeeds. I take bludgeoning damage equal to the falling damage that you would take. So.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: So he takes the damage on him. Success.
[00:17:26] Speaker B: Yep. The creature takes bludgeoning damage equal to one quarter of the falling damage. Okay, one quarter makes it so it's 20ft down.
[00:17:35] Speaker A: So falling damage would be ten. So he takes five.
[00:17:37] Speaker B: And Brienne also takes ten and lands prone. But I will say that is one action. Okay, so you cannonball down, down the hole, landing on the dwarf that is has green blisters and bubbles coming off of his skin. Suddenly.
[00:17:56] Speaker D: Whoops, sorry, I didn't see you there.
[00:17:58] Speaker B: And he staggers back and you land on you more belly flop than cannonball.
But now you are prone.
[00:18:06] Speaker D: Okay, so that was my first action to belly flop.
[00:18:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:10] Speaker D: My second would be to stand.
[00:18:12] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:18:13] Speaker D: And my third would be to the adjacent most dwarf. I'm guessing it is the post.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:18:21] Speaker D: Gentlemen, let me fix those for you.
[00:18:23] Speaker A: Lance Boyle.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: So you rolled a what? 35.
[00:18:28] Speaker D: I did roll a 35.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:18:30] Speaker B: That's a critical, critical hit.
[00:18:33] Speaker D: And I believe you were named, so spun around. The target is flat footed until the end of its next turn.
[00:18:42] Speaker B: You guys are just making targets for twin talon everywhere.
[00:18:46] Speaker D: Take 28 points of damage.
[00:18:50] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:18:51] Speaker B: And you see as you slice into him, some of these blisters pop and you see green goo oozing out of them.
[00:18:59] Speaker D: Gross. I hope that the alleviates you somewhat, friend. That would be my turn.
[00:19:05] Speaker B: It is the last one's turn. And they are going to move and they're going to take their flail at what they think is the biggest target, the one that's yelling. And they are going to swing their flail at. Ooh. So they hit. Ooh, they hit oo with a 32.
[00:19:26] Speaker A: She's flat footed at this point.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: Yes, she is flat footed. So she takes damage. So she takes 21 points of damage plus 223. But that makes him flat footed.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: He's flat footed to her. Specifically, if a creature hits you, that creature is flat footed to you until the end of your next turn to you.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: Yes. Okay, cool. So flat footed to ooh. And then going to attack. Oo again. And I roll a natural one for a total of 14. That's a critical miss. This is broken. Half the weapons current hit points are reduced to its broken threshold.
[00:20:06] Speaker D: Good.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: So that means his flail is now broken. Yep.
[00:20:15] Speaker D: Oh, my goodness.
[00:20:16] Speaker B: A broken item can't be used for its normal functions, nor does it grant bonuses.
Ooh. Lands and he hits her with it the first time and then swings it again and. Ooh. Just kind of catches it and snaps it at the haft and drops it on the ground because it is now broken.
[00:20:34] Speaker C: I'm such a badass bitch.
[00:20:35] Speaker B: I mean, you're not wrong. Twin Talon, it is your turn.
[00:20:40] Speaker A: All right. And twin Talon will lash out of the smoke at the dwarf to his north. That is a 39, which I believe is a critical.
[00:20:49] Speaker B: That is a critical hit.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: Piercing organ scramble, triple damage. Also, the target is fatigued.
[00:20:58] Speaker B: Oh, good.
So go ahead and roll your damage. And.
[00:21:02] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. So that is 48. No, I'm sorry, that's wrong. 72 damage. Cause it's triple damage.
[00:21:11] Speaker B: So there's double and then full.
So you, what do you do? How do you organ scramble?
[00:21:19] Speaker A: Twin talon lashes out from the smoke with just a straight shot to his gut, twists the short sword, and then pulls it out.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: And that scarlet triad thug, you also notice they all have the scarlet triad emblem emblazoned on their shoulder. Pauldron.
[00:21:37] Speaker A: Uh huh.
[00:21:37] Speaker B: He looks down at the gaping hole in his stomach and you hear him yell out in pain, but he is still standing.
[00:21:44] Speaker A: Okay, then I'm going to add on to him the debilitating strike of me doing an extra two d six damage to him every time I hit him.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:21:51] Speaker A: And then I'm going to attack him again. Nice for 28. That is a hit for 33 damage.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: He is still standing.
[00:22:02] Speaker A: It is very tempting to attack him again.
[00:22:04] Speaker B: I'm just saying he's flat footed to you. He is fatigued. What's the worst that happens, Matt? What's the worst that happens?
[00:22:11] Speaker A: You got hero points, and I got one from last time. Yeah.
[00:22:14] Speaker B: Yeah, you got two. Come on. Come on.
[00:22:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Let's just try to take him out. Let's do it.
[00:22:19] Speaker B: Yeah, why not? What's the worst?
[00:22:21] Speaker A: The worst I can do is miss.
[00:22:22] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, unless you hero point and roll two ones back to back. I'm just saying.
[00:22:28] Speaker A: So that's a normal mess.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: That's a normal miss. Would you like to hero point?
[00:22:32] Speaker A: I would.
[00:22:33] Speaker B: All right.
[00:22:33] Speaker A: Cause the worst I can do is the same. And that's much better. That's a 25.
[00:22:38] Speaker B: That's a hit.
[00:22:39] Speaker E: Sweet.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: And that is an additional 31 points of damage to him.
[00:22:45] Speaker B: Would you like to describe your kill?
[00:22:48] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:22:48] Speaker D: Hell, yeah.
[00:22:49] Speaker A: So, twin Talon, first attack, he sticks the short sword out directly into his gut, twists, pulls it back out, grabs it by the shoulder, and then jams it back into the same hole two tor times until the third one pierces his spine out the back. And as he pulls it out, the dwarf just crumples to the ground. Ew. And as that happens, the smoke dissipates, and he was like, just kidding. I'm still here.
[00:23:13] Speaker D: Where'd you come from?
[00:23:15] Speaker B: Somewhere in the distance you hear fatality.
All right, so the second dwarf, who also is flat footed, sees the creature that just landed on him and snarls and swings a flail at Briena and will hit with a 34.
Yeah, that'll hit and does 16 points of flail damage to you. You. Well, then his second action will be to swing at her again.
[00:23:54] Speaker D: All right.
[00:23:54] Speaker B: And I rolled a.
What is that, a nine?
[00:23:58] Speaker A: That's a critical failure.
[00:24:00] Speaker B: Six. For a total of 18, which is a critical failure.
[00:24:03] Speaker D: Sounds great to me.
[00:24:04] Speaker A: Swing away, Meryl.
[00:24:07] Speaker B: You deal the attacks. Normal damage to your armor, applying hardness. And they are currently wearing chainmail. Chainmail has 36 hit points, hardness. Nine. I can break my armor.
[00:24:23] Speaker D: Dwarven chainmailed bikini. Is that what we're implying?
[00:24:27] Speaker B: Let's see how much damage.
[00:24:28] Speaker E: It's a dwarven chainmail. Mankini.
[00:24:32] Speaker D: I like it.
[00:24:36] Speaker E: Who just burned, just made rocks.
[00:24:39] Speaker A: I recognize that.
[00:24:41] Speaker E: I mean, that was a good per, but that just made it worse.
[00:24:48] Speaker A: Sean, I'm glad that you know where all of these numbers are for the, like, break DC and stuff. I don't know where they are, so.
[00:24:54] Speaker B: I wish I could say I'm that good, but I'm using a very wonderful site called pf two easy.com. so he hits his armor. His armor has 30 hit points left.
And for his last attack, he's going to attempt to disarm, which is also an attack. This is versus Briana's reflex.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: DC still has a negative ten.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: All right, here we go. There's a twelve. Beat your reflex save plus ten.
[00:25:29] Speaker E: No.
[00:25:31] Speaker A: Is that a critical failure?
[00:25:35] Speaker B: I lose my balance and become flat footed. So I'm just gonna stay flat footed for a while. All right, well, that person's dead, Saraya.
[00:25:45] Speaker E: Alrighty. Well, I still have this lovely guy.
[00:25:48] Speaker B: Right in front of me, menacing you, growling.
[00:25:51] Speaker E: Why is he growling? Dwarf? Whatever. I'm gonna do another thing I don't usually do.
[00:25:59] Speaker B: He looks at you and goes, come and get me. Yeah, that's his voice.
[00:26:05] Speaker A: Oh, that's unfortunate.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Very, very soft spoken dwarf.
Oh, I'll get you and your little dog too.
You look down, you see that he is wearing striped socks and red sparkly boots.
[00:26:23] Speaker E: Okay, so I have some wyvern poison that I can make. Very fun. Very fun. Says, activate. Two actions interact injury. Do they need to be injured already, or am I just trying to hurt them?
[00:26:34] Speaker A: An injury, poison. It just means that it's applied to a weapon, and then that's how it's administered.
[00:26:40] Speaker E: Assuming my fists don't work for that. Or do they?
[00:26:44] Speaker A: I mean, I would leave that up to Sean, but, yeah, hand wraps are technically weapon.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:26:50] Speaker E: Okay, cool. So, yeah, I'm good to take my take two action. Three actions would be to make the. Make the poison, apply the poison, and hit with the poison. But hopefully he fails his border treat save, and I have a good time. 36.
[00:27:02] Speaker B: 36 will critically hit.
[00:27:06] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: They didn't put the best of the best down here.
[00:27:10] Speaker E: They really didn't.
So bludgeoning normally damage. Okay, crit deal. The same amount of damage to the target's armor, ignoring hardness. I assuming that does not include the poison damage. So we're gonna do that first, and then he can make his fortitude save. So it's six damage to both him and his armor.
[00:27:29] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:27:30] Speaker E: And he has to make a DC 28 fortitude save.
[00:27:33] Speaker B: He saves.
[00:27:35] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:27:36] Speaker E: Does it still have damage or does it negate?
[00:27:38] Speaker A: So I think if you save against the first one, it does nothing, and then it's done. That's how poisons work before. Cause if it failed, then it goes to stage one, and then from there, depending on what the duration is, you have to make a further check. So you can either go to stage two, or then it can be cured.
[00:27:50] Speaker B: All right. It is the dwarf that you just punched. Turn. He's not happy, so he's gonna swing his flail at you and hit with a 30.
[00:28:02] Speaker E: Ouch.
[00:28:03] Speaker B: And deal 19 points of damage to you.
[00:28:06] Speaker E: I'm doing better than I thought I.
[00:28:08] Speaker D: Would be at this point.
[00:28:09] Speaker B: He's then going to try and trip you. Does a. Oh, natural 2032 beat your reflex DC?
[00:28:20] Speaker E: My reflex DC? Yes. My is the 28.
[00:28:25] Speaker B: Okay, so then it's a critical success. The target falls, lands prone, and takes one d. Six bludgeoning damage.
So you take three points of bludgeoning damage.
[00:28:38] Speaker D: Is she close to me?
[00:28:40] Speaker A: No, she's like 25ft away.
[00:28:42] Speaker B: What's your range on liberating?
[00:28:44] Speaker D: It's only 15. I wish it grew as I did, but I believe it does not.
[00:28:49] Speaker B: And you are now prone. And for his last action, I guess he's gonna flail at you again. 19 on the die for a 27, which does hit you.
[00:29:01] Speaker E: Because I'm prone.
[00:29:02] Speaker B: It hits me for 17 more points of damage.
[00:29:06] Speaker E: All right, now I'm starting to feel it.
[00:29:08] Speaker B: How you doing? Um.
[00:29:11] Speaker E: Um, I'm. Ouch.
[00:29:14] Speaker A: I'm. Ouch.
[00:29:18] Speaker B: Knife. Sword. It is your turn.
[00:29:21] Speaker D: That's. That's fair.
[00:29:23] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:29:28] Speaker F: No, I can't do it.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: Yes. Don't do tentacles down here, please. There's just no room.
[00:29:35] Speaker F: I was just gonna. Gravity well. Just watch, everybody.
[00:29:40] Speaker D: We're down here, too.
[00:29:44] Speaker E: I mean, I don't know if the. I don't know if the prisoners would go anywhere because they're all.
[00:29:47] Speaker A: They would get yanked, though, to the end of their chains.
[00:29:51] Speaker E: Yeah, we.
[00:29:52] Speaker D: We watched something recently about a person getting sucked through a. Anyway, please finish that sentence because. No, it's not pleasant. Basically. Go ahead, honey. You're better explaining than I am.
[00:30:06] Speaker A: Yeah, I was just gonna say it was a true story, a tragic true story about an aircraft incident where the window blew out next to somebody.
[00:30:14] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:30:15] Speaker A: They were forced through a very small opening very quickly.
[00:30:19] Speaker F: Were you watching air disasters on Paramount plus?
[00:30:21] Speaker A: No, I was not.
[00:30:22] Speaker F: Anyway, I'm casting enervation on the dwarf next to me.
[00:30:28] Speaker B: Enervation in a semi pirate voice?
[00:30:32] Speaker A: Well, we're on a ship. We all get affected differently.
[00:30:35] Speaker F: So you need to do a.
Oh, never mind. No, no, no, no.
[00:30:40] Speaker B: Isn't that a line effect?
[00:30:42] Speaker F: Yeah, I thought it was a beam. Like, I thought I was just hitting the one guy next to you, but apparently I'd go all the way across the ship and hit the people, too, so. Yeah, that's not what I want to do. I'm sorry.
[00:30:51] Speaker B: That's okay. I appreciate you thinking about these, you know, poor, poor, poor trapped people.
[00:31:01] Speaker F: Hmm.
[00:31:02] Speaker A: Just punch them.
[00:31:04] Speaker F: Wait, you mean physically attack somebody?
[00:31:10] Speaker E: Well, I'm doing it.
[00:31:11] Speaker F: Is that possible? Yeah.
[00:31:12] Speaker A: Sir, I was gonna do it.
[00:31:13] Speaker F: Can you do that?
[00:31:16] Speaker A: I do it all the time.
[00:31:17] Speaker F: With my hands?
[00:31:18] Speaker A: Yes. With your casty bits?
Yeah. You. Yeah, the wiggly parts. They cast magic. You can just jam them into people, too.
[00:31:27] Speaker F: People don't like it when I pull out my casty bits anyway.
[00:31:29] Speaker A: Do what you're gonna do.
[00:31:30] Speaker F: They get all upset when I pull my casty bits out. Um, I guess I could try.
[00:31:36] Speaker E: I guess we just learned something about knife sword somatic components.
[00:31:43] Speaker F: All right, I'm gonna use one action knife.
[00:31:46] Speaker E: Solid cast by thrusting.
[00:31:47] Speaker B: Oh yeah.
[00:31:48] Speaker F: To draw my plus one striking silver dagger.
[00:31:52] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:31:53] Speaker F: And I don't even know where the attack button is if you go to strikes.
[00:32:00] Speaker B: Yeah, it's the one that's not the unarmed strike because you only have one weapon.
[00:32:05] Speaker F: Okay, here we go. This is weird. It feels unnatural.
[00:32:09] Speaker A: Get him. Sorry, boy.
[00:32:10] Speaker F: Did it do anything?
[00:32:12] Speaker B: Did it roll natural 20.
[00:32:14] Speaker F: Okay.
[00:32:14] Speaker B: For a 37, that is a critical success. Go ahead and draw the crit hit.
[00:32:21] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:32:22] Speaker A: All right, draw one of them there crit cards. Crit hit cards even.
[00:32:25] Speaker F: Okay, I'm gonna see, I'm just gonna like. You know, I don't know if I want draw the one from top, the.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: One from the middle gusher, double damage. And the target takes one d six. Persistent bleed.
[00:32:36] Speaker A: Sounds good.
[00:32:37] Speaker B: Let's do double damage.
[00:32:39] Speaker A: And then when he's done adjudicating that, I would like to make a reaction.
[00:32:42] Speaker D: Hell yeah.
[00:32:43] Speaker F: And I'm gonna stab him again for my third action.
[00:32:46] Speaker A: Well, you have to do the damage 1st.
[00:32:48] Speaker F: 14.
[00:32:49] Speaker B: Yep, 14 points of damage as you stab the scarlet and you Nick, like the artery in his leg and he starts bleeding twin talon. I. You're gonna reactive murder, I believe.
[00:33:02] Speaker A: Yes, I like to use reactive murder. Okay, that is a 35 to hit his flat footed ac.
[00:33:07] Speaker B: Flat footed. 35 will crit.
[00:33:10] Speaker A: Okey doke. Keep those crits coming. Lodged in the bone. Double damage. Target takes one d six. Persistent bleed damage, which is exactly what nice words did, I'm pretty sure.
[00:33:22] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:33:23] Speaker A: So since mine is a crit effect, rather than being just what the crit does, I'm going to take the sword crit effect and just make him flat footed to everybody.
Thanks. And then I would like to do some damage.
[00:33:37] Speaker B: I mean, if you, if you must.
[00:33:39] Speaker A: I must.
So that's 50 damage.
[00:33:45] Speaker E: God damn.
[00:33:47] Speaker A: And I would like to use debilitating strike on him to make all of my further attacks do an extra two d six damage. If he survives.
[00:33:53] Speaker B: He's still alive.
[00:33:55] Speaker A: Right, but who has to go and.
[00:33:57] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's true.
[00:33:58] Speaker A: Who's to say knife, sword.
[00:33:59] Speaker B: You get your last action.
[00:34:01] Speaker F: Oh, I'm assuming that's the second button there.
[00:34:04] Speaker B: Yep. For plus 13.
[00:34:06] Speaker F: Not so good.
[00:34:09] Speaker B: 16 will miss. Next up is.
[00:34:13] Speaker C: Ooh, is there still a gnome troll? Goblin? Dwarf.
[00:34:22] Speaker B: Dwarf.
[00:34:23] Speaker C: Yes, that's the word. Is he still to the southeast? If maybe.
[00:34:27] Speaker A: Southwest?
[00:34:27] Speaker C: Southwest, southwest, southwest, yes. Okay, I would like to attack the dwarf to the southwest of me and will say. All right, let's go. And she attacks. No. Strike with her fists.
[00:34:44] Speaker E: Glory.
[00:34:44] Speaker B: Handwraps of mighty blows. Yes.
[00:34:47] Speaker E: Just gonna say her fists appearing.
[00:34:49] Speaker B: So this dwarf is flat footed to you because he did strike you. That's a 36 on the die or total? Not on the die, but that is a critical hit.
[00:34:59] Speaker A: This guy's just getting crit after crit after critical.
[00:35:02] Speaker E: All right, all right.
[00:35:06] Speaker C: All right, all right, all right.
[00:35:08] Speaker B: Let's go.
[00:35:09] Speaker D: I feel kind of bad. Not gonna lie just a little bit.
[00:35:12] Speaker E: I'm at one third of my health. I don't feel bad at all.
[00:35:18] Speaker C: The target is stupefied. Three until healed. It's called skull crush.
[00:35:22] Speaker B: So you punch him in the head.
[00:35:29] Speaker C: Punch him stupid.
[00:35:31] Speaker B: And you did double damage. And you rolled 16, so that's 32 points of damage. This guy who is still standing somehow. And you gain temporary hit points equal to your constitution modifier. So you get three temporary hit points.
[00:35:52] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:35:53] Speaker C: All right, I'm gonna go for strike two.
[00:35:55] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:35:57] Speaker C: Let's go, baby.
[00:36:01] Speaker B: 38 will critically hit again.
[00:36:07] Speaker C: I'm so excited.
[00:36:08] Speaker A: It's actually less than that, but it's still probably a crit. It's minus four.
[00:36:12] Speaker B: Minus four. Okay, so 34 is still a critical.
[00:36:19] Speaker C: Fists. Oh, steel, people. Fists. Oh, steel.
[00:36:21] Speaker D: Hell yeah, girl.
[00:36:23] Speaker C: Do I do another crit head card?
[00:36:24] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:36:25] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, maybe.
[00:36:28] Speaker C: All right, this is called box the ears.
[00:36:31] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:36:31] Speaker C: The target is deafened until you.
[00:36:33] Speaker B: Okay, so I just want to point out, you punch him in the head, and then you punch him in the ear, like, this poor guy.
[00:36:43] Speaker D: Insult, injury sort of thing. Yeah.
[00:36:45] Speaker B: For 28 more points of damage, would you like to describe how you kill this guy?
[00:36:53] Speaker C: I take him. I take my fists of fury, and I just take him. And I punch him so hard in both ears that his skull just bursts open.
And I smile as it rains down on my face.
[00:37:10] Speaker D: I'm imagining, like, flashdance, but not like Carrie.
Yes, but there's joy in it other than abject horror.
[00:37:21] Speaker E: Okay, so brain matter.
[00:37:28] Speaker B: Okay, he's dead.
[00:37:32] Speaker D: Well, then that's one way of handling it. How. How do you feel? Ooh, relieved.
[00:37:38] Speaker C: Like I just had an orchestra.
[00:37:43] Speaker D: I'm glad it was good for you.
[00:37:46] Speaker B: I suppose a hero point for all that damage you just did. Yes, girl, the description. So now you're at.
[00:37:54] Speaker C: Thanks.
[00:37:55] Speaker B: You're at two. Two hero points. You have one more action left.
[00:37:59] Speaker A: So we're just gonna leave the fact that she feels relieved after an orgasm. Like, relieved is what I associate with, like, things being done. Like, oh, finally, it's done. Like, that's the feeling.
[00:38:08] Speaker E: Not, like set. Like I would have assumed, like, you know, like satisfaction.
[00:38:12] Speaker A: No, just believe it's done.
[00:38:14] Speaker B: No. Relief.
[00:38:16] Speaker E: Relief.
[00:38:20] Speaker D: There you go.
[00:38:22] Speaker A: Finally.
[00:38:24] Speaker B: And your third action.
[00:38:30] Speaker C: Um, I guess I will stride up to the one next to the north of me.
[00:38:36] Speaker B: All right, you take a step towards the one that is puking as there are pustules on him that have been sliced and popped. He's oozing green. And now it is Brianna's turn.
[00:38:49] Speaker D: All right, Brianna's gonna look around and not be sure what to do. It looks like my dear friend Saraya is being pinned over there. And I know, ooh. Will probably handle this dwarf rather nicely. So I'm gonna be a little bit reckless perhaps, and dap. And then I will flank with Saraya, try and catch this dwarf's attention off of her so I can maybe heal her at some point. This coming round.
[00:39:16] Speaker B: All right, well, he's flat footed too now.
[00:39:18] Speaker D: All right, that is my friend you are trying to. How's he? 31.
[00:39:23] Speaker B: That is a regular hit. Oh, thank God.
[00:39:28] Speaker D: All right, take 21 points of damage.
[00:39:31] Speaker B: All right, you're next. I'll get you.
[00:39:35] Speaker D: And for my last action.
[00:39:37] Speaker B: Hmm.
[00:39:38] Speaker D: Let's do it again. Why not?
How's it? 33.
[00:39:42] Speaker B: That's a critical hit.
[00:39:43] Speaker C: Ha ha.
[00:39:45] Speaker D: All righty, let's get a this cat out.
Oh, no, I've gotten this one before. It's called disembowel triple damage. So I'm just gonna roll regular damage.
[00:40:02] Speaker B: Yeah. And I'll triple it.
[00:40:04] Speaker D: We'll triple it. So 14 times three.
[00:40:08] Speaker A: It's 42.
[00:40:10] Speaker B: He's still alive.
Very unhappy.
[00:40:13] Speaker E: He's still alive, but he's barely breathing.
[00:40:15] Speaker D: Well, that was my, that was my turn.
[00:40:18] Speaker B: Now it's twin Talon's turn.
[00:40:19] Speaker A: All righty. Right, so twin Talon is going to kind of shake off his excitement a little bit here. And twin Talon is going to try to unlock the manacles that he got last time. Finish them off.
[00:40:33] Speaker B: All right, so go ahead.
[00:40:35] Speaker A: 27.
[00:40:36] Speaker B: That is a single success. But they are not unlocked yet.
[00:40:41] Speaker A: I'll do it again.
[00:40:42] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:40:42] Speaker A: 32.
[00:40:43] Speaker B: That is enough to unlock one of the captives.
[00:40:47] Speaker A: Okay. So then he will take his third action to move up next to Brianna. He'll step up to the dwarf there.
[00:40:57] Speaker D: Hey, bestie.
[00:40:58] Speaker A: And he'll say to the ladies, like, feel free to hit him.
[00:41:03] Speaker B: All right, I'm the sick dwarf that is looking at. Ooh. And is going to try and flail. Ooh. Ooh.
[00:41:12] Speaker A: That's her name.
[00:41:13] Speaker B: Critical hit. Rolls a 35. Critical damage. Unfortunately, these are not named. I rolled a two and a one for my damage. So total after doubling it is only 26. But now he is flat footed to. Ooh. Because. Because. Come and get me.
[00:41:31] Speaker A: So is come and get me just like a stance she's in like from then on. Is that what that works?
[00:41:35] Speaker B: It lasts for until her rage ends.
[00:41:38] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:41:39] Speaker B: And not to mention Oo has had temporary hit points added every time she's been hitting, so. Plus her raging temporary hit points, so she's actually not really taking real damage. Well, now she's taking real damage.
[00:41:51] Speaker A: Yeah. But a lot less than she would have.
[00:41:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Just very frustrating.
[00:41:55] Speaker C: I'm a boss ass bitch.
[00:41:56] Speaker B: So going to try and trip you, because if you're prone, that means you have to stand up.
Alright, so we're going to make an athletics check against your reflex DC.
[00:42:13] Speaker C: I have a question for you. Can I use kip up?
[00:42:15] Speaker B: In this instance, if you get knocked down, you can kip up again.
So I rolled a total of a 14. And what is your reflex DC? So your reflex bonus?
Plus 1029. So that's a critical failure on my half. So that means I lose my balance and fall prone.
Oh, you know, I expected so much more from these characters.
[00:42:44] Speaker A: Not sure why.
[00:42:45] Speaker D: Do you hear that, guys?
[00:42:48] Speaker B: And for his last action, he's going to stand up. That is it for me, Saraya.
[00:42:55] Speaker E: So this guy in front of me is pissing me off now.
[00:42:58] Speaker B: And you're prone, and I'm prone.
[00:43:01] Speaker E: What's the penalty from striking whole prone?
[00:43:04] Speaker B: You're flat foot intake. A minus two attack penalties.
[00:43:09] Speaker E: Okay.
Okay. Actually that is reflected in my stuff. Cool. Awesome. Automation is amazing.
I'm gonna do a quick knowledge check on these guys. Recall knowledge.
[00:43:26] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:43:27] Speaker E: What would that be?
[00:43:28] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:43:30] Speaker E: Look, if I can ask you a question, I can ask what their fortitude save is and whether or not it's worth trying to keep listening.
[00:43:35] Speaker B: That's fair. That's fair. It's either suspect, it's society.
That is exactly enough.
[00:43:46] Speaker E: What are their saves?
Fortitude. If you can only give me one.
[00:43:50] Speaker B: No, I can. I'll give you all three. Fortitude is a plus 18 reflexes. A plus twelve. Will is a plus 15.
[00:43:59] Speaker E: Okay, cool. So, yeah, I'm not gonna do the poisoning. Dwarves are very fortitudinous. I don't know if that's a word or not.
[00:44:09] Speaker B: Yeah, works.
[00:44:12] Speaker E: But I am just gonna. Basically.
[00:44:15] Speaker B: Sorry.
[00:44:15] Speaker E: He's gonna like roll over and just like smash a bomb at this guy's feet.
[00:44:19] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:44:22] Speaker E: I don't know if they have resistance. Poison but we're gonna. We're gonna hope not.
She just slams this out the guy. Speed. It's a 31, which I believe is a hit.
[00:44:31] Speaker B: That is a hit.
[00:44:33] Speaker E: Cool, cool.
Alrighty, so it does two d, six poison, plus two splash. Plus two d, four persistent.
So that is 13 poison damage off the bat.
[00:44:45] Speaker B: Okay, and poison at the end of this turn.
[00:44:49] Speaker E: Yes. The persistent at the end of this turn.
Yeah, she's gonna do it one more time with frost vial.
[00:44:58] Speaker B: That is a critical miss.
[00:45:01] Speaker E: I'm gonna hero point that.
All right, I have one that I have not used.
[00:45:07] Speaker D: Let's try that one more time.
[00:45:11] Speaker B: 27 will hit.
[00:45:14] Speaker E: Cool. So that's two d, six, plus two cold, plus slow 10ft. Not that I think it'll matter. Sure. He's gonna die next time.
[00:45:21] Speaker B: Anybody gets to go for five more points of damage. All right, did I really go one or two? It is his turn and he is going to see the proned character, that person that he's been punching. So he's going to his flail at Saraya and critically hit with a total of 37 for every crit we've hit.
[00:45:49] Speaker E: The other dwarfs with. This guy's hitting me with a crit.
[00:45:53] Speaker B: Max damage.
[00:45:57] Speaker E: I am dying.
[00:45:58] Speaker B: 144 points of damage.
[00:46:03] Speaker E: Yeah, I have 40 hit points.
I am dying one.
[00:46:07] Speaker B: No dying one.
[00:46:10] Speaker E: Somewhere a raven just starts screaming obscenities and expletives.
[00:46:16] Speaker D: I'm coming.
[00:46:19] Speaker B: Oh, no, she's not.
[00:46:25] Speaker E: Jasper is still screaming at this guy and ineffectively harrying him.
I didn't officially give him actions. He's just flavored, like swooping him.
[00:46:34] Speaker B: This creature is going to turn around and swing at the less armored of the two people.
So twin Talon swings at twin Talon, and I hit with a 32 for 20 points of damage.
[00:46:50] Speaker D: Goodness. I feel like it should have helped Saraya, perhaps retroactively, but. Yeah. I don't know. It was. It was dark.
[00:46:58] Speaker E: She's unconscious. It's all right.
[00:47:00] Speaker D: Okay, then I will help you then.
[00:47:03] Speaker A: So I have a. What is it? Plus level plus something.
[00:47:08] Speaker B: Two you all damage against two plus for level.
[00:47:12] Speaker A: So that's 1212 hit points back, please.
[00:47:16] Speaker B: All right, I'm doing it.
Look, grudgingly.
[00:47:22] Speaker D: Mm hmm.
[00:47:23] Speaker B: And then you may take some steps if you'd like.
[00:47:27] Speaker A: Um, sure. Twin town won't make one step to the west.
[00:47:34] Speaker B: You can stand on an unconscious person by the Lord.
[00:47:38] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Then I'll stand on Saraya.
I'm gonna protecting Saraya by standing over her body.
[00:47:45] Speaker E: Are you guarding my body?
[00:47:47] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:47:49] Speaker B: And then we're gonna take one fatal swing at Brianna.
[00:47:56] Speaker A: That's where you should use your third attack against the person with the highest ac.
[00:48:00] Speaker D: Bring it.
[00:48:01] Speaker B: I miss. Regular miss. 22.
[00:48:03] Speaker D: Haha.
[00:48:04] Speaker B: All right, knife sword, it is your turn. Oh, hang on. I take some poison damage from Saraya.
[00:48:12] Speaker E: Two d four.
[00:48:13] Speaker B: So that's three points of damage and I managed to recover from it. Now it is knife swords turn.
[00:48:21] Speaker F: Oh boy, that was fun. Gonna run over to the next guy and stab him.
[00:48:26] Speaker D: Good luck.
[00:48:27] Speaker B: What have you done?
[00:48:30] Speaker E: Oh.
[00:48:31] Speaker B: 27 will hit for Max damage. Eight points of damage.
[00:48:37] Speaker E: That's amazing.
[00:48:39] Speaker B: Stabby stabby, stabby stab.
[00:48:41] Speaker A: If knife sword is stabbing him, I would like to use reactive murderous.
[00:48:47] Speaker B: Okay, nice. Sort of. You can keep that second roll. Okay, but go ahead and reactive murder.
[00:48:53] Speaker A: Oh, you fucking give me natural one. No, I'm using my 2nd. 2nd hero point.
[00:48:58] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:49:01] Speaker A: And a second natural one. What the fuck?
[00:49:04] Speaker B: What?
[00:49:05] Speaker D: Come on.
[00:49:08] Speaker B: So please draw your critical miscard.
[00:49:11] Speaker A: Overextend. You trigger reactions as if you had used a move. Action.
[00:49:15] Speaker B: Okay, I will use my reaction and I'm. It's called bully push.
[00:49:23] Speaker A: How's it work?
[00:49:24] Speaker B: Um, I attempt to shove and the.
[00:49:28] Speaker A: Trigger is if I move.
[00:49:31] Speaker B: Oh, as if you would move. No, it has to. Oh. But no, if you miss with a melee strike.
[00:49:35] Speaker A: Oh, is the reaction okay? I guess we haven't missed with melee strikes yet. Okay.
[00:49:41] Speaker B: No, not really.
So I need to make an athletics versus your fortitude DC.
[00:49:51] Speaker A: Athletics 28 versus fortitude DC.
[00:49:56] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:49:57] Speaker A: Right. Fortitude save is a 19, so 29 would be your target. So just missed it.
[00:50:02] Speaker B: Just missed it. All right. So you are not shoved. All right. Knife sword, you hit with a 28 and deal five more points of damage to him. All right. Ooh. It is your turn.
[00:50:16] Speaker C: I go for round two. All this fight is making me so excited. Again.
[00:50:21] Speaker B: Okay.
Oh boy.
So I swing critical miss.
Would you like to use a hero point?
[00:50:32] Speaker E: Yes, please.
[00:50:34] Speaker B: All right, roll again.
[00:50:35] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:50:36] Speaker A: How? This battle has turns.
[00:50:38] Speaker B: Yeah, the turns have tided.
[00:50:40] Speaker D: Mm hmm.
[00:50:41] Speaker C: No tiding turns, please.
[00:50:43] Speaker B: Okay, so go ahead and make a strike at your highest attack bonus. Again. 29 will hit twelve points of damage as you punch right into a pustule.
Nice.
[00:51:02] Speaker C: Yeah, gross. People do gross things.
Let's go.
I'm gonna fight him again. Going for the uppercut this time.
[00:51:13] Speaker B: That's a critical hit, so go for that crit hit card first.
[00:51:20] Speaker C: This is called roundhouse. Make one additional attack against a foe adjacent to the original target using the same attack modifier as the original attack.
[00:51:28] Speaker B: Well, unfortunately, there is not another victim nearby, but it is double damage, and I believe that's pronounced roundhouse, not up.
[00:51:41] Speaker C: Let's do this.
[00:51:42] Speaker B: 32 points of damage.
[00:51:47] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
[00:51:49] Speaker C: Fists. Oh, steel.
[00:51:50] Speaker B: Still standing.
[00:51:52] Speaker C: Shall we go for a third time?
[00:51:53] Speaker B: Why not?
[00:51:54] Speaker C: Let's tank a tank with rice.
[00:51:58] Speaker B: Ooh. Critical. Miss, you have one last hero point if you'd like to use it.
[00:52:05] Speaker E: Yes, please.
[00:52:06] Speaker B: All right, 28 will hit.
Oh.
Regular damage.
For another 13 points of damage.
He's still standing.
Somehow your temporary hit points click on to you.
Brianna, it is your turn.
[00:52:33] Speaker D: Okay. All right.
[00:52:35] Speaker B: Pick up that reaction that you used.
[00:52:38] Speaker D: Thank you. Thank you kindly.
Um, I am flanking with correct friends.
[00:52:46] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely.
[00:52:49] Speaker D: And this wolf doesn't look terribly good, dwarf.
[00:52:52] Speaker B: No, this dwarf does not look evil. You see cup, you. Yeah. You see a couple knife stab wounds in his stomach from knife sword, because they're about the same size. Twin talons messed it up. You see some blood bruises forming around their face from where Saraya punched them.
[00:53:11] Speaker A: As much as I would like to take credit, I have not hit this person yet. I rolled two natural ones to attack them.
[00:53:18] Speaker B: You did a flourish.
[00:53:20] Speaker E: Ah, you were threatening them with capoeira.
[00:53:23] Speaker A: Yeah, there you go. Dance. Dance so hard.
[00:53:28] Speaker D: All right, well, then she's gonna try and slash at this dwarf with her skimmetar.
[00:53:34] Speaker B: Oh, natural. What the hell?
[00:53:37] Speaker D: Have a hero point.
[00:53:38] Speaker A: You do.
[00:53:40] Speaker D: Take it.
[00:53:45] Speaker A: Can we at least pretend I'm gming this one so I get better rolls? Is that a thing we can do?
[00:53:51] Speaker D: Oh.
39.
[00:53:55] Speaker B: How's a regular crit? Just a single crit.
[00:54:00] Speaker A: A critical hit. It's a critical hit.
[00:54:03] Speaker B: It's a critical hit. Yeah.
[00:54:04] Speaker A: All right.
[00:54:05] Speaker B: I'm just a himbo.
[00:54:08] Speaker D: So it is an excuse now. Got it?
[00:54:10] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:54:12] Speaker D: Long gash, normal damage, crit effect. The target takes one d. Four. Persistent bleed damage. The DC of the flat, check to remove this bleed damage is five higher than normal.
[00:54:24] Speaker B: Ac. 20.
[00:54:28] Speaker D: Fine.
[00:54:29] Speaker A: 24.
[00:54:31] Speaker D: Really?
[00:54:32] Speaker B: Yeah. It takes one d. Four.
[00:54:33] Speaker A: It's a d four.
[00:54:34] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:54:34] Speaker E: Sorry, sorry.
[00:54:34] Speaker B: No worries.
[00:54:36] Speaker D: All right, all right, let me do my normal damage.
16 points of damage.
[00:54:42] Speaker B: Would you like to describe? Oh, no, he's still up. He's still up. I'm sorry.
[00:54:48] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah.
All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna hit again for a 35.
[00:54:55] Speaker B: Another crit.
[00:54:57] Speaker D: All right, all right, here we go.
[00:55:00] Speaker A: I feel like this is gonna be triple damage because she only needs, like, two hit points.
[00:55:05] Speaker D: No shattered jaw until healed. The target is wounded. One. And can't speak, eat, or make attacks with its jaws.
[00:55:14] Speaker B: All right, how much damage?
[00:55:16] Speaker D: I'm guessing it's critical damage.
[00:55:17] Speaker A: Double damage. Yeah.
[00:55:20] Speaker D: 32.
[00:55:21] Speaker B: So you swing your scimitar at him. You nick his neck the first time and you see that you got his jugular. As he's bleeding out, starting to bleed out, you spin around again and twin Talon has to duck as a dwarven head splatters against the back wall as you decapitate this creature, trying to break his jaw, but you broke his whole head free and he is dead.
[00:55:47] Speaker D: It's my brand.
For my last action, I would like to move towards Saraya so the next time I can begin healing.
[00:55:55] Speaker E: Okay, thank you.
[00:55:57] Speaker D: Of course.
[00:55:59] Speaker B: All right, next up is twin Talon.
[00:56:03] Speaker A: All right, I, Twintallen is going to move across the hold here to the east, stepping over the body of the dwarf that just fell down.
And Worfman.
[00:56:19] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:56:21] Speaker D: Oh, no.
[00:56:22] Speaker A: Aha. And, and he's going to go over to the dwarf that. Ooh, is just pummeling. Let's see if we can take care of business here. Finish them off. Are they 33?
[00:56:37] Speaker B: That is a critical hit.
[00:56:39] Speaker A: Okay.
Forearm piercing. The target drops one weapon it's holding, chosen randomly by the GM only holding a flail.
[00:56:47] Speaker B: So it drops the flail.
And how much damage do you do?
[00:56:53] Speaker A: 40 damage.
[00:56:57] Speaker B: Describe your murder or kill.
[00:57:01] Speaker A: He pierces the dwarfs forearm to his heart.
Just pins it to his chest and then he pulls the short sword free.
The dwarf collapses.
[00:57:14] Speaker B: And with that combat is overdeveloped noise.
[00:57:25] Speaker C: That was invigorating.
[00:57:28] Speaker A: Uh huh.
And twins Hallon will start going to unshackle prisoners.
[00:57:35] Speaker D: Brianna will be sure to bring up her friend and make sure she's up to fighting spirits.
[00:57:46] Speaker A: I mean, I think you slow your, your focus point too. If you wanted to use the lay on hands first as like one action and then do three ones.
[00:57:54] Speaker D: What I was gonna say.
[00:57:55] Speaker A: Yeah. Great minds.
So 30. Just a straight up 30 cures with lay on hands. Nice.
[00:58:03] Speaker B: All right.
Nope.
[00:58:07] Speaker D: How are you looking then? Sorreya.
Oh, thank you.
Of course.
Still hurting. Okay, just give me a minute. Let me pull out my, my suitoring kit and the like and I will continue working on you.
[00:58:22] Speaker E: Thank you.
[00:58:22] Speaker A: While I whip this half.
[00:58:27] Speaker B: Step, stab step.
No, let's, let's, let's deal with the rest of this fallout next.
[00:58:35] Speaker A: Why?
[00:58:37] Speaker D: I literally just got my tutoring key.
[00:58:40] Speaker A: Check it out.
[00:58:41] Speaker C: It's alright. I needed a cigarette anyway.
[00:58:45] Speaker B: Thank you for listening to the Crack Die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape. Because Epic Games deserve Epic music. Please visit
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