[00:00:39] Speaker A: Hello, hello, hello and welcome to the 96th episode of the Crack Die podcast. I'm your host and GM, Sean and we are back with another episode and I am super excited about everything going on.
So quick round of plugs and then I will get you to the table.
Number one, and most importantly, September 11, 2021. Come join us at Twitch TV.
Cracked die. One word for our next episode of Absalom. In order, we start at 01:00 and we go to four. We are having so much fun in that game. We're almost to the club, and if you've watched the show, you know what club I mean. I am so excited about it. Please join us. 01:00 Eastern standard time, twitch TV crack die. Join us for Absalom and order where maybe we'll find out what has happened to those missing people.
Number two, we have a new merch store.
That's right, you can get Chibi crack dye merch, you can get classic logo merch, you can get our new logo merch. All of our merch is available to buy with a portion of it coming back to us. So head on over to cracked die Dot redbubble.com and pick up some swag. My personal favorite item right now is all ten penguin facts from our Absalom and order show with an adorable penguin right there as a fridge magnet. My personal favorite item? I've ordered one. I can't wait to get it. Check us out again at crackdye dot redbubble.com. and if there is something you sorely want as a piece of merch, or if there's a character or something that we don't have on there that you want, let us know. We'll move our heaven and earth to make it for you so you can get it. Let us know what you want to see as merch and we will add it to the store next. Matt mentioned it a little bit last week, but we are about to unleash on the world a $10 Patreon tier. Yes, that $10 tier is coming very, very soon. So go on, head on over to patreon.com cracked Die podcast again, all one word and join our Patreon. At the five dollar level, you get access to the most aggressively welcoming community I have ever been a part of. And I will put our community up against any other community for being super welcoming. So head on over there at the five dollar tier, you get access to our discord server, you get thanks. And most importantly, you can give us a critical hit or critical missed card and we will add it to the deck and throw that chaos at our characters. Now, you may ask why. We're going to add a ten dollar tier, and it's quite simple. We're trying to be able to afford an editor for the show. Getting ourselves an editor will free myself and Matt and the rest of the crew up to do more things, provide more content, and make that tier worth it. As always, we want to thank the patrons for their generosity to help us produce the show.
Bippy tree. Thank you so much, and welcome aboard.
Margaret Torello. Thank you.
Chris Simmons. Thank you so much. Jason. Thank you.
Thomas. Thank you so much. Duke. Celine.
Thank you. Shaka. Thank you very much. David Reyes. Thank you. Jeremy. Thank you. Anwar. I thank you.
Doombeard. Oh, I'm sorry. Doom beard.
Was that better? I got a request to sing him. Cassandra. Thank you. Mike. Thank you. And Jacob, thank you again. Thank you to all of our patrons for their generosity and their support.
All right, you know what I'm going to say. Ramble too long, preventing you from the goodness that is our game. I'm gonna kick it over to me at the table. Welcome to the 96th episode of the Cracked Die podcast.
[00:05:40] Speaker B: What is happening?
[00:05:42] Speaker C: I don't even know.
[00:05:46] Speaker D: A lot.
[00:05:47] Speaker A: We have a new cast member, everyone.
[00:05:49] Speaker B: I heard that.
[00:05:52] Speaker E: Hola, Brad.
[00:05:53] Speaker F: Hello.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: Not you, Rob. You're old news.
[00:05:56] Speaker E: Now they've traded you out for a shiny new model.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: You're not the middle child. Suck it.
[00:06:05] Speaker D: I am a middle child. That hurts.
[00:06:09] Speaker A: That hurt. Too close to home for Christine, anyway. Hi.
Let's welcome our new cast member, Heidi.
[00:06:18] Speaker D: Hi, Heidi.
[00:06:20] Speaker A: Hello.
[00:06:22] Speaker E: I'm so excited.
[00:06:23] Speaker A: Welcome aboard the chaos.
[00:06:25] Speaker C: I love chaos.
[00:06:26] Speaker E: It's gonna be great.
[00:06:27] Speaker D: We don't know why you decided to join, but we're happy you did.
[00:06:30] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:06:30] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:06:31] Speaker E: And I'm glad to be here.
[00:06:32] Speaker C: We are very thankful for you.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: Great. So a couple very important questions. We said your name, but if you want to introduce yourself to our lovely listening audience.
[00:06:42] Speaker E: Sure. Hey, everyone. My name is Heidi. It's nice to be here.
[00:06:47] Speaker A: Excellent. And what are your pronouns that we should use for you?
[00:06:51] Speaker E: She.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: Her.
[00:06:52] Speaker E: And my character is also she her.
[00:06:54] Speaker A: Great. Just want to make sure we address everyone properly. We'll get to know your character a little bit more later, but we're just really excited to have you. I have someone else to interrupt now.
[00:07:06] Speaker C: No.
[00:07:07] Speaker D: It's like what Matt said was foreshadowing.
[00:07:10] Speaker B: That's not. I wasn't serious.
[00:07:14] Speaker A: I'm sorry you had to sit through almost an entire recording session without really doing much. But I did enjoy the fact that you just raged and ran out and started punching things and negotiated from a point of weakness. I appreciated that.
[00:07:28] Speaker D: I thoroughly enjoyed that. Like, hello, can I help you? What do you want?
[00:07:32] Speaker A: I also forgot. I forgot to mention that this whole world runs on a silver based economy. Oh, so you were basically demanding, like, $5,000?
[00:07:42] Speaker C: I mean, why not?
[00:07:45] Speaker E: I'm not a cheap lady. I'll let you know right now.
[00:07:49] Speaker A: Anyways.
Yeah. So, welcome aboard. Let's jump back into the game.
Last time you guys managed to deal with the three baby cruth, mommy cruth, and daddy Cruth, they all had porridge. Sorry.
No, no. I was getting confused between our game and my recent rereading of Goldilocks and the three crews.
[00:08:17] Speaker D: I don't think Goldilocks makes it out of that one.
[00:08:20] Speaker A: No. No, she does not. Anyway, Saraya stumbled into a storage room, saved a green skinned lady who was tied up. The green skinned lady got really angry, charged out, decided to try and fight these things. However, knife, sword and twin Talon defeated them.
[00:08:43] Speaker C: Excuse me, I punctured an eyeball and a brain. Okay.
[00:08:47] Speaker A: No, I'm sorry. Yes, yes. Brianna actually, like, has shish kabob on the end of her returning javelin, which we also discussed how awesome that is.
[00:08:57] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:08:58] Speaker A: And with that, let us go into exploration mode in this game. Christine, what is Soraya doing in the next ten minutes?
[00:09:09] Speaker D: The first thing she's doing is chugging my higher level elixir of life.
[00:09:13] Speaker A: Okay, so she heals.
[00:09:15] Speaker D: That's five d, six plus twelve, which I believe is 36 points.
[00:09:20] Speaker A: Yes, 36 points.
[00:09:22] Speaker D: So I'm no longer, like, super dying. And I think she's gonna come out and try and talk to our new buddy, our little half work friend. Little is probably the wrong descriptor.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: Yes, that would be correct.
Hiya. What is Brianna doing? In the next ten minutes, Brianna is.
[00:09:42] Speaker C: Going to take a leaf out of a flight attendants book. Whereas they're going to put their own mask on before helping others and treat her own wounds. And then go about and do the same for her party members who may or may not be in trouble.
[00:09:56] Speaker A: All right. Although.
[00:09:57] Speaker C: Hang on. Tasani is still bleeding like she's in trouble, correct?
[00:10:02] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:10:02] Speaker A: That is correct.
[00:10:03] Speaker C: Okay. Is anybody else still bleeding? That I can tell.
[00:10:07] Speaker A: No. Chasani is spouting blood from her sides where you see a tooth still embedded.
[00:10:15] Speaker C: Okay, well, I feel like she would have recognized that. And she will immediately go and try and soothe tasani, with twintons permission, and staunch the blood.
[00:10:25] Speaker A: All right, Matt, what is. What's twin Talon doing.
[00:10:31] Speaker B: Twin Talon will try to assist Brianna. He's very concerned with the hollow tooth currently stuck in Thesani. Just acting like a funnel, getting all of her blood out. No good can come with that.
[00:10:41] Speaker A: Okay, Rob, what is knife sword doing?
[00:10:44] Speaker F: He's feeling quite peckish and he's going to search all these crates and barrels.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: And stuff for anything you're going to crate and barrel. Got it. And Heidi, what are you doing in these next ten minutes or so?
[00:10:59] Speaker E: I'm gonna look around because I am apparently missing some of my stuff. So I'm gonna look around for my stuff.
[00:11:07] Speaker A: All right. And, Saraya, what are you actually saying to this half war?
[00:11:11] Speaker D: I mean, are you all right? I know you were tied up and is there anything we can do to help you?
[00:11:16] Speaker E: Yes, you can help me. You see, I'm looking for my sword and I seem to have this place.
[00:11:22] Speaker D: All right, wonderful. I will help her look for her stuff. So I guess I will also make.
[00:11:30] Speaker A: All right.
As you are talking to this half orc who is starting to look around for stuff, you can treat yourself or you can treat knife sword with a DC 26 to remove the tooth. Brianna, I think Saraya is dealing with herself. Brianna is working up with Tasani. And Matt, you said you were assisting?
[00:11:51] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm gonna try to aid.
[00:11:52] Speaker A: Okay, so, Matt, go ahead and roll a medicine check first. DC 20.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: All right, so I got 30, I think. So that.
[00:12:00] Speaker A: So that is a critical success on the aid. Another action do anything, or is it.
[00:12:06] Speaker B: Just a plus one like normal?
[00:12:07] Speaker A: I'm going to look critical success. You grant your ally a plus two circumstances stance bonus to the triggering check.
[00:12:15] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: Are you a master with the attempted.
[00:12:18] Speaker B: I'm trained.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: Okay, so if you were a master, it would be a three and a legendary. You would be plus four. So, Brianna, you may make your check with a plus two on top of whatever else you have.
[00:12:31] Speaker C: 23 total. I don't think it makes it.
[00:12:34] Speaker A: That is not enough. But you all have a hero point.
[00:12:36] Speaker C: Sure, I'll give you my hero point.
[00:12:38] Speaker A: All right. Taking the hero point.
[00:12:40] Speaker C: Fuck me. Actually, no, that works with a plus 27.
[00:12:44] Speaker A: Yep. So you managed to safely remove the tooth from Tasani. So now you may heal the actual wound.
[00:12:52] Speaker C: And is that a DC 15 like it is battled medicine?
[00:12:56] Speaker A: 15. At your level, you can attempt a 20 for more healing.
[00:13:00] Speaker C: All right, well, we'll see what happens, I guess.
[00:13:03] Speaker B: All right, I would like to aid again.
[00:13:06] Speaker A: Okay, you may.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: That's a 30, which is a crit, which gives you plus 228 plus two is 30, which is actually a crit on your healer's check.
[00:13:13] Speaker A: Yes. So it's four d eight healing. Saraya, go ahead and make your check to remove the tooth.
[00:13:19] Speaker D: Jasper has manual dexterity and a plus ten to medicine. Can he assist me?
[00:13:23] Speaker A: Yes. So roll his assist.
[00:13:27] Speaker D: He's got a 50 50 shot of helping out, but he does not. He only rolled a 14.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: That's okay. So now you may make your check to try and get the tooth out. It is a DC 26.
[00:13:39] Speaker D: I have a slightly better 50 50 shot of doing it myself. I just hit it. 26 exactly.
[00:13:44] Speaker C: Good job.
[00:13:44] Speaker A: All right. You managed to safely remove the tooth.
Takes about ten minutes of work to do. Haya, how much did you heal Tasani for?
[00:13:54] Speaker C: I'm guessing it's still two d eight plus ten. Since we critically.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: Since you critically succeeded, it is four d eight plus ten.
[00:14:02] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:14:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
Nice.
[00:14:06] Speaker C: Susanna gets 27 points of healing.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:14:11] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:14:12] Speaker B: Nuzzle your hands.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: Knife, sword. As you're looking around in the crates and whatnot, since you are so peckish, you find.
As soon as I find the right page.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: Find some cupcakes, which are disgusting, but you find some slugs, which are delicious.
[00:14:37] Speaker A: You find a pile of fishing gear. In the center of the room, you find a crude map of the town marked with likely paths. A fire would spread from the boathouse. A large metal jug filled with red and orange liquid, and they start chugging it.
[00:15:02] Speaker C: Oh, boy.
[00:15:03] Speaker A: Okay, Saraya, give me a perception check real quick.
[00:15:08] Speaker D: Yeah, I was afraid of that.
[00:15:10] Speaker B: Is he a baby? Like, he's experienced in the world through.
Okay.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: 24, you pass. You recognize this as a large metal jug of alchemist fire.
[00:15:27] Speaker D: Nice word. That's not for drinking.
[00:15:30] Speaker F: What?
[00:15:31] Speaker D: No. I'm gonna send Jasper over to, like, freak him out and make him drop it.
[00:15:36] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:15:38] Speaker F: Get your own birdhouse.
[00:15:40] Speaker D: That's going to hurt you. It's fire.
[00:15:42] Speaker F: It's mine.
[00:15:44] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:15:46] Speaker D: Do you keep drinking it even though she tells you? Like it's one of the things that she throws that explodes?
[00:15:51] Speaker F: I keep drinking it because she tells me not to do it.
[00:15:53] Speaker A: Oh, no. Okay, um.
Well, hang on a second.
[00:16:00] Speaker D: Jasper's gonna wrestle you for it at that point.
[00:16:02] Speaker A: Well, hang on, hang on. Give me a second. Everyone navigating a bunch of things right here. So, Heidi, you open a barrel and in it, you do find your sword.
[00:16:19] Speaker E: Sweet.
[00:16:21] Speaker A: And I've equipped it for you, so it should be back into your attacks.
All right? Knife, sword. Oops. You are taking.
[00:16:33] Speaker D: It's greater. It's at least two d eight. You're taking even better than that.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: Twelve points of fire damage.
[00:16:42] Speaker D: Warned you.
[00:16:45] Speaker A: Your insides are on fire as there is persistent fire damage boiling in your stomach.
[00:16:57] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:16:57] Speaker D: Mm hmm.
[00:17:01] Speaker C: I can't imagine.
[00:17:02] Speaker B: Jalapeno whiskey.
[00:17:04] Speaker F: I kind of misjudged.
[00:17:07] Speaker A: Really?
[00:17:08] Speaker F: Robert really, really featured that I thought would get me out of this, but it doesn't.
[00:17:13] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:17:18] Speaker C: I missed.
[00:17:22] Speaker A: Is it the goblin trait?
[00:17:24] Speaker F: Yep.
[00:17:30] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't think that.
[00:17:35] Speaker D: Is it, like, an ironic type thing?
[00:17:38] Speaker A: Kind of. Yeah.
Yeah. No, that doesn't. That doesn't help. But your insides are on fire.
[00:17:45] Speaker F: Oh, that's spicy.
[00:17:47] Speaker D: I told you not to drink that. Give that to me.
[00:17:50] Speaker F: I was gonna put it in a flask for later.
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:17:53] Speaker D: Jasper is harrying you this whole time?
He just croaks out. Just. No, Jasper just croaks out, like, point it down.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: Order down.
[00:18:04] Speaker D: He can talk. It's one of the abilities he has today.
[00:18:07] Speaker C: I didn't know that.
[00:18:08] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. That's how we turned into the two and off a couple episodes ago.
[00:18:12] Speaker C: Oh, that's right.
[00:18:13] Speaker D: It's all the same day.
[00:18:14] Speaker A: There's also a wooden box that you find. Knife, sword.
[00:18:19] Speaker E: Mm hmm.
[00:18:20] Speaker F: I'm gonna look in the wooden box.
[00:18:21] Speaker D: Do you listen to Jasper?
[00:18:23] Speaker F: Well, first I'm gonna try to, like, barter with him and, like, take. Take the picture. Shove the map in his direction.
[00:18:30] Speaker A: Put it down.
[00:18:32] Speaker D: He lands on your head.
Reaches out a little, like, weirdly dexterous bird claw.
[00:18:43] Speaker A: Point it down.
[00:18:44] Speaker D: E right here.
[00:18:47] Speaker F: I'm gonna use my mage hand to tap him on the shoulder to confuse him.
[00:18:50] Speaker D: Oh, I have telekinetic projectile. He's used to this.
[00:18:55] Speaker F: I'm just gonna run around like. Like my hair's on fire.
[00:18:58] Speaker A: Get off, get off, get off.
[00:19:00] Speaker E: Watching the shenanigannery, and she just starts walking away.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Okay, that's fine.
[00:19:04] Speaker D: You walk.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: You walk out and you see a bald headed man helping a very armored woman deal with a pterodactyl.
[00:19:16] Speaker C: Brianna not recognizing who this is and now being incredibly jumpy as she's finishing tening to Tasani, will look up and have a hand at her scimitar and be like, hello, it.
Can we help you?
[00:19:34] Speaker E: Are you with them? Are you with them? Because they are having a moment in there and they need some help.
[00:19:40] Speaker C: Ah.
What. What kind of moment?
[00:19:43] Speaker E: A fiery moment. I don't know, man. They. They're in there, and they're having a moment.
[00:19:48] Speaker C: Oh, dear. Twin Talon. Do you think you can take it from here with the sunny?
[00:19:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
[00:19:54] Speaker C: Of course. Well, then excuse me? And then she'll make her way over, and I'll let you guys do you.
[00:20:02] Speaker B: Taysani's gonna watch her leave and hop behind her.
[00:20:09] Speaker C: Oh, is she following me now?
[00:20:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:11] Speaker C: Cause she can relate me syndrome.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: My dog likes you better.
[00:20:19] Speaker C: Oh, no. I'm sorry, honey.
[00:20:28] Speaker B: So what.
What are you doing here?
[00:20:32] Speaker E: Well, all right, all right. So here's my story. I was just off my boat, just trying to have a good time. You got the shore leave going on, so you go and get your lips wet at a. What's those called? Tavern. Right? I was just. I was trying to have a good time, and all of a sudden, these marauders start coming in. So I'm like, all right, this is some foreplay, because I'm, like, ready to get my free throne, you know? And these guys start coming in, and they, you know, they start ransacking the whole bar. And I'm like, all right, well, you know, for play. You know, I'll play. So I'm getting in there, and I take them all out. It's fine. Everything's good. And then all of a sudden, ten more come. You wouldn't believe. Ten more come. I was so mad. I raged, and then they. And then I got knocked out. I thought it was just foreplay, I swear. And then I woke up here.
[00:21:20] Speaker B: Oh, all right.
There's definitely something with ten men coming in foreplay. But I'm just gonna leave that.
So what ship are you from? Where's your boat?
[00:21:37] Speaker E: You know, it's the funniest thing. I don't even know what boats I get on. They just look at me. You know, the captain comes off the boat. I just am on the pier, and they just come at me, and they just. Like you. We want you because I am strong. I'm a fighter and I'm strong. And they just. They just come off the boat. They say, I want you, and then I get on the boat, and I go marauder for them. But then some dumb. Some dumb idiot come and marauder me. You're not part of them, are you?
You tell Marco I will take this exchange. You're not here for foreplay, are you? Because I will take this exchange because they were not my time.
[00:22:11] Speaker B: No, we're here.
I'm sorry. This is very distracting.
So you're a pirate? A freelance.
[00:22:22] Speaker E: Got any money?
That information is for sale.
[00:22:27] Speaker B: Well, see, the way that commerce works is things are only worth what someone's willing to pay for.
[00:22:33] Speaker E: How many you got?
[00:22:35] Speaker B: None. Let's say none.
[00:22:40] Speaker E: All right, well, if you ain't got any money. Then I'm leaving. She starts walking off.
[00:22:45] Speaker B: Okay, have fun.
[00:22:48] Speaker D: Further commotion from inside.
[00:22:51] Speaker A: Yes, there is a. A loud explosion from inside as we, um, as we cut inside. Brianna, this is what you see. You see knife sword running around, fleeing, holding a metal, a large metal canister with Jasper and Saraya also trying to chase him around.
[00:23:14] Speaker D: Oh, no. Saraya is watching Jasper chase him and like, staunching the bleeding in her neck.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Okay, you notice that there is a wooden box on the ground.
It is half open and as you look in there, you see that there are 40 tinder twigs in there.
[00:23:33] Speaker C: Okay.
I feel like Jasper and our dear friend knife sword are a little bit distracting. Really?
I will look instead to Sarah and be like, what is happening? I heard something about trouble and fire.
[00:23:52] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:23:52] Speaker D: Sword's trying to drink one of my cantrips. Well, I didn't make it. He found it, but Jasper's trying to get it back and I'm trying not to bleed.
[00:24:01] Speaker C: Okay, um, so you said that he is trying to drink it, not that he has already drank it?
[00:24:07] Speaker D: No, I think he's already chugged about half of it.
Okay, burn it down, burn it down.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: Give it here.
[00:24:15] Speaker F: Mine.
[00:24:16] Speaker A: Get away.
[00:24:17] Speaker F: Get, get, get.
[00:24:18] Speaker D: A knife sword. You can't even effectively use them.
[00:24:21] Speaker C: Rianna will shake her head seeing that knife sword is played by, I'm guessing, adrenaline and he'll be okay for a little bit longer while she tends to Surreya and will attempt to tend to her bleeding for the moment.
[00:24:38] Speaker D: So I did. I did get the tooth out and I took the elixir of life. Would that stop the bleeding or does it still.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: Uh, give me. How much did you heal for the elixir of life?
[00:24:46] Speaker D: 36.
[00:24:50] Speaker A: You need to heal the holy.
[00:24:53] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, no, that's not gonna do it.
[00:24:55] Speaker C: Okay, then I will see what I can do.
How's a 31 for that's a critical success. So 48 plus ten take 30 points of healing back.
[00:25:09] Speaker D: That's still not full, but it's getting there.
[00:25:12] Speaker C: I was just gonna ask if she had to. You said that she had to heal to full to stop the bleed?
[00:25:16] Speaker A: Yes.
All right, well, let's just say, let's just do this because I think over the next hour or so, you're all going. You're all gonna heal up to full.
Knife sword is going to wind up keeping the the flask of fire for now.
[00:25:39] Speaker F: Okay. I wanted to try one.
[00:25:41] Speaker A: Okay, go ahead, please.
[00:25:43] Speaker F: I'm gonna run out the door and. Hey, hey, hey. Green lady, green lady. I'll give you six silver pieces if you keep this bird away from me.
[00:25:53] Speaker E: Six silver pieces.
Yeah, I'm all right. That sounds fun. Let's do it.
[00:25:57] Speaker D: I'll give.
I'll give you a full gold if you get the potion from him.
[00:26:03] Speaker E: A full gold.
[00:26:05] Speaker F: I'll give you two gold if you don't.
[00:26:07] Speaker E: Y'all got three gold. Three. I'm hearing three.
[00:26:10] Speaker D: Five gold.
[00:26:12] Speaker E: You've got it, baby. I'm on it.
She runs sold. Then she runs after. Knife, sword.
[00:26:20] Speaker A: Oh, jeez.
So after a few minutes of, like, trying to catch a greased goblin, you managed to wrestle the contents of the flask out of knife, swords hands, much to his chagrin.
But you do manage to get it.
And you guys take the time to heal up, kind of hiding in. Not hiding, but holding up for safety in this.
In the boathouse, in the storage room.
Because as you are, like, taking the time to heal and everything like that, you notice that there are patrols kind of patrolling the city, and they do seem to be very, like, a large patrol number.
Every now and then, you hear a screech from the sky. Twintalon, can you make me a nature check, please?
[00:27:26] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Would a 21 60 not.
I will actually make it.
[00:27:32] Speaker A: Actually. Hang on. I just said that because I wanted it to sound harder than it is. Let me double check of what it actually was. Actually is.
[00:27:42] Speaker C: Wow. Okay.
[00:27:44] Speaker A: Sorry. That was a little premature on my.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: I forgot I leveled up. 22.
[00:27:51] Speaker A: Okay, so, yes, 22 wood would. Would be enough.
Or. Sorry. It's not nature. It's Arcana.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: Oh, okay. I mean, I would have to roll, but my. Yeah, my roll is actually better for Arcana.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Yeah, go ahead and roll for Arcana.
[00:28:06] Speaker C: Interesting.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: Also, knife, sword, roll.
[00:28:10] Speaker B: Arcana 26.
[00:28:13] Speaker D: If I'm a master, can I roll for it as well?
[00:28:16] Speaker F: 22.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Saraya, you would probably. Yeah, actually, serray. Everyone who wants to roll Arcana.
I'm sorry. I don't know why I was making this.
[00:28:25] Speaker D: So 28 with an eight on the die.
[00:28:28] Speaker C: All right, I'll do it for giggles. Cause I don't have a plus anything. 16. Lol.
[00:28:33] Speaker A: All right, so, everyone, Heidi, did you roll?
[00:28:38] Speaker E: No, I'm not gonna roll.
[00:28:39] Speaker A: Okay, cool. So everyone but Heidi, as you are all doing this like Keystone cops, you know, Benny Hill running around trying to figure all this out. You all stop because you hear a screech from in the distance, and you all recognize that as slightly draconic sound because you rolled so well with the 28. You recognize it as the sound of a flame. Drake, my girl.
[00:29:12] Speaker E: She screams out, what the hell is that?
[00:29:15] Speaker C: I have no idea.
[00:29:16] Speaker B: Sounds like a dragon of some type.
[00:29:18] Speaker D: Of that in my nightmares.
No, that sounds like a Drake.
[00:29:24] Speaker E: A flake. I can fight that.
[00:29:27] Speaker D: A Drake? A flame Drake? It's a smaller kind of dragon. Not as formidable, but still quite terrifying.
[00:29:35] Speaker C: I do think a flaming Drake would be called a flake, but that's just me.
[00:29:40] Speaker F: It's basically an uber bird, minus the feathers.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: Plus we can call it for a ride if we're drunk. Is that what it is?
[00:29:48] Speaker D: So I'm going to assume that if they don't. If they. The box of Tinder twigs doesn't work out, the drake is back up.
So once we're all back in fighting order, I think we might have to go to the smokehouse.
[00:30:03] Speaker C: To where?
[00:30:04] Speaker D: Where they're holding all the hostages.
[00:30:07] Speaker B: I thought we were gonna. So I thought the plan was hit here first, then hit the ship so they can't escape, and then circle back.
[00:30:16] Speaker D: Do this, then either take the tinder twigs or dump them in the water. So it will take longer for them to potentially set everything on fire while.
[00:30:23] Speaker C: We deal with the escape boat for waste not. Brianna will take them, okay? Put them in her pack.
[00:30:31] Speaker B: The funny thing about Tinner twigs is they're basically just matches. So I love the idea that there is a crate with 40 matches in it. So, like, three match books or something. And that's their plan, like, well, that's the alchemist fire file.
[00:30:45] Speaker A: That knife sword, drink sword is drinking.
[00:30:50] Speaker D: Sorry. Is just like.
Why would you do that?
[00:30:54] Speaker A: Uh, knife sword or rob, more likely than knife sword. Uh, just so you know. Actually, it doesn't matter. You have it. Um, I'll, uh. I'll put it into your.
Into your inventory. And if.
[00:31:10] Speaker D: Well, if it's already done the damage. Does he still have it?
[00:31:13] Speaker A: Well, he. So it let you. It basically gives you two of them. So he drank one, but he still has the other one, and I'll just put it into his inventory.
[00:31:25] Speaker F: No, I don't, though, because the half goblin.
[00:31:28] Speaker A: Oh, that's.
[00:31:29] Speaker F: Tackled me and took it.
[00:31:30] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. So, I mean, if you two also.
[00:31:32] Speaker D: Want to work out a deal, like, if. Rob, if you really want it that bad, I'm not going to shake it from you.
[00:31:37] Speaker B: But did you call her a half goblin?
[00:31:41] Speaker D: Yeah. No, you didn't.
[00:31:43] Speaker A: No. You called her a half goblin.
[00:31:46] Speaker D: Did we ever get her name?
[00:31:48] Speaker E: Nope.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: No. That's why I haven't said it.
[00:31:51] Speaker D: That's why I haven't asked her. I have asked her at least three times what her name is.
[00:31:56] Speaker F: Yeah, she's not a half goblin.
[00:31:59] Speaker B: Wait, you can't. You can't say I called her a half orc. Also, she is an half goblin. Like, yes, I can.
[00:32:07] Speaker F: It's called the miracle of editing.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:32:11] Speaker B: How do you think that works?
[00:32:12] Speaker F: Yeah, you just make it sound like you want to.
[00:32:17] Speaker C: Cool. Guess who's going to be on the editing team now?
[00:32:22] Speaker F: I don't have hardware for that, so.
[00:32:25] Speaker D: If you do end up giving me the other alchemist fire, I will ask your name when I'm handing over the gold.
[00:32:32] Speaker E: I it's in my possession.
[00:32:34] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:35] Speaker E: Sweet. She opens it up, and she smells it.
[00:32:37] Speaker D: Do not drink that. That's why we.
[00:32:40] Speaker C: She said she smelled it.
[00:32:41] Speaker E: Smelled it? I smelled it. You can't yell at me. I'm just smelling it.
[00:32:45] Speaker A: Um, have you ever drink, drink, drink, drink. It smells like.
Like the spiciest wing sauce you have ever smelled, alchemist.
[00:32:57] Speaker D: I'm absolutely sure alchemist fire does not smell like capsaicin. Probably smells like ozone.
[00:33:03] Speaker B: I thought it was like kerosene.
[00:33:05] Speaker D: That, too.
[00:33:06] Speaker E: All right.
[00:33:07] Speaker B: Like, pungent.
[00:33:08] Speaker E: I I think I'm just gonna hang on to it. I don't know these people just yet, and they. They haven't paid me. I haven't received any money from them, so I'm just gonna hang on to this for a little while, okay?
[00:33:18] Speaker D: I'll give you the gold when you hand it to me.
[00:33:20] Speaker E: Let me see the gold first. It's mine, George.
[00:33:23] Speaker D: She pulls out five gold from her pocket.
[00:33:25] Speaker E: Ten. Gold.
[00:33:26] Speaker D: Five is what we agreed on.
[00:33:27] Speaker E: Ten, or I'd drink it.
[00:33:29] Speaker D: It's going to hurt you more than me if you drink it.
[00:33:31] Speaker A: Mmm.
[00:33:32] Speaker E: Ten.
[00:33:32] Speaker D: Fine. Go ahead, drink it. Take, you know, burn your insides, quite literally. I'm going to tell you. That is liquid fire bortick. I have gold.
[00:33:41] Speaker F: Gold, more like.
[00:33:43] Speaker E: Hey, little man, you want this?
[00:33:44] Speaker A: Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no.
[00:33:50] Speaker D: I give up. Fine.
Let him drink it. Let him melt himself from the inside out again. That's fine.
[00:33:57] Speaker A: Oh, knife sword, this is gonna be a really bad night when you go to pass this.
[00:34:04] Speaker D: Burns going in and coming out.
[00:34:05] Speaker B: Oh, coming out of both holes.
[00:34:09] Speaker C: I'm sorry.
[00:34:10] Speaker A: How is he?
[00:34:10] Speaker C: Not dead.
[00:34:12] Speaker B: Hit points.
[00:34:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Hit points.
[00:34:14] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:34:15] Speaker F: Jasper, you're just gonna see a flash of light off in the trees.
[00:34:19] Speaker A: And then knife sword lands in front of the fire pit again.
[00:34:23] Speaker D: At the end of the day, Heidi, Jasper lands on your wrist with another gold coin in his beak, and, like, drops it on your arm, and just, please.
[00:34:34] Speaker E: Aw, damn. I toss it to knife sword.
[00:34:38] Speaker D: Jasper takes the gold coin back and flies away.
[00:34:42] Speaker A: All right, so after all of this negotiations, where are you all headed off to? And Heidi? Are you joining them, or am I writing a new adventure where you go off?
[00:34:57] Speaker E: Well, still no one's asking my name yet, so.
[00:34:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. No, no, no. To be fair, Saraya asked you when she was trying to get the stuff.
[00:35:05] Speaker D: Oh, I have asked you, like, three times.
[00:35:09] Speaker E: Go ahead, ask me again. Ask me again.
[00:35:11] Speaker D: What is your name?
[00:35:13] Speaker E: It's ooh. It's short for Aug.
But you can call me ooh.
[00:35:18] Speaker C: Checks out.
[00:35:19] Speaker E: I like that name.
[00:35:20] Speaker F: Can you spell that?
[00:35:21] Speaker D: All right.
[00:35:21] Speaker E: Ooh. Ooh, oo, oo. Yeah. All right.
[00:35:26] Speaker C: Well, I think what she's saying, she cannot quit, but anyway.
[00:35:30] Speaker D: Well.
[00:35:30] Speaker A: Ooh.
[00:35:30] Speaker F: Is that a letter?
[00:35:32] Speaker D: We.
We plan on freeing the others that they have likely bound and tied like you. And if you would like to help others the way we've helped you, we would not be opposed.
[00:35:45] Speaker E: Hey, I saw them. People's getting taken. Yeah, some of them might be my friends. Let's go. Mm hmm. How much you gonna pay me?
[00:35:53] Speaker B: Nothing. We're not paying you anything.
[00:35:55] Speaker C: It's for your own free will of helping your friends. If you do not want to help us, you're more than welcome to go on your way. But I would hope that having a party of how many are we? I cannot count at this point. I'm exhausted from healing you.
[00:36:10] Speaker F: I have an idea.
[00:36:11] Speaker B: Oh, good.
[00:36:13] Speaker F: What about you take 20% cut of future.
[00:36:17] Speaker C: Goodbye. Goodbye.
Brianna's just gonna go.
[00:36:22] Speaker F: It's fair.
Bye.
[00:36:24] Speaker C: Bye.
[00:36:25] Speaker F: What?
[00:36:26] Speaker C: I'm gonna go find these people.
[00:36:28] Speaker E: I go up to the goblin, and I put them on my shoulder. I'm like, I'mma keep you close. You see, my friend?
[00:36:32] Speaker F: You got a backpack.
[00:36:35] Speaker E: Do I?
[00:36:36] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah, you do. All right.
[00:36:38] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:36:39] Speaker F: I gotta pull out my string that I use as a tape measure.
[00:36:45] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:36:47] Speaker A: It's about the same size as Brianna's.
[00:36:51] Speaker F: I'll have to think about it.
[00:36:52] Speaker A: Okay.
All right. So where are you all headed to? Are you headed to the boat that might have people, or the smoke house that might have people?
[00:37:04] Speaker B: The previous plan was to come here first to stop the town from burning down, hit the ship to cut off their means of escape, and then circle back to the smokehouse, where we think the leaders are being held. So that is what twin talons, twin talent has found. No reason to change the plan.
[00:37:21] Speaker A: All right, so, everyone, please give me a stealth roll.
So, Christine, what did you get?
[00:37:33] Speaker D: 31 for Saraya.
[00:37:35] Speaker A: Great.
[00:37:35] Speaker C: Brianna, 29.
[00:37:38] Speaker A: Ooh.
[00:37:40] Speaker E: 22.
[00:37:42] Speaker A: Twintalon, 35. And knife, sword, 24. Okay, so you all managed to make it to the.
The dock where the boat is without being detected by any passing patrols.
You are on a quay, which, if you don't know what that is, that is perfectly fine, because I didn't know what a quay was.
[00:38:13] Speaker C: Do you mean a key?
[00:38:14] Speaker A: Q u a y.
[00:38:16] Speaker C: That is pronounced key, I believe.
[00:38:18] Speaker A: Key.
Thank you.
[00:38:21] Speaker C: Hold on.
[00:38:24] Speaker F: Yes, there goes my joke.
[00:38:25] Speaker B: That is correct.
[00:38:26] Speaker A: Neat. It is a concrete, stone or metal platform lying alongside or projecting into the water for a long for loading and unloading of ships. Didn't know that. I obviously didn't know how to pronounce it either, but it is a key. You are on a key.
[00:38:43] Speaker E: A key?
[00:38:44] Speaker A: A key.
[00:38:44] Speaker B: Synonyms for a key are dock, float, jetty, landing, levy, pier, way, quai and worf.
[00:38:54] Speaker A: Ah, so you're on the Star Trek Enterprise.
Starship Enterprise with wharf.
[00:39:02] Speaker B: We're sitting on the key of the bay.
[00:39:05] Speaker D: Of the bay.
[00:39:07] Speaker B: But it's.
[00:39:08] Speaker C: I give up.
[00:39:08] Speaker A: Anyway, this key has several posts for tie boats. An overturned boat, stacked crates and crab traps obscure much of the quay, much of the key from view. So you should all see what you see. You do see three of those medium sized boars that you dealt with earlier.
[00:39:37] Speaker B: Okay, these are blood bore. Is that what they are?
[00:39:40] Speaker A: Yes, they are.
And you see a bunch of sailors on the boat looking over at you.
[00:39:52] Speaker B: Oh, so they see us, like, immediately.
[00:39:55] Speaker C: Okay, Brianna will wave.
[00:39:57] Speaker A: They snarl at you.
[00:40:00] Speaker B: The sailors, or the Brianna will flush your boobies.
[00:40:02] Speaker C: Oh, sorry.
[00:40:02] Speaker A: What?
[00:40:03] Speaker B: Sorry, that sounds more interesting than what I was going to say.
[00:40:05] Speaker D: Oh, so Talon flashes his boobies.
[00:40:09] Speaker B: I mean, yes, if it'll get us on the boat.
[00:40:11] Speaker E: Well, if we're flashing boobies, I just.
[00:40:14] Speaker B: Figured yours were out.
[00:40:15] Speaker D: So Ray is like, maybe an acup. I don't know how much that's gonna help.
[00:40:19] Speaker B: Um, so.
So who is snarling, the sailors or the boars?
[00:40:24] Speaker A: The boars are definitely snarling and looking like they're about to attack you.
[00:40:31] Speaker B: Okay. I mean, twin Talon is going to attempt to calm them down.
[00:40:35] Speaker A: All right?
You would need to get a little closer to them.
[00:40:41] Speaker B: Okay, that's fine.
I'm just letting you know that is. That is my plan because we're not in combat yet, so.
[00:40:47] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:40:47] Speaker C: See, for Brianna to flash her boobies at a take way too long because you'd have to, like, take plate mail off and. Yes.
[00:40:56] Speaker A: 6Th ever.
[00:40:57] Speaker D: You mean you don't have just, like, a little hinge on a quick release to just, like, flop down?
[00:41:03] Speaker C: That's an excellent idea. Next time we pass by our forge, I will absolutely have a little quick release.
[00:41:12] Speaker B: I've got one of my pants.
[00:41:14] Speaker D: Did you just say I have that with my pants?
[00:41:17] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called a zipper.
[00:41:22] Speaker A: Okay. Christine, what is Saraya doing?
[00:41:25] Speaker D: Um, she may be attempting to work out a plan with Jasper because he can turn into an elf still.
And to see if they can maybe work out some kind of deception to be like, orders from the top. You have to go join them somewhere.
[00:41:42] Speaker A: Okay.
Uh, hiya. What is Brianna doing now that she can't quick release her movies, man?
[00:41:52] Speaker C: She will likely not be where she was originally placed when we moved to this map, which is, again, for whatever reason, in the back.
[00:42:01] Speaker B: Yeah. I liked the orientation. It was you, me and Heidi in the back. And the squishies. The two squishies in the front.
[00:42:09] Speaker C: Sean's trying to tell us something.
[00:42:10] Speaker F: Well, it makes sense. You can see up. Your guys are tall, so you can see over our heads and see what's going on. So everyone can see I'm a medium sized area.
[00:42:17] Speaker B: Might be the tallest person, probably.
[00:42:19] Speaker D: Yeah. It's maybe not now an ooh.
[00:42:21] Speaker F: But like, look, you all look tall from my perspective. I can't.
[00:42:25] Speaker C: That's fair.
[00:42:26] Speaker B: Elves are typically very tall, I think in Pathfinder.
[00:42:28] Speaker D: I think so. But I have a feeling the half orc is still taller.
[00:42:32] Speaker C: Right. I feel like in order of height I would put maybe, ooh first, then twin talon, then very, very close behind Saraya. And then I think I originally had Brianna as like a shorter, kind of stocky, stockier build. So she's sitting like at a 5453.
[00:42:52] Speaker B: Yeah, twin town.
[00:42:53] Speaker C: And then.
[00:42:53] Speaker B: Yeah, 510. Like he's.
[00:42:55] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, no, Sarah's actually probably like very average. She's just very willowy.
[00:43:00] Speaker B: Yeah. His brother was six six or six eight. His brother was enormous. Twintellen is. Tontalan is.
[00:43:07] Speaker F: According to my character sheet, I am three half koalas tall.
[00:43:12] Speaker D: Three and a half or so.
[00:43:14] Speaker C: One and a half koalas is what you're trying to say.
[00:43:16] Speaker F: Three half koalas.
[00:43:18] Speaker C: Right. Which would be one and a half koalas.
[00:43:21] Speaker B: Not.
[00:43:21] Speaker F: Not to go if you were using metric. Yeah, I guess it would be one and a half.
[00:43:27] Speaker A: Okay, I'm gonna try and get this. This back on track here.
[00:43:32] Speaker B: Why would you start now?
[00:43:34] Speaker D: Yeah, so. So they're stealth. Check. Their perception checks are clearly, like, in the forties.
[00:43:40] Speaker A: Okay, hang on. Let's hang on a second. Alright. So. Saraya, what are you doing? You're making a plan with Jasper?
[00:43:47] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:43:48] Speaker A: Hiya. You have moved Brianna up next to twin Talon, who is trying to approach the boars.
Heidi, what is ooh doing?
[00:43:58] Speaker E: I guess I. Since knife sword is on my back in my backpack, I'm gonna say, are these things friendly? I'm confused. Are we fighting these things? Are we fucking these things? Because I'm not sure.
[00:44:13] Speaker F: Depends on the day.
[00:44:14] Speaker A: Twin Talon is moving up to try and make peace with the blood boars. And Rob, what are you doing with knife sword?
[00:44:21] Speaker F: I'm seeing if there's room for a jacuzzi in here.
[00:44:23] Speaker A: Gotcha. So Brianna, twin Talon, and Brianna, as you are moving up, approaching the blood bores one of these lovely bald headed ladies that you've seen so often.
You pick. She's. You see that she is hiding behind these barrels. And the two of you notice her. But the rest of the group doesn't seem to acknowledge that she's there.
She has a dagger in her hand and looks like she's about to throw it at Eve.
[00:45:07] Speaker C: All right, I see.
[00:45:09] Speaker B: So Twintown is kind of focused on the boars. And he was approaching with his hands kind of palms forward to the boars. And as he gets closer and he notices the bald headed woman, his left hand. His right hand stays where it is. And he keeps his focus on the boars. But he holds one finger up to his index finger up to the bald headed knifey lady in like a 1 second gesture, kind of to her as he's talking to the boars.
[00:45:38] Speaker A: Okay, we're gonna go into initiative now because things are gonna get cray Hubbard.
[00:45:50] Speaker D: Try my plan.
[00:45:51] Speaker A: Well, combat isn't actually starting quite this second. What I'm doing is putting everyone in initiative so we can take.
We can have an order on which to go.
[00:46:07] Speaker C: So Brianna rolled a 19 for initiative.
[00:46:11] Speaker F: All right, just a quick housekeeping question. When we rested, was that considered like a full rest? So are all the spells back as well?
[00:46:20] Speaker A: No, no, not a knight's rest.
[00:46:23] Speaker D: Soraya has a 19 as well. Hiya. Do you have a preference?
[00:46:28] Speaker C: I'd rather go first since I've spotted this person.
[00:46:31] Speaker A: I will put you at a 19.
Next up, Heidi. What did. Ooh, get?
[00:46:39] Speaker E: Who got 20?
[00:46:41] Speaker A: Yes, Matt.
[00:46:43] Speaker B: So in standard form, twin Talon has, by a wide margin, the largest initiative bonus. But I rolled a five, so I'm at a 28.
[00:46:56] Speaker A: Okay.
And Rob, what did knife sword get?
[00:47:02] Speaker F: Well, you know, as usual, knife sword has probably the lowest perception and got a 28.
[00:47:11] Speaker A: Matt, Rob, who's going first between the two?
[00:47:16] Speaker F: Triple toe.
[00:47:17] Speaker A: Triple toe.
[00:47:18] Speaker B: All right.
[00:47:19] Speaker A: Double dragon who?
[00:47:21] Speaker C: No idea.
[00:47:22] Speaker A: All right, so one of the blood boars will go first and move wrong way. Move towards Brianna and twin town.
And that's all it's gonna do on its action. It's gonna move up questioning.
[00:47:46] Speaker B: Okay, so it's not like charging or anything. It's just kind of.
[00:47:48] Speaker A: Nope.
[00:47:48] Speaker B: Plotting forward.
[00:47:50] Speaker A: Plotting forward.
[00:47:51] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:47:51] Speaker A: It is. It is aggressive, just so you know.
[00:47:54] Speaker B: Okay, I can work with that.
[00:47:57] Speaker A: Next up is the bald headed woman.
Who does have a name this time, guys.
[00:48:07] Speaker B: Baldi.
[00:48:08] Speaker A: Baldi.
[00:48:08] Speaker B: Baldinas.
[00:48:10] Speaker A: Baldinos.
[00:48:10] Speaker D: Melissa Edwards.
[00:48:12] Speaker A: Going to throw her dagger at. Ooh.
However, it is out of their first range increment, so that's minus two.
Ooh. A dagger from out of nowhere flies past you.
Second action is they will draw their rapier and they will. Will move for their third action.
All right. Knife. Sword. Sorry. Nope. Twin Talon, it is your turn.
[00:48:51] Speaker B: Okay. Twin Talon is going to try to improve the attitude of the board that's walked up to me.
[00:49:00] Speaker A: And what is that action called?
[00:49:05] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:49:07] Speaker F: Wham.
[00:49:08] Speaker B: I thought it was because it's not command an animal.
Do you have to have. Because I thought, like, um, animal empathy, which I don't have. I thought it allowed you use diplomacy instead of nature.
Yeah, but it's. It's just not a thing. Okay, whatever. I guess we got to fight these boys. Not.
I guess if they weren't hostile.
Well, hostile or unfriendly, it fails automatically. So I guess it's technically command and animals what I've been trying to do. But if, as long as they're just neutral, you can get them to do stuff for you, like just leave you alone.
But I guess if they're actively angry at you, not so much.
Whatever. Okay, so if that's the case, then twin Talon will draw his short sword because you said that they were hostile.
[00:50:04] Speaker A: I'm double checking that right now.
Yes, they are hostile.
[00:50:11] Speaker B: Okay, that's very disappointing. So Twintalon will draw his short sword as his first action, and he will attack the boar 35 versus its flat footed.
[00:50:26] Speaker D: Nice. Bacon's back on the menu.
[00:50:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, that's a. That's a critical hit.
[00:50:34] Speaker C: Good.
[00:50:35] Speaker B: Piercing infection, which is.
I don't know how useful this is gonna be, but the target must succeed at a fortitude save or contract filth fever.
So it's fort save 29 because it goes off my class DC.
[00:50:51] Speaker A: Okay, let's see how this poor piggy rolls.
19 critical.
[00:51:00] Speaker B: That's a critical fail.
[00:51:03] Speaker D: Does that mean the immediately advances the stage?
[00:51:07] Speaker B: Yes.
So stage two is sickened for one day.
[00:51:11] Speaker A: Goddess. Okay.
Second, which is going to drop all.
[00:51:19] Speaker B: Of its stats and I guess I should have washed this knife. Yeah, and then it's something from the cruise, probably.
[00:51:31] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:51:32] Speaker B: All right, so that's my sneak attack damage. That's a six there.
And then damage from that.
16 damage there. So 22. And twin Talon is going to use the debilitating strike ability to add two d six damage to all of my attacks against it.
And then I will attack again.
21 flat footed ac pies. A miss.
[00:51:58] Speaker A: 21. It's just a miss.
Oh, actually, hang on, hang on.
It is a hit because it's sickened.
[00:52:08] Speaker B: Okay. Also, I think all my. Okay, so 23 is a hit. So it does strike damage. Plus 46.
So 30 damage.
[00:52:20] Speaker A: Oh my goodness.
[00:52:23] Speaker B: All right, and then Taysani is going to fly up behind Briena and start squawking at the bald lady.
[00:52:35] Speaker A: Okay, so we are flanking Brianna. Thank you. I appreciate it.
[00:52:39] Speaker B: Not a problem.
Actually, it'll fly up. So it's next to the bald lady, but it's. Yeah, it's in between. It's putting. So Taysani is interposing herself between Briana and the bald lady and hissing at the bald lady.
[00:52:52] Speaker A: All right, sure you want to do that?
[00:52:54] Speaker F: Damn it.
[00:52:56] Speaker A: Knife. Sword.
[00:52:57] Speaker B: No one told me to do anything else.
[00:52:58] Speaker A: It is your turn.
[00:53:00] Speaker F: Crap.
Okay.
[00:53:07] Speaker B: I mean, the map extends off to the left even though we can't see it. It's just water.
[00:53:13] Speaker F: All right, I'm going to spend one round to stand up out of the backpack.
[00:53:19] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:53:20] Speaker F: Look at the bald lady and blow chunks on her.
[00:53:23] Speaker A: Oh, gross. So. Ooh, check that.
From right over your shoulder. A mess of seagull parts just vomit all over this lady.
[00:53:37] Speaker E: I start to. I start to gag a little bit.
[00:53:40] Speaker A: That's fair.
[00:53:42] Speaker F: Reflex save of 29.
[00:53:44] Speaker A: Reflex save 33. So I succeed.
[00:53:49] Speaker F: Wait.
Yeah, it's reflex. I'm sorry, I was. I was looking at the wrong spell.
[00:53:53] Speaker A: But it's still okay.
[00:53:57] Speaker F: Wait. Answer.
Basic reflex.
[00:54:02] Speaker A: Half damage.
[00:54:04] Speaker F: Yes.
No, wait.
The area. Biting and dealing. 2.8 piercing damage. Basic reflex. A feature that fails things. That also becomes sick.
[00:54:25] Speaker B: Yeah, take that, lady.
[00:54:31] Speaker F: I mean, you're probably totally grossed out by the. By the appearance.
[00:54:36] Speaker D: If she's used to like being on the sea, I don't know how much seagulls are really gonna.
[00:54:41] Speaker A: All right, next up is Ludboard dos, who just saw his friend get stabbed.
[00:54:50] Speaker B: You made me do that, chomp.
[00:54:51] Speaker A: I know. Well, I didn't. The book did.
It moves up and will attempt to bite twin talent for a 33.
[00:55:07] Speaker B: That is a hit.
[00:55:08] Speaker A: Alright, it will do 16 points of damage.
[00:55:14] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:55:15] Speaker A: And then it will try one more time to bite you.
[00:55:18] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:55:19] Speaker A: 24 will miss.
[00:55:21] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:55:21] Speaker A: All right. Ooh. Yes. Ooh. Ooh. It is your turn.
[00:55:27] Speaker E: Having just finished, been tied up for an extended period of time and feeling extra angry cause she did not get extra frisky. She is going to rage.
[00:55:38] Speaker C: Makes sense.
[00:55:39] Speaker A: Raged.
[00:55:40] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:55:40] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:55:41] Speaker E: She's gonna strike with her fists.
[00:55:44] Speaker A: All right, make that punch. 32 versus her AC will hit.
[00:55:52] Speaker E: Sweet.
[00:55:53] Speaker C: Good job.
[00:55:54] Speaker A: Her 15 points of regular damage and two points of fire damage.
[00:55:58] Speaker E: Sweet. I'm gonna strike again. All right, you done got the whole hog now.
[00:56:04] Speaker A: Your second strike will miss.
[00:56:07] Speaker E: He's still pretty angry.
[00:56:08] Speaker A: Would you like to use your hero point to reroll that second attack?
[00:56:11] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:56:12] Speaker A: All right, roll that second attack again. We'll use that hero point.
[00:56:16] Speaker E: Come on.
[00:56:17] Speaker A: Oh, it was a natural 20 there for a second. A 24 will still miss, but everyone sees her just rear back with that first punch and punch this bald lady square in the stomach and fire.
[00:56:31] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:56:32] Speaker A: Comes out of her hand.
[00:56:33] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:56:34] Speaker A: And next up is Brianna's turn. But I'm not going to interrupt her in the middle of her turn. So I'm going to say next week we're going to start with Brienne.
[00:56:43] Speaker C: So it's basically what you've done this entire time. And then you said you wouldn't do this book. You basically did it again, Sean.
[00:56:52] Speaker A: No, no, no. I said I wouldn't. I said I wouldn't interrupt you. I didn't interrupt you.
[00:56:56] Speaker C: I stopped to see how this is different, but okay, it is.
[00:57:00] Speaker A: It's. You didn't get like an action to start, so you have all three.
[00:57:04] Speaker D: Come on. Keep explaining her emotions to her.
[00:57:10] Speaker C: Keep digging that grave. Go on, keep going.
[00:57:12] Speaker A: See y'all next week. Bye bye.
[00:57:15] Speaker C: We'll see if Sean will be here next week as well.
[00:57:25] Speaker A: Thank you for listening to the Crack Die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape because Epic Games deserve Epic music. Please visit
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