The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 76 - Gold

Episode 51 April 22, 2021 01:06:39
The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 76 - Gold
The Cracked Die Podcast
The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 76 - Gold

Apr 22 2021 | 01:06:39


Show Notes

Game and Adventure Path by Paizo Publishing-
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Theme music by Angelo Di Loreto -
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Episode Transcript

[00:00:39] Speaker A: Hey listeners, it's Christine. I'm sure you know me by now as Saraya and Jasper on this the Crack Die podcast. Before we jump into the episode, we just want to give you guys some news, some updates on what's going on. If you cannot get enough crack dye in your life, you can always follow us on Twitch TV, Crackdie, where we run Absalom and order the agents of Edgewatch Adventure path. You'll get to see what Matt, our twin Talon, is like as a GM as he runs Haya Shaun and two new voices and faces through the agents of Edgewash adventure path. There it is every third Saturday at 01:00 p.m. our next episode is going up on May 8, so definitely tune in for that if you want to see some faces and see how we react to things like our terrible, terrible roles. We do also have, if you want to support us, a Patreon, which would be crowndead cracked die podcast. And we'd also like to thank our three new patrons. So we do have Celine, Duke, and a very special thank you going out to my dad, Tom, for supporting us on our Patreon. Now, we appreciate everything you guys do for us, and we really hope to keep putting out content. So if you want to see us, maybe fancy things up a little bit, get some more twitch shows going, maybe add another show. I don't know. We can talk to Sean. You can always head over there and subscribe to our patreon for some other fun, other fun extras, like access to our discord community and some fun little bloopers that we post there every now and then that we find when we're going through our editing process. All right, I've talked enough time to get back to the episode and see if we can finally get out of this. Keep happy listening. [00:02:25] Speaker B: Welcome to the 76th episode of the Cracked Die podcast, one where we all died. [00:02:33] Speaker C: We all got new hero points. [00:02:34] Speaker A: Yay. [00:02:36] Speaker D: Thank goodness for that. [00:02:37] Speaker B: I guess I'll give them out. Being the magnanimous GM that I am. [00:02:42] Speaker C: Doing the bare minimum. [00:02:44] Speaker A: Look, you are the one that said we were gonna play literally by the book this whole time. Come to find out after, like, 70 episodes. Oh, I'm supposed to be giving you guys more hero boys. [00:02:55] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. [00:02:57] Speaker E: So wait, can they get the rest of them retroactive? [00:03:00] Speaker B: Ooh, that's a really nice concept. [00:03:04] Speaker A: They'll take it under advisement and never think of it again. [00:03:06] Speaker B: Yeah. So you all have your hero points. You're good. You all have one that's all you need. [00:03:12] Speaker C: We have one or more hit points. We're good. [00:03:16] Speaker B: So when we last left, there was some daring do done. [00:03:21] Speaker C: Uh huh. For which I got no hero points, by the way. [00:03:24] Speaker B: There was demolition, destroying dastardly destruction everywhere. That's enough d words. So you guys, twin Talon came up with the concept of running in with the barrel that was going to be used to destroy the temple from earlier in this story. And you all comboed your triggering actions to set off the barrel, causing 50 points of damage, destroying more walls. The. The skeleton that's holding the roof up is now dangerously destroyed. [00:04:00] Speaker C: More d words. [00:04:01] Speaker B: More d words. And you manage to take out this gaunt faced person who was playing a guitar and they are bleeding out on the ground. [00:04:15] Speaker A: Good. [00:04:15] Speaker D: I mean. Oh no. [00:04:17] Speaker A: I feel like Brian is pretty convinced he's undead somehow. [00:04:20] Speaker B: I will let you know since there was a crit that caused him to drop. He is at dying too. [00:04:29] Speaker C: Cricket, cricket, cricket, cricket. [00:04:31] Speaker B: I'm just saying. I'm just letting everyone know he was. [00:04:36] Speaker C: Working with the bad guys. Right. [00:04:37] Speaker B: You know, you never really talked that much. [00:04:40] Speaker C: I mean, he wasn't fighting them, he was just strolling around, they're chanting and he's like, well, never talk about murder, so fuck him in the goat ass. If he's not fighting them, he's with them. That's all I'm saying. [00:04:51] Speaker A: Well, the funny thing is. So I just want to point out there that the name that was given to this character is coyote. And I've been watching that HBO documentary on heaven's gate where they were giving everybody new names that specifically were three letters and then ended in Ody. So six letters long. I don't know if Sean did this on purpose or not, but that may be a body snatcher, might be an alien from Heaven's gate. [00:05:15] Speaker B: I do love me some cult documentaries and cult history, so who knows? But speaking of goat asses, it's time for the Chimera to make its attack. And it's going to go horn twin Talon. [00:05:31] Speaker C: Really? Cause it was going to breathe fire on me last time we talked about this. [00:05:35] Speaker B: Yeah, it's been a week. You know, that's probably a better thing. I mean, it's nothing like Shawn knows. It's not because you can reflex out of it, but as far as the. [00:05:45] Speaker A: Chimera knows, that's the crazier attack. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. So Chimera breath with fire in a 30 foot cone is going to get at least twin Talon and Saraya. And that's it. Because the wall is going to block the rest of it. [00:06:04] Speaker C: That is not a 30 foot cone, but okay. [00:06:06] Speaker B: No, but the wall blocks most of it. [00:06:08] Speaker C: Let's see way you drew it. Oh yeah. [00:06:11] Speaker B: Oh, are you implying that I hit three of my own people as well? [00:06:16] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what I'm implying. [00:06:18] Speaker A: Uh huh. [00:06:18] Speaker B: Sorry. Two. Yeah. The Chimera and Ratichak gets out of the way. So let's get some reflex saves. [00:06:26] Speaker A: Yeah, see if I can actually make a reflex save for once. [00:06:28] Speaker C: This game, that body just disappeared. [00:06:31] Speaker B: Well, it died. It turned to dust. [00:06:33] Speaker C: Okay. [00:06:34] Speaker B: As this gout of flame rushes from the dragon mouth. Twin talon, what did you roll? [00:06:39] Speaker C: Total natural 20 for a 38. [00:06:41] Speaker B: That is a critical success. Saraya, what did you roll? [00:06:45] Speaker A: I rolled an 18 for a 33. [00:06:48] Speaker B: That is a regular success. Damn it. And the one creature that it hit failed. All right, that's what you get for. [00:06:58] Speaker C: Not being a red dragon, I guess, having all these fire breathing creatures around you, right. Silly blue dragons. [00:07:05] Speaker B: Yeah, I just. That reminded me to look at what they're immune to and. Nope, that means twin talon, you take zero. [00:07:12] Speaker A: I mean better. Better for him. Yeah. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Saraya, you take 15. [00:07:17] Speaker A: I'm still awake. [00:07:19] Speaker D: I'm wide awake. [00:07:21] Speaker B: And this creature takes 30. Double damage because it critically failed. [00:07:27] Speaker C: Wow, what a day. What a day that guy is having. [00:07:30] Speaker A: Was that like 60 damage on it then? [00:07:33] Speaker B: Yup. [00:07:33] Speaker C: So I hit it for 50 with the explosion. I don't think it crit failed and then. Or it could have been saved. I don't know. But yeah. So it's taken at least 85 damage. [00:07:42] Speaker B: It's still up. So that a breath weapon is only two actions. I do have to roll a d four. I roll the four, so that's great for me. And then it's going to go horn. Twin talon in the face, less good. I mean, I could roll a natural one. [00:08:04] Speaker C: Did you roll a natural one? [00:08:05] Speaker B: I did not. [00:08:06] Speaker A: Oh fuck. [00:08:07] Speaker B: I rolled a natural two. Okay, does a 22 hit your ac? [00:08:12] Speaker C: It does not. [00:08:13] Speaker A: Oof. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Oh, hang it in so close. So close. [00:08:21] Speaker C: Does the breath weapon have the attack designation? [00:08:24] Speaker B: Oh, let me double check. Arcane evocation. Action. Attack. Oh, no. Action. Arcane evocation. It does not look like it. I'm double checking. [00:08:35] Speaker C: That's. It's just a question. I mean, like, because that would typically make the attack less so cross it. [00:08:42] Speaker B: Does not have it. Okay. [00:08:45] Speaker C: I mean, it missed. Missed either way, but it's just good to know. [00:08:47] Speaker B: Knife. Sword. Dark hole, seal teeth. It is your turn. [00:08:54] Speaker E: Lovely. Well, seeing as I have one third level spell left, I might as well, go with my favorite third level spell. [00:09:00] Speaker B: Where are we putting the gravity well? [00:09:04] Speaker C: Pull these chimeras away from us. Please. [00:09:06] Speaker A: Please, for the love of God. [00:09:07] Speaker E: I don't exactly know where you are, but I can see why of them. So. [00:09:11] Speaker B: Boy, oh boy. Okay, that pulls almost all of them towards the center. So let's make some reflex saves first for the chimera that is affected. That is a natural one. [00:09:26] Speaker C: Oh, thank goodness. [00:09:27] Speaker A: That would be a critical failure, sir. [00:09:29] Speaker B: That would be. That means they're going to move 30ft. [00:09:32] Speaker A: Thank fucking God. [00:09:33] Speaker C: Yeah, they're gonna go directly to the middle of the circle. Do not, Pesco. [00:09:36] Speaker A: Yeah, they're just gonna. [00:09:37] Speaker B: Second one rolls a 28. [00:09:39] Speaker C: That's a pass. It's regular, 5ft toward the center. [00:09:42] Speaker B: And the third one reflects. 27 fail. Starting closest to the middle. Move 5ft there. Oh, there is no wall. So it can. Straight there. Sorry, I forget. I still see the. [00:09:59] Speaker A: Yeah, the map still has one. [00:10:00] Speaker E: I wonder what happens if he gets in range of that red dragon. [00:10:03] Speaker C: I don't know. I wish the red dragon would start breathing fire on them, though. [00:10:06] Speaker A: That would be nice. [00:10:07] Speaker C: I don't know if it's conscious even. [00:10:09] Speaker B: I realize I didn't really give a good description of this room. So guess what I'm gonna do now? After knife sword is done, you have one more action, mister. Mister Knife sword. [00:10:19] Speaker E: A magic missile. The rocket chair. [00:10:23] Speaker B: Bless you. Go ahead. [00:10:25] Speaker E: Three. [00:10:25] Speaker B: Three more points of damage taken. 103 damage with the walls being destroyed and now that some of the dust and bone have settled to the ground, you can see the immense skull of a fossilized dragon looms from the northern wall of this smoky domed ceiling. Ritual chamber, its hollow eyes flickering with fiery light. Molten gold pours from the dragon's mouth into an immense stone bowl below, an offering basin made from the monstrous dragon's collarbones and shoulder blades. A raised stone slab sits in the center of this boiling metal, a pedestal to offer sacrifices to a dark God. Ribs rise up in this southern portion of this room to support the ceiling, while the hollow space under the skull to the north of the bowl seems to have been furnished as if a personal shrine. Study and sleeping nook. On the dais, you see a red dragon chained to the stone. [00:11:28] Speaker D: Are red dragons good or bad? [00:11:30] Speaker C: They're typically chaotic. Evil, I think. But I guess we know what they're doing with all the gold. Melting it down and making this dragon skull vomit. [00:11:38] Speaker A: It is still arsenic. Bleeding gold. [00:11:41] Speaker C: It's possible when you smelt it that it loses some of that or it burns out. I don't know. I don't know. [00:11:45] Speaker E: My working theory is the red Dragon's not their friend. [00:11:49] Speaker A: It doesn't mean that he's ours, though, right? [00:11:51] Speaker E: Yeah, but if I put one of them in front of him, you know. [00:11:54] Speaker D: The enemy of our enemy. [00:11:55] Speaker C: Yeah, enemy of our enemy. I agree with that. [00:11:57] Speaker B: So now it is the chimera that was just pulled away. Its turn. It's going to roar, which doesn't do anything. That's a flavor roar. It's going to move directly in front of Saraya, twin Talon. And it's just going to try and bite at twin Talon with the dragon jaw. 33. [00:12:20] Speaker D: I can't liberate you, can I? We established this last episode. [00:12:25] Speaker B: Yeah. The wall blocks it. Take 26 points of damage. [00:12:29] Speaker C: So more than one. Great. [00:12:31] Speaker B: Yep. Yep. So you are now dying. And then it's going to take a. The lion is going to bite at Saraya. Natural one. [00:12:43] Speaker A: Good. Pull a crit card fail a crit fail card, my friend. [00:12:48] Speaker B: Okay. And this is a melee strike. I take one d ten. Persistent bleed. [00:12:55] Speaker C: What you do? Bite your tongue? [00:12:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I go ahead and roll a d ten for me. [00:13:02] Speaker A: The cat has the goat's tongue. I don't know why y'all are friends with me. That's gonna be nine points of bleed this round. [00:13:17] Speaker B: Okay. It bleeds for nine. [00:13:21] Speaker C: And I'm hoping that attacking with all of its heads is more than one action. [00:13:24] Speaker B: Yes, it is. Done. [00:13:25] Speaker C: Okay. It has to make its flat check. [00:13:28] Speaker B: Oh, thank you. [00:13:29] Speaker C: As much as I don't want it. [00:13:31] Speaker B: To save, I was just gonna forget it and let it keep bleeding. [00:13:34] Speaker A: Yes. [00:13:35] Speaker C: The rules. [00:13:35] Speaker B: I think you guys can now see the entire initiative tracker for the first time. [00:13:41] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:13:42] Speaker C: Mystery person at the end. [00:13:43] Speaker B: That's the skull. [00:13:46] Speaker C: Yeah, because can you move me in my initiative then? [00:13:49] Speaker B: Oh, I. Yes. I forgot about that. Forgot you're dead and dead. Dying. [00:13:54] Speaker C: I'm not dead and dying. It's not like Schrodinger's health track. Until we look, he's both dead and dying and dying. [00:14:03] Speaker B: Okay, it is now the reach around's turn. It's going to look at all of the debris that has been kicked up the debris brist. [00:14:15] Speaker D: It's John. I guess it's fine. [00:14:17] Speaker A: Does it? Just because it ends here? [00:14:20] Speaker B: Uh huh. God damn it. [00:14:21] Speaker A: Okay. Should we get another one? [00:14:23] Speaker C: No, it's too far away for something. [00:14:25] Speaker B: Too far away. So it's going to actually come forward, take two moves to move into the doorway. It's going to bite at Saraya. [00:14:34] Speaker A: I was afraid of that. [00:14:36] Speaker B: Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter now. [00:14:39] Speaker A: Did you get another one? [00:14:40] Speaker B: Yes, I did. Oh, I drew a card, and this is from one of our patrons. [00:14:48] Speaker C: Ooh, a crit fail from one of our patrons. That's a surprise. [00:14:53] Speaker B: Cassandra. [00:14:55] Speaker A: Hi, Cassandra. [00:14:57] Speaker B: Yes, this is called your meats. Your meats, your meats. You take one d four persistent bleed damage, or two d four if the target is small. Well, I'm small, so I'm taking two d, four bleed. Thanks, Cassandra. [00:15:19] Speaker C: Yeah, thanks, Cassandra. [00:15:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:23] Speaker B: Five. Five bleed. [00:15:25] Speaker C: So it went to bite Saraya, and I'm guessing it bit its tongue as well. Like these have a very bad tongue biting problem in this. This fortress. [00:15:33] Speaker D: Just have weirdly shaped jaws. [00:15:34] Speaker A: It's the long lizard tongues that they're not used to. [00:15:38] Speaker B: I just rolled a flat check for the creature. Rolls a 16 for a flat check to stop bleed. No, no. Yeah, it does. Rolls a 16 for a flat check. Stops bleeding after biting its own tongue. Brianna, it is now your turn. [00:15:55] Speaker D: So fuck. I want to go in there and grab them both and pull them back, but I can't because there's this creature in front of me. [00:16:03] Speaker A: Just kill the creature. [00:16:05] Speaker C: So can I ask a question very quickly? [00:16:06] Speaker B: Yes. [00:16:07] Speaker C: One of these should still be smitten. Correct? Because it's been avoiding attacking Brianna for. [00:16:13] Speaker B: Yes. [00:16:14] Speaker C: Weeks now. [00:16:15] Speaker D: Yes. [00:16:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:16] Speaker C: Which one is it? Because she would know. [00:16:18] Speaker B: It is the one that is closer to twin Talon. So the one to the northeast, they're. [00:16:25] Speaker C: Both adjacent to me, but okay, the eastern one. [00:16:27] Speaker A: So I'm assuming the one in the eastern side, that's like in the curve. Curve of the rib that's further from the spine. [00:16:32] Speaker B: Yes. [00:16:33] Speaker D: I can't see any of that, but I trust you guys. Excuse me. Knife. Sword. Gotta get in here. [00:16:40] Speaker B: Would you like to tumble through? [00:16:42] Speaker D: I mean, previously, my hope was that we could bring our friends back here and close the door again or something. But sadly that is no longer the case. And I need to get in there as the tank. [00:16:54] Speaker C: So what is your. The only reason I ask is because like, there's two squares that are adjacent to the reach around, so you don't need to tumble through to get next to him. But if you're trying to do something else, then you would need to tumble through. I just think Shawn is trying to set you up with skill checks. I just want to make sure that you actually are trying to do that before he starts making you roll dice that you don't need to roll. Would you like to roll a bunch of unnecessary checks that if you fail, will do bad things to you? No. [00:17:23] Speaker D: I don't know if I want to leave knife sword with this thing, but I do want to be able to be close enough to attack both the chimera and the reach around. [00:17:33] Speaker B: I mean, you could attack the reach around, see what happens, and then for your last action, tumble through 2020. [00:17:41] Speaker D: I'm guessing we'll miss. [00:17:42] Speaker B: Will miss. Unless you would like hero point. [00:17:45] Speaker D: Yes. I will give you my hero. And I'll do it again. There you go. Natural 20. [00:17:51] Speaker C: Bring those triple dams. [00:17:53] Speaker A: Let's do it. [00:17:54] Speaker B: That will crit. [00:17:56] Speaker C: I'm dancing again. Nobody can see me, but I'm dancing. [00:17:59] Speaker D: Broad swipe the target. Takes one d. Four persistent bleed damage. [00:18:04] Speaker C: And still takes double damage. So. [00:18:06] Speaker B: All right, let's see how much damage you do. [00:18:08] Speaker D: 34. [00:18:09] Speaker B: 34 points of damage will slay the creature. [00:18:15] Speaker C: Awesome. [00:18:15] Speaker B: The doorway is now clear. [00:18:18] Speaker D: So she will say, excuse me, gotta go. So I smacked, I moved. I guess I'll smack again. [00:18:26] Speaker C: Sure. [00:18:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:27] Speaker D: Yeah. 27 to hit the nearest chimera. [00:18:31] Speaker B: That will better hit. That will hit. [00:18:35] Speaker D: Excellent. Take 16 points of damage. [00:18:38] Speaker B: I will. [00:18:40] Speaker D: That's my turn. [00:18:41] Speaker C: It's a good turn. Kill a bad guy, attack another guy, spend a hero point for a crit, and not a crit fail like some of us do. Yeah, it's a good turn. [00:18:51] Speaker A: Now the Bergamot's turn. [00:18:53] Speaker C: Bergamot's turn. [00:18:55] Speaker A: Burgomaster Mike's burger. [00:18:57] Speaker B: So it's going to use a one action ability. [00:19:02] Speaker C: Sepika. I don't know. All I know is I have always house ruled that dying is a free action. [00:19:09] Speaker A: So, I mean fair. [00:19:11] Speaker C: So die. We'll give it to you. [00:19:14] Speaker B: You see them look a little bit better. And then it's going to cast a spell at Brianna. [00:19:25] Speaker D: What's up? [00:19:27] Speaker B: Attempt ranged spell attack. So I'm gonna start with that. Does a 31 hit you? [00:19:35] Speaker D: Yeah, it does. [00:19:37] Speaker B: Okay, then. Can you make a fortitude save? [00:19:41] Speaker D: I certainly can. [00:19:43] Speaker C: Come on, Brianna. [00:19:44] Speaker D: No promises. How's the 28? [00:19:47] Speaker B: That is a success. [00:19:48] Speaker C: Nice. [00:19:49] Speaker B: So on a success, you become enfeebled one. [00:19:54] Speaker D: Remind me. [00:19:54] Speaker A: One enfeebled does. [00:19:56] Speaker C: It's a negative one to all of your strength based things. Boo. [00:19:59] Speaker B: And this will last 1 minute. [00:20:02] Speaker D: Cool. So ten rounds. Awesome. [00:20:04] Speaker B: Yep. As a green ray flies from this creature's hands and strikes you brood. [00:20:12] Speaker C: Serslay. [00:20:13] Speaker B: It is serslay. Serea. [00:20:15] Speaker A: All right, how the hell can I turn off the dragon eye thing before it kills another one of us? [00:20:21] Speaker B: Oh, boy. That is a good question. So it's a hazard. So you need to figure out how you can disable it. [00:20:27] Speaker A: Can I make a knowledge recall knowledge rule? [00:20:31] Speaker B: Yes. Yes, you can make a. [00:20:35] Speaker C: You sound unsure. [00:20:37] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, but can that be lovely? Which one? [00:20:40] Speaker B: I'm just trying to see. Give me an arcana check. [00:20:48] Speaker A: 25. [00:20:49] Speaker B: Okay, so you think that if you were an expert in thievery, you could disable the eyes. You would have to get up to it, and as you look at it a little bit more, you notice that in the eyes, the flames are actually coursing around in a ruby. So if you were able to get up there and pry the ruby out with some. Some expert thievery, you would be able to disarm it. [00:21:16] Speaker A: What if I just tried to hurt the ruby? [00:21:19] Speaker B: You could. There is a breakpoint for this thing, but there's also hardness, so you could try and smash it as well. But it's going to be difficult because. [00:21:33] Speaker A: I am not an expert in thievery, unfortunately. [00:21:37] Speaker C: Man, who would be an expert. [00:21:39] Speaker A: I know, right? Like, who would be. Who would. Who would do that? [00:21:43] Speaker B: I don't know, but they're probably dying right now. [00:21:46] Speaker C: I think they're. They're dead and help and. Or die. [00:21:48] Speaker B: Dying to help. [00:21:49] Speaker A: Dead and dying. Both at the same time. All right, so I've done. I've done that. Um, and we don't have any, like, healing stuff, but I can just, like, drop on you. I have to take my next two turns to bring you up, which I would not mind doing, except I. For the two chimeras. I'm gonna try and drag Twintellen back through the door. [00:22:11] Speaker B: Okay. I'll say each square is difficult terrain. [00:22:15] Speaker A: To move him, so maybe like, 510, 1520. I have 60ft of movement over two actions, so. [00:22:27] Speaker B: Right. But how are you moving? Are you taking a step or are you walking? [00:22:31] Speaker C: You cannot step in a difficult terrain. [00:22:33] Speaker B: Oh. So you have to just walk. [00:22:36] Speaker A: Okay. Which means, I'm sure I provoke attacks of opportunity. [00:22:39] Speaker C: Unless you say she can step and drag me. Nah, since you're just making it up anyway. [00:22:45] Speaker B: No, you can't. So you're gonna trigger at least a single attack of opportunity. [00:22:50] Speaker C: Yay. [00:22:52] Speaker B: Are you gonna do that? [00:22:54] Speaker A: Yeah. No, because I know the eyes are gonna go off again soon, and I'd rather. [00:22:59] Speaker B: Okay. [00:22:59] Speaker A: Besides, Brianna can liberate me at least once. [00:23:02] Speaker D: Mm hmm. [00:23:03] Speaker B: So it's going to take a snap bite at you with its dragon mouth. That's a one. [00:23:10] Speaker A: Yes. Go ahead and draw that crit fail card, buddy. [00:23:14] Speaker C: All right. We need more patrons to submit more crit fail cards because they're the worst. [00:23:18] Speaker D: We really do just prashanthe yeah. [00:23:21] Speaker A: So did you roll a one for both the chimeras? [00:23:24] Speaker B: No. Only one attacks you because the other one's not within reach. Yeah. So this one is called unintentional move. You are moved 10ft in a random direction. I'm gonna go back that way. 10ft. [00:23:37] Speaker D: You provoke from me. [00:23:38] Speaker C: Yes. [00:23:39] Speaker B: I wish I was awake now. Remember, if you use to provoke here, you cannot liberate people. [00:23:47] Speaker A: I mean, all of us are going behind the door, so. [00:23:50] Speaker B: That's true. Yeah. [00:23:52] Speaker D: 29. [00:23:53] Speaker B: Yes, that will hit. [00:23:55] Speaker A: Kill it. [00:23:57] Speaker B: 1515 points of damage still there. All right, you may. Now, Saraya, I'm gonna say you drag. [00:24:08] Speaker A: Drag him behind the remaining sections of the wall. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Yep. Because I am so nightmare. [00:24:16] Speaker D: If you could say it, then you are it. [00:24:18] Speaker A: But you can't, so you're not. [00:24:21] Speaker B: I was just about to be nice too. [00:24:24] Speaker A: No, you weren't. [00:24:25] Speaker B: So I'm still gonna be nice. [00:24:28] Speaker C: Just so you know, Saraya and her body. Cause I didn't put on the board to the east of knife sword, dark hole, seagull teeth. The one square to the east of him, that's where my bag of holding is because I took it off the barrel and I never picked it back up. Single teeth. [00:24:45] Speaker A: Get a healing potion. [00:24:46] Speaker C: I mean, I just mean that you could drag me over there if you wanted. [00:24:48] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I had planned to like, I had planned to like pull you over that way instead of back towards the spine. Anyway. [00:24:54] Speaker B: Now, Matt, you said something when we started this episode. [00:24:57] Speaker C: Mm hmm. [00:24:58] Speaker B: And I was thinking about it and I agree with you. [00:25:01] Speaker C: Great. [00:25:01] Speaker B: That whole whole play plan of getting the barrel in the right spot and using it to destroy everything was pretty darn neat. So I just gave everyone another hero point. [00:25:13] Speaker C: All right, thanks, Sean. [00:25:14] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:25:15] Speaker C: Good job, team. [00:25:16] Speaker B: So now the skull goes and there is only one person it can see. What's up, Brianna? Does a 22 hit you? [00:25:26] Speaker D: Aw, you're cute. [00:25:28] Speaker C: Does the ruby explode in its eyeball? [00:25:30] Speaker B: Oh, well, it's only a two. It doesn't, does it? Critically miss. [00:25:35] Speaker C: I just feel. Felt like it had to critically miss to miss. But I guess she. I just forget how. How armored Brienne is. [00:25:41] Speaker A: Yeah, right. [00:25:42] Speaker C: Even without her shield. [00:25:43] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm a walking house. [00:25:46] Speaker B: So the chimera in the corner that has been smoted by Briena three weeks ago at this point, I think. [00:25:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:55] Speaker D: Hey, time no see. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Buddy moves up and tries to bite you with a lion jaw. All right, little lion man. 40. Does that hit? [00:26:06] Speaker C: Did you natural 20. [00:26:07] Speaker B: That cool? [00:26:09] Speaker D: That is a critical. [00:26:10] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, I did natural 20. It yes, I did. [00:26:13] Speaker D: So I was just gonna say that would be a critical success. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Well, at least it's with the lion head instead of the dragon mouth. [00:26:19] Speaker D: Doesn't matter. Shut up. Roll your damage. [00:26:23] Speaker B: Take 42 points of damage. [00:26:26] Speaker D: Okay. [00:26:27] Speaker B: Oh, I forgot that you're, like, super, so it doesn't even really affect you walking house. [00:26:34] Speaker D: I know. That's a good chunk. [00:26:36] Speaker B: And then it's going to swing a claw at you. So the opposite side of a natural 20 is a natural one, right? [00:26:43] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:26:45] Speaker B: Okay. Card number 15. [00:26:48] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [00:26:48] Speaker D: Sneeze. Bless you. [00:26:50] Speaker B: You are slowed one until the end of your next turn. [00:26:53] Speaker D: So that's it? That's all you can do, right? [00:26:55] Speaker B: He moved and then he attacked twice, but now he slowed. So next turn. [00:27:00] Speaker C: Yeah, next turn. I'll lose the first one. [00:27:04] Speaker B: Knife sword, it is your turn. [00:27:06] Speaker E: I'm going to cast enervation on the Chimera right in front of me. [00:27:11] Speaker B: Okay, so I need to make a save of the fortitudinal variety. Fortitude variety. Thank you. Oh, finally, an in between. Number 25, total failure. [00:27:24] Speaker E: Oh, yeah, that feels. [00:27:26] Speaker C: I forgot this spell drains people. [00:27:27] Speaker B: Okay. Oh. Oh, okay. [00:27:32] Speaker C: This is the most fun I've ever had being unconscious. [00:27:36] Speaker A: Fair. [00:27:37] Speaker E: 17 and they're drained one, and it's persistent negative damage. [00:27:42] Speaker B: So 17 and it's drain one, which means it loses its level in Max hit points and hit points. Oh, boy. That's not great. It's still there, but. [00:27:55] Speaker E: And I'm gonna magic mislet. [00:27:56] Speaker B: Okay. [00:27:57] Speaker C: Please be the four damage it needs. [00:27:59] Speaker B: Five? [00:28:00] Speaker C: Yes. [00:28:01] Speaker E: How about five? [00:28:01] Speaker C: Never been so excited for five damage. [00:28:03] Speaker A: I know, right? [00:28:05] Speaker B: And you kill the Chimera. [00:28:09] Speaker C: Yes. [00:28:10] Speaker A: Oh, it's very good. [00:28:11] Speaker B: Nice knife sword. [00:28:13] Speaker E: Yeah. That was three removes done. [00:28:16] Speaker B: I know. And you get a third hero point. So how do you like them apples? [00:28:20] Speaker E: Oh, nice. [00:28:21] Speaker D: Very well done. [00:28:22] Speaker B: Okay, it is now twin Talon's turn. [00:28:25] Speaker E: I'm gonna need those. Cause pretty soon I'm gonna have to wade into melee. Getting down to cantrips, just grow, like. [00:28:31] Speaker C: Tentacle arms or whatever. Whatever creepy stuff you got left. So it's two heels turn. So I guess the only thing I can do is to try to stabilize, right? [00:28:43] Speaker B: That is correct. Or you can spend your hero points to stabilize. [00:28:46] Speaker C: Well, spend the hero point loses the wounded condition, but doesn't wake you up. I think if you roll to stabilize, you actually wake up. [00:28:52] Speaker B: I will look that up while you make that roll. [00:28:55] Speaker C: Okay, so I think it's a flip. [00:28:56] Speaker B: Flat check it is. You need to roll a natural 20. [00:29:00] Speaker C: Will a natural 20 do it? Is 20 enough on the 2020. Asking for a friend who got a 20. [00:29:05] Speaker E: Sorry, you needed a natural 21. [00:29:07] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:29:09] Speaker D: I think that's possible. [00:29:12] Speaker A: A natural 21. [00:29:15] Speaker C: I think if you roll a natural 20 on that check, you wake up and have full hit points. I think that's what that is. I could be remembering it incorrectly, but I'm pretty sure that's what that is for. [00:29:24] Speaker E: You have double hit points. Yeah. You have all your regular hit points and then your regular hit points again in temporary hit points. [00:29:31] Speaker C: Okay. [00:29:31] Speaker E: That last for the combat. [00:29:33] Speaker C: Yeah, that sounds balanced. [00:29:35] Speaker B: When you're dying, at the start of each turn, DC ten plus your current dying value. This is called a recovery check. The effects of this check are as follows. Critical success. Your dying value is reduced by two. You're at zero hit points, but you do not have the dying condition anymore. [00:29:50] Speaker C: And the next round. Do I wake up with one hit point? [00:29:53] Speaker B: Do not believe so. You still need to be healed. [00:29:56] Speaker C: Okay. But I'm not dying at all anymore, which is kind of great. [00:30:00] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, that's always so good. [00:30:02] Speaker B: So you wake up, but you're not gonna be, you know, wounded either. Brianna, it is your turn. [00:30:08] Speaker D: This is what's gonna happen. [00:30:09] Speaker B: Uh oh. [00:30:10] Speaker D: Brianna is going to temporarily act as a door. [00:30:12] Speaker B: Okay. [00:30:13] Speaker D: Oh, no, guys. A chance to heal and recover. She is going to attack the Chimera closest to her. Since they've been buddies for a while. I'm going to use my hero point to roll again. That is a little bit better. 25 to hit the chimera. [00:30:31] Speaker B: 25 will still miss. [00:30:34] Speaker D: All right, well, she says fuck that. And then she's going to step in and close the door. And that's her action. [00:30:39] Speaker C: Makes sense to me. [00:30:40] Speaker B: It is now my turn and I'm going to. Let's see. I would like to swing on a star. [00:30:50] Speaker C: I would rather be a fish. [00:30:52] Speaker B: What do I want to do? So many options. [00:30:54] Speaker C: So while you're deciding, I did find out what happens when you have not the dying condition but also no hit point. If you're unconscious and it's zero hit points but not dying, you naturally return to one hit point and awaken. After sufficient time passes, the GM determines how long you remain unconscious, from a minimum of ten minutes to several hours. If you receive healing during this time, you lose unconscious and can act normally on your next turn. So if nobody does anything in ten minutes or more, I will wake up with one hit point. But hopefully you guys don't just do that. [00:31:23] Speaker A: I have a plan, but it's good. [00:31:25] Speaker C: To know it's still even if you lose the dying condition. If you have zero points, you still are unconscious for ten minutes at least. [00:31:30] Speaker B: Okay, so that's my turn. Saraya, it's your turn. [00:31:35] Speaker A: I'm gonna fish out one of the lesser healing potions that does a little more healing from the bag of holding and shove it in twin Talon's face. Sorry. It is the miter that does more healing. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Okay, go ahead and roll that. [00:31:52] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:31:52] Speaker A: Two d eight plus five. So we're gonna use one of those on Talon. Okay. So you can heal 20. [00:31:59] Speaker C: All right. [00:32:00] Speaker A: And then I'm gonna grab another one for myself. But I don't think I can drink it. [00:32:04] Speaker B: Why? You're fine. [00:32:06] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. My 13 hit points are fine. [00:32:11] Speaker B: The start of round twelve. [00:32:15] Speaker A: This is literally the longest combat we've ever actually had. [00:32:19] Speaker B: You see the door shake? [00:32:22] Speaker C: What did this door is made of, by the way? [00:32:24] Speaker B: Wood. [00:32:24] Speaker C: All right, you know what? If whoever just wastes their attacks on the door, I'm fine with that. Which means they're not attacking us. [00:32:31] Speaker A: Yeah. Just trying to break it down via, like, hardness and stuff. [00:32:34] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. These are garbage. Yay. Cool. The door is still standing as you see it getting smashed. Like splinters flying in towards you. Nice sword. [00:32:48] Speaker C: I still standing? Yeah. Stronger than it's ever been. [00:32:51] Speaker B: Yes, it is your turn. [00:32:54] Speaker E: The door's still there. I'm gonna knock on the door. [00:32:57] Speaker B: Okay, come and knock on our door. Hello. [00:33:01] Speaker E: And then I'm going to back up with just a tad so I'm not in the way. If the door does explode. [00:33:06] Speaker C: Is this where we do like, the Shaggy Scooby thing? Where we close the door in their face and open it up with costumes on and be like, what are you doing in my house? I make them feel real self conscious and then give them a haircut or something. [00:33:15] Speaker E: Could have done that, but I check already, so. [00:33:19] Speaker C: All right, that's fine. Next time. [00:33:22] Speaker E: And then I'm gonna. That's into my turn, I'm sure. What else? [00:33:25] Speaker B: Okay, at the moment, twin talon, you're awake, but prone. [00:33:30] Speaker C: All right, so my first action is going to be to stand up. [00:33:33] Speaker B: Okay. [00:33:34] Speaker C: Eventually, someday I will get the skill feet kip up. But that day is not today. [00:33:39] Speaker B: But that is not today. [00:33:40] Speaker C: Okay, that is not today. And then I will reach my arm up to the shoulder, into this bag on the floor and pull out. So I'll pull out the lesser healing potion. So knock one of those off. And that is two d eight plus 517 more. [00:34:02] Speaker B: Okay, please. You are at 37, Rihanna. [00:34:08] Speaker D: I don't know. [00:34:10] Speaker B: Open the door. [00:34:13] Speaker C: Well, you have. You have three actions. You could open the door, smack whoever's on the side. Close the door. [00:34:18] Speaker D: You know what? Fuck it. Opening the door. Can I reach over and smack it? [00:34:25] Speaker B: It is. Well, actually, since it had. It was attacking the door, it is there. So it is directly in front of it so you can hit it. [00:34:32] Speaker A: Cool. [00:34:32] Speaker D: Hello. Smackety smack. [00:34:36] Speaker C: Rolled up newspaper. Right on. The ghost. [00:34:39] Speaker D: Failed, apparently. Miss by eight with a 21. Fuck. Okay, closing. [00:34:45] Speaker C: Miss by eight. It's got a 29 ac. This is so ridiculous. I love it. [00:34:50] Speaker B: So what? [00:34:51] Speaker C: Open the doors, swipe at the monster, close the door again. [00:34:55] Speaker A: Sometimes you just have to fight like a three Stooges sketch. [00:34:58] Speaker C: Yep. [00:34:59] Speaker B: Oh, I can't because that's two actions. God damn it. [00:35:05] Speaker C: I like it, whatever it is. Sounds good to me. [00:35:08] Speaker B: Saraya, it is your turn. [00:35:10] Speaker A: Going to drink that healing potion. [00:35:12] Speaker B: Okay. [00:35:13] Speaker A: Another two d eight plus five. So I get to heal 14. I'm up to 27. [00:35:19] Speaker B: All right. [00:35:19] Speaker A: Okay. Um, this door over here is still open? [00:35:23] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:24] Speaker A: Okay. It's perfect. It's 30ft. I'm gonna scoot that way. [00:35:28] Speaker B: Hi. [00:35:28] Speaker A: Hi there. What's the other guy? Cool. Guess who is going to get an alchemist fire to the face. [00:35:37] Speaker B: Okay. It's like they were trying to move around to attack you. [00:35:40] Speaker A: Yeah, well, guess what, buddy? You're gonna have a bad time. [00:35:43] Speaker B: Am I? Am I? [00:35:44] Speaker A: It's a 33. Gonna have a bad time for him. [00:35:47] Speaker B: 33 will hit. [00:35:48] Speaker A: Not a critical. I didn't think so. Yeah, I didn't think so. It's alright. He takes eight fire damage plus two. Persistent. [00:35:58] Speaker B: And you hear cursing come out of their mouth in draconic. In that high pitched craggily voice. What are you doing here? [00:36:09] Speaker A: Just shout back in draconic. We're here to stop you. [00:36:11] Speaker B: Okay. [00:36:12] Speaker A: Hell's rule. Dahoch drools. [00:36:15] Speaker B: Nothing there. Let's see if we can break the door this time. Door closer. Okay, there we go. The door splinters open and the chimera is there and it is now going to slash at you. Brianna, with the third attack. [00:36:33] Speaker C: Got a negative ten. Nice. [00:36:36] Speaker B: 22 to hit. Okay, knife sword, it is your turn. [00:36:41] Speaker E: Okay. [00:36:49] Speaker B: I'm gonna go back outside there. Yeah. For those of people who can't see where you're running. [00:36:58] Speaker E: Sorry, I am circling back around to come from the other side. [00:37:02] Speaker B: Okay. [00:37:03] Speaker C: You went back south through the door. [00:37:05] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:37:05] Speaker B: Yes. [00:37:06] Speaker E: So I'm done because I moved. Opened the door and moved. So. [00:37:10] Speaker B: Okay, twin Talon, it's your turn. You just see knife sword, say bye and start running away. [00:37:17] Speaker C: Uh huh. Um. [00:37:19] Speaker D: Cool. [00:37:20] Speaker B: Cool. [00:37:20] Speaker A: Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. [00:37:21] Speaker D: This is fun. Let's go home. [00:37:23] Speaker A: I don't know why he couldn't just cross the room like I did, but. [00:37:25] Speaker C: Okay, you know what? I quit. You know, there's enough of this. [00:37:29] Speaker D: You almost died. We're good. [00:37:30] Speaker B: Out of the pit. Bye. [00:37:33] Speaker C: Oh, man. [00:37:35] Speaker B: Round 13. [00:37:38] Speaker C: All right. Um, sorry, I was looking for anything cool in the bag, but everything in there is going to take too many actions for me to use for it to be super useful. So, um, I will take a step up. [00:37:49] Speaker B: Okay. [00:37:50] Speaker C: I will swing away at the. Actually, I will quick draw because I my dog slicers probably in the room I fell to. But I still do have a plus one striking short sword. It's not cold iron, but it is basically the same. Yes, that's a natural 20. [00:38:08] Speaker B: It rolls rolled to a two and then natural 20. Okay, dancing, dancing. [00:38:15] Speaker C: Okay, critical hit number trace 636. This is piercing, guarded. Strike crit gain a two circumstance bonus to ac until the end of your next turn. I'll take it. [00:38:30] Speaker B: Okay. Double damage, please. [00:38:33] Speaker C: You got it, buddy. [00:38:36] Speaker A: So hostile. [00:38:38] Speaker B: Don't think you can kill it. One shot. I don't think you can. [00:38:42] Speaker C: So that's. I rolled very poorly on 46 plus six. I rolled 16. So it's 32. [00:38:49] Speaker B: Okay. [00:38:50] Speaker C: It's 2326-2932 okay, I got there eventually. [00:38:57] Speaker B: No, it is still there. That was the first action or second action I did. [00:39:04] Speaker C: I guess I'll just attack again. I kind of want to grab something out of the bag. So I have for next turn. But I don't know if it's gonna be of any use, so I'll just attack it. That works every time. [00:39:13] Speaker B: Does it work every time? I mean, what happens when you roll a one? [00:39:17] Speaker A: Well, 60% of the time works a rich. [00:39:21] Speaker C: So that's a 26 to its flat footed ac. [00:39:24] Speaker B: That will hit. [00:39:26] Speaker C: So super average on my regular dice. Sneak attack dice hot. Better than average. So that's 22 on that attack. [00:39:34] Speaker B: All right. It takes the 22 points of damage. [00:39:38] Speaker C: That's my turn. [00:39:39] Speaker B: Still standing. Brianna. [00:39:41] Speaker D: Hello, my name is Brianna. Fuck. Stop failing, you stupid shit. [00:39:49] Speaker B: Miss, would you like to use a hero point? [00:39:51] Speaker D: Do I even have them anymore? [00:39:53] Speaker B: Yeah, you have one left. [00:39:56] Speaker C: Okay, now's the time. This is your best attack, right? [00:39:59] Speaker D: I. No, never. I'm just gonna go hide somewhere. [00:40:03] Speaker B: So you miss with a 25? Uh, yeah. Is it flat? It's not flat footed to her, is it? [00:40:10] Speaker D: No, no. Unless. If I were to tumble through and be on the other side. [00:40:14] Speaker C: But forgone. Foregone. Foregone. The crit effect of giving myself plus two ac. I could have made it flat footed. I didn't think about it. I apologize. [00:40:23] Speaker B: Oh, selfish, selfish twin tower. [00:40:26] Speaker C: I have no hit points, so I was hoping for anything that would keep me alive. [00:40:30] Speaker D: To close the door or to be the door. [00:40:32] Speaker B: I can't close the door. There is no door. [00:40:34] Speaker C: It blasted. [00:40:35] Speaker D: All right, shield up. Since I have. Ooh, I want to try my spikes. [00:40:41] Speaker A: Ooh, you can shoot spikes from your. [00:40:43] Speaker C: Shield or just slam them into. [00:40:45] Speaker B: Yeah, unfortunately, if you remember back in the beginning of all of this. [00:40:50] Speaker D: Oh, no, I don't. [00:40:52] Speaker B: So you've used all your spikes. You used two to fire at the boggards on the parapets at the top, and then the. You you broke off all of the rest, deflecting an attack to take zero damage from the statue. I'm sorry. [00:41:07] Speaker D: No, no, no, it's okay. Thanks for keeping me honest. [00:41:09] Speaker B: Yes, once you can rest, they'll regrow. But I don't think falling asleep right now would be advisable. [00:41:16] Speaker A: Yeah, no, let's not do that. [00:41:18] Speaker D: Wait. We're not playing gloomhaven. Got it. [00:41:20] Speaker C: No, you can't just long rest. So that was just one action, right? [00:41:24] Speaker B: Yeah, the first action was a mistake. You can swing again. [00:41:27] Speaker D: I will swing instead, angrily, with my cinder glau gauntlet. [00:41:31] Speaker B: Okay, that's a mist. [00:41:36] Speaker D: I don't want to play anymore. [00:41:37] Speaker B: It's a regular miss. [00:41:41] Speaker D: I'll put my shield up, I guess. I don't know what else to do. [00:41:45] Speaker C: Guys, that's all right. The dice giveth and the dice taketh away, as they say. [00:41:50] Speaker B: Well, right now, the dice dice are going to taketh away. As it is my turn with this creature. And Saraya. [00:42:01] Speaker A: Yes? [00:42:03] Speaker B: This creature steps forward and says in draconic, oh, you like fire? How about this fire and give me a reflex save, please. [00:42:13] Speaker D: Oh, no. [00:42:14] Speaker A: Should be interesting. So much fire. This whole combat has just been fired. How's a 30? [00:42:20] Speaker B: A 30 will succeed. Brianna, I actually need you to make a reflex save as well. [00:42:27] Speaker D: Is it a damaging? [00:42:29] Speaker B: It is absolutely effect. [00:42:31] Speaker D: Okay, so whatever I roll, plus one, which, knowing my luck, will be a failure, that's a critical success. [00:42:42] Speaker B: So you take no damage, and Saraya, you're going to take four points of damage. [00:42:49] Speaker D: No shit. [00:42:50] Speaker A: Well, if it's only four points of damage. [00:42:52] Speaker B: No, I'm not at all cause the ring. [00:42:56] Speaker A: So I'm just gonna, like, hold my arms out to the sides and let the flames, like, over me and just be like. What did you say? [00:43:04] Speaker B: So, a gout of burning fire reaches out from this small creature's hands, and you just stand there bathing in it and nothing happens. So for its. No, it stepped up first and then it tried to hit you with a spell. Yep, that's it. It is. Now your turn, Saraya. [00:43:23] Speaker A: I'm gonna. [00:43:25] Speaker B: Did you have persistent going on this one from your last bomb? [00:43:29] Speaker A: Yes, he has two persistent fire. [00:43:31] Speaker B: I did not realize that. So let me take the two persistent and let me see if I can. And court save 38. [00:43:37] Speaker A: Damn. Yep, that'll save. [00:43:39] Speaker B: Okay, now you may take your turn. [00:43:41] Speaker A: Gonna use my last prepared frost file. And Christine wants to quote Robert Frost, but I don't think he exists in. In this world. [00:43:51] Speaker D: Not yet. [00:43:52] Speaker C: Question mark. [00:43:53] Speaker D: I don't know. [00:43:53] Speaker A: 34. [00:43:54] Speaker B: 34 will hit. [00:43:59] Speaker A: He will take twelve cold damage, plus two cold, I think that is, plus the two cold splash. And he will take a ten foot speed penalty. That's attack number one. [00:44:10] Speaker B: So you're out of bombs, huh? [00:44:12] Speaker A: No, I was just looking to see if I could shove him. But my athletics is shit and I don't want to do that. I have bombs I can make, as Matt said in a previous episode, infinitely, but it's the lesser version. [00:44:22] Speaker B: Oh, that's true. That's true. You never run out, but your good ones go away. [00:44:26] Speaker A: I have your guns infusions and I actually. No, I have. I have a couple more I could use. Let me actually. And let's try acid, too. Let's just go for all of the, you know, all the major ones. [00:44:38] Speaker B: Okay. [00:44:39] Speaker A: She's just, like, swearing up a storm about, like, elemental things. 21. [00:44:44] Speaker B: That will miss. [00:44:45] Speaker A: Does he take the splash still? [00:44:46] Speaker B: No, I mean, you see the acid splash on the. On her and nothing happens. [00:44:53] Speaker A: Nothing happens. All right, then back to fire, then. Maybe because the fire actually looked like it did something right. [00:44:58] Speaker B: Yes. [00:44:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:59] Speaker B: This is your third attack. [00:45:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:02] Speaker B: Minus ten. [00:45:04] Speaker A: I am aware I might regret this vocals. [00:45:07] Speaker C: You can do it. And by it, I mean fail to hit head. [00:45:12] Speaker A: Oh, that's. That's the ten I'm gonna. That was a four that I though, so I think I'm gonna hero point that. [00:45:17] Speaker B: Okay. [00:45:18] Speaker A: I gave you one already. Please don't take my last one away. [00:45:20] Speaker B: Okay. All right, roll again with a minus ten. [00:45:25] Speaker A: I'm rolling. We're gonna see what happens. Oh, fuck you so much. [00:45:36] Speaker D: Oh, no. [00:45:38] Speaker B: For those who at home, that was a natural one. If you tell by my reaction, who. [00:45:44] Speaker A: Couldn'T tell from Sean's, like, fucking like. [00:45:47] Speaker C: Yeah, I thought it was Christine. I was like, why is she laughing? [00:45:52] Speaker A: No, that was like, straight up, like a fucking, like old timey movie evil. [00:45:58] Speaker C: Like, I just thought you lost your mind for a second. Like, just what it's saying. [00:46:05] Speaker A: I mean, it's not a hard trip. Again, I live with Sean. [00:46:12] Speaker B: That's a natural one. So go ahead and draw that crit mist card. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Uh, okay, so for the ranged, because the. The failure is only spell, not spell or bomb, is until healed. You are clumsy two. And take a five foot circumstance penalty to your land speed. [00:46:27] Speaker B: Right. Ugh. Clumsy one, clumsy two. [00:46:31] Speaker A: Okay, I got my little intimidating moment off with the fire when it attacked me. [00:46:36] Speaker D: Yeah, that's pretty cool. [00:46:37] Speaker B: The top of round 14. Here we go. [00:46:42] Speaker A: I feel like the last round he said was like, eleven. [00:46:44] Speaker C: This is the combat that what's happening. [00:46:48] Speaker A: You're not wrong. [00:46:49] Speaker D: Can we just talk about that? We definitely saw somebody who may or may not, like, play silver and we just kind of like, blew him up, kept going, and then it died. [00:47:00] Speaker C: Well, the thing is, like, it's the middle of this combat. Like, it's just so much shit going on. Like, if we hadn't had time to process or talk to them without chimeras trying to eat us, like. [00:47:09] Speaker A: Yeah, like, once this combat is over, it's gonna be different. [00:47:13] Speaker C: Is this pile of ash the guy that's trying? I guess so. He didn't look like a pile of ash. That's all I remember. [00:47:20] Speaker D: I don't remember what he looked like, but anyway. [00:47:25] Speaker A: Well, to be honest though, I don't know too many humans who just spontaneously turn into piles of ash, even if they are on fire when they die. [00:47:33] Speaker B: Brianna, does a 31 hit you as the dragon tries to bite you? [00:47:38] Speaker D: I did say my shield was up, correct? [00:47:40] Speaker B: Yes, you did correct. [00:47:42] Speaker D: 31, unfortunately, does hit me. Since it is my ac. [00:47:46] Speaker B: This is the good one to hit with. [00:47:48] Speaker C: Boo. [00:47:49] Speaker B: Take 17. [00:47:52] Speaker D: Yes, I do have the ring. [00:47:54] Speaker C: Good job. Good math, Sean. [00:47:56] Speaker D: Better than me. [00:47:59] Speaker B: Take my shoes off for that one. And then it's. The lion jaws are coming at you. [00:48:07] Speaker C: Feel the. Oh, the lion jaws. My bad. Even without the crit, that would not have. [00:48:19] Speaker B: Go horns. Back to Briena. [00:48:22] Speaker C: Nope. Wait, is it doing its three? [00:48:24] Speaker B: What? [00:48:24] Speaker C: All three thing? [00:48:26] Speaker B: Yeah. No, no, no. It's three separate attacks. Yeah. 29 to hit. Green. [00:48:34] Speaker D: It does not hit. [00:48:34] Speaker C: You have chosen poorly. No, he doesn't owe us anything. But he kind of does owe these people some comeuppance, I would think. They trapped him and made a mine for dying. [00:48:53] Speaker A: Poison gold. [00:48:54] Speaker E: So I'm gonna go in here. [00:49:00] Speaker B: Move there for two. Okay, twin Talon, it is your turn. [00:49:12] Speaker C: Oh, man. Twin Talon will attack with you. Know, I don't know what else I would do other than stab this guy. He is right here just asking to be stabbed 24 flat footed. Then I will use one of my two hero points to reroll that. [00:49:30] Speaker B: Okay. [00:49:31] Speaker C: Got a seven. [00:49:37] Speaker B: What? What? [00:49:38] Speaker C: I got a seven. [00:49:40] Speaker B: Oh, that will hit. No, that'll also miss. [00:49:44] Speaker C: I wish I could just give myself a plus one or something, like, easier point. All right, so I miss. I will attack once more to the breach. Something. I got a seven. So that's a 20, which is also miss. [00:49:59] Speaker B: Would you like to use a hero point? [00:50:00] Speaker C: I only have one left. I'd rather not save it. I'd rather not use it there. [00:50:04] Speaker B: Okay. [00:50:05] Speaker C: But what I will do is step to the side. [00:50:09] Speaker B: Okay. Step into the side, Brianna, it is your turn. [00:50:15] Speaker D: So I've never used my titan grapple. [00:50:19] Speaker B: Oh, no, sorry. [00:50:21] Speaker D: Titan wrestler. [00:50:22] Speaker A: I love Titan wrestler. [00:50:25] Speaker C: It just allows you to use. It allows you to use your trip actions against people that are much bigger than you or grapple. [00:50:35] Speaker D: Like, part of me feels like she's at a point where she's just bleeding out. She's not technically, but she's just completely beat to shit. She is in almost barbarian mode. She's like, fuck this, and just, like, tries to pounce on this thing and, like, beat up its heads while trying to, like, wrestle them all into her arms. [00:50:55] Speaker A: Stop it. [00:50:56] Speaker D: Stop fighting, you stupid shit. [00:50:59] Speaker A: I love everything this. [00:51:01] Speaker C: Okay, so you need a free hand to grapple. [00:51:06] Speaker D: This is not gonna work. [00:51:07] Speaker C: So you have to get rid of your. Your shield or your sword. [00:51:13] Speaker D: Let's do the sword. Since it's been fucking failing me every turn. [00:51:16] Speaker B: So you throw your sword to the ground. [00:51:19] Speaker D: Surrender counts on it. You still have not learned your lesson, child. [00:51:25] Speaker C: Anyway. [00:51:26] Speaker D: And she will pounce. Um, I forget how to do this. Is it a necrobatics? No? No, sorry. [00:51:32] Speaker B: Athletics check is athletics check against my. What are you. You're trying to grapple it, right? Yeah. Fortitude, DC. [00:51:40] Speaker D: Okay. In my mind's eye, she pounces on it and just, like, tries to pin it down. Just, like, wail on it with her. Her gauntlet since that one time she, like, murdered a guy with one hit. [00:51:55] Speaker B: Okay, go ahead and make. [00:51:58] Speaker D: This is gonna be so dumb, but fuck it. I don't care at this point. I'm so mad. [00:52:07] Speaker C: I mean, if you're gonna do a silly thing. [00:52:14] Speaker A: Oh, fucked. [00:52:17] Speaker B: That works. [00:52:18] Speaker D: Come here, you stupid thing. [00:52:19] Speaker B: You are now grappled. You are restraining this creature. [00:52:25] Speaker C: I don't think you move, though. I think you stay right where you are. [00:52:28] Speaker B: Yeah, you just grab it like it's. Like it's a bad. Like it's a misbehaving animal. [00:52:34] Speaker C: You have it like, by the ear. [00:52:35] Speaker B: No. Yeah. [00:52:38] Speaker D: Stop it. [00:52:39] Speaker B: Say the creature is flat footed and immobilized. I can't use any actions with the attack or manipulate traits except to escape. [00:52:47] Speaker C: Is that a. [00:52:48] Speaker D: Can I still hit it? [00:52:49] Speaker C: Yeah, you can. You can still punch it. [00:52:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:51] Speaker C: Or shield. [00:52:52] Speaker B: It's flat footage. [00:52:52] Speaker C: You shield, smash it, whatever you want to do. [00:52:54] Speaker B: And I'm giving you a hero point. [00:52:55] Speaker D: I can't seem to hit anything. Thank you. Gonna use immediately because I don't know what is happening. I keep failing our macros. Okay. Like, I don't. Or is it the enfeeble? That's fucking me. [00:53:06] Speaker C: I want negative one. [00:53:08] Speaker B: Yeah, the enfeeble is more minus one. [00:53:09] Speaker C: It's rolling forward. That's not so great. [00:53:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:53:13] Speaker C: But if you usually hear a point, you can roll again. [00:53:14] Speaker D: Yeah, no, I can. 26 failing. [00:53:16] Speaker B: So 26 against its flat footed will hit. [00:53:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:53:21] Speaker D: Really? Oh, ha ha. Flat footed. Right now. [00:53:24] Speaker C: You want to know what it's like to be me? Everybody's ac is slightly lower. [00:53:27] Speaker D: Excellent take 15 points of damage. [00:53:30] Speaker C: Is it still alive? [00:53:31] Speaker B: Nope. [00:53:33] Speaker C: Damn it. [00:53:37] Speaker D: So the gauntlet strikes again. [00:53:42] Speaker B: Rianna jumps on this thing, and as she jumps on it, you just see her, like, grab the two side heads and, like, push them together and it, like, squishes the middle head and she keeps pushing and crushes the other two skulls and it falls down dead. [00:54:00] Speaker C: That was graphic. [00:54:04] Speaker A: We're marked as explicit. [00:54:05] Speaker D: I was gonna say something very bad. Say something very, very bad. [00:54:09] Speaker C: Part of me is very glad that it's dead, and part of me has been waiting for someone to hit something in my melee reach to use my opportune backstab, like, for several rounds now. But I'm more happy that it is dead than I am disappointed not to be able to do it. [00:54:25] Speaker B: All right, it is now this creature that is fighting. [00:54:30] Speaker C: Stop. [00:54:30] Speaker B: Oh, no. Brianna still has one more action. [00:54:35] Speaker D: So it's either interrupt me at the end of the episode or forget that I have one more thing to do. [00:54:42] Speaker C: Or sometimes two more things to do. [00:54:46] Speaker B: Sorry, I was just shocked by the sudden death of my second Kai man. [00:54:50] Speaker D: Yeah, I kind of want to go toward. Well, I should probably pick up my sword. That should be the. [00:54:56] Speaker C: Also, also remember, if you go out into the main room proper, there are I beams that will zap you. [00:55:01] Speaker D: Yeah, I wasn't going to. I was going to actually step towards Saraya and be her shield against that thing. So you know what? I think that's what she's gonna do. She's fucking still in this, like, frenzy mode. Yeah, beast mode. [00:55:15] Speaker B: You're just covered in Gore. Hovered in gore right now. [00:55:21] Speaker D: Okay, I'm channeling Pondwatcher. [00:55:24] Speaker B: You might want to take up a level of barbarian. [00:55:27] Speaker D: I. You know, maybe this so far has been serving her. [00:55:33] Speaker B: So as you run at this creature, it looks like you covered in Gore and is like, nope, I'm outies. Starts to run away. [00:55:41] Speaker D: But before it tries to do that, I said get over here. And I strike it because I have attack, brother. [00:55:46] Speaker B: Yep. Use that claw. [00:55:48] Speaker D: I'm gonna miss, let's be honest. Does it? 23 hit. [00:55:52] Speaker B: 23 will miss. But you have another hero point from the. From your stupid mood. If you would like to use it. [00:56:01] Speaker D: Fuck it, why not? [00:56:03] Speaker B: Okay, I said get over here. [00:56:08] Speaker D: I failed again. [00:56:09] Speaker B: There's no way 25 will miss. Yep, yep. However, you know what isn't cool? Brianna, Saraya, and maybe twin Talon. Let's see, let's see. Oh, not twin Talon. I need Brianna and Saraya to both make a. For a reflex save. I'm sorry. [00:56:34] Speaker A: Lovely. [00:56:35] Speaker D: Okay. Unfortunately, if it hits you, Saraya, I attacked, so I cannot. [00:56:42] Speaker C: Oh, well, that's. [00:56:44] Speaker D: Cannot. [00:56:45] Speaker A: I got a nat. I'm gonna hero point that. I gotta hero point that. Yeah, yep, yeah, yeah, I got a nat. 20. I got a nat one. [00:56:55] Speaker D: Yeah, hero point for sure. [00:56:57] Speaker A: I can't do worse. [00:56:59] Speaker D: I got an 1818. [00:57:01] Speaker B: Will. Will regular fail? [00:57:03] Speaker A: Better than nothing. [00:57:05] Speaker B: Yes. An 18 will regular fail. So you're gonna take full damage as a small bead flies and hits right between the two of you. Brianna takes no damage. [00:57:16] Speaker D: Oh, boy. [00:57:17] Speaker B: All right, Saraya, you're taking 35 points of damage. [00:57:21] Speaker A: I dropped. [00:57:22] Speaker B: I figured as much. [00:57:23] Speaker A: No, I had 27 hit points. [00:57:27] Speaker B: All right, so you are now dying. One. But you now go before this creature, should you survive. [00:57:35] Speaker C: Nice. [00:57:36] Speaker A: That second part is the not so encouraging part. [00:57:39] Speaker B: Okay, do I have line of sight? Knife. Sword. It is your turn. Top of fit. The 15th round of combat. [00:57:52] Speaker E: Need cardio. 1015. 2025. 31. Um, 510. [00:58:10] Speaker B: 15. Okay, so you get to the first eye. [00:58:15] Speaker E: Yeah, I thought it was like a. Like an overhang. Like I had to get under it. [00:58:19] Speaker B: Uh, it is. So you're under and you can look up into the hollowed out skull. We're just the. The bottom jaw is missing. [00:58:28] Speaker E: Okay. [00:58:32] Speaker C: What'S your thievery level? [00:58:33] Speaker E: Not expert, but I'll give it a shot. Right. Okay. Three hero points to burn. [00:58:39] Speaker B: So if you're not an expert, you actually can't even attempt it. You can do damage. [00:58:45] Speaker E: Could I use a cardinal occultism to figure out a way to neutralize it that way? [00:58:53] Speaker B: Yes. [00:58:54] Speaker E: By maybe rotating something or you know, putting it out of alignment. [00:58:58] Speaker B: Sure. Give me a. Give me a check. Okay, give me an occultism check. What did you get? [00:59:05] Speaker E: 21. [00:59:07] Speaker B: So you know that you would need to use the dispel magic spell to use magic to turn it off. [00:59:18] Speaker E: Need to use a spell I no knowledge of. Okay. Huh. Well, I guess that was three turns. So. [00:59:26] Speaker B: Yeah, twin Talon, it is your turn. [00:59:31] Speaker C: So I was thinking and I realized that I was unconscious when Saraya learned about using thievery on this thing. [00:59:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:59:37] Speaker C: I'm gonna do something else in this thing. So I did see. Okay, Saraya go down. I don't really know what's in this next room. I'm gonna find out. So. [00:59:44] Speaker B: Okay, well your dog slicers in there know that. [00:59:47] Speaker C: So five. Well there that guy is. Oh, hey. Knife sword. You're up by the head. [00:59:56] Speaker B: He's the head of you. [00:59:59] Speaker E: Yeah, I'm over here. [01:00:03] Speaker C: 2025. I'm going to stab. [01:00:06] Speaker B: Okay. [01:00:07] Speaker C: Belladonna or whatever its name is as a 34 to hit. [01:00:12] Speaker B: Is it flat footed to you then it is a regular hit. [01:00:15] Speaker C: So I don't get my sneak attack or anything. So basically the worst 16 damage. [01:00:23] Speaker B: Okay, is that it? [01:00:24] Speaker C: That's two actions. And I know that's how many you think we get, but we actually get more. [01:00:29] Speaker B: I just didn't know how many. [01:00:30] Speaker C: You know, that was it just exactly 25, which was slight. And then for my last action, I am going to run away. Go back down here. [01:00:45] Speaker B: Hey. [01:00:46] Speaker C: So twin Talon ran out of the door. He was next to sliced or jabbed the, the blue dragon thing and then ran down through the door that Brianna is Manning gave her a high five as he went by. [01:01:01] Speaker D: That's my butt. [01:01:04] Speaker C: Leaped over Saraya's body and landed on the other side of a wall. So the eyeballs. Flaming eyes, flaming hot cheetos. Can't see me. [01:01:13] Speaker B: Okay, Brianna, it is your turn. [01:01:18] Speaker D: Brianna is. Is going to of course kneel upon her friend and battlefield medicine. [01:01:25] Speaker C: I thought you were gonna kneel on her neck. Just like put her under. Shh. [01:01:28] Speaker A: It's okay, it's okay. [01:01:31] Speaker D: I'm not dead. That'd be horrible. I'm not dead. [01:01:36] Speaker A: So they could sing. [01:01:38] Speaker B: This got really dark. You guys are 15 rounds punch drunk. [01:01:44] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:01:44] Speaker C: Can you tell who barely. [01:01:47] Speaker D: How is. Oh yeah, that was close. [01:01:49] Speaker A: You almost did that. [01:01:50] Speaker D: Uh, 15. [01:01:52] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what the healers gloves. So that would have been a failure. [01:01:56] Speaker D: Yep. [01:01:56] Speaker C: Thanks, Kevin. [01:01:57] Speaker D: Two d eight flat. Right. There wasn't anything correct. [01:02:02] Speaker B: Yep. [01:02:02] Speaker D: Ugh, bullshit. [01:02:05] Speaker B: Well, she's awake with. [01:02:07] Speaker D: She's wide awake. [01:02:08] Speaker B: Four hit points. Yeah. [01:02:10] Speaker D: Um, okay, so that's one part of me wants to, like, go grab the potion and give it to her. [01:02:21] Speaker B: So you'd have to move and grab it and the next turn you can. [01:02:24] Speaker D: That's it. [01:02:25] Speaker B: I'm back. [01:02:26] Speaker D: But she's also next in the turn order. Do you have anything to heal yourself? [01:02:31] Speaker A: I can make another elixir of life. [01:02:33] Speaker D: Okay, so she's still in. She. So you wake up to Brianna covered in gore with, like, this kind of crazy look in her eye. Brianna's fucking snapped. At this point, I think she's, like. [01:02:47] Speaker C: Screaming, you don't die out. [01:02:54] Speaker B: It looks like someone. It looks like someone took a lasagna to a Gallagher show. That's what you look like. You're just covered in meat sauce. [01:03:06] Speaker C: Meat sauce? What a colorful way to describe that. [01:03:09] Speaker B: Well, there's a. There's a little bit of chunk from this. Anyway, it's okay. [01:03:13] Speaker D: We don't have to describe further. Just in case people are listening to this while cooking. [01:03:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:03:19] Speaker D: You know, where did the ricotta cheese come from? [01:03:21] Speaker C: That's what I want. [01:03:21] Speaker A: No, I really don't want to know. [01:03:24] Speaker D: I could tell you, but I'd have to charge anyway, so I'm going to make. [01:03:30] Speaker B: Well, hang on, hang on, hang on. [01:03:31] Speaker D: What? [01:03:32] Speaker B: Brianna. Sorry. [01:03:33] Speaker A: I was told that I had things to do. [01:03:36] Speaker D: I used one action so far. My next action is to run in here and say, hi, little one. And punch the shit out of it because my gauntlet fails. [01:03:51] Speaker B: Yes, that will miss stand still. [01:03:54] Speaker C: I said. [01:03:55] Speaker B: All right, Saraya, it is now your turn. [01:03:58] Speaker A: Okay, so it's my turn. Now I get to do things. [01:04:02] Speaker B: Yes. [01:04:02] Speaker A: Yes. Uh, yeah, so I'm going to make and drink my elixir of life. Okay, so that's two actions and I. Okay, there we go. Since I really love this, like, your turn thing, but it's like I can't see shit behind it. Okay. Um, but I am then going to, um. I think I'm actually out of prepared alchemy for the day, which, like, actually never happens. I mean, we've never had a combat. [01:04:27] Speaker D: This. [01:04:31] Speaker C: So I feel like this is like the Tootsie roll pop thing. Like, how many licks does it take to get to the center of zero pop? It takes 15 rounds for you to get out of prepared alchemy. [01:04:38] Speaker A: Well, that's just, that's this combat alone, because we've done other combats today, so more than 15? [01:04:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:44] Speaker A: Telekinetic projectile, I think. Oh, it's two actions, which, you know, I'm gonna walk that back. I'm gonna give Jasper two actions and he's going to do the potion for me and I'm going to telekinetic projectile this thing. [01:05:02] Speaker B: Okay. [01:05:03] Speaker A: Alrighty. So it's a 26 to hit with telekinetic projectile. [01:05:06] Speaker B: That will miss. [01:05:08] Speaker A: 26. Okay. Um, I will. I will roll my healing in just a second. [01:05:12] Speaker B: Okay. Jasper's in a different room. [01:05:15] Speaker A: Oh, fuck. That's true. Jasper. I'm so used to him. Like, just like traveling with me. Like he's on my shoulder. [01:05:20] Speaker B: Yeah. No, you specifically said you left him back to keep him out of danger. [01:05:25] Speaker A: Okay, well then I will make my potion and I will drink it next round. [01:05:30] Speaker B: Okay, so it is now my turn. And you see this creature try to start to run away from Brianna, but we'll have to see if she attacks it next week. [01:05:42] Speaker A: Of course. [01:05:45] Speaker D: Why you do this? [01:05:47] Speaker C: Are we done with this book yet? [01:05:56] Speaker B: Thank you for listening to the crack Die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape because Epic Games deserve epic music. Please visit [email protected]. pathfinder second edition Age of Ashes Adventure Adventure path are all copyright of Paizo Publishing. Please visit [email protected]. for more information.

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