The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 98 - Spinning Wheel

[00:00:37] Speaker A: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Crack Dye podcast. My name is Matt. I play Twintallen on the show episode 98. We're so close to 100. Hopefully Sean's figured something out. We'll see. Two weeks, right? Speaking of two weeks, not this weekend, but next weekend, October 2 is the next installment of our Twitch show where I run Hiya, Sean, Pete, and Brent through the agents of Edgewatch adventure path, a little thing we like to call Absalom and order. Last episode, I made everyone uncomfortable with my role playing choices, and you can witness that firsthand next weekend, October 2 at Twitch TV crackeddy or Twitch tv crackaddy. One word. Now, normally we go from 01:00 p.m. eastern time to 04:00 p.m. eastern time. But on October 2, we're going to be changing it up very slightly. We're going to be going an hour early. So we're going from noon eastern time to 03:00 p.m. eastern time. Life happens. Schedules change. It's just a one time thing. And then we'll be back at the normal schedule three weeks from then. If you haven't previously decided that you liked us enough to give us some of your money, that may be today's decision. And if you decide that you can do [email protected]. cracked Die podcast it is by your generous contributions that this show is able to exist. So once again, thank you to all of our current patrons, and we look forward to seeing more of you in there soon. One last thing before we get to the show, which I gotta say is a fun one. I had a lot of fun editing this. It's always fun listening back to a show and, you know, laughing as hard listening to it as I did at the time. So I think this is a good one. I don't want to set you up for too much here, but I think it's a good episode. But before we get to it, I just want to address something that's happened recently. A lot of things have come out. Allegations against people at Paizo. I think I've said it multiple times, we're not affiliated with them. They don't sponsor us, buy their shit, or don't we enjoy the creative content that's put out by the writers? Yes, even you, James Sutter. And we use it for our show. But our motto at the Crackdive podcast and at the Crackdye network has always been that games should be safe, fun, and inclusive for everyone, creators and players alike. And with the recent allegations against Paizo and the company's treatment of employees, we are joining in the call to action for hash paizoaccountability, or, as I like to say, pound sign Paizo accountability and wish to see these matters investigated and taken seriously. So if you go and you look for hashtag Paizo accountability, if you search for that, you'll see a list of requests from people. And this isn't, like, crazy stuff. This is hiring third party arbitrators or people to investigate claims that have happened about, you know, sexual misconduct or mistreatment of workers, things like that. So it's little stuff like that. It's really baseline, right. At this point in life, in the world in 2021. I know the pandemic has caused a lot of things to spiral out of control, but, you know, our treatment of other people really shouldn't be that, right? So I don't mean to be on a soapbox. Just want to point that out. And if you're unaware of what happened, I encourage you to look into it. But for right now, unless you're going to our Patreon and signing up, let's just get back to the table for episode 98, spinning Wheel. [00:03:50] Speaker B: Welcome to the 98th episode of the Cracked Die podcast. [00:03:57] Speaker A: Here we go. [00:03:59] Speaker C: Almost triple digits, guys. [00:04:01] Speaker D: I was gonna say, have we really been at this. This long? [00:04:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:04] Speaker B: Well, yes, and again, if you add in all the extra, like, sub episodes and our blackout episode, we've been at it way longer. [00:04:13] Speaker A: Dom episodes. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:15] Speaker D: All right. [00:04:16] Speaker B: Ah, no shaming here. No, that's. [00:04:18] Speaker D: That's all I got for. For that one. [00:04:20] Speaker A: I was doing both. [00:04:21] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just have to say, we just got another patron. [00:04:25] Speaker D: Yes. [00:04:26] Speaker B: And it's Christine's grandma. [00:04:30] Speaker D: Thanks, grandma. [00:04:31] Speaker E: Thanks, Nana. [00:04:32] Speaker C: It's my dad and my grandma now, and I think it's adorable. [00:04:35] Speaker B: Yeah. There's no excuse for anyone else out there for not joining our Patreon. [00:04:39] Speaker C: Also, my dad has. My dad has a mug, and I have to tell him that we just added, like, baseball caps because he's a dad from Long island, so he wears them all the time. [00:04:47] Speaker D: That is so cute. Oh, my gosh. So here's the real question here. Is your grandmother gonna be joining our discord now? [00:04:55] Speaker B: Oh, my God, yes. [00:04:57] Speaker A: And do we need to edit what we say? [00:04:59] Speaker C: No, not really. She's apparently listened to a couple episodes so far, and she says it reminds her of the radio programs, and the rules mean absolutely nothing, but she likes following the story. [00:05:10] Speaker A: That's fair. [00:05:11] Speaker C: And I warned her. I'm like, I swear like a sailor. So you're probably gonna get used to hearing some words you don't usually hear me say at your house. [00:05:18] Speaker B: Non grandma words. Also the equivalent of non Disney words. [00:05:23] Speaker A: I have a friend at work who listens to the podcast. He tells me he does, and I can't imagine that he gets anything out of the rules stuff, but I'm guessing he falls along for the story, so that's perfectly fine. That's the thing about a non narrative podcast. Like this episode. Episode. There's a story and there's, you know, character development, hopefully. And, you know, it's like watching a tv show, but it's in your ear. [00:05:46] Speaker C: It's a good time. [00:05:47] Speaker D: There's character development. [00:05:49] Speaker A: There is. At some points. [00:05:51] Speaker D: Hmm. All right. [00:05:52] Speaker A: I mean, I'm pretty sure in the first twelve episodes or so, we had some character development. [00:05:55] Speaker D: Oh, that. That is true. [00:05:57] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:57] Speaker B: That's probably it. I also have a co worker who plays this show for his young children. [00:06:03] Speaker D: Oh, no. [00:06:05] Speaker B: As bedtime story. [00:06:07] Speaker D: No. [00:06:08] Speaker A: Is it like a cautionary tale? Is that what we're doing? Like something like that? [00:06:12] Speaker C: I definitely use some words that are not suitable for children. [00:06:15] Speaker D: Frequently. [00:06:16] Speaker E: I am not suitable for children. [00:06:18] Speaker B: I haven't warned him about. Ooh. Yet. [00:06:20] Speaker A: Hello, children. Hello. If you're a child and you're listening to this, tell your fucking parents they're fucking horrible. [00:06:27] Speaker B: He's our pay. He's a patron, too, so, no, he's a wonderful person. [00:06:31] Speaker A: And then take their walleth and continue to give us all their money. It's the secret between us. [00:06:39] Speaker B: I also will tell you that I know that his child beats him quite routinely at Star Realms, the card game, and also wingspanned. So there you go. [00:06:51] Speaker D: That's amazing. [00:06:52] Speaker B: This kid is like five, just started kindergarten, however old you are in kindergarten. [00:06:57] Speaker C: So five or six. [00:06:58] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:07:00] Speaker C: I think my niece is about that age. [00:07:02] Speaker B: I don't know if the kid is super smart or my coworker is just really bad at card games and wingspan. [00:07:09] Speaker A: I don't think I played either of those games, so I couldn't comment. [00:07:12] Speaker C: But anyway, we love each and every one of you, all of our patrons. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Yes. Thank you. I really do appreciate everybody out there that helps us out. [00:07:20] Speaker C: Absolutely. [00:07:20] Speaker E: Wait, where can they get all that sweet, sweet merch from? [00:07:23] Speaker B: Oh, all of those are linked in the information section of your podcast. So if you just look down below. That's right, go ahead, look down. You can swipe up a little bit. There you go. There you go. [00:07:33] Speaker A: Not if you're driving. Not. [00:07:35] Speaker B: Not if you're driving. Yeah, if you're driving, please don't do this. But you'll see a link to our merch store and a link to our Patreon. Our website. Yeah, go ahead. You can click them. We'll wait. [00:07:48] Speaker C: We'll be here. [00:07:48] Speaker D: Wait, Timothy. No. You are driving. Stop it. [00:07:51] Speaker B: Yes, stop if. Hey, hey, I see you driving there. Don't do it. [00:07:55] Speaker C: You in Perth. Stop it. [00:07:59] Speaker B: Okay, let's get back to this game. Yes. [00:08:01] Speaker F: Do the leggings come in my size? [00:08:03] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:04] Speaker F: Sweet. [00:08:07] Speaker A: Next time we do board games, Robert, I want to see you in some crack. Die leggings. [00:08:11] Speaker B: Yes, please. We'll post it onto the discord, which you can join by joining our Patreon. Anyway, enough plugs. Let's get back to this game. So last time we played, you had all managed to deal with the cruths. In the boathouse, you found a bunch of oil and tinder twigs. That knife sort decided to drink the oily liquid, and we wound up finding out that those were alchemist fire. Moderate alchemist fire. [00:08:42] Speaker C: Yes, which I told you before you drank it. [00:08:45] Speaker B: Then you also discovered a bound and gagged, large, green skinned woman who negotiated her release from a point of. Of being bound and gagged and trying to bilk you for some gold and mercenary. While she was tied up, you decided to let her keep the skins of the crufts, and then you headed off to the boats, the large boat that is docked here. [00:09:10] Speaker A: The genie's smile. [00:09:11] Speaker B: Yes, the genie's smile. Your new friend. Ooh. Has decided to accompany you, and you ran into some blood bores along the way and a. A couple sneaks. Now you have boarded the genie smile, knowing that there are captive people somewhere on the boat. You chased off a couple of the mercenary sailors that were on the boat, and you've bound and gay. Well, you've tied up and immobilized a purple skinned, demon looking thing. [00:09:43] Speaker C: Yeah, isn't he, like, caught in black tentacles or something? [00:09:45] Speaker A: Yes, that's what that mark is on the. Yeah, on the thing. Okay, now I'm remembering. [00:09:52] Speaker B: Yeah, that was knife sword casting, one of my favorite spells he's ever decided to pick up. [00:09:58] Speaker A: I believe that's the land kraken spell. [00:10:00] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:10:01] Speaker C: Which would you prefer, this or gravity? [00:10:03] Speaker B: Well, neither. Pick. Neither. Anyway, we're there. They're restrained by the land crack and spell. U had managed to deal a large chunk of damage to this purple skinned creature, and that's where we left off. It is now the top of round two, and it is twin talons turn. [00:10:31] Speaker A: Okay, so I mean, we're still fighting this guy. If I remember correctly, I had hit him. So if I hit him, he's got to build inning strike where all my attacks do extra two d six damage. [00:10:42] Speaker B: I'm just going to show you all of picture of what his face looks like. [00:10:46] Speaker C: Oh, that's, um. [00:10:48] Speaker A: Looks like skeletor and steroids. [00:10:51] Speaker D: Yeah, with horns. [00:10:53] Speaker C: Yeah, with like, it's like if you took skeletor and made him a dinosaur. [00:10:58] Speaker A: So skelesaur. [00:11:02] Speaker C: But an anthropomorphic dinosaur. Not like a straight up, like a. [00:11:06] Speaker B: Furry version of the dinosaur. [00:11:08] Speaker C: We're not getting into the early. [00:11:10] Speaker A: Which are scalies, as we've discussed in the past. [00:11:13] Speaker B: Oh, that's right. Scaly Scalies. [00:11:17] Speaker D: I hate it here. [00:11:18] Speaker B: Hi, grandma. [00:11:20] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:21] Speaker B: Okay. Twin talon. [00:11:24] Speaker A: All right, so twin Talon is gonna do the thing that he does and he's going to stab this guy. [00:11:30] Speaker B: 27 will hit. [00:11:32] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:33] Speaker D: Hell yeah. [00:11:34] Speaker A: So I am going to reapply the debilitating strike at plus two d six. Okay, so 23 damage. 23 damage, which is two d six regular weapon damage. Two d six sneak attack, two d six from the debilitating strike, one from backstabber, and then the plus ten from just normal plus damages. So I rolled pretty poorly with all of the dice, but it's fine. So now that that's been hit once, let's do it again. [00:12:03] Speaker B: All right. Oh, he's also sickened. I forgot about that. [00:12:06] Speaker A: And he is flat footed to me as well, by the way. [00:12:09] Speaker B: Yes. [00:12:10] Speaker A: It's 34 to hit. [00:12:11] Speaker B: 34 will crit. Okay, great, because he is flat footed to you. [00:12:18] Speaker D: Hell yeah. [00:12:19] Speaker A: Number 51, piercing. Tongue piercing. The target must succeed at a DC five flat. Check to cast spells with the verbal component until healed. So not great, but it's double damage either way. [00:12:31] Speaker B: Well, actually, it is great because he is a caster. Sweet. [00:12:34] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't remember that being true, but great. [00:12:38] Speaker B: That's because he hadn't been able to cast a spell yet. [00:12:42] Speaker A: Oh, good. Let's keep that to be the thing. No spells for you, sir. [00:12:46] Speaker B: So double damage. [00:12:48] Speaker A: Okay, so that plus. Okay, so that's 27 times two is. [00:12:54] Speaker B: 54 damage for damage. [00:12:58] Speaker D: Damn. [00:12:59] Speaker B: Describe your kill of this demon. [00:13:03] Speaker D: Nice. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Okay, so that was tongue piercing. So Twintalon gets the first strike in. Kind of catches him in the ribs. And as the creature's hands kind of go down to grab at it, twin Talon takes his short sword and thrusts it up through the bottom of his jaw, through the top of his head, and then pulls it out clean. And the demon crumples to the floor in a sulfury smelling heap as black. [00:13:27] Speaker B: Ichor leaks out of him. Saraya, it is your turn. [00:13:31] Speaker A: That was two actions. [00:13:32] Speaker B: Oh, no, it isn't that. It's still twin Talon. Sorry. [00:13:35] Speaker C: Yeah, I was gonna say I always. [00:13:37] Speaker B: Want to end it on like a cool finish like that. [00:13:40] Speaker A: Yeah, right. [00:13:41] Speaker D: That is fair. [00:13:41] Speaker A: So. So twin Talon is this massive tentacles in between him and like everything else. So he is going to move up the stairs to the southwest 15. [00:13:54] Speaker B: There's nothing up there. There's. It's the. What's the steering wheel of a ship called? [00:13:59] Speaker A: The helm. [00:14:00] Speaker B: Steering wheel? The helm. [00:14:01] Speaker D: Yes, steering wheel. [00:14:02] Speaker B: Now the big wooden steering wheel is up there, but other than that there's nothing else there. There is a door, but that is by the land. [00:14:15] Speaker A: Okay, so twin town just kind of gets up to get some perspective. There's nobody on the aft deck, so he will say as much with nobody up here. And then he'll point to the two sailors who are still on the deck of the ship. I'll say it's never too late to surrender. And then Taysani is going to. [00:14:33] Speaker B: She's 5ft in the air. [00:14:35] Speaker A: Who is. [00:14:36] Speaker B: She's flying. [00:14:37] Speaker A: Yes, yes, she's flying. So 510, 1516, 253-03-5405 so she flies to the bow of the ship, the front of the ship, and starts squawking in the sailor's face. [00:14:51] Speaker C: Okay, Serea, she's gonna look around and take stock of the situation. Brianna, do you have that handled over there? [00:15:00] Speaker D: I think so. I think it should be okay. [00:15:03] Speaker C: Wonderful. So she's going to follow Tasani then to that sailor. You see how far that's gonna take her? I will take my 30ft of movement for one action and then I think I'll take two actions to move because otherwise I'm out of my bomb throwing range. I don't feel like taking those penalties. And then she is going to pull out. Let's go for moderate frost vial. She's gonna lob it at that sailor. All right, how's a 31? [00:15:32] Speaker D: Hell yeah. [00:15:33] Speaker B: A 31 will hit straight. [00:15:38] Speaker C: So that, I believe is two d, six cold damage and a ten foot speed penalty. [00:15:44] Speaker B: Great. [00:15:45] Speaker C: I'm just saying you ain't going nowhere, girl. All right, so eight damage. Yeah, I had to move twice to get there, so I believe that's my whole action. She'll just. He did ask if he wanted to surrender. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Knife, sword. [00:15:57] Speaker F: I'm gonna cast magic missile. [00:16:01] Speaker B: At what level? [00:16:03] Speaker F: Let's go all the way to level four. Three actions. No better yet, level six. [00:16:09] Speaker B: And which mercenary are you aiming at? [00:16:12] Speaker F: The one in the bow. [00:16:13] Speaker B: One at the bow. [00:16:15] Speaker A: Do you casting a level six magic missile? [00:16:17] Speaker F: Level five. Okay, I did say six. Okay, but it's labeled as level five and six, so I just gotta read the category. [00:16:26] Speaker A: Got it. [00:16:27] Speaker F: They're the same. [00:16:30] Speaker A: Worst. [00:16:31] Speaker B: Yeah. How much damage is that? [00:16:34] Speaker F: 39. [00:16:37] Speaker A: How many actions did you use? [00:16:39] Speaker F: Three. [00:16:40] Speaker A: Three. [00:16:40] Speaker F: Okay, about tree. 50. [00:16:44] Speaker B: So a whole lot of little bolts fly out of your hands and hit this sailor in the chest. And they stagger back a little bit, not leaving their square as they get machine gunned with magic. All right, it is now. One of the sailors turns. The sailor is going to attempt to break free of these black tentacles. Knife, sword. What is your spell? [00:17:09] Speaker F: DC 29. [00:17:12] Speaker B: 29. And they need to use athletics. Oh, no, it's just an unarmed attack against. Oh, boy. That's not good. [00:17:24] Speaker C: Doesn't sound like they're very good at unarmed attacks. [00:17:26] Speaker B: Seven. [00:17:27] Speaker F: That looks promising. [00:17:28] Speaker B: That is a critical failure. [00:17:29] Speaker A: Also. That can't possibly be true. That can't be right. They have a plus four to hit. [00:17:34] Speaker B: They have a plus four strength. [00:17:36] Speaker A: Uh huh. And they still get all their proficiency bonus. [00:17:38] Speaker B: Oh, okay, okay, sorry. [00:17:40] Speaker F: Let me. [00:17:40] Speaker B: Let me roll that again. [00:17:41] Speaker A: No, no, you rolled a three. We're gonna keep that, but let's just. [00:17:44] Speaker F: I agree. [00:17:44] Speaker D: I concur. [00:17:46] Speaker B: I rolled a three. [00:17:47] Speaker A: Let's just make sure the modifier is correct. There you go. [00:17:50] Speaker B: Plus 15 is still not enough. [00:17:54] Speaker A: 18. [00:17:54] Speaker B: Still a critical fail. [00:17:56] Speaker A: Okay. [00:17:56] Speaker B: And I don't get free. I can't attempt an escape until my next turn. [00:18:02] Speaker C: You just sit there in abject horror, contemplating how your life turned into a hentai film. [00:18:08] Speaker B: Nope, not just that. They're going to swing at one of the black tentacles with their scimitar, and that spells DC, so. 29 again. [00:18:18] Speaker A: And this is their second attack, by the way. [00:18:20] Speaker B: It is. [00:18:22] Speaker A: That's a two. [00:18:23] Speaker D: Yikes. I almost feel bad on a die. [00:18:28] Speaker A: Two on the die. [00:18:29] Speaker F: Are you out of quarters yet? [00:18:30] Speaker B: It's a critical fail. And you know what happens when you critically fail an attack? [00:18:35] Speaker A: You draw a card. [00:18:36] Speaker B: Everyone gets a card. This is melee slipped. I fall prone. [00:18:43] Speaker A: I can't think of anything worse than falling prone into a mass of probate. [00:18:47] Speaker C: Like, I don't know when they already have you. [00:18:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh. Oh, no. There's just squelching sounds coming from that part of the deck. [00:18:58] Speaker D: I think. [00:19:00] Speaker F: If you think about it from the tentacles perspective, they just appeared in this world, and, you know, they're brand new and very curious, and they really only have one sensory sense, you know, like. [00:19:11] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like toddlers putting keys in their mouth. [00:19:13] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:19:14] Speaker B: You hear a scream coming from that corner. The other sailor, the one that is frozen and just got machine gunned with magic, will take their first action, moving 15ft to climb up on the barrel. Second action is to jump off the boat dock and land in the water, which is 50. Oh, I gotta do falling damage. [00:19:40] Speaker A: Yep. It's half into the water. He doesn't jump off the dock. Right. He jumps off the front of the boat. [00:19:49] Speaker B: The bow. Yeah. Legendary. Eats a happy day. So if they fall 20ft, so they take five damage. Five damage. But they take half of that, so they. [00:20:00] Speaker A: No, no, no. I've already done all the math. 20ft is ten damage divided by two is five. [00:20:06] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:20:07] Speaker C: How did you get two? [00:20:09] Speaker B: I have five. And then they start to swim away, clearly surrendering and trying to get away. [00:20:16] Speaker D: That is completely fair. Yep. [00:20:19] Speaker B: Up. Oh, no. Is anyone going to pursue the fleeing sailor? [00:20:23] Speaker D: Nah. [00:20:24] Speaker C: Do we have any reason to? [00:20:25] Speaker A: Taysani's just gonna follow them and land on their head. Scream in their face. [00:20:32] Speaker C: Desana and Jasper together or both. [00:20:34] Speaker A: Just like the sun is a medium creature, so it's like a person. Just like landing on your head as you're trying to swim away while you're. [00:20:41] Speaker C: Trying to swim, that's gonna drown them. [00:20:46] Speaker D: Carry me. Carry me. [00:20:49] Speaker B: Tasani has been spending too much time with knife sword effects. [00:20:54] Speaker A: She's trying to get in the guy's backpack. She seemed nice. [00:21:00] Speaker C: I mean, if they have anything shiny, Jasper probably is harrying them for it too. So. [00:21:06] Speaker B: Ooh, it is your turn. [00:21:08] Speaker E: So, anybody left? I don't think so. [00:21:11] Speaker B: There's this one sailor who's being groped by tentacles. [00:21:16] Speaker E: Okay. [00:21:18] Speaker B: But you would have to move into the tentacles, which means they would attack at you. [00:21:22] Speaker E: Um, you know, I don't think anybody knows this about me, but I've been on a pirate ship, so I'm just gonna walk up to the helm and go have myself little party up on top. Meowd. [00:21:36] Speaker B: So. Ooh. Comes up next to twin Talon, stands by the ship wheel, draws out. [00:21:45] Speaker A: Oh, Shawn. [00:21:45] Speaker B: Yes. [00:21:46] Speaker D: She just said it. She just said it. There you go. [00:21:53] Speaker B: The roundy wood thing with the spiky bits on the outside. [00:21:59] Speaker C: Look. [00:22:00] Speaker D: I think the turny turny, it hooks. [00:22:04] Speaker A: To the flippity flap in the back. [00:22:05] Speaker B: Of the ship to make it go. [00:22:07] Speaker A: This way and that way. [00:22:08] Speaker C: The spinny, spinny steery steering. [00:22:13] Speaker D: We love you, Sean. [00:22:16] Speaker C: Look, I didn't marry him for his brain. [00:22:20] Speaker D: Just be pretty. Just be pretty. [00:22:22] Speaker B: It's not the rugged good looks either. So we're in trouble. [00:22:25] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:22:28] Speaker C: I mean, I think he's approaching himbo territory. [00:22:31] Speaker D: Oh. [00:22:34] Speaker C: Polite, strong, dumb as fuck. [00:22:41] Speaker D: Shawn the himbo. I stand for Shawn the himbo. I love it. Oh, my gosh. Yes. [00:22:49] Speaker B: Okay. She draws a long sword, makes a swinging noise with it as she swings her sword around. Is that all you're gonna do? Am I. [00:23:06] Speaker E: Am I not at the steering wheel? I'm just. I'm just pretending to drive right now. [00:23:10] Speaker B: Okay, you make vroom, vroom noises. Got it. [00:23:17] Speaker D: It's fine. Everything's fine. Just. Just let them have their moments of spinny spinny, turny turny and broom broom. Okay, it's fine. All right, I think I'm gonna set a. Is it a condition that if knife sword does dispel the tentacles, she will move to at least incapacitate the sailor, hopefully either grapple or pin them or tie them up so we can question them. So I will hopefully be able to speak as a free action. Be like knife sword. Let me. Let me pass the tentacles. Let's get to this mercenary. I think they're spooked enough. [00:23:55] Speaker B: I also forgot on knife swords turn, please roll one d six damage. [00:24:00] Speaker D: Okay. [00:24:01] Speaker B: Because the tentacles do damage to the sailor. [00:24:04] Speaker F: Boom. [00:24:05] Speaker B: Of course, of course, of course, of course. [00:24:07] Speaker A: He gets a six. [00:24:08] Speaker C: Whoo. [00:24:09] Speaker B: So, yes, you definitely hear screaming. All right, so Rihanna is delaying that. If knife sword dismisses the tentacles, she will move in them. All right, twin Talon, you're at the spinning wheel thing. [00:24:24] Speaker A: Yep. Twintalen is going to delay, okay, because there's nothing happening. And I don't think she probably does. I think she's probably delaying as well, because ready means you only ready one action. So I think we're all just kind of waiting until there isn't a bunch of tentacles in our way. [00:24:41] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. [00:24:41] Speaker C: If it seems like the plan is to drop the tentacles, she'll move like, 10ft, because that takes her a little closer to this trapped sailor without being in the mass of tentacles. And then, yeah, she'll also wait. [00:24:52] Speaker F: Knife sword, no problem, I'll drop the tentacles. But really, before I do that, could you please sign this? [00:25:00] Speaker D: What? Sign what? [00:25:02] Speaker F: Nothing. It's just a little zoning rezoning form. [00:25:05] Speaker D: Why is this a waiver? What? What waiver this from, or for rather. [00:25:10] Speaker B: I just. [00:25:11] Speaker F: I just. I'm just thinking of opening a little business. [00:25:13] Speaker D: Hmm. Sound suspicious. Let's. Let's just not and say we did. [00:25:19] Speaker F: Well, I'll table it for now. We'll bring it back later. And he drops the tentacles. [00:25:23] Speaker B: Okay, so that's one action. [00:25:26] Speaker F: We're gonna just. Magic missile. [00:25:29] Speaker B: All right. No, what level? [00:25:31] Speaker F: Level two. Two action magic missile. [00:25:34] Speaker B: They get hit. Seven points of damage as more magic flies out of your hands and just riddles this character with magical bullets. Alright, so, Brianna, would you like to act now? [00:25:45] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:25:46] Speaker B: All right. [00:25:46] Speaker D: Gonna double move. How are they doing currently? Are they still prone? [00:25:53] Speaker B: They are still. They're still slipped on the deck. They're down. They're kind of covering themselves with their arms, like, oh, God, don't let those tentacles hit me anymore. [00:26:02] Speaker C: I'm not going to ask an invasive question about that. [00:26:05] Speaker B: Nope. [00:26:05] Speaker D: Yeah, let's leave it as yep. So in that case, Branna is going to put the tip of her scimitar against the sailor's throat and ask, do you yield? [00:26:17] Speaker B: Uh huh. Yes. Yes. Oh, God, yes. [00:26:21] Speaker D: I feel like she would not attack somebody when they're down. [00:26:26] Speaker A: Yeah, it seems very dishonorable. [00:26:27] Speaker B: Yeah, they definitely yield and start crying. I just took it for the job, for the money. [00:26:34] Speaker D: I understand. [00:26:35] Speaker A: Twintalon will look at. Ooh. Pointedly, and then he will, without breaking eye contact, just walk down onto the deck until he basically breaks the plane where he can't see her anymore. Choo choo, baby, come back. [00:26:54] Speaker B: You can blame it on me. [00:26:57] Speaker D: Oh, boy. [00:26:58] Speaker B: All right, so combat is over. [00:27:00] Speaker D: Well, look around. And should we question them? What should we say? Guys, help me out here, please. [00:27:06] Speaker A: So I'm just gonna go over what we know, the state of things to be, and then just. Sean, if you could just correct me if I'm wrong. [00:27:13] Speaker B: Will do. [00:27:13] Speaker A: There were three places that we were told to go. [00:27:16] Speaker B: Correct. [00:27:17] Speaker A: One was the boathouse, because that's where they were gonna, like, set the fire from. So we went there first. [00:27:20] Speaker D: Mm hmm. [00:27:21] Speaker A: This was the ship where they had taken a great deal of prisoners, too. This is their getaway vessel. And then the last one was the six shields or nine smokehouse. [00:27:32] Speaker B: Correct. [00:27:32] Speaker A: Nine shield smokehouse. It had fewer shields when I was here last time. So the purpose of us being here was to liberate anybody on board and also cut off any escape of people when we go to the nine shield smokehouse, if they do get away, they would come back to a ship which is full of armed peasants, basically. So I don't know what we would ask the sailor at this point, other than maybe details about who else is on this boat. And, you know, what we could expect at the smokehouse. [00:27:57] Speaker C: Where are the prisoners? Do you have the key? [00:28:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:00] Speaker E: Who's gonna run down and just, like, grab him by his shirt and say, I want my ship back. [00:28:06] Speaker D: Well, that's a good place to start. Do you know where this young lady's ship is? I suppose. [00:28:12] Speaker B: Um, yeah, we sank it. [00:28:17] Speaker D: Oh, well, there you go. Put them down. I still need to ask questions. [00:28:22] Speaker B: My baby. [00:28:23] Speaker C: My baby. [00:28:30] Speaker E: Well, uh, she throws them over. [00:28:33] Speaker A: No. [00:28:35] Speaker D: I said they still need. Oh, I give up. [00:28:38] Speaker B: Splash. And they go overboard. [00:28:44] Speaker C: What skill is it to use rope tricks? Because, I mean, if we can, like, lasso them. [00:28:51] Speaker D: Wait, do I have a reaction? [00:28:56] Speaker B: I will give you a reaction to try and grab them. Yes. [00:29:00] Speaker D: What do I roll? [00:29:02] Speaker B: We're gonna call this grabbing an edge. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Okay, so reflex. [00:29:07] Speaker B: So give me a reflex. [00:29:09] Speaker D: Save 27. [00:29:12] Speaker B: All right. You managed to catch their wrist as they're flying over the edge. [00:29:16] Speaker D: Brianna will be saying some very less than savory things under her breath in. Oh, geez. Virizion. There we go. Okay, and pull them back over. Be like, apologies. Our companion is. Was very fond of her sheep. So to avoid that happening again, we would very much appreciate any information you may have, as well as perhaps the. The keys to the. The cells where the prisoners are kept. [00:29:46] Speaker B: I was just hired. I don't have any of the keys. They're down below. There's down below where the guards are. [00:29:55] Speaker D: And the guards would have these keys? [00:29:57] Speaker B: Yes. [00:29:58] Speaker D: Good. Well, then I'm going to release your wrist and pray. [00:30:03] Speaker B: Are they still dangling over the water? [00:30:05] Speaker D: Maybe. [00:30:06] Speaker B: Okay. [00:30:07] Speaker D: No, no, no. I pulled them back, but I'm still holding fast. I'm going to release your wrist. I cannot vouch for what my companion will do, so I would very much suggest you run to safety. [00:30:20] Speaker E: Who makes the. Pointing at my eyes. Pointing at his eyes and draws her finger across her neck. [00:30:26] Speaker B: Would anyone else like to do anything? While this interrogation scene is happening? [00:30:31] Speaker A: Twintal would like to search the demon to see if he has anything on him. [00:30:36] Speaker B: Okay. All right. Knife, sword. [00:30:38] Speaker F: I'm just gonna fill out some paperwork. [00:30:40] Speaker B: Okay. And, Soraya, can I assume that the. [00:30:45] Speaker C: Door near twin Talon is to, like, be the captain's quarters? [00:30:49] Speaker B: Yes, that is a good guess. [00:30:51] Speaker C: Cool. I'm gonna figure out where we can get below, Dex. [00:30:53] Speaker B: All right, so, Matt, as you are searching the demon's body, he doesn't have anything. I mean, he's wearing basically a loincloth to cover his bits, but other than that. All right, actually, that's not true. You find a key. [00:31:14] Speaker A: Okay, that's kind of what I was looking for, honestly. Was a key or keys. [00:31:19] Speaker B: Yes, but. [00:31:20] Speaker A: Cut. All right, Quinton will take the key. [00:31:22] Speaker B: The mercenary looks at oo, looks at Brianna, looks at the motion oo is making at them and decides to jump overboard and start to swim away because getting to the other side of the boat is not possible at this moment. So they splash down and start to swim away. [00:31:43] Speaker D: Are they okay? Do they survive? [00:31:46] Speaker B: Oh yeah, they're fine. [00:31:47] Speaker D: Okay. [00:31:48] Speaker B: It's actually a really nice dive. Okay, good form, very little splash. [00:31:53] Speaker C: Nice golf claps all around. [00:31:57] Speaker B: Nines and tens from everyone except for the uslavian judge who gives it a five. Saraya, you see that there is a ladder leading down to below deck through this grate. [00:32:11] Speaker C: Is there a way to pick up the grate? [00:32:13] Speaker B: Yes, you can lift up the grate and move it and you see a ladder going down. [00:32:18] Speaker C: Shall we see if the prisoners are down there? [00:32:21] Speaker D: Might as well. The sailors said something about the prisoners being down below, so might as well go and look. [00:32:27] Speaker E: I'm just saying I call dibs on this ship when we are done. This is my ship now. [00:32:31] Speaker D: Your ship? Absolutely. [00:32:33] Speaker E: Look at me. I am the captain now. [00:32:35] Speaker D: Hey, it works. Absolutely. [00:32:38] Speaker A: Yeah. So once Twintellen has the key, he's gonna try it on the door that's next to him. [00:32:42] Speaker B: It unlocks and it opens. [00:32:45] Speaker A: Great. [00:32:45] Speaker B: It is completely empty and dark except for the lamp on the table and the candle next to the bed. This large cabin is as wide as the ship. A single bed occupies a wide nook on the starboard wall next to a chest of drawers built into the ship's hall. A heavy table with a few chairs around it bears several large sheets of parchment. [00:33:09] Speaker A: Okay, so the bed is to my left as I come in. Alright, Twintalon's left. There is a set of drawers built into the ship's hull near the bed. And then there are papers on the table. [00:33:22] Speaker B: Yes, that is correct. [00:33:23] Speaker A: Okay, so Twintalon will come in if other people are coming in with him. [00:33:28] Speaker D: Yep. Brianna will follow as always. [00:33:31] Speaker A: Why don't you check out the papers on the table? I'm gonna see if there's anything interesting in these drawers. [00:33:35] Speaker E: Okay, who's gonna fall behind and come crashing and be like oh, that bed's mine, and jump right on it. [00:33:40] Speaker B: Okay. It is. It is surprisingly comfortable. The bed. Sereya, what are you doing? [00:33:45] Speaker C: I'll follow along, do a cursory search for anything interesting that might be more magical or alchemical in nature. We're just shiny. [00:33:55] Speaker B: So Brianna, as you look at the papers, you notice that they are detailed diagrams of the ship you are currently on. And you see pencil markings like adjusting how the ship is configured below deck, and it looks like someone is trying to retrofit the ship to hold more slaves. [00:34:16] Speaker D: Hmm, I see. I will pass that information along to my companions, saying that it does appear that they were continuing to try and make the ship more slave friendly. Let us. Let us say slave inclusive. I'm not comfortable talking anymore. [00:34:36] Speaker A: Well, I guess if there's enough people here, they might have ran in a room and thought their fortunes were going to be good enough that they could afford to increase the capacity of the ship. [00:34:44] Speaker D: Indeed, I. [00:34:44] Speaker C: Well, that's not exactly acceptable. [00:34:47] Speaker D: No. [00:34:47] Speaker A: Do I find anything interesting in the drawers? [00:34:49] Speaker B: Absolutely. You find a sack of gold. As you open it up, you notice that it is. Has gold, silver, platinum, and is a total of 540 gold pieces. Like value of 540 gold. [00:35:07] Speaker A: Okay, so that's when talent will put that into his bag of holdings. [00:35:10] Speaker B: You also notice a bright green cape with gold trim. [00:35:16] Speaker A: Okay, I'll take that out. Shake it out. [00:35:19] Speaker B: Give me a perception check. [00:35:21] Speaker A: Okay. Perception. And if it is visual based, I get a plus two. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Just FYI, it is visual based. [00:35:27] Speaker A: 31. [00:35:28] Speaker B: All right. You critically succeed. Okay, so as you look at it, you notice that in the golden lining, you notice that a name is stitched into it. Sidrani Vashnarstil. I'm going to put that into the chat so you can all see how badly I said that it's okay. [00:35:49] Speaker A: Is that. Is that a name that I recognize? [00:35:51] Speaker B: Well, since you critically succeeded, you remember that last name is one of the noble families of Contarga. And you know that that family owns a business called Sunset imports. [00:36:08] Speaker A: Sunset imports. Okay, does that name sound familiar? [00:36:11] Speaker B: Yes. That is not the first time you've heard that name. [00:36:14] Speaker A: Wasn't that something to do with the. The Scarlet triad? [00:36:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:36:19] Speaker D: Good memory, honey. [00:36:20] Speaker A: I vaguely remember. Maybe that's where the. The guy with the eyes so light, they look like they were empty, was supposed to meet his contact. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Matt, take a hero point for remembering that. [00:36:33] Speaker D: Hell, yeah. Yeah. Good job. [00:36:35] Speaker B: That is absolutely correct. [00:36:37] Speaker C: Yeah, I definitely remember hearing about Kentucky, but I did not remember those details. So good on you, Matt. [00:36:42] Speaker D: Absolutely. [00:36:43] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:36:43] Speaker D: Hell, yeah. [00:36:45] Speaker B: This item obviously belongs to that name that I put in there. [00:36:52] Speaker A: And so Drani Vashner still. [00:36:54] Speaker B: Yes, their family is a noble family of Contago, and that family owned a business called Sunset imports. [00:37:03] Speaker A: Okay, do we think that they still own it? [00:37:06] Speaker B: Uh, yes, we think that that is true, that they would still own it. [00:37:11] Speaker A: Okay, so I'm trying to learn to deduce is. Is this person, like, do we think that the Scarlet Triad has, like, disposed of them and taken their stuff? Or do we think that they are in league with the Scarlet Triad? [00:37:25] Speaker C: I'm going to assume they're in league. That is my. [00:37:28] Speaker D: Yeah, that's. That's the. The feeling I'm getting too. [00:37:32] Speaker A: So twin talent is gonna hold the cape up to knife sword. I'm like, knife sword? Does this. Does this smell magical to you? [00:37:38] Speaker F: Smells musty to me. [00:37:41] Speaker B: Knife sword. [00:37:42] Speaker F: I'm trying to detect magic on it. [00:37:45] Speaker B: So, yes, there is magic. And if I. If you look in the chat, you will see the list of skills you can click on to roll to see if you can identify. There we go. Twin Talon six seed. [00:38:00] Speaker A: Of course. [00:38:01] Speaker D: Good job, honey. [00:38:02] Speaker C: I was about to have Jasper roll because he has speech. Now. [00:38:08] Speaker B: You recognize this item as what is called a cape of Volanthen. [00:38:14] Speaker A: The cave of the Mount Bank. I love these. [00:38:17] Speaker D: What? I heard Cave of the outback. [00:38:22] Speaker A: That's what it does. It just produces bloomin onions. [00:38:25] Speaker D: Ooh, I'm in. [00:38:29] Speaker B: This bright green and gold cape is often interlaced with glittery threads and serves as a distraction. While wearing the cape, you get a plus two item bonus to deception checks. As an action for two actions interact once per day. You can cast dimension door. The space you leave and the one you appear in are filled with puffs of smoke that make anyone within concealed until they leave the smoke or the end of your next turn, at which point the smoke dissipates. Strong winds immediately dissipate the. [00:39:06] Speaker A: So this is an excellent item for a rogue. You can teleport behind somebody, you're immediately concealed from them, and you can just stab the shit out of them for two turns, basically. [00:39:16] Speaker D: Sounds great. [00:39:17] Speaker E: Ninja dust. [00:39:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Ninja vanish. So take it. [00:39:21] Speaker D: I say. [00:39:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know that anyone's gonna get more use out of it than twin down. Well, I was actually hoping it was something else when we first found it because I have boots of elven kind, and I was hoping it was the cape of elven or a cloak of elven kind. Yeah, because they work very well together. But Cape of the mountain bank's good too. [00:39:38] Speaker B: So that's equipped on you and Matt, I just want to let you know, you currently have 345-6789 invested items. [00:39:49] Speaker A: Yes. Of the maximum of ten. Yes, I'm aware. [00:39:51] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. So that's what you find up where they walk. Up where they run. [00:39:58] Speaker C: Okay, so that's where his brain is. But I hear Mountebank and I think Sweeney Todd. [00:40:03] Speaker D: That's fair. [00:40:03] Speaker A: I thought it was the place where the canadian mounted police keep their money. [00:40:10] Speaker C: That's the mount bank. [00:40:12] Speaker A: Yeah. So Mountbank, in case anyone is curious or Mountebank, actually pronounced the e there a little bit, is a person who deceives others, especially in order to trick them out of their money. A charlatan. [00:40:23] Speaker D: Oh, boy. Checks out. [00:40:25] Speaker A: So, cape of the liar. [00:40:27] Speaker B: It fits for twin Talon. [00:40:29] Speaker A: Does it? [00:40:29] Speaker C: And I mean, with how, with how gaudy it sounds, it could be the cape of the pickup artist. [00:40:36] Speaker A: Deception plus two. [00:40:37] Speaker C: You got a peacock and you got a lie to the world. [00:40:39] Speaker B: Just remember, you get a plus eight to Negin. [00:40:42] Speaker A: Oh, good. [00:40:45] Speaker D: Boy. [00:40:45] Speaker A: Oh, boy. That was the thing somebody said once. [00:40:50] Speaker B: Okay, so where are y'all headed next? [00:40:54] Speaker D: Down below. [00:40:55] Speaker B: Saraya found a ladder leading down. [00:40:58] Speaker A: Oh, like through the grates on the top there? [00:41:00] Speaker B: Yeah. So you can pull this grate up. And there is a ladder. It's actually this square. I'm sorry. So it is directly north of oo. It is to the. To the far right side of that grate. [00:41:12] Speaker A: Okay. And is there anything securing it to the. So that people from below can't get out? [00:41:16] Speaker B: Uh, no, there is not. [00:41:18] Speaker D: Hmm. [00:41:19] Speaker A: Uh, okay. Twintalon is going to ask Tasani to basically go up into the crow's nest and just keep an eye out and make a racket if Tisane sees anybody approaching. [00:41:30] Speaker D: Wait a minute. I thought Tasani was with a sailor on their head as they swam away. [00:41:35] Speaker A: No, no. I thought about it, but it's a funny image. [00:41:38] Speaker B: But Tessani is now 55ft in the air, sitting in the crow's nest. I guess it would be a pterodactyl's nest at this point. [00:41:45] Speaker A: Is now. [00:41:46] Speaker D: Yeah, she. She fits. She sits, right. [00:41:48] Speaker B: So who's going. Who's lifting the grate? Who's going down? [00:41:52] Speaker C: Strength checks are not my forte, either. [00:41:55] Speaker A: Ooh. [00:41:55] Speaker C: Or I will. [00:41:56] Speaker D: Or if it requires two people, I'm sure. [00:41:58] Speaker B: Yeah, it is large, so I think the two of you would have to lift it up. [00:42:02] Speaker D: All right. Would you like to come help me move the grate? [00:42:06] Speaker B: Okay. [00:42:09] Speaker D: I can't tell if you're sad or excited about the bed. I don't know what's happening. [00:42:15] Speaker E: I was just in the middle of a beautiful daydream. [00:42:19] Speaker D: Well, I apologize for interrupting. Perhaps you can do that for next time. All right, let's lift this grate together. [00:42:27] Speaker B: All right. So you lift up the grate. It seems very dark down in the hold. The only light coming down is through the grate. [00:42:35] Speaker D: Okay. [00:42:36] Speaker B: Who will be going down first? Because it is a ladder. And you can only go down one at a time. [00:42:42] Speaker D: Oh, can you see in the dark? [00:42:44] Speaker E: I think so, yeah. [00:42:45] Speaker A: And Twintelle will fall down behind the ladies. He's got dark vision. [00:42:48] Speaker B: So who has low light vision? [00:42:50] Speaker A: Really? [00:42:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:52] Speaker A: I thought. I thought half orcs had dark vision. [00:42:54] Speaker C: I have full dark vision. [00:42:56] Speaker B: I'll double check. I may have missed. [00:42:58] Speaker A: I haven't played a half Orc in second edition, so I could absolutely be wrong. [00:43:01] Speaker B: No low light, huh? [00:43:02] Speaker A: Okay. [00:43:02] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I have full dark vision. [00:43:05] Speaker D: Do you want to go for. I mean, does anybody have a torch or something we can use? Let's just start by, by doing that. [00:43:11] Speaker C: I suppose we do have an ever burning torch. I think. I know Jasper was carrying one for a while. [00:43:16] Speaker D: Yeah, well, that's right. [00:43:18] Speaker C: Chintellen, did you say you don't have dark vision? You have low light or do you? [00:43:21] Speaker A: No, I have darkvision. I have the goggles. It'll point to his goggles. [00:43:24] Speaker C: Do we want to go down first and then like have. Ooh, and Brianna follow with the torch? [00:43:30] Speaker A: It wouldn't be bad just to go down, look around and then make sure it's clear before we like, light a torch and bring everybody else down. [00:43:37] Speaker C: Shall we be stealthy about it? [00:43:39] Speaker D: I think that would be wise, yes. [00:43:41] Speaker A: I'm always stealthy. [00:43:43] Speaker C: Well, I have to put a little more effort into it. I'm sorry. [00:43:46] Speaker B: All right, so, twin Talon, go ahead and go down first if you'd like. Or sorrea, whoever. Surreya. [00:43:52] Speaker C: All right, Soraya, I'm topping down. [00:43:54] Speaker F: Oh, fuck. [00:43:55] Speaker D: Oh no, listen. He said oh, fuck. That makes me very nervous. So. [00:44:01] Speaker A: By the way, I got a 39 to my stealth check. [00:44:03] Speaker C: I got a 32. [00:44:04] Speaker D: Nice. Good job, guys. [00:44:06] Speaker B: Each of the support beams in this cramped hold bear heavy bolts affixed to manacles. A few low benches sit above the bilge water and accumulated filth. Two large wooden gates in the ceiling provide the room's only illumination. You see 38 people chained to the walls with muck and bilge water at their feet. Now another thing that happens is we're going to use those stealth rolls that two of you just made for initial. [00:44:46] Speaker C: Okay? [00:44:47] Speaker A: If it's an initiative, I get a plus two. [00:44:49] Speaker B: So that makes it a total of what? [00:44:52] Speaker A: 41. [00:44:55] Speaker D: Good job. [00:44:56] Speaker F: Wow. [00:44:58] Speaker C: 32. I don't have any bonus. [00:45:01] Speaker B: So the three of you who are still above deck, please give me a normal perception based initiative. The reason it's perception based is because you are going to hear, hopefully hear fighting before, you know. [00:45:17] Speaker D: Hopefully being the operative word. [00:45:18] Speaker B: Twin talon, since you are so so stealthy. You land, and as you turn around, getting off the ladder, you see a dwarf snarling and growling at you, who is not handcuffed, who is very burly. [00:45:37] Speaker A: Just a point of order. Twin Talon doesn't use laughs. He just jumps down things. [00:45:40] Speaker B: As you jump down, you turn around and you see this dwarf and you are face to face with him. And we will see what happens next. No. What? [00:45:54] Speaker D: No, we just got here. [00:45:59] Speaker C: It wasn't my turn this time. [00:46:00] Speaker A: Mount a bank thank you for listening. [00:46:01] Speaker B: Listening to the Crack Die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape because Epic Games deserve Epic music. Please visit [email protected]. pathfinder second edition, Age of Ashes Adventure Path are all copyright of Paizo Publishing. Please visit [email protected] for more information.