[00:00:38] Speaker A: Welcome to the 90th episode of the Crack Dye podcast. Woo.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: More to 100.
[00:00:46] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:00:48] Speaker A: This is insane.
[00:00:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:00:52] Speaker C: Thank you, everyone who's put in the time hanging out here with us for 90 episodes.
[00:00:56] Speaker D: Yeah, I just want to thank. Thank everybody for sticking with us this long.
[00:01:00] Speaker A: So 90 plus. You're right, Matt. 90 plus. We had this conversation a couple weeks.
[00:01:04] Speaker D: Ago, but with all our zero point five s and interludes.
[00:01:07] Speaker A: Yeah, crazy. So how's everyone doing? How's everyone feeling? Really liking these characters? Yes. Really attached.
[00:01:16] Speaker C: So I'm pretty sure if I die, if twin Talon dies, hopefully I won't die. But if Twintalon dies, I'm gonna come back as a nightmare cleric. Since they have a plus four bonus to wisdom. That seems pretty good.
[00:01:26] Speaker B: That's fun.
[00:01:28] Speaker D: Yeah, I mean, I figure you would just play Tisani as like, an intelligent creature.
[00:01:34] Speaker C: She just becomes a rogue in her own right.
[00:01:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
What was the creature from the Black Lagoon nineties X Men cartoon? There was like a flying pterodactyl.
[00:01:45] Speaker E: It was Kitty Pryde's pet.
[00:01:47] Speaker A: No, no, no, not even that. It was like they were in the savage lands.
[00:01:52] Speaker D: Oh.
[00:01:53] Speaker A: Anyway, call in if you know the answer. Our phone lines are open.
[00:02:00] Speaker E: Lockheed was a dragon, not a pterodactyl.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: Terror dactyl.
Wow. You know, you spelled something really wrong when even Google's like, hey, there's no results.
[00:02:16] Speaker D: I mean, if you tried pterodactyl, Sauron.
[00:02:21] Speaker A: Is the character's name. S a u r o n. Was.
[00:02:25] Speaker E: It like a half man, half teradatal? Yeah, yeah, I had the action figure.
[00:02:30] Speaker D: Is that name really. Is it, like, not copyrighted? I feel like someone's estate would have gone hard for that.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: I don't know, but yeah, I believe he has mind powers and he, like, took over Professor X's body. Anyway, I'm just delaying the inevitable, having you all die.
[00:02:49] Speaker D: If you put on his favorite ring, he can just find you wherever you are.
[00:02:54] Speaker A: Okay, so, Christine.
[00:02:57] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:02:57] Speaker A: Saraya made a deal with this creature.
[00:03:00] Speaker D: Am I gonna regret that? I don't like the way you said that.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: Said that you will pay a 150 gold for them. For them to help you out.
[00:03:08] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: Can you please tell me.
[00:03:12] Speaker C: Tell you why?
[00:03:13] Speaker A: Ain't nothing but a hide.
What is your deception, DC? Let's start there.
[00:03:19] Speaker D: My deception would be 20. 313 plus ten.
[00:03:25] Speaker A: All right, so I'm gonna make a roll. Okay. Are you lying to this creature?
[00:03:30] Speaker D: No. I'll pay him 150 gold.
[00:03:32] Speaker A: There is no deceit in what you're saying.
[00:03:34] Speaker D: None at all. She has every intention of when they're.
[00:03:37] Speaker A: Safe forking over some money. Okay, so in that case, this creature will shoot its stinger at Senna, and it rolls a 31, which will hit.
[00:03:54] Speaker C: Great.
[00:03:55] Speaker A: So then Senna takes 15 points of damage, and.
Oh, nope, she takes less. I'm sorry. Because she is evil. She will not take the two evil Senna now needs to make a saving throw, a fortitude saving throw, which she passes without a problem.
He will then throw his stinger at her again and will miss. And you know what? We'll go with a claw for the third attack, and that will hit on a third attack for 13 points of damage.
[00:04:40] Speaker C: Great.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: Senna's taking damage. Senna snarls and yells back in common.
What are you doing? We had a deal.
And we'll strike out at the creature.
[00:04:59] Speaker B: Oh, Shawn's hag voice is the best.
[00:05:01] Speaker C: It sounds nothing like his goblin voice. I don't know what you're talking about.
[00:05:06] Speaker D: Shut up.
[00:05:09] Speaker A: She will crit against the creature. Yikes.
Oh, she gets a card.
What are we out of critic cards?
We went through all the critical hit points. Cards, guys.
Great.
[00:05:25] Speaker C: Shuffle them back in.
[00:05:26] Speaker D: Shuffle and start over.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: Yeah, let's redo all of them. Reset. All right, there we go.
All right, now let's draw a crit hit card.
And it says the target is flat footed until the end of next turn. So your new ally is flat footed and takes double damage. 46 points of cold iron slashing damage.
For her next attack. She will do it again.
35 will hit.
So she does more damage.
She does another 21 points of damage. And since she hit with two strikes, she will then rend for one action.
[00:06:13] Speaker B: Oh, good lord.
[00:06:14] Speaker D: I.
[00:06:14] Speaker A: Which does straight damage. Another 19 points of damage.
[00:06:20] Speaker D: Anyone else reliving walking up to like, two? NPC's fighting each other. And elder scrolls.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:06:29] Speaker A: Twin Talon, it is your turn.
[00:06:32] Speaker C: All right. Twin Talon is going to smack the rod and spoil the child. No, wait. He's going to try to use trick magic item again.
[00:06:39] Speaker A: Okay, come on.
[00:06:42] Speaker C: 20. I don't think that was enough. I don't remember what it was.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: No. 23. Would you like to use your hero point?
[00:06:48] Speaker C: Yeah, I guess. All right, there we go. 31.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: There you go. 31 is a critical success.
[00:06:54] Speaker B: Good job.
[00:06:55] Speaker C: Okay. I don't really think happens on a.
[00:06:57] Speaker A: Crucial success, but I don't think it does. But doesn't. Doesn't hurt.
[00:07:01] Speaker C: You sure? Sure. Okay, so heal. So at third level, it is three d. Eight plus 24. Wow. What craptastic damage. 33. But twintalon heals himself for 33. And that's his whole turn.
[00:07:15] Speaker A: That's better than where you were.
[00:07:18] Speaker C: Certainly is. And then Taysani is going to continue. Taysani's gonna come back.
[00:07:23] Speaker A: Tisani, come back.
[00:07:25] Speaker C: Swing around and flank with Briena.
[00:07:29] Speaker B: Okay, Yibbie.
[00:07:32] Speaker A: Saraya missing three fingers. It is your turn.
[00:07:37] Speaker D: So we actually forgot to do Senna's persistent poison at the end of her turn.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry. You are correct.
[00:07:45] Speaker D: So she takes two d, four persistent poison, two poison, and then she can try to make her flat check 18. Ah, damn. 18.
[00:07:55] Speaker A: So no more persistent for her.
[00:07:58] Speaker D: Well, I got her for a little while.
[00:07:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:00] Speaker D: Okay, I'm gonna do a fun thing I don't think I've done yet. And that is we're gonna use my double brew ability.
[00:08:08] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:09] Speaker D: So I can do that. To use one action and make two alchemical items with my quick alchemy. And they do not have to be the same fun.
One that I definitely want to do is be dread and pure.
[00:08:23] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:08:24] Speaker D: And that does, I believe, mental damage. And the other is going to be crystal shards.
[00:08:31] Speaker C: Crystal meth.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: Okay. Crystal meth, crystal method, and a dread ampule anyway. All right, so you make a dread ampule and crystal method.
[00:08:44] Speaker D: Yes. So I'm going to throw them both at Senna there.
[00:08:50] Speaker A: Oh, it's Senna. Okay.
[00:08:52] Speaker D: Who'd you think I was gonna throw them at?
[00:08:53] Speaker A: Rusta may.
[00:08:55] Speaker D: Senna feels a little more pressing. I know twin Talon is over there, but dying. Look, he got the healing rock to work. Oh, there we go. Okay, so. Oh, that was a Nat 20 with my dread ambulance.
[00:09:12] Speaker A: Okay, 36.
That is indeed a critical hit. Please, please, please draw a critical hit card.
[00:09:24] Speaker D: I will. Absolutely. It says bomb or spell. Normal. Normal damage.
[00:09:29] Speaker A: Boo.
[00:09:30] Speaker D: Target is slowed one until healed. Okay.
[00:09:33] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:09:33] Speaker D: Nerve. It's nerve damage.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: Oh, boy.
[00:09:37] Speaker D: Yes. So it is two d. Six plus two. So it's six mental damage. Yay.
[00:09:46] Speaker A: Six mental. Okay.
[00:09:49] Speaker D: Yeah. And there's nobody around to get splashed at that because I don't want to splash asnazak.
[00:09:56] Speaker A: How about Tosani?
[00:09:57] Speaker D: No, I'd rather not. Brianna, believe it or not, no.
But with the crystal shards, I'm not actually going to aim them at her. Going to throw them on the ground in front of her and create caltrops so hopefully she can't move too much towards us without taking damage.
[00:10:15] Speaker A: Okay, do I have to make a.
[00:10:16] Speaker D: Roll for that if I'm aiming at the floor?
[00:10:18] Speaker A: Uh, yeah, just to see if you make a one.
[00:10:21] Speaker D: Okay. Alrighty. Now, 17. All right, so there was no work as caltrops.
[00:10:29] Speaker A: Well, I remember Hugh Brick walked into them.
[00:10:33] Speaker D: Yep. The first creature that moves into the square must succeed at a DC 14. Acrobatics check or take one D four piercing damage and one persistent bleed. The creature taking persistent damage takes a minus five foot penalty to its speed.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: Alright, is that it for you?
[00:10:47] Speaker D: Uh, yeah, that was. Make two bombs and use them each.
[00:10:51] Speaker A: It's now the top of the 7th round. Rusty may looking at the downed goblin because I'll deal with you later. And swings a claw at. Well, let's make this sporting.
Matt, you're gonna be one. Christine, you're gonna be two.
[00:11:11] Speaker D: Yay.
[00:11:12] Speaker C: Looks like me.
[00:11:14] Speaker D: Oh, I'm sorry, Matt.
[00:11:15] Speaker A: All right, Matt, here comes the hot step up.
[00:11:20] Speaker C: Whatever, I'm never cooking.
[00:11:25] Speaker A: Here comes the claw. Do do do do.
Here the claw.
40.
[00:11:35] Speaker C: Fuck.
[00:11:36] Speaker A: Oh, that's a natural 17 on the die for a total of 40. That's a critical.
[00:11:45] Speaker C: Oh, yep.
[00:11:48] Speaker A: Oh, this is a slashing one. D eight persistent bleed.
So you're going to take a lot of damage.
[00:12:02] Speaker C: If it's 54, which is what it looks like, that's more than hit points I have.
[00:12:07] Speaker A: Right.
[00:12:07] Speaker C: So you drop to dying two.
[00:12:10] Speaker A: To dying two.
[00:12:11] Speaker C: But then I get covered in slime.
[00:12:14] Speaker A: You get covered in slime. And so you are merely stabilized.
[00:12:21] Speaker C: Now, the stabilized spell positive energy shuts door. The target loses the dying condition, though it remains unconscious at zero.
[00:12:30] Speaker A: Okay, so you're not dying.
[00:12:32] Speaker C: I am not.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: And you're not even wounded.
[00:12:34] Speaker C: That is correct.
[00:12:36] Speaker A: But you are prone, flat footed and unconscious.
[00:12:42] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: Okay, seeing its first victim on the ground, it's coming after Saraya. Okay, here comes its attack. You know, 38.
[00:12:57] Speaker D: That will crit.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness.
All right, target takes one d four persistent bleed. Any creature it swallowed a hole is a immediately released.
[00:13:09] Speaker D: Well, I haven't swallowed anything whole, I can promise you that.
[00:13:12] Speaker A: But you are taking one d four persistent bleed.
[00:13:16] Speaker C: On top of that is called gutslash, by the way.
[00:13:20] Speaker A: Yeah, 42 points of damage.
[00:13:23] Speaker D: That hurts. But it's.
[00:13:25] Speaker A: Yeah, not.
[00:13:25] Speaker D: Not gonna lay me out just yet.
[00:13:27] Speaker A: And then she's gonna try and attack you again, Sarah. 23 miss. All right, the bone creature will attack Senna again.
It really wants to hit with its stinger. It's going for its stinger again.
25 will miss.
It's gonna go one more time with the stinger. Oof. Oof. That's a critical miss.
[00:13:56] Speaker D: Buddy, did your stats suddenly plummet when you joined the PC side?
[00:14:01] Speaker A: Oh, and now he is sickened. Three. As he has second thoughts about what he is doing.
[00:14:06] Speaker C: He stick to his empty bone stomach.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: You don't want to see what he vomits up.
[00:14:11] Speaker B: Gross.
[00:14:12] Speaker D: This is like an owl pellet.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: And then it's gonna try and hit it with its jaws for its last attack. 26. Will.
Oh, it's. Is it flat footed?
[00:14:25] Speaker C: Who? Senna.
[00:14:26] Speaker A: Senna? Yeah.
[00:14:28] Speaker C: Why would she be flat footed?
[00:14:29] Speaker A: Oh. Cause I saw Susani. But nope. Nope.
[00:14:33] Speaker C: Unfortunately, it's exact opposites. And Sasani can only flank with either Brianna or boneface because he decided to be in the corner.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: Uh, Mister Kinky Boots. Thank you.
[00:14:43] Speaker C: Sorry. Sorry. Mister Kinky Boots. Because he decided to be in the corner.
[00:14:46] Speaker A: All right, that was it for Mister Kinky boot. Kinky bones. Brianna, it is your turn.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: Alrighty, then. I am flanking with Tosani, right?
[00:14:56] Speaker C: Correct.
[00:14:57] Speaker B: Oh, and I have to pick up my shield from somewhere.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: It's on the ground behind you.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: All right.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: Ugh. That will miss. You have a hero point.
[00:15:08] Speaker B: All right, take my hero point and shove it.
All right, let's try again. Come on, come on. I got this. I got this.
How's it 31.
[00:15:18] Speaker A: How's it hit?
[00:15:20] Speaker B: Let's do it. All right, take some damage. 15 points of damage. All right, let's do it one more time.
[00:15:28] Speaker A: All right, this is the second attack.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: With 27 because you are flanking.
[00:15:37] Speaker A: Oh, hang on a second. Oh, yeah. So this first one is a regular hit. The second one is a hit because you are flanking.
[00:15:43] Speaker B: Okay, 16 points of damage.
[00:15:45] Speaker A: All right.
[00:15:46] Speaker B: It is forceful, right? So doesn't it do.
[00:15:48] Speaker A: Oh, it does. An additional two.
[00:15:51] Speaker B: So take two more. So 18 total.
[00:15:54] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:15:54] Speaker B: I would want to shield raise, but. Oh, no, my shield is behind me, so. Feel like, why the hell not? What's the worst that could happen? Let's do one more.
Yeah. 13. There you go.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: That's a. That's a critical fail.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I figured as much. I deserved it. It was very dumb of me.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: No, it is not a critical fail.
[00:16:16] Speaker B: No, just a regular fail.
[00:16:18] Speaker A: It's a regular fail. Cause I forgot to put the target as flat footed.
[00:16:21] Speaker B: Well, then, yeah.
[00:16:23] Speaker A: Save.
[00:16:23] Speaker B: I guess I got lucky.
[00:16:25] Speaker A: Saved by the flanking. All right, it is now Senna's turn. She looks at Brianna and says, you're nothing but a pitiful bug. And swings a claw at this bone facehugger. Kinky boots. McSnazzy pants.
[00:16:42] Speaker D: Mm hmm.
[00:16:43] Speaker B: Mm hmm. I feel like we're getting further and further away from the original name, but I'm. I'm in it. I'm into this.
[00:16:50] Speaker D: I mean, it's like bendy home. Cucumber patch.
[00:16:52] Speaker A: Because he is sickened. Three. He is hit.
[00:16:55] Speaker C: Woof.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: 415 points. Of damage swinging a second time.
Oof. And will critically hit him.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: Yikes. Should I liberate him, guys?
[00:17:11] Speaker C: I mean, who else are you gonna use it on?
[00:17:13] Speaker D: He's on our side so far. Yeah.
[00:17:15] Speaker A: I mean, Brianna's still up.
[00:17:17] Speaker C: She's Brianna?
[00:17:18] Speaker B: Mm hmm.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: Brianna and Saraya are still up. The good news is it's persistent bleed, and he is immune to bleeding, so that's good. And it's regular damage, so you know what? That's not terrible. 21 points of damage and then she's gonna rendezvous for 17 points of damage and this bone creature dies.
[00:17:41] Speaker B: Oh, boy.
[00:17:42] Speaker D: Oh, I'm sorry, buddy.
[00:17:44] Speaker B: Guess we get to keep our money. I mean. What?
[00:17:47] Speaker A: All right, it is now Saraya's turn.
[00:17:50] Speaker D: Alright, so I did recall knowledge on Senna. Let's try it on rescue May. All right, would that be society again? Or Arcana, or, uh, society?
[00:18:01] Speaker A: Please.
[00:18:02] Speaker D: Okay, let's see if I can pull this off again.
22. Oof. That was a seven.
[00:18:07] Speaker A: Yeah. No, that's not enough.
[00:18:08] Speaker D: Okay, let's see what happens with tried and true. I'm gonna throw a moderate alchemist's fire at her. Okay, Rusty May.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: Sounds like the name of a boat.
[00:18:20] Speaker D: Kind of does.
[00:18:21] Speaker C: Alchemist fire.
[00:18:22] Speaker A: No. Rusty may.
[00:18:23] Speaker D: Rusty may.
Oh, God. That's another four for an attack roll of 20.
[00:18:31] Speaker A: That is a critical fail. Would you like to use your hero point?
[00:18:35] Speaker D: Yes, I would.
[00:18:36] Speaker A: All right, gross.
[00:18:40] Speaker D: 35.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: That is a hit.
[00:18:42] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:18:45] Speaker D: Okay, so. Alchemist fire.
Two d eight. Fire. Two persistent fire. And two fire. Smash.
[00:18:52] Speaker B: Good stuff.
[00:18:54] Speaker A: Oh, damn it. She takes four fire damage.
[00:18:57] Speaker D: Four fire damage. There is still too persistent. But I'm also gonna do it again.
[00:19:02] Speaker A: Okay, so too persistent. Remember, persistent does not stack.
[00:19:06] Speaker D: That's fine. 28 to hit her second time will miss. That's fine. Does she still take the two splash?
[00:19:13] Speaker A: Yes, she does. Okay, okay, that's my turn.
[00:19:18] Speaker D: Was recall. Throw. Throw.
[00:19:20] Speaker A: Now it's twin talons turn.
[00:19:22] Speaker C: All right, so I think the first thing that happens on my turn is I take persistent bleed damage.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: Yes. You take two d eight.
[00:19:30] Speaker C: No, I think I take one d.
[00:19:31] Speaker A: Eight, but one d eight.
[00:19:33] Speaker C: I'm sorry, but it doesn't really matter. What I take is one point of dying.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: Yes. All right.
[00:19:41] Speaker D: Oh, great. Wait, am I persistently bleeding? I feel like I might be.
[00:19:45] Speaker C: Yeah, you got gutslash. Which did one d four persistent bleed. Yeah.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. So, okay, so let me roll for.
[00:19:52] Speaker D: That and then I'll make my flat check.
Four bleed damage. Why do I roll that when it's on me?
[00:19:59] Speaker C: Yeah, that's how this works. I think.
[00:20:01] Speaker D: All right.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: And then roll a flat check, please.
[00:20:05] Speaker D: 16. Whoo. Not bleeding anymore.
[00:20:08] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:20:09] Speaker C: Can I roll flat check for my stuff? Persistent bleed?
[00:20:13] Speaker A: Yes, please.
[00:20:14] Speaker C: Nat. 20. All right. What a waste.
[00:20:17] Speaker A: All right, well, you're no longer bleeding.
[00:20:19] Speaker C: Yep, I'm just dying one.
[00:20:21] Speaker A: Dying one and you're no longer stable.
[00:20:24] Speaker C: Oh, shit.
[00:20:25] Speaker E: Yeah, he's got an amulet.
[00:20:27] Speaker C: I already used the amulet.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: No, he used it first. So now at the end of your turn, make a save.
[00:20:34] Speaker C: Okay, well, 1st, 1st day sonic still gets a turn, so she is going to attack Senna. Okay, 26 versus flat footed ac.
[00:20:47] Speaker A: Flat footed will hit.
[00:20:49] Speaker C: Okay.
So she does seven points of beak damage.
[00:20:55] Speaker A: Okay. Is that piercing?
[00:20:58] Speaker C: Yes. One d six piercing, plus a d six for mature and then plus strength.
She only gets one action a turn without me commanding her, so that's her whole thing. But she did seven damage, which is more than I did damage wise in the last two turns. I was up.
And then I will need to roll to stabilize, which is, I think, just a flat check. Right?
[00:21:15] Speaker A: Flat check. And it needs to be with a DC of ten plus your current dying value.
[00:21:21] Speaker C: And I rolled a nine for my flatty check.
[00:21:24] Speaker A: So your dying value increases. Increases by.
[00:21:29] Speaker C: Yep. So I'm dying to.
[00:21:31] Speaker D: Sean's not gonna go for this argument, but technically you rolled that as to Sonny.
[00:21:36] Speaker C: It's true. I did.
[00:21:38] Speaker A: You know what? You guys are in such dire straits. I will. I will let you do that.
I'll let Matt reroll. Has he rolled his tone?
Don't say I've never done nothing for y'all.
[00:21:55] Speaker C: Five. So I did not succeed.
[00:21:57] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:22:00] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't go dying. Three. Luckily, I can't just blow them all in one turn.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: All right, Rob. Knife sword. You're just stable. You're not bleeding anything extra. You're. You're good. All right, Saraya.
Rusty. Oh, no. First action.
A steel cage surrounds knife sword.
[00:22:26] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:22:27] Speaker A: From out of the ground.
[00:22:29] Speaker D: It's rusty maze turn.
[00:22:31] Speaker A: It is rusty maze turn.
[00:22:32] Speaker D: And she's not the same creature as Senna, but she can do Senna's special cold iron action.
[00:22:36] Speaker A: No, she is different, but she does have some of the same abilities.
[00:22:40] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: And then she is going to try.
And she's gonna try and swing at Saraya. This is a big attack right here.
I'm not hiding any of the rolls. I'm just rolling it straight up.
[00:22:57] Speaker C: 33. Fuck.
[00:23:00] Speaker D: Regular hit. Not a crit.
[00:23:02] Speaker A: Regular hit. Okay.
You are going to take 19 points of damage unless Brianna wants to. To liberate you.
[00:23:13] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:13] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:23:14] Speaker D: Absolutely.
[00:23:15] Speaker A: You're gonna take eight points of damage.
[00:23:19] Speaker D: Alrighty.
[00:23:21] Speaker A: And you may take two steps if you would like.
[00:23:25] Speaker D: Is there a place I can move to that keeps me out of range of either of them?
[00:23:29] Speaker A: So here's the deal. You can step to the right and be behind Brianna.
[00:23:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:36] Speaker A: Or you can take a step toward the left and be next to twin Talon to possibly help him out.
[00:23:43] Speaker D: I will do that. I will move next to twin Talon.
[00:23:45] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:23:47] Speaker D: Uh, yeah.
[00:23:49] Speaker A: All right.
[00:23:50] Speaker D: I assume someone's gonna try to attack me again.
[00:23:52] Speaker A: No.
It is now Brianna's turn.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: I've had enough of this. You've hurt my friends when we only stepped into your area, and we're not attacking you. And for this, I condemn you and I smite you old hag.
Not that I can hear anything that's happening around me. I'm just kind of going off of instinct and what I can see. Yep.
[00:24:22] Speaker A: That's all you're hearing right now.
When you use your liberating step and the enemy takes persistent good damage equal to your charisma modifier.
[00:24:33] Speaker B: That is divine smite. Not smite evil, I believe.
[00:24:37] Speaker A: Oh, smite evil. I am so sorry.
[00:24:39] Speaker C: Right. Smart smite. Smart smite evil is smurver. Select one foe you can see until the start of your next turn. Your strikes with the weapon your blade ally inhabits against that foe. Deal an extra four good damage if the foe attacks one of your allies, the duration extends to. Extends to the end of that foe's next turn. If the foe continues to attack your allies, each turn, the duration continues to extend. So basically, Brianna does an extra four good damage every attack until the hag attacks her.
[00:25:08] Speaker B: All right, which will, you know, likely be next round. Alright, how's a 29?
[00:25:15] Speaker A: 29 because of Tasani will hit.
[00:25:19] Speaker B: Beautiful. Take 19 points of damage. That is counting the for good.
[00:25:24] Speaker A: Okay, well, hang on. I gotta do a couple different things, so.
[00:25:28] Speaker B: Mm hmm.
[00:25:29] Speaker A: It's for good.
That was your first action?
[00:25:33] Speaker C: No, that was for two actions. Smite evil and then attack.
[00:25:37] Speaker A: You have one more action.
[00:25:38] Speaker B: I was just gonna say I think all I really can do at this point is just keep chipping away since you guys are down.
[00:25:45] Speaker C: I mean, you had to roll a ten to hit, so it's gonna be a little tougher this time. But, you know, if you get another hit in, could be important.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: Nope. Not with a 23.
[00:25:58] Speaker A: That is correct. Not with a 23. That is a mess.
[00:26:01] Speaker C: Are you out of hero points at this point? It's all blurring together to me.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Okay, yes, I'm out.
[00:26:07] Speaker A: It is Senna's turn on a one. It's attacking. Briena. On a two, it's attacking to Sonny.
Mariana, let's do it. All right, first attack.
Let's see how this goes.
First attack. Here comes.
[00:26:24] Speaker B: Mm hmm.
Son of a bitch. Sean.
What the actual.
[00:26:29] Speaker A: Fuck that.
[00:26:32] Speaker C: 24, 41.
[00:26:36] Speaker D: Are we all gonna die?
[00:26:38] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is. This is it. Unless of something miraculous happened. Okay, I'm sorry. How the fuck were we supposed to, like, go about this? Well, I just. I don't know.
[00:26:50] Speaker A: We'll talk about this in a minute. But the good news is it's normal damage.
[00:26:57] Speaker B: Uh huh.
[00:26:59] Speaker A: The bad news is you've lost an ear.
[00:27:02] Speaker C: She can't hear anywhere.
[00:27:03] Speaker B: I didn't need it anyway.
[00:27:04] Speaker A: You take a minus.
[00:27:05] Speaker B: Already deaf.
[00:27:06] Speaker A: Yeah. Minus two circumstance. Penalty to perception checks and charisma based checks. Except for intimidation until healed.
[00:27:14] Speaker B: I guess I could throw it back or whatever.
[00:27:18] Speaker A: All right.
[00:27:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:19] Speaker A: So you are gonna take 17 points of damage now. All right, swing at sunny.
[00:27:28] Speaker B: I didn't take any reactions this round today.
[00:27:31] Speaker A: No, you did not. Would you like to raise your or react with your shield?
[00:27:34] Speaker B: I do not have a. I do not have a shield. But if it's. If she's attacking Tasani, I can attack her.
[00:27:39] Speaker A: Okay, so she's going to swing it to Sani.
[00:27:42] Speaker B: Not so fast.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:27:44] Speaker B: How's the 36?
[00:27:46] Speaker A: 36.
It's a hit for sure. I just. I need to do one more piece of math. See, that is a critical hit.
[00:27:58] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: Beautiful.
[00:28:00] Speaker A: So draw that crit hit card.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: The target must succeed. A reflex save or drop one weapon. It's holding, determined randomly by the GM. The card is called bad parry.
[00:28:11] Speaker A: So it does. It's not holding anything. But you do get double damage. What did I. So you do damage. 16.
So double damage would be.
[00:28:23] Speaker C: 32. 32.
[00:28:25] Speaker A: 32. Thank you.
You kill Senna.
[00:28:32] Speaker D: Beautiful.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: On a reaction.
[00:28:36] Speaker A: On a reaction. As it goes to swing it to Sannie, you swing out and lop off her hands and bring your civitar around and through her stomach, gutting her as her entrails fall upon the floor. It is now Surreya's turn. Suraya, you're clumsy, but you're right next to twin Talon.
[00:28:58] Speaker D: Wait, wait. Senna went and attacked Asani. Brienne used a reaction.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: Oh, that's right, Brie.
It was. But it was. It was Senna's turn. So when she dies, her turn ends.
[00:29:12] Speaker D: Okay. And it was. That was the. She went after Rihanna. Okay, I'm just. Just trying to make sure I have the initiative order correct.
[00:29:18] Speaker A: That's fine.
[00:29:18] Speaker D: Cool.
[00:29:19] Speaker A: It is now your turn.
[00:29:21] Speaker D: Oh, dear. Let's see what I want to do. Okay, I'm gonna do my quick alchemy again.
I'm gonna make like a tree and.
[00:29:30] Speaker C: Get out of here.
[00:29:31] Speaker D: For real. No, I'm gonna make a moderate elixir of life.
[00:29:35] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:29:36] Speaker D: Because I need that. And I think I'm also going to make. What don't I have over it? I'm actually just going to do the elixir of life. I'm going to drink the moderate elixir of life, which is five d, six. Twelve. Healing. Okay, so it's 34. I heal 34.
And I'm going to throw an alchemist fire at Rusty Mayenne.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: Alright, make that attack.
[00:30:09] Speaker D: Are you kidding?
[00:30:10] Speaker A: That is it.
[00:30:10] Speaker D: 19. That's a three on the die. And I already used my hero point last time.
[00:30:14] Speaker A: Critical miss.
[00:30:16] Speaker D: Fuck. And that's on my first attack. God damn it.
All right, well, I don't have a hero point. Sorry.
[00:30:22] Speaker B: I love.
[00:30:24] Speaker D: It's okay.
[00:30:24] Speaker C: This has been a trying fight.
[00:30:25] Speaker D: Nah, you become wounded one.
Yes. My spleeny bits. Somehow I managed to hurt my own spleeny bits trying to throw and I become wounded one.
Or my wounded value increases. But I don't have one, so I am wounded one. That's not being clumsy.
[00:30:42] Speaker A: Just don't die. All right, top of the 9th round.
Twin Talon. Wow. To Sonny. What would you like to do?
[00:30:53] Speaker C: Sonny will guess Brianna is gonna go.
So Dasani is going to loop around lazy arc here to end up to the northwest corner of Rusty May.
[00:31:08] Speaker A: All right, twin Talon now needs to make a twelve flat check.
[00:31:16] Speaker C: That's an 18. And that'll do.
[00:31:19] Speaker A: That'll do.
[00:31:20] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:31:20] Speaker A: You're now no longer dying. You are just wounded too. But you are still uncomfortable. Rob.
[00:31:27] Speaker E: Yep.
[00:31:29] Speaker A: How you doing?
[00:31:30] Speaker E: Good.
[00:31:31] Speaker A: Cool. All right, Rusty May's turn.
Just wanted to check in on you.
All right. All right.
[00:31:40] Speaker E: So back in the hot tub, you're.
[00:31:43] Speaker A: All in a d two.
On a one. It's Saraya. On a two is Tasani one.
[00:31:50] Speaker D: All right.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: Swinging at Saraya.
That is a hit.
[00:31:57] Speaker D: Yes. A 33 will hit.
[00:32:00] Speaker B: Yikes.
Can I liberate how far away?
15.
[00:32:05] Speaker C: You've already used your reaction.
[00:32:06] Speaker B: Your right chest.
[00:32:07] Speaker D: Yeah, it was. I mean, you killed Senna. Not complaining.
[00:32:11] Speaker A: It's true. Yeah, but it's true. It's okay. It's only 19 points of damage.
[00:32:17] Speaker D: Oh, that's not even what I just healed myself for.
[00:32:19] Speaker A: I know. So, second attack with a claw.
I hit you by one.
[00:32:24] Speaker D: Yeah, I know. I'm a 20. My ac is 26 now because I'm clumsy.
She can run, too, can't she?
[00:32:31] Speaker A: Yep. You're gonna take 24 points of damage, all right? And then those claws just rip into you, rending you for 25 points of damage.
[00:32:43] Speaker D: I'm still in it. It's not by a lot, but I'm still in it.
[00:32:47] Speaker A: Oh.
All right, Brianna.
[00:32:52] Speaker B: All right, all right. Okay, I got this.
[00:32:56] Speaker A: Leero, right.
[00:32:58] Speaker B: At this point, like, if you don't.
[00:33:01] Speaker D: Mind me taking my entire turn to do it, next time, I can boost myself significantly.
[00:33:08] Speaker B: I mean, I'm torn between running over and just, like, slapping some heels down or just continuing to be the.
[00:33:16] Speaker D: Be the bulwark for one more turn. I'm gonna. All right, take two elixirs of life next turn. And then I can meet shield as best as I can.
[00:33:24] Speaker B: Perfect. Then I will keep doing that.
[00:33:26] Speaker A: If you take one step back, you will be flanking with to sunny.
[00:33:29] Speaker B: One step back. Got it.
[00:33:32] Speaker A: I'm rooting for you guys. Like I. I really am.
[00:33:35] Speaker B: Uh, okay, okay, okay.
[00:33:39] Speaker A: Got this.
[00:33:40] Speaker B: Uh huh.
[00:33:41] Speaker A: And I do have a bit of a smile on my face, but you know I am.
[00:33:46] Speaker C: We can hear it in your voice.
[00:33:47] Speaker D: I don't want you to die, but, like, I'm very glad to have killed you.
[00:33:51] Speaker B: Right. Well, there's nothing I could have done with a 27. I'm sure. Although maybe flanking with Tasani.
[00:33:58] Speaker A: That will hit.
[00:34:00] Speaker B: Beautiful.
[00:34:00] Speaker D: Thank God.
[00:34:02] Speaker C: That's my plus two pterodactyl, by the way.
[00:34:04] Speaker B: Thanks, girl.
Take 18 points of damage.
[00:34:08] Speaker A: Right? So she takes damage.
[00:34:12] Speaker D: Have you picked up your shield?
[00:34:15] Speaker B: I have not, but it's now.
Yeah, I kind of want to use my trusty cinder claw gauntlet and punch her for one.
[00:34:28] Speaker D: I mean.
[00:34:28] Speaker B: Cause it's a minus four instead of a minus five.
[00:34:33] Speaker A: Let's.
[00:34:34] Speaker B: Let's see what happens.
How's a 32?
[00:34:37] Speaker A: 32 will just regular hit.
[00:34:41] Speaker B: Still, you tease.
Take 16 points of damage.
[00:34:44] Speaker A: All right. Takes more damage.
[00:34:47] Speaker C: And that's punching damage, if it matters.
[00:34:50] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:34:50] Speaker C: Like bludgeoning versus slashing.
[00:34:52] Speaker A: Oh, it does.
[00:34:53] Speaker C: It looks like she's. Oh, also, she's not taking all the.
[00:34:55] Speaker D: Damage she's been taking, too. Persistent fire every turn, too.
[00:34:58] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry.
[00:35:00] Speaker D: You keep forgetting I have persistent damage.
[00:35:02] Speaker A: Yep, I got it added in.
The punch seemed to do better than the scimitar, actually.
[00:35:10] Speaker B: Then she will smile. There's probably blood in her teeth and will punch again.
[00:35:14] Speaker A: There's definitely blood in her teeth. And her face and her ear and all up in her hair.
[00:35:19] Speaker C: Yeah, you've taken three actions already. Was move, attack, attack.
[00:35:22] Speaker E: Move.
[00:35:22] Speaker A: Punch. Punch.
[00:35:22] Speaker B: No, thank you.
[00:35:23] Speaker C: No, it's just getting in the thick of it. Getting excited.
[00:35:25] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: All right.
[00:35:27] Speaker D: All right.
I'm going to quick alchemy two moderate elixirs of life and drink them both.
[00:35:33] Speaker A: Are you sure you want to drink them both?
[00:35:36] Speaker B: Why?
[00:35:38] Speaker A: Okay. You could feed one to twin Talon and get him up back into combat.
[00:35:43] Speaker D: No, because if I make a drink, is it just one action to give one to him?
[00:35:47] Speaker A: He's prone and he's not gonna fight you.
[00:35:50] Speaker D: Oh, I didn't know. I feel, I feel like usually when we do that, it's multiple actions.
[00:35:54] Speaker A: Normally it's you have to pull and hand off, but if you're just dunking his head or throwing it down his throat.
[00:36:01] Speaker D: All right, so I will, I'll take 36 back in healing.
[00:36:05] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:36:06] Speaker D: And twin challenge, you'll heal up 22. I'm sorry, this the order that I did it in.
[00:36:12] Speaker C: Matt, it's fine. Twin Talon's awake again.
[00:36:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:17] Speaker D: Because my original plan had been I would take them both and then let Brianna do heals on her turn.
But whatever.
[00:36:26] Speaker A: So you're just flat footed and prone.
All right, top of the 10th round. I just want to point out my nightmare would finally have been able to get out of the squeezed position only.
[00:36:41] Speaker C: If it did nothing but move every turn.
[00:36:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:44] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: So twin Talon, it is your turn.
[00:36:47] Speaker C: Great. So twin Talon is going to grab his sword, he is going to stand up.
[00:36:55] Speaker A: All right.
[00:36:58] Speaker C: And he is going to pull out the other potion from his, his bandolier. All right, that's it. Oh, wait, no. And then Tysoni is going to attack.
[00:37:11] Speaker A: All right, little beakage, little beakage.
[00:37:17] Speaker C: 28 versus flat footed. AC will hit nice for eleven. Damage is probably like one damage, but hey, it's something. Every point counts.
[00:37:27] Speaker A: Every point counts.
All right, it is now.
Knife. Sword. How you doing over there?
[00:37:36] Speaker E: What?
[00:37:37] Speaker A: Cool. Good. Great.
[00:37:39] Speaker B: What are you doing?
[00:37:40] Speaker A: How's the hot tub?
[00:37:41] Speaker B: Are you hiding?
[00:37:42] Speaker A: How's the hot tub?
[00:37:44] Speaker E: It's good.
[00:37:45] Speaker A: Cool. All right, it is now.
It is now. Rusty May's turn. All right. D four. Rolling a d four here just to make it as, as you know, agnostic as possible. Dasani is one, Brianna is two, Saraya is three, twin Talon is four.
[00:38:07] Speaker C: Call four.
[00:38:08] Speaker B: No, Brianna is all of them.
[00:38:10] Speaker A: Brianna, that is you.
[00:38:11] Speaker B: Oh, thank goodness.
[00:38:13] Speaker A: All right, here we go.
In the words of that famous plumber. Here we go, here we go. Making an attack. All right, critical hit.
[00:38:25] Speaker B: Of course, of course it was a fucking. Another critical hit against me.
[00:38:29] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Okay.
[00:38:31] Speaker B: All right.
[00:38:32] Speaker A: What does our crit card say? What does the crit.
[00:38:35] Speaker D: You see my logic in wanting to take pulse potions myself?
Having one of us at 31, of us at 20 is a little. Ugh. Than one of us at 50.
[00:38:42] Speaker A: Uh, normal. I have drawn every normal damage card. Normal damage. But you are now blind.
[00:38:51] Speaker D: Don't have any senses left.
[00:38:54] Speaker C: You're deaf.
[00:38:55] Speaker B: I can still use my nose.
[00:38:56] Speaker C: You're blind. I smell you.
[00:38:58] Speaker B: I can touch things.
[00:38:59] Speaker C: Stinky.
[00:39:00] Speaker D: You smell terrible.
Fuck.
[00:39:06] Speaker A: 28 points. Which drops you to zero.
[00:39:09] Speaker C: Woof.
[00:39:11] Speaker A: Well, you are now dying. One.
[00:39:15] Speaker B: Cool, cool, cool.
[00:39:16] Speaker E: But stabilized into slimy.
[00:39:18] Speaker A: Oh, but yes, you're. No, you're not even dying. You instantly stabilize.
So you're just unconscious and blind and deaf.
[00:39:31] Speaker B: NVD.
[00:39:32] Speaker A: You should become a pinball wizard in my opinion.
All right, all right. D. Three. Three. One is Tasani. Two is Saraya. Three is Twintalon Tasani.
[00:39:48] Speaker C: Well, Matt, once upon a time I had an animal companion.
[00:39:53] Speaker A: To be fair. To be fair, I think she has the most hit points right now.
[00:39:59] Speaker D: Yeah, possibly.
[00:40:00] Speaker A: Oh, my God. A critical success.
[00:40:02] Speaker C: F. Yeah.
[00:40:03] Speaker B: Sean, stop it.
[00:40:05] Speaker C: Not used specifically. Just these dice slashing.
[00:40:09] Speaker A: Push the target 5ft. So Tasani gets slashed and goes back 5ft as she takes 48 damage. Eight points of damage.
But she's still up.
And Rusty Mae will slide close to start to eat a her next victim.
[00:40:33] Speaker B: Gross.
[00:40:34] Speaker A: Brianna.
[00:40:35] Speaker B: Mm hmm.
[00:40:36] Speaker A: You may now.
[00:40:37] Speaker C: No.
[00:40:38] Speaker A: Oh, no. Nope, nope. I'm. I know. You actually get shifted above rusty man.
[00:40:44] Speaker C: Correct.
[00:40:45] Speaker A: I forget that all the time.
[00:40:46] Speaker D: Okay, I'm gonna test a theory and I'm going to.
Hopefully I can hit her when I do this. I'm going to telekinetic projectile.
Any random bit of rubble that would count as bludgeoning damage. Okay, 31.
[00:41:04] Speaker A: 31 will hit. She is no longer flat footed.
[00:41:09] Speaker D: That's fine. It still hits. So 21 points of damage. It is bludgeoning damage.
[00:41:14] Speaker A: 21 points of damage goes through.
[00:41:17] Speaker D: Sweet. Does it seem like it was perhaps more effective than the scimitar had been?
[00:41:21] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:41:22] Speaker D: Cool. So she's probably got the same kind of thing where she's resistant to slashing and piercing, but is not so resistant to other things. And I'm gonna try and throw fire at her again, which again, she is taking two. She has taken two. Persistent fire damage.
[00:41:38] Speaker A: Of course she has.
[00:41:40] Speaker D: Okay. I mean, she can try to make her flat check, but I know you tend to forget these things.
[00:41:44] Speaker A: I do.
[00:41:45] Speaker D: And will a 25 miss?
[00:41:47] Speaker A: If 25 will miss. But she'll take the spin splash.
[00:41:51] Speaker D: So it's two more splash. All right, two persistent.
[00:41:55] Speaker A: Two splash it is. Now Brianna's turn.
[00:42:00] Speaker B: Huh?
What do I roll? Remind me how this works.
[00:42:05] Speaker A: A flat check. DC eleven.
[00:42:08] Speaker B: All right.
[00:42:09] Speaker A: Oh, no, you're stable. You don't even have to roll. Yeah, you're stable. You're just. You're chilling in the hot tub with knife. Sword.
[00:42:17] Speaker B: All right, knifes over.
[00:42:18] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:42:19] Speaker A: All right, twin Talon, it is your turn.
[00:42:24] Speaker E: That's not a hot spot. It's actually a hot tub, so don't worry about it.
[00:42:30] Speaker C: I don't know, man.
[00:42:33] Speaker A: You know what? I don't know either. So let's take a week to think about it.
[00:42:40] Speaker C: Let's all bring our new characters, figure out what we're gonna play next.
[00:42:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:43] Speaker D: Everybody write up a new character just in case.
[00:42:46] Speaker B: I'm not ready to say goodbye to these characters.
[00:42:48] Speaker D: I know. I love them.
[00:42:50] Speaker A: Thank you for listening to the Crack Die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape. Because Epic Games deserve Epic music, please visit
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