The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 85 - All The Pretty Faces

Episode 8 June 24, 2021 00:55:05
The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 85 - All The Pretty Faces
The Cracked Die Podcast
The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 85 - All The Pretty Faces

Jun 24 2021 | 00:55:05

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Show Notes

Game and Adventure Path by Paizo Publishing- www.paizo.com
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Episode Transcript

[00:00:38] Speaker A: Welcome to the 85th episode of the Crack Die podcast. [00:00:43] Speaker B: Hooray. [00:00:44] Speaker C: Oh, man. Getting there. Getting there. [00:00:48] Speaker A: Slowly but surely. [00:00:49] Speaker B: If I remember, last time was a huge downer at the end. [00:00:52] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:00:53] Speaker A: I know what you're talking about. [00:00:54] Speaker B: So good on you, everyone who's still here. [00:00:57] Speaker C: Yeah. Race to the point of needing a warning at the front of our. [00:01:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:05] Speaker C: Episode there. [00:01:06] Speaker D: Yeah, that got gruesome warning. [00:01:10] Speaker E: This is going to be a very depressing subject, but we're going to keep it as cheerful as possible. [00:01:15] Speaker C: Oh boy. Packaged, right? I suppose. [00:01:20] Speaker B: Rainbow sprinkles and confetti. [00:01:22] Speaker C: Yay. [00:01:23] Speaker A: So at the end of the last episode, things happened. [00:01:30] Speaker C: Yep. [00:01:31] Speaker A: You guys dealt with a faceless stalker, came back to town, started doing some investigation on certain things. Knife, sword went to investigate, getting some things made and learning some stuff. And I'll leave it like that. Soraya went around quelling the rumors that were starting to erupt and causing some distrust in the city. Brianna and Twintalon went around and spoke to Yelecha and the goblins about the faces they found in the faceless stalker's bag to see if they could identify anyone. And you all met up around 02:00 p.m. to go talk to the Wainwright, the owners of Busker's carts and wheels, to tell them that one of their six children is dead. [00:02:22] Speaker C: Sorry about it. [00:02:23] Speaker E: Suddenly really sensitive to sunburn. One of the two. [00:02:26] Speaker C: Oh no. [00:02:30] Speaker B: Their son wasn't burned. He was defaced. [00:02:33] Speaker C: Right. [00:02:33] Speaker E: But you don't have the skin to protect you, so it's, you know. [00:02:35] Speaker B: Oh, got it. [00:02:37] Speaker E: You need like SPF 9000. [00:02:40] Speaker C: I don't like it here anymore. [00:02:42] Speaker E: Maybe over 9000, but I'm done. [00:02:45] Speaker A: So you head in to speak with Faddleby and you head out to his farmhouse and you go to speak to him and his husband. [00:02:57] Speaker E: What if the whole family is faceless stalkers? [00:03:01] Speaker B: Well, they wouldn't need ripped faces, right? I guess they would. [00:03:05] Speaker E: Well, yeah, to pretend to be the members of the family. Like what if the original family is no longer there and they're all faceless stalkers? [00:03:11] Speaker C: Ha ha ha. I guess we'll bring over some food with us and see if they eat it. [00:03:19] Speaker B: I don't know that fossil stalkers can't eat. We just know that they need blood to survive. That's how they sustain themselves. [00:03:26] Speaker E: So we'll drain them, all of their blood, see if they can get any more. [00:03:30] Speaker B: Right. It's like I don't need candy to survive. But if you give me candy, I'll eat it. I'm wondering if food's the same way for them versus blood. [00:03:41] Speaker C: That's fair. So we make our way over, I. [00:03:45] Speaker E: Could cast veil, and we could all look like faceless stalkers. And then we could gauge how they react. [00:03:51] Speaker A: Hi. [00:03:57] Speaker C: Oh, geez. And we bring in the new. And as they open the door, we just show the face. Right? Is that what we're doing? [00:04:04] Speaker B: I thought, oh, my God. Nice. Was gonna be wearing it. Is that what the plan was? [00:04:09] Speaker D: I'm just gonna, like, straight up like Hannibal Lecter this shit. [00:04:12] Speaker C: Why did this get so dark? [00:04:15] Speaker B: Look, we couldn't think of a good way to do this, so we found the worst way to do it instead. [00:04:22] Speaker C: We don't know how to break ice, so. All right. [00:04:27] Speaker E: Speaking as a goblin, that's horrific. [00:04:34] Speaker C: Twin Talon, since you were quite tactful on your handling of iuletscha, perhaps you would like to do the honors with the Wainwright. Wainwright's family. [00:04:46] Speaker B: I mean, I can certainly try. I'm not the most diplomatic person, but I'll do my best. [00:04:52] Speaker C: I believe in you. I think Brianna would technically be diplomatic, but Haya's not, so maybe I'll just. [00:05:01] Speaker B: Steal their heart with my thievery. [00:05:02] Speaker C: Oh, there you go. [00:05:06] Speaker A: So as you approach the farmhouse, you hear muffled yelling. Not screams like in terror, but like, arguing. [00:05:14] Speaker B: Okay, so. [00:05:25] Speaker A: That'S what you hear. [00:05:26] Speaker E: Maybe it was your lander with your. [00:05:31] Speaker C: Are you arguing with yourself in my backpack? [00:05:34] Speaker E: Yep. [00:05:35] Speaker C: Okay. [00:05:36] Speaker B: All right. [00:05:36] Speaker C: Brianna will knock on the door. [00:05:41] Speaker A: Hello. Fattleby comes to the door, very tired looking. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Hello. That'll be. It's us. [00:05:50] Speaker A: Yes. Um, thank you again. What seems to be going on? What seems to be the problem? Can I help you? I'm sorry. I'm just very tired and stressed from this morning. [00:06:02] Speaker C: We apologize if we came in opportune time. [00:06:05] Speaker A: Oh, no, no, it's fine. [00:06:08] Speaker B: Okay, so. So we came for a couple things, actually. First, we wanted to see how. How you were doing after this morning. [00:06:22] Speaker A: Well, a little bit of explaining to do to my husband, who doesn't quite seem to believe that I was tied up and held for ransom, but what, other than that. [00:06:35] Speaker B: But he thinks you were just not home. [00:06:38] Speaker A: Well, I. Sometimes he looks around and he gives you the air quotation marks. Work late to just not be home because there's so many people here. [00:06:52] Speaker B: Uh huh. [00:06:53] Speaker A: Um, and so he was just accusing me of, uh, just drinking and gallivanting and whatnot. [00:07:02] Speaker B: It's not very kind. Okay, well, sorry about that. I mean, we can definitely vouch for you if you'd like. [00:07:08] Speaker A: I mean, sure. [00:07:10] Speaker B: Okay. In fact, it might be good. The second thing we wanted to talk about, it might be good if both of you were here for that. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Sure. Um, 1 second. And, uh, uh, let me get my, uh, let me get my husband real quick. He. Please, please come in. Have a seat. [00:07:29] Speaker B: Okay. [00:07:30] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:07:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:31] Speaker C: Thank you for your kindness. [00:07:32] Speaker A: So he walks out of the room and he comes back with his husband. Brianna, you know that his husband is a very short, stout dwarf. [00:07:46] Speaker C: I love it. [00:07:48] Speaker A: Named Fokeeth. F o k e a t h. Okay. He has a long, even for a dwarf. Long red beard, red hair down to about the middle of his back with braids in it. And he. He comes kind of trudging forward. Ugh. What? [00:08:13] Speaker C: Uh, hello there, folkrieth. [00:08:16] Speaker A: How are. [00:08:17] Speaker C: How are you doing? How are you holding up after this? [00:08:20] Speaker A: After. After my husband's out gallivanting around town, drinking all night, not coming home, leaving me with five kids to take care of. [00:08:31] Speaker C: Well, wait a minute, though. We. [00:08:33] Speaker E: Excuse me. How many kids do you have? [00:08:36] Speaker A: We have six, but only five were at home. [00:08:40] Speaker E: Okay. Sorry. [00:08:42] Speaker C: Well, we cannot vouch for the other nights that he may or may not be gallivanting. But in the dawn hours in question, he was very much here. [00:08:56] Speaker A: And how much is he paying you for this information? For you to come tell me this? [00:09:01] Speaker C: Nothing. [00:09:02] Speaker A: Uh huh. Just like him. Of course you would vouch for him. [00:09:09] Speaker C: Excuse me. You've known me quite a long time. Do you truly think I would actually be all right with taking money from just to help with marital issues and lying? [00:09:21] Speaker B: Do you think she'd be okay with lying and lying? The champion of surrendering. [00:09:26] Speaker A: You have a point. And he looks at twin Talon kind of winks. Wink. What? What do you need? What can I help you with? [00:09:39] Speaker B: So twintal be like, um. So your. Your 6th son or your 6th child, is that it? Is that it? For whatever reason, in my head, they were all boys. I don't know that that's. That's the case. [00:09:51] Speaker A: No, it's not the case, but that's fine. [00:09:53] Speaker B: I don't know if it was the Brady bunch thing or what, but probably your 6th child who was not at home. Do you know where they are? [00:10:02] Speaker A: You know teenagers, out and about doing whatever they please. I told them to be home by midnight, but who knows? [00:10:13] Speaker B: Could you describe them for us? [00:10:15] Speaker A: And he describes a scrawny teenager, humanity, pimply faced, almost like the. The geek from Futurama. [00:10:30] Speaker B: Okay. Does that look like the person that we met? [00:10:34] Speaker A: Yes, it does. [00:10:36] Speaker B: Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But unfortunately, something terrible has happened to your son. [00:10:46] Speaker A: No. What? What happened? [00:10:49] Speaker B: There was a creature that came into town and we managed to scare it off, chase it down and slay the creature. But it did manage to kill a number of the town folks. [00:11:05] Speaker A: What are you saying? [00:11:07] Speaker B: Unfortunately, it seems that your son was amongst those that were killed. [00:11:12] Speaker A: What? [00:11:13] Speaker B: I'm sorry. I don't know how better to break that to you. Unfortunately, we don't know where your son's body is. But the creature took grisly trophies of his victims. And your son's face was among those things that we recovered. [00:11:37] Speaker A: No, that's. No, you must be mistaken. You hear his voice crack a little. [00:11:42] Speaker B: Bit, put his hand on his shoulder and he'll say, we. We brought it with us. For there is no more appropriate place than with you to lay him to rest in the manner in which you see is appropriate if you are up to receiving it. [00:12:01] Speaker A: And you just see them that the dwarf break down and just start uncontrollably sobbing. [00:12:09] Speaker C: We're so sorry to be the ones to tell you this. If it is of any consolation to you, the creature has been dealt with. [00:12:18] Speaker A: It makes me feel a little better. But it won't bring my son back, of course. [00:12:28] Speaker B: Unfortunately, no. I don't want to inconvenience you in your moment of grief or make you feel any more exposed than you are. So I'm going to leave this here. And he'll put a son's face wrapped in a cloth or something like. So it's not just like handing him a raw face. Slap, slap him on the table? No. So hand him a package to him and his husband and just, you know, this is. This is what we found. Again, we apologize. We don't know where his, the rest of him is, but we just want to, you know, say how sorry we are for your loss and we'll. We'll be on our way. But if you need anything, we, as you probably know, are currently residing at the Citadel alt terrain. And, you know, feel free to call upon us. And if you do need anything else. [00:13:31] Speaker A: Thank you. And you see Faddleby has come up and thrown his arms around his husband and all argument or anything like that just seems to be washed away. And you see there are four daughters and youngest son come around and just kind of start to try and help their fathers with. With the situation. It's not easy for any of them. And you see that the oldest, the oldest daughter looks to you and kind of like, nods and says thank you, and takes the. The wrapped face and takes it away and to figure out how to best prepare it and what? [00:14:16] Speaker C: Pan fried? I would. [00:14:18] Speaker A: I was gonna say prepare it for burial. Oh, whoops. With a little paprika. And they. They nod and politely ask if you can leave so that they may mourn in proper. And you see, as you leave, you hear scissors clipping. And just as the door closes, you see the long beard of the dwarf fall to the floor. [00:14:45] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:14:46] Speaker E: Wait, what? [00:14:47] Speaker B: I think he cut his beard off in morning. [00:14:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Yep. [00:14:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:50] Speaker E: Oh, they do that. [00:14:51] Speaker B: Apparently. I'm using context clues, man. I'm not a dwarf. [00:14:58] Speaker E: As he was shapeshifting. I mean, that could have happened too. [00:15:02] Speaker A: No. Sell. [00:15:06] Speaker B: Do we know what the. What the dwarven husband does? Does he have a job as well, or is he. [00:15:10] Speaker A: Yes, he also works at Vasker's carts and wheels. Vusker is their last name that their son will never take ownership of. [00:15:20] Speaker B: Now, I wonder if their oldest daughter was older than their oldest son. [00:15:26] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:27] Speaker C: Cool. [00:15:27] Speaker B: Okay, well, now she just has to kill off the youngest son, and then maybe the line of succession will fall to her. [00:15:33] Speaker C: I mean, it's. It's galarian. Who's to say how line of succession actually works in a fantasy realm, right? [00:15:40] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know. I'm just trying to make light of a horrible situation. So dark. I feel very sad. [00:15:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:49] Speaker A: When I kill one of you, you can come back as, uh, as a dwarf. [00:15:53] Speaker C: Oh, gladly. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Or you're gonna say a faceless stalker. [00:15:57] Speaker A: Or a daughter. A daughter of a dwarf. [00:16:00] Speaker B: I mean, every female dwarf is someone dwarf's daughter, right? [00:16:03] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, so what are we off to next, boy? [00:16:10] Speaker B: Better be fucking rainbows, that's all I know. [00:16:14] Speaker E: I need to make a withdrawal from the central pod. I just need to get some stuff for Schnauzel's. Schnauzel's ear day. [00:16:21] Speaker B: Sorry, what. [00:16:23] Speaker E: What schnazzles your day? Don't you celebrate? Schnauzel's your day? [00:16:28] Speaker A: Who's Schnauzer? [00:16:31] Speaker B: How much money do you need? [00:16:34] Speaker E: A hundred. Gold. [00:16:36] Speaker C: I'm going to roll a sense. Bullshit. [00:16:42] Speaker A: Because it's versus knife, swords, deception, DC. [00:16:48] Speaker C: Do I get any pluses? Because I don't like lying and I. I'm allergic to it. [00:16:56] Speaker A: No, unfortunately. [00:16:59] Speaker C: What is it? Just perception. [00:17:01] Speaker A: Perception versus deception, DC. [00:17:04] Speaker E: But am I lying? [00:17:08] Speaker C: I don't know. That's a scary part. Ah, fuck. It was just a 16. [00:17:15] Speaker A: Cool. Yeah, you think back and you think back to your time studying goblins, which wasn't very much, and it seems like a legit holiday as much as anything. [00:17:28] Speaker B: Yeah, that has to do with goblins. Seems like a legit anything. [00:17:31] Speaker A: In fact, you think you should go get gifts for the goblins that are working at the Citadel. [00:17:36] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [00:17:38] Speaker B: And how much money did you say you needed? [00:17:40] Speaker E: 100 gold. [00:17:41] Speaker B: Okay, and how much gold do we have? [00:17:44] Speaker A: Um, you have currently zero platinum, 3490 gold, three silver, and seven copper. [00:17:54] Speaker B: Sure. Knife sword has pulled his weight. I don't see any reason why giving him 100 gold would be an issue. All right, so I want really nice shoes. It's like, well, all right, whatever, man. [00:18:07] Speaker A: I will take away 100 coins from you and give it to sword. [00:18:13] Speaker B: Oh, coins. Cool. Can make that copper then. If it's just coins, any denomination, just. [00:18:20] Speaker D: Here's 10,000 copper. [00:18:22] Speaker E: Oh, it's heavy. Okay, I'm gonna start pulling it over towards the book company. No. [00:18:30] Speaker A: Okay. [00:18:31] Speaker E: Yes. No. [00:18:32] Speaker A: The. The breach hill archives. [00:18:35] Speaker E: Right. [00:18:35] Speaker A: So, okay, you're gonna make that transaction. You know it's only 80, right? [00:18:41] Speaker E: I want one extra. [00:18:43] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. [00:18:46] Speaker E: I'm not stealing from anybody. Yeah. I want to make five of the first thing. That's what I. Yeah. [00:18:51] Speaker A: Okay, so knife, sword goes and takes about an hour at the archives, and then we'll return to you all. What are the rest of you doing in that hour? [00:19:02] Speaker B: How many more faces we got of people we recognize? [00:19:05] Speaker A: None. You've talked to everyone? [00:19:07] Speaker C: I said we do have faces left over, correct? [00:19:09] Speaker B: We do. [00:19:10] Speaker D: That's such a horrible statement. [00:19:12] Speaker C: I know, but we have faces left over. [00:19:16] Speaker B: We have. We have unidentified faces. [00:19:19] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:19:20] Speaker B: We got the goblin worker, the bugbear, who we don't know, and then the sun. Then there was a human who was a guard, so we did know that person. A gnome and a halfling, I believe. [00:19:35] Speaker E: You know, I think the only respectable thing to do now would be to take them to a taxidermist. [00:19:41] Speaker C: No. [00:19:41] Speaker E: Get them mounted already. No. And put them in a place of honor in the citadel as a memorial with some kind of, like, ever burning candle or something. [00:19:50] Speaker D: No, no. We can just do, like, headstones if we want to do that. [00:19:55] Speaker E: Well, this is. But. Yeah, who's gonna. But we don't know their names to put on the headstones. And this way, if someone comes looking for them, they can go look at them on the memorial wall and. No, no. [00:20:05] Speaker D: I don't want faces hanging in my citadel. [00:20:08] Speaker C: Or I just. [00:20:09] Speaker E: I don't. [00:20:09] Speaker C: We can do what Matt suggested and talk to Greta about them. Maybe she can identify people, and then we can take it from there. [00:20:19] Speaker E: I got I got it. I got a compromise. [00:20:22] Speaker B: Oh boy. [00:20:23] Speaker D: Oh dear. [00:20:24] Speaker B: A compromise between it taking them to be identified and mounting them in our castle. I can't wait to hear it. [00:20:30] Speaker E: No, no, no. I mean, I don't. I'm okay for getting to trying to get them identified, but if we can't get them identified, we could take casts of the faces to put on the tombstones instead of names. [00:20:41] Speaker C: Like a death mask. [00:20:42] Speaker E: Yeah, so then if someone came looking for them, they would recognize the face and could know. [00:20:47] Speaker B: You know, assuming that we cannot get them identified, that would be a worthwhile compromise, I think. Like that's. That's not an uncommon. Death masks are not uncommon. But no one peels their face off gravestone. Holy shit. [00:21:03] Speaker D: I'm going to say that you two should perhaps go talk to Greta. I might stop by the mortuary, which is number nine on our lovely map, and see if the other bodies have been turned in, maybe of the sun. I feel like, you know. Hey, have you had any faceless bodies? It's a pretty easy question to answer. And then after that, I'm very intrigued with this possibly like catapish dirt that was in Boz's cell. I have a feeling we should go back down to the basement and see if that's where the next gate leads. [00:21:34] Speaker E: Can I go with Saraya? [00:21:35] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. [00:21:36] Speaker D: There will be no eating anything in the mortuary. [00:21:40] Speaker E: Uh, I'm not a cannibal. [00:21:42] Speaker D: And there aren't only goblins in there. Oh, no. [00:21:47] Speaker E: Okay. [00:21:48] Speaker D: Make me put a muzzle on you if you're going to come. I will. I have one. [00:21:52] Speaker E: No, that's fine. No, keep it away. [00:21:55] Speaker D: So that was the first question. The first thing I realized. No more simian familiars. Anyway, shall we? [00:22:03] Speaker A: You guys head to the mortuary and a very sallow looking human female approaches in an elaborate morning gown and a gauzy black veil with elbow length satin gloves. Hello. [00:22:22] Speaker D: Hello. Morta, I assume? [00:22:25] Speaker A: Yes, I. [00:22:28] Speaker D: How to say this. I'm sure you've heard the rumors that have been flying around town. [00:22:33] Speaker A: Oh, yes, quite so. [00:22:37] Speaker D: Aside from the ones that came from the prison, have there been any other bodies in similar condition? [00:22:44] Speaker A: Uh, no. No one has had the face removed here. [00:22:50] Speaker D: Alright, so it's just. Just those three from the prison? [00:22:54] Speaker A: Yes. [00:22:55] Speaker D: Well, I wouldn't say wonderful, but. All right. Is there anything else you've noticed about any of the. Those bodies while you were preparing them that might be of interest to us? [00:23:06] Speaker A: Nothing interesting, it seems to be just the ones that you talked to about. [00:23:13] Speaker D: Sorry. I find it really interesting that this mortician is like. Yeah, nothing interesting about a bunch of his sanguinated, faceless bodies. Gotcha. [00:23:21] Speaker E: Can I sniff him? [00:23:22] Speaker D: The mortgage? [00:23:23] Speaker A: You may sniff her. Yes. [00:23:28] Speaker E: No, I got a 17, which is a one. [00:23:32] Speaker A: It smells like flowers and potpourri. A little cinnamon on there. [00:23:39] Speaker D: That's what she keeps around the building to keep the destination from getting too bad. Yeah, she was just preparing today's assortment. [00:23:46] Speaker E: That reeks of dead things. Okay. Thank you. [00:23:49] Speaker A: Oh, yes, yes, thank you, indeed. [00:23:51] Speaker D: We shall leave you to it. And if there's any of the families that might have some difficulty paying for funerary requirements, please let us know. I'm sure you can find us at the citadel or most of the. I'm gonna say carrier pigeons, because I don't know. Know where to find me. Up the mountain. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Sounds good. [00:24:14] Speaker D: Well, I will leave you to whatever preparations I'm sure you must be making. Farewell. [00:24:20] Speaker A: Goodbye. You have a wonderful rest of your day. [00:24:24] Speaker D: You too. [00:24:26] Speaker A: All right, so let's jump over to Brianna and twin Talon. [00:24:34] Speaker B: Okay, so I believe we were going to Greta Gardenia to ask her to see if she could identify any other faces. [00:24:42] Speaker A: Yes. [00:24:43] Speaker B: All right, so we'll go find her. [00:24:45] Speaker A: Yep. So you head back to Greta Gardenia, who is at the town hall now holding an impromptu meeting. Ladies and gentlemen, I have been assured by the heroes of Breechill that they have dealt with the faceless stalker and have done some thorough investigation to make sure there are none around here. None left around. We are preparing to offer any funeral arrangements for those who have been impacted by this tragedy, and we will overcome it. Ah, here they come now. Two of our heroes, twin town will. [00:25:26] Speaker B: Kind of sheepishly smile and wave. [00:25:29] Speaker C: Brianna will politely nod and do the same. [00:25:32] Speaker A: What have you guys seen? What have you heard? Are they all dead? Are there any other left in the city? [00:25:37] Speaker C: Oh, as of right now, we cannot impart further information that we have given. But rest assured that we will continue to get to the bottom of this infiltration that we have experienced. Greta, gardine, please. A word of your time. In private, if possible. [00:26:01] Speaker A: Yes, the rest of the town council will be happy to answer any questions while I go speak with our heroes here. And she shuffles you off into one of the smaller side buildings. [00:26:12] Speaker C: Brianna kind of, maybe privately winces whenever she says heroes. She doesn't quite feel it at this moment, but anyway. [00:26:21] Speaker B: Yep. [00:26:22] Speaker C: Miss Gardenia, what is her official title? Like? What would be an honorific title for her? Counselor? [00:26:30] Speaker A: Her Excellency, counsellor. [00:26:32] Speaker C: Okay, councillor, we are here to impart a moment of your time to talk about some of the victims that we have encountered, and we would hope that we could use your extensive knowledge of the people of Bridgel to perhaps identify some of them. A word of caution. What we are about to show you is rather gruesome. She'll kind of look at Twintown for support or confirmation. [00:27:03] Speaker B: He will not, so. [00:27:05] Speaker C: Yup, don't know how to continue from there. The creature seemed to favor taking faces in order to infiltrate or assimilate to our society, and had taken several victims in order to return them to their homes or their families to impart the news. We do need this help. So whenever you're ready, councilor, we would wish to show you these faces. [00:27:36] Speaker A: Okay, I believe I'm ready. [00:27:38] Speaker B: Okay. Twintallen will take them out and unwrap them one at a time. [00:27:42] Speaker A: She retches all over the floor. [00:27:44] Speaker C: Oh, boy. [00:27:45] Speaker B: I'll make sure she doesn't retch on any of the faces. [00:27:47] Speaker A: Yes. [00:27:48] Speaker C: Is there a trash can nearby that she's. [00:27:53] Speaker A: She manages to get there and she's like, oh, this is way worse than I was expecting. [00:28:00] Speaker C: Brianna will kneel by her, and I'm guessing she'll take a handkerchief from her pack and hand it over and like, kind of pet her back and support, like, I I apologize. I know it's, it is quite gruesome, and. [00:28:17] Speaker A: Yes, let me. Let me look at the faces closer. And as she does, please tell me. [00:28:25] Speaker B: She doesn't spew all over the place again, right? [00:28:28] Speaker A: Correct. She does not. [00:28:30] Speaker B: Okay, good. [00:28:31] Speaker A: Outside of the guard and the. The. The other two don't look for familiar to me at all. [00:28:39] Speaker C: Hmm. Well, condolences to the guards family, and I suppose we will let you break the news as counselor and leader. Or would you rather us go ahead and do so? [00:28:56] Speaker A: No, no, I will. It is the part of the job I hate the most. [00:29:01] Speaker C: I can understand that. As for the remaining faces, I don't think they're going to keep very long for us to continue this line of investigation. Twin, Talon, I think it's best to say their last rites and either barrier or cremate or something. [00:29:23] Speaker B: I concur. I think that knife sword's idea of making a death mask wouldn't be the worst thing. At least we could memorialize them in some way. Or at the very least have it as a reference if somebody comes looking for them. [00:29:36] Speaker C: Yes. [00:29:37] Speaker B: Maybe that can be something that's done at the temple. Is there a temple in town? I assume there's a temple in town. It's a fantasy world. [00:29:42] Speaker C: Believe so. [00:29:43] Speaker A: Caden's keg is actually a temple to Caden Kalian. And the great dream house is a temple to Desna. [00:29:51] Speaker B: Oh, a temple to Desna. [00:29:52] Speaker C: I was gonna ask if we. If we had one. To pharasma. [00:29:56] Speaker A: So you know that the mortuary at Morta is a worshipper of phrasma. [00:30:02] Speaker C: I mean, if anybody would be able to recreate bones beneath in order to, you know, have a decent looking death mask. I believe going back to Mortis is not a bad idea. [00:30:16] Speaker B: Agreed. And after that, after the death masks are made, I think final rites probably should be done. Bye. Gonna say we go to the house of dreams? I have something else I want to do there, so. [00:30:28] Speaker C: Okay. [00:30:29] Speaker B: It's as good a place as any, cleric wise, certainly. [00:30:33] Speaker C: I mean, if all else fails, I'll happily do so myself, but that is a good idea. [00:30:40] Speaker B: Okay. Well, Greta, hopefully we'll be able to eat again soon. And good luck. I don't envy your task in delivering the bad news to the guards family. [00:30:54] Speaker A: Thank you. And she, like, wipes her mouth, tidies herself up, and you see her take a deep breath, and, like, okay, let's go confront these people and heads out. [00:31:06] Speaker B: All right. [00:31:07] Speaker C: Okay. [00:31:07] Speaker B: Tomordas, we go to mortars. [00:31:09] Speaker C: We go. [00:31:10] Speaker A: You head over to Morta's mortuary. You run into soraya there. [00:31:14] Speaker C: Well, we were able to identify at the guardsman the other two. Unfortunately, we do not know who they are. So the line of thinking was to create the death mask, and who better to help us recreate bone but morta? So here we are. [00:31:33] Speaker D: She's very dry, but, um, hmm, amenable enough. [00:31:39] Speaker C: Well, I can imagine somebody who doesn't speak to the living very often can become a bit dry in their lack of practice with people, but they are good at their job. That is what we need them for. [00:32:00] Speaker D: She should just be inside if you'd like to go say hello. [00:32:03] Speaker B: All right, sounds good. [00:32:05] Speaker C: Here goes nothing. [00:32:07] Speaker A: Oh, hello. I'm very popular today. [00:32:10] Speaker C: Quiet, Marta. Quiet. How are you doing? How is business? [00:32:14] Speaker A: Booming. People are dying to see me. [00:32:18] Speaker C: Oh, you are funny. [00:32:20] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:32:26] Speaker C: Morta, we were hoping to ask your expertise regarding the creation of death masks. Unfortunately, all we really have to work on, or work with, are the faces. We were hoping that you would be able to perhaps sculpt a usable skull in order to put the faces on. So we can then recreate these face masks of the deceased so we can use them as identifiers should their loved ones come searching for them. [00:32:55] Speaker A: Oh, yes. I would love to do this art project. It will take me a few days to properly cast and fit everything appropriately, but I can absolutely do that for you. It would be a pleasure. [00:33:11] Speaker C: Ah, thank you. I was going to say why you're getting these supplies to make paper mache. I'm concerned now. [00:33:17] Speaker A: Oh, no, I was going to pour them out of plaster. [00:33:21] Speaker C: Ah, perfect. [00:33:22] Speaker A: But if you like, I can make them out of paper mache and perhaps maybe a pinata. [00:33:28] Speaker B: No, no, we're good. There's. There's three faces that we need done, though. Okay, great. Good conversation. [00:33:38] Speaker A: I will absolutely do that for you. [00:33:42] Speaker C: And how would we be able to compensate you for this art project, like you say? [00:33:51] Speaker A: Oh, I never thought of that. [00:33:56] Speaker C: Maybe I feel like Twintellen's, like, staring daggers at me now. I'm sorry. [00:34:00] Speaker B: Can you feel it through my computer? Yeah, sorry. [00:34:07] Speaker A: Maybe five silver a face. [00:34:11] Speaker B: Okay, that seems fair. Twintalon will dig out as an ad of gift. Twintalon will dig out 15 silver, and he'll hand it to morta along with three wrapped faces. [00:34:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:34:21] Speaker B: The bugbear, the halfling, and the gnome. [00:34:25] Speaker C: Listen, this person's an artist, okay? They need to eat, too. [00:34:29] Speaker B: I know, but someone's like, I don't know, it feels weird to be like, yeah, I'll do that to help the town. And you're like, no, no, we need to pay you for that. [00:34:40] Speaker C: Oh, see, I didn't hear. [00:34:44] Speaker B: That was just the impression that I got. It was just like, she was doing it to be helpful to the town in general, but my bad. And in the, like, the world of right and wrong, like, you're right. Even if she's doing it to be helpful, she still get paid for it. [00:34:57] Speaker C: I'm a paladin. Sorry. Okay, me too. [00:35:03] Speaker A: Really? At the end of this, pay your artist people. [00:35:06] Speaker C: Exactly. That's the most important part. [00:35:09] Speaker B: Speaking of which, we're looking for free art anyway. [00:35:17] Speaker D: Fan art is different than free art. They chose to do that. [00:35:20] Speaker C: Yeah, that is true. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:23] Speaker B: We're looking for fan art of any type. We're not requesting anything specific. We just love that you are involved and are interested in our product that we're producing. So we love you. [00:35:33] Speaker E: Our fans backpack architecture will be particularly appreciated. [00:35:39] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:35:42] Speaker A: She is going to start making those for you. It's going to take her a little bit of time. [00:35:48] Speaker B: Okay. [00:35:49] Speaker C: You wanted to go by the dream house? [00:35:52] Speaker B: Yes. Yes, I do. [00:35:54] Speaker C: Yes. [00:35:55] Speaker A: All right, so you head on over to the dream house. [00:36:00] Speaker B: Is it the dream house or house of dreams? What is it? The great dream house. [00:36:04] Speaker A: The great dream house. [00:36:07] Speaker B: Okay. So Twintalon would like to. He'll go in. He doesn't know a whole lot about Desna, although I am trained in religion, so I guess I don't know nothing. [00:36:19] Speaker A: The great dream house is a monastery like establishment dedicated to the goddess Desna. You know, there's about 30 priests and acolytes who call this place home. Living, working, studying, and praying in the temple's peaceful lounges and verdant indoor gardens. [00:36:37] Speaker C: What did you want to do in here? Twin Talon? [00:36:40] Speaker B: I was gonna see if any of the clergy here knew anything about the dream gate, where it might go, and also what we find on the other side, and also to have a run on sentence. Be completely run on. [00:36:54] Speaker C: Mm hmm. Keep going. Keep going. [00:36:56] Speaker B: Anything about the stark knife that we found or that we were given? [00:37:00] Speaker A: Okay. A couple of the acolytes shake their head when you ask them this question, but the head priest, Keelin, male elf, comes up and nods and says, hello. How can I be of assistance? [00:37:17] Speaker B: Hello, you may. I mean, I'm sure you know Brianne, but you may know us as the quote unquote heroes of Breech hill, which have recently taken up residency in the citadel outside of. Outside of town. We've come across in the basement a ring of Ayodhara, and one is called the Dream Gate, which apparently is tied to Desna. It is opened by this knife, and he'll draw out eclipse, and he'll say, I'm curious if you have any insight on eclipse or the dream gate or what's on the other side of it or what we could expect if we go through. [00:37:59] Speaker A: Oh, this is. This is very ancient and very old. [00:38:04] Speaker B: Those are the same thing. Yeah. [00:38:07] Speaker A: He looks over it and, like, turns it over in his hands, admiring the stars and Desna butterflies engraved onto the stark knife. Unfortunately, the dream gate has been lost to us for a long time, and all records of it are not with us, unfortunately. But I'm sure if rumors are to be believed at all, you will enter a very peaceful, tranquil place. Between this gate and the next, there should be a place for you to rest. If it is indeed dedicated to Desna, you could probably rest there and get a good night's sleep and heal up or anything, but where it goes, I do not know. [00:39:02] Speaker B: Okay. You said that the records were lost, and they aren't here. Do you know where they would be? [00:39:07] Speaker A: Perhaps in Absalom. [00:39:09] Speaker B: That is a long way away. [00:39:11] Speaker E: It's a tall order. [00:39:13] Speaker B: Okay. He'll kind of look back at Brianna. Is there anything else that you can think of while we're here? [00:39:19] Speaker C: No. I suppose we can try and communicate with the temple of Desna via letter. I know they're currently busy with the irradiant festival there. [00:39:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I hear the new guard force is a total shit show. [00:39:38] Speaker C: Unfortunately, with the incident with the faceless stalker, it did take several victims, and we were hoping that somebody from your order would be able to do last rites and perhaps burial on the behalf of those who did not make it to their families. We have a bugbear and a gnome. [00:40:05] Speaker B: Was it bugbear, gnome, and halfling? [00:40:07] Speaker C: Yeah, we have a bugbear, gnome, and halfling that have not been identified and do need last rites and peace. [00:40:18] Speaker A: Yes, we absolutely can do that. We'll work with Morta as well, as she is the most dedicated to the lady of graves, and we will perform as best we can. [00:40:31] Speaker C: Thank you very kindly. Unless you have anything else further for us, we should continue on. On our business. [00:40:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm ready to go. [00:40:40] Speaker A: He nods. He starts ordering the acolytes and whatnot around to start preparing for burials and getting people ready for a large influx of dead bodies to perform last rites on and whatnot. [00:40:54] Speaker C: Okay, perfect. Completely off topic. Mostly because I just see it. Shailen's smile. [00:41:01] Speaker A: Yes, Shailen's smile. It's an artist's skill. And a temple to Shailen. [00:41:05] Speaker D: Very cool. [00:41:07] Speaker C: Okay, I guess we head back to the fortress. [00:41:10] Speaker B: Yep, sounds good. [00:41:12] Speaker A: Meanwhile, at the fortress of solitude. Anyway, sorry. Everyone meets back up at the fortress and. What are you all doing? [00:41:23] Speaker B: What time is it? [00:41:24] Speaker A: It is 06:00 p.m. great. [00:41:27] Speaker B: So we should probably eat maybe some evening carousing with the goblins and yelecha hanging out. [00:41:37] Speaker A: Did you guys pick up gifts for the goblins for their holiday? [00:41:42] Speaker B: Is that today? [00:41:42] Speaker C: Oh, of course. [00:41:44] Speaker A: That's what knife sword told you. [00:41:45] Speaker B: I think you said it was for that. For whatever day that was. What day is that? Knife sword. Is that today or is that a different day? [00:41:52] Speaker E: It's in the third week of Rova. [00:41:54] Speaker C: Ah, so next week after. No, couple weeks? [00:42:00] Speaker B: I think so. I think we got back on the second of Rova, and it's been. [00:42:04] Speaker A: Yes, it is. Now this. It's the 7th of Rova. [00:42:07] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah. [00:42:08] Speaker C: Okay, so we have a couple weeks yet to collect gifts for how many goblins do we have on stuff? [00:42:16] Speaker A: Oh, a good chunk. [00:42:18] Speaker B: What? [00:42:20] Speaker C: Maybe a collective gift? [00:42:22] Speaker B: Or we could get something they could all enjoy, like a keg of some sort. [00:42:26] Speaker D: I was just going to say a side of these bones and all. [00:42:29] Speaker B: Yeah, like a cow, a big keg. Maybe some fireworks that they don't allow to touch. [00:42:37] Speaker C: No, please, no fireworks. [00:42:40] Speaker B: Just trying to think what goblins would like. [00:42:41] Speaker E: Yeah, there usually is a large feast at Schnasel year. I remember one year we had the entire back end of an aurochs. [00:42:53] Speaker D: Mmm. [00:42:56] Speaker B: Okay. I'm sure we can scare something up that will be appropriate. In fact, I can talk to warble about something like that. [00:43:08] Speaker A: Okay, so you all eat and have a wonderful evening after a terrible, terrible day. [00:43:19] Speaker B: Horrible, no good, very bad day. [00:43:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And you all go to sleep. Knife, sword. Are you hiding those things on everyone or are you just giving it to them? [00:43:31] Speaker E: I was gonna give them to, but I just assumed it was gonna take a while to make. [00:43:34] Speaker A: Oh, no. They're already in everyone's character sheet. [00:43:36] Speaker D: What? [00:43:41] Speaker E: I didn't think they were ready. I'm sorry. No, I was planning on just giving it to them like, you know, wrapped in appropriate goblin gift wrapping. [00:43:50] Speaker A: Okay. [00:43:50] Speaker C: No. [00:43:51] Speaker A: All right, so, like, steel, damp seaweed, it's maybe 606:00 on the 8th of Rova. You all wake up and what do you do? [00:44:04] Speaker D: I mean, Saraya's got her morning prep to do, so she's probably busily fussing about with some alchemy materials and Jasper hopping around helping her. [00:44:13] Speaker A: Okay, and can Jasper still speak now or. [00:44:16] Speaker D: No, probably. There's nothing incredibly pressing going on, so I don't think he needs to be a valet at the moment. He can speak instead. [00:44:24] Speaker A: Okay. [00:44:26] Speaker B: Twintalon is going to do his normal morning routine, exercising, shaving his head. He'll spend some time training with his pterodactyl friend, and then he'll try to pitch in and help out with whatever repairs are going on in the. The citadel. I don't have any particular skill, but I can pick things up and move them. And I've got a human sized pterodactyl who can motivate the goblins, probably, if knife sword is any indication. [00:44:55] Speaker C: Don't you also have architecture lore? Doesn't that count for something? [00:44:58] Speaker B: I do. I do have architecture lore. I am good at designing things or knowing about stuff, but I don't know that it. At least according to the way the rules are written, I don't know that it actually helps, which is unfortunate. It feels like it should have some ability. But in any case, twin Talon doesn't have anything specific he's trying to do. So he's going to try to, you know, help out and do what he can around the citadel. [00:45:22] Speaker A: All right, Brianna, what's she. What is she doing? [00:45:25] Speaker C: Brianna would have risen with a sun, and as it has to do with. With her goddess, she would have prayed with the morning sun and then also probably exercised with twin Talon, probably running around breach hill doing laps. And then. Yeah, probably checked in to see how the masks were going, if she was needed for any of the rites. And if not, also she's. She is strong. She will probably happily, you know, bench press a handful of logs. [00:46:03] Speaker A: Okay. And knife, sword. [00:46:06] Speaker E: I'm going to wrap all the gifts. I'm going to put little name tags on them, okay. Written in Goblin. So, you know, but one for everybody in the party, and one for. And I. And this is Robert here, who doesn't have the memory, the name of the lead goblin architect person. [00:46:29] Speaker A: Warble. Warble. [00:46:31] Speaker E: Yeah. And her name's on one. [00:46:33] Speaker A: Okay. [00:46:34] Speaker D: I. Goblin. I know that. [00:46:37] Speaker E: Then I'm gonna. Oh, yeah, and by the way, the traditional way of giving a gift on Schnauzel's ear day is to sneak them under the ear of the person while they're sleeping. Anyway, so then I'm gonna go catch up with third vestigial claw and. [00:47:00] Speaker C: Try. [00:47:01] Speaker E: To convince him that Brianna wants him to look in the backpack to make sure there's no structural deficiencies. [00:47:06] Speaker B: I mean, I can take a look. [00:47:08] Speaker A: Sure. [00:47:10] Speaker B: It's a backpack. [00:47:11] Speaker E: Get in there and just look around. Make sure that there's nothing dangerous. I mean, aside from the fireplace, but there's nothing dangerous in there. [00:47:21] Speaker B: Okay. Uh, yeah. Twintown will look inside. [00:47:26] Speaker A: You see that? There's this weird fireplace that is way too close to everything else because it's a small backpack and not a portable hole, and it's just all types of dangerous. Like, everything's gonna catch on fire in there. How? [00:47:42] Speaker C: How? [00:47:43] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't think this is a good idea. I think the fireplace is probably something you're gonna want to not have in a backpack. Maybe if you were to put a. Like an external. Like a clay fixture on the outside with a little portal into the backpack, and then you could have a chimney. That way, the fires outside of the backpack and you and all the stuff are inside the backpack. [00:48:06] Speaker E: That actually makes sense. I did have a venting problem last time I used it. [00:48:10] Speaker B: Well, there you go. And you're sure Brianna wanted me to do this? [00:48:14] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah, she was just nervous that, you know, with all the walking around that, you know, things might shift, so. [00:48:20] Speaker B: I'm sure she is. [00:48:22] Speaker C: Roll sense bullshit. Please. We are best friends. [00:48:29] Speaker B: Yeah, and someone says your best friend wants to help, like, oh, my best friend. And then after he does that, he'll make sure to meet Briana at some point during the day. So, knife sword asked me to take a look at your backpack to make sure it was structurally sound and that the fireplace was in the right place. [00:48:52] Speaker C: I'm sorry, what? There's a. [00:48:55] Speaker B: What did you not ask me? Did you not want me to do that? [00:49:01] Speaker C: What did you do? Her voice just keeps getting progressively higher as she marches back. First of all, how is there a chimney in a backpack? It is not even a bag of holding. [00:49:18] Speaker A: How. [00:49:19] Speaker C: How is this possible? I do not understand. It's a small chimney. [00:49:25] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:49:29] Speaker C: Okay. This is what's going to happen. I'm going to leave that backpack behind and get myself a new one. [00:49:38] Speaker B: That would be the ultimate just, like, trickery to be, like, just lol. Okay, this is fine. You can do whatever you want. The backpack. Okay. Running. And then he, like, climbs. He's, like, ready to go. Then he's, like, pulling a different backpack. Be like, bye bye bye, sucker. [00:49:57] Speaker C: I'm not lying. I just bought myself a new book. Backpack. [00:50:04] Speaker A: Around noon, you all are done with your morning routines. Everything is prepared. You also find, in your rooms, under your pillows, you find small packages wrapped up with a word written in goblin on it. [00:50:26] Speaker B: Okay, I can read goblin. I assume it's just some random number and then an appendage. [00:50:33] Speaker A: Oh, yes, yes. That's what it's written as. Yeah. [00:50:40] Speaker B: 17 tentacle, I guess this is for me. [00:50:44] Speaker A: And when you open it up, you see a small gold amulet that you can wear. [00:50:52] Speaker B: Hmm. Does it say who it's from? [00:50:55] Speaker A: Well, knife sword. Did you put your name on it? [00:50:58] Speaker E: As tradition, I put in a small caricature of my face. [00:51:03] Speaker A: Okay, so there's a crudely drawn goblin. [00:51:07] Speaker B: Okay, well, I mean, who else calls me 17 tentacles? [00:51:10] Speaker A: Yeah, right. [00:51:13] Speaker B: All right, twin ten. I'll take it. I'll wear it. [00:51:16] Speaker A: All right. So on your character sheet, you will see there is an item there called strange amulet. Oh, no. You may equip it if you like and invest one point into it. [00:51:32] Speaker C: What does it do? [00:51:34] Speaker A: You don't know unless knife sword tells you what it does. [00:51:38] Speaker C: Knife sword. Thank you so much for this kindness. What does it do? [00:51:44] Speaker E: I just wanted to keep everybody safe, so. [00:51:48] Speaker C: Doesn't answer my question. [00:51:52] Speaker E: So I figured if we ever get, you know, walloped next time, that everyone. Nobody's gonna die from the walloping. [00:52:06] Speaker C: Okay, lovely. [00:52:09] Speaker A: So, mechanically, this is an item that works on as a reaction. The triggering effect is you would be knocked into or you would gain the dying condition. If you would gain the dying condition, then the amulet goes off and you gain the effects of stabilize. So once per day, you can instantly stabilize. [00:52:40] Speaker C: That's so cool. [00:52:41] Speaker A: However, there is a downside to it. [00:52:45] Speaker C: Uh oh. [00:52:45] Speaker B: And it's. [00:52:46] Speaker A: And it's all. It's all cosmetic. Nothing really. Once the amulet goes off, it begins to smell of knife sword's breath. [00:52:56] Speaker E: Is that my breath smells like. [00:53:00] Speaker A: It becomes moist and clammy. Why? And a thin layer of slime covers the amulet. [00:53:10] Speaker B: So. Seems super appropriate. [00:53:13] Speaker D: And I assume we don't know about that side effect. [00:53:16] Speaker A: Correct. Correct. [00:53:20] Speaker B: No, thanks. I'll just die. I'm good. [00:53:24] Speaker A: Again, those have no mechanical effects. They are purely roleplay effects of the. Of the animals. [00:53:35] Speaker D: All I can think is the princess and the frog. [00:53:37] Speaker C: It's not slime. [00:53:37] Speaker D: You're secreting mucus. [00:53:43] Speaker C: That's exactly it. Oh, my gosh. [00:53:45] Speaker A: So that is your gift from knife sword that he made. [00:53:50] Speaker C: Aw, how lovely, bud. [00:53:53] Speaker E: You're welcome. And I also gave one to Warville. I gotta write that. [00:54:01] Speaker C: How did that go? [00:54:02] Speaker E: Well, I had to sneak in and put it under her ear while she was sleeping. [00:54:05] Speaker A: Yeah. So with that, we're gonna end here for today. [00:54:12] Speaker D: Little role play episode. [00:54:14] Speaker A: Yeah, a much happier role play episode for the overall. [00:54:19] Speaker B: For the most part, it ended better. [00:54:21] Speaker A: Yes. [00:54:22] Speaker B: On a higher note, I should say. [00:54:27] Speaker A: Thank you for listening to the Crack Die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape. Because Epic Games deserve Epic music. Please visit [email protected] Pathfinder second edition, Age of Ashes, adventure Path are all copyright of Paizo Publishing. Please visit [email protected] for more information.

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