[00:00:38] Speaker A: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the 71st episode of the Crack Die podcast. I'm your host and GM, Sean, and I'm doing the intro this week.
Anyway, welcome back. We've missed you. It's been a whole week. How are you doing?
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. That's good.
That's good.
Okay. Anyway, we've made it to the fortress. I can't believe it. It's been so long to get here.
I'm really excited about what's coming up and how our heroes, I guess they're heroes, deal with everything that's coming up. It's exciting.
I can't wait. Speaking of not being able to wait, if you need to get some more delicious, delicious crack dye all up in your ear holes, please, please, please come join us at Twitch tv, cracked dye on March 27 for our next episode of Absalom. In order, will we get through it? Will we have to make new characters again? Who knows? I don't. That game is gm'd by our very own twin, talon Matt, and he is doing a fabulous job. Brent, Pete, myself, and. Hyah. We are having a heck of a time getting through, but it's really fun. Everyone who joins us in the chat, we have a good time. You can donate bits and subs to help us out, as well as help a charity portion of all of our proceeds from every twitch show goes to a charity. So help us do some good with that. Let's head to the table.
Welcome to the 71st episode of the Cracked Die podcast.
[00:02:42] Speaker B: Yay.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: Yay.
[00:02:43] Speaker C: Yay, yay.
[00:02:46] Speaker D: I guess we have to deal with these. These massive weird things now.
[00:02:50] Speaker E: Are these annual?
[00:02:51] Speaker B: What? The episodes?
[00:02:52] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:02:52] Speaker B: No. Why?
[00:02:54] Speaker A: Just wondering, like, one episode a year?
[00:02:57] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:02:58] Speaker B: Or is it one episode per anus? Is that what you're asking?
[00:03:01] Speaker A: Oh, right.
[00:03:02] Speaker C: Annual womp Womp.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: Also, what is up? What episode is this for you, rob? I know you were counting.
[00:03:07] Speaker E: By your own count, I think it's 364 now.
[00:03:12] Speaker B: Okay. Wow, that has advanced quickly because it was like eight.
[00:03:17] Speaker D: It blew right past us.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: You were way behind. Now you're way past us. Well, I mean, you must have, like.
[00:03:22] Speaker E: Next episode is eleven, so, you know, that's.
[00:03:24] Speaker C: I was gonna say, rob, are you cheating on us?
[00:03:28] Speaker A: Get in the closet.
[00:03:29] Speaker B: Doing other podcasts.
[00:03:33] Speaker D: There we go. Episode 71, trapped in the closet.
[00:03:40] Speaker A: Well, when we last left you guys, you had just dealt with the beta, which was a dragon creature that you guys just trounced.
[00:03:52] Speaker D: We kind of just ganked it.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: Well, like, I. Yeah, I was expecting, like, that to last a bit longer than it did.
[00:04:02] Speaker B: But now you know how it feels, Shawn. Now you know how it feels.
[00:04:06] Speaker D: I mean, Twintellen did crit it twice, which is amazing.
[00:04:09] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: So yeah, he did.
[00:04:11] Speaker C: I feel like I sneezed on it and then y'all took care of it. I was like, oh, well, I'll just cry here in this corner. It's fine.
[00:04:18] Speaker B: You took out the pillar. That's important.
[00:04:20] Speaker C: That's my thing.
[00:04:21] Speaker D: I mean, I got grabbed, I did two damage and that was it.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: You all wandered into this swampy area and you found three giant bird like creatures. They kind of look like pterodactyls in a way that have picked over a destroyed camp. Okay, in the middle here. And they slowly approached you cocking their heads left and right.
[00:04:50] Speaker B: Can I make a nature check to figure out what they are?
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:04:53] Speaker C: I was gonna say I was gonna defer to our Disney princess here.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: Oh, thank you.
[00:04:57] Speaker A: Okay, so before anything happens, let's go kind of look at everyone and see what's happening. So Saraya, what are you gonna do?
[00:05:06] Speaker D: I might also make it. Would it just be nature or is there any other kind of skill check that would have identify these things?
[00:05:11] Speaker A: Um, nature. Nature's probably your best bet.
[00:05:15] Speaker D: I mean, there's no harm in.
[00:05:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Haya, what is Brianna doing? As these creatures approach, I would say.
[00:05:20] Speaker C: She'D probably be defending just in case they do get aggressive. She'll have her shield up and just watching and waiting for twin Talon to say what to do otherwise.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: All right, and Rob, what is knife sword?
[00:05:35] Speaker E: As soon as he sees the birds, he unconsciously casts noxious vapors and starts to back away.
[00:05:45] Speaker A: Okay, sounds good.
[00:05:50] Speaker D: Are the rest of us caught in this noxious vapor cloud now?
[00:05:53] Speaker A: Uh, maybe. So twin Talon, you rolled your nature check. And what did you get?
[00:06:00] Speaker B: Did I rolled a seven for a total of 18.
[00:06:04] Speaker A: And Saraya, what did you roll for your nature check?
[00:06:07] Speaker D: I rolled a seven for a total of 17.
[00:06:10] Speaker A: As you look at them, you realize that these are called quetzalcoatus. Oh boy.
[00:06:17] Speaker C: Quetzalcoatls.
[00:06:18] Speaker D: Quetzalcoatls. Yeah.
[00:06:19] Speaker A: Yes, that's it. Quetzalcoatls. Thank you.
[00:06:22] Speaker C: You're welcome.
[00:06:24] Speaker A: And they are hungry.
[00:06:27] Speaker B: Hi, hungry. I'm dad.
[00:06:29] Speaker C: Get out of.
[00:06:32] Speaker A: I'm taking.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: Does that stun them? Are they stunned?
[00:06:35] Speaker A: Now everyone has a hero point.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: All right.
[00:06:39] Speaker C: Except Matt.
[00:06:39] Speaker A: Except for Twintalon, who I'm taking it away from for the dad joke.
[00:06:43] Speaker B: Two, right?
[00:06:44] Speaker A: No, no, I just thought we were.
[00:06:47] Speaker D: All gonna take like a d six of psychic damage.
[00:06:51] Speaker E: All I know is that. That. That joke made me vomit swarm. So, you know.
[00:07:00] Speaker D: Do I have any of the beta meat? And I have harvested some betta meat.
[00:07:04] Speaker B: We definitely cooked it last night. I mean, I can't imagine we didn't. Yeah, well, if we have anything tricky or something.
[00:07:09] Speaker D: Yeah, I will. I will throw a hunk of betta meat. If I can throw one to each, I will. But I don't know how much we have.
[00:07:15] Speaker A: So you throw a hunk of beta meat at the creatures and you see them much like seagulls in a parking lot with a loaf of bread. Jesus Christ. They start eating it.
[00:07:28] Speaker B: Okay, I'm out.
Twintalon. Okay, first of all, I'm gonna look at these pictures. They definitely look like they have teeth, so seagull teeth. I see you right here.
[00:07:37] Speaker A: Yeah. All right.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: This is terrifying.
[00:07:40] Speaker D: Give you that, mister. Seagull teeth.
[00:07:43] Speaker B: Yeah, those are terrifying.
I guess twin Talon is gonna try to use nature to calm them down. Make them just go away and not fight us.
[00:07:50] Speaker D: Just gonna shoot or.
[00:07:52] Speaker A: That would be a command animal. Yeah.
[00:07:54] Speaker B: Yeah, gonna try. Try some of that.
[00:07:57] Speaker C: Brianna will look surprisedly at Twintellen and wonder why he wouldn't want to add them to his ever growing army of lovable companions. Perhaps we can do a Gandalf here and have these as our great equals.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: That's a great idea, actually.
[00:08:14] Speaker E: Nope.
[00:08:15] Speaker B: I like it.
[00:08:15] Speaker C: You're welcome.
[00:08:15] Speaker E: Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
[00:08:19] Speaker B: Is this gonna be like ba brakis in the 18? We have to knock you out every time we wanna go on a plane? Everyone fly on the giant birds.
[00:08:26] Speaker E: I'm not having birds. Nope, nope, nope, nope.
[00:08:30] Speaker C: Brianna will also volunteer to share a bird with knife sword in case she does have to, like, hold him.
[00:08:36] Speaker A: I now just picture Brianna with a baby bjorn with knife sword in it. And he's casting while she's swinging her scimitar.
[00:08:46] Speaker B: And she can like, throw the shield up to protect him.
[00:08:49] Speaker E: Master.
[00:08:49] Speaker B: Master.
[00:08:50] Speaker C: Oh, Mandy.
[00:08:51] Speaker B: Master blaster.
[00:08:54] Speaker C: That sounds dangerous.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: Knife swords, feet kicking the whole time dangling.
[00:09:01] Speaker C: Wait, wait. Tell me when you're going to actually cast the vomit spell so I can move the shield away. I don't want to be pelted back with seagulls and raccoons. Oh, no.
[00:09:17] Speaker E: Brett.
[00:09:17] Speaker A: What gross twin talent is going to make nature check. Brianna is going to keep defending. Is that right?
[00:09:27] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:09:29] Speaker D: Sorreya and I gave them the food. I don't know what else to do.
[00:09:34] Speaker A: I mean, you could throw more food at them. They like, they devoured it real fast.
[00:09:40] Speaker D: I mean, sure, I don't know how much we have.
[00:09:43] Speaker A: You also have trail rations that you could throw. Feel.
[00:09:46] Speaker D: I think they like the meat. I don't know if I'm gonna try and give them, like, hard tech.
[00:09:52] Speaker B: That's how we kill them. They choked it up on hard tack.
[00:09:55] Speaker A: So you throw more, more meat at them and knife, sword. You've backed away a little bit at this point, and.
[00:10:04] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:10:06] Speaker A: All right.
[00:10:07] Speaker E: Couldn't help it. Just happened.
[00:10:09] Speaker A: Would twin talon like to make a nature check?
[00:10:14] Speaker B: Sure. The same thing will last. I'm 18.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: Well, I will tell you that that is not enough. Would you like to use a hero point?
[00:10:22] Speaker B: Kind of, yeah, I guess I will. I mean, that's kind of. I think I've used hero points for that purpose before. Yeah, very on brand. Oh, I. Old natural one. Also very on brand.
[00:10:32] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:10:33] Speaker A: Oh, no. They just kind of look at you and go back to eating. But they have moved a little closer because of that failure. Also because someone is feeding them, like, much like birds there. They want more, more mine, mine. More, more mine.
What would you guys like to do?
[00:10:52] Speaker C: I want to portray again.
[00:10:55] Speaker D: I mean, can I.
[00:10:56] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:10:57] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna.
[00:10:58] Speaker D: Do you have to be trained in nature to command an animal?
[00:11:00] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:11:02] Speaker D: I mean, I'm trained in it. I'm not an expert.
[00:11:04] Speaker B: I'm also trained.
[00:11:06] Speaker A: Yeah, as long as you're trained, you can try it.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:08] Speaker D: Do I get any bonuses for being the one that's feeding them?
[00:11:10] Speaker A: Actually, you both. You've been giving both you and twin Talon bonuses, so I'm not gonna tell you what the bonus is, but, yes. Just know that you are getting a bonus. I'm adding it post roll.
[00:11:23] Speaker D: Okay. You're adding it in your head. God damn it. I rolled a three. I'm gonna hero point that.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: That is a critical fail. Would you like to hear a point?
[00:11:30] Speaker D: It's already so 23.
[00:11:33] Speaker A: 23.
[00:11:36] Speaker B: Twintelle got a 25.
[00:11:37] Speaker A: Well, that is enough. The 23 is enough, and the 25 is obviously enough to command the animals. They look at you kind of give them the out of food, buddy.
[00:11:49] Speaker D: Can I, like. And I know they're not. I don't know how intelligent they are, but can I, like, attempt to indicate or command them to, like, the body's over. That way you can find more, like.
[00:11:58] Speaker A: Yeah, actually, you kind of gesture, and they look at you, and they start walking.
[00:12:06] Speaker B: Can we gesture them toward the fortress?
[00:12:09] Speaker A: Sure. They have to fly over it to get to the Vita anyway, so there's.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: Probably some delicious frog people that way, buddy. Delicious frog of monkey people.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: Move towards you, surrounding knife sword as their wings start to beat and they fly away.
[00:12:27] Speaker B: It's like his every nightmare.
[00:12:29] Speaker D: Yeah. Everyone knows Terea has a soft spot for weird bird like monstrosities.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: As she's stroking Jasper's leathery wing, I'm.
[00:12:38] Speaker E: Casting veil to look like a tree.
[00:12:40] Speaker C: Okay, I love it.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: Hold on, hold on. Twin Talon, you're running all around. Give me a second. As the creatures fly away, twin talon, you do start to investigate a little bit and you see two half orcs appear from behind the trees and start moving towards you cautiously.
[00:13:01] Speaker B: Half orcs. Um, what do they look like? Like, do they look like they belong in the wang expanse, like the okuje? Or do they look like they are transplants like us? Because I feel like nobody who lives here would be wearing full plate or dressed in, like, black leather armor, like twin talon. So I'm just trying to get a sense of what language to try to use to talk to them.
[00:13:19] Speaker A: Totally fair. These half orcs appear as if they are dressed in brown leathers. They all have tattoos going from their cheek down to their collarbone of what looks like a black gecko or lizard. The tail starts by their ear and it winds down their cheek into their collarbone. You see they're wearing a silver neck piece and they are walking towards you slowly.
[00:13:54] Speaker B: What do you mean silver neck piece? Like a necklace or a gorget or. What are you talking about?
[00:13:58] Speaker A: A necklace? Like a necklace. It wraps around the back and is separate in the front.
[00:14:03] Speaker B: Like a horseshoe.
[00:14:04] Speaker A: Yes, but not a horseshoe. It's very.
[00:14:07] Speaker D: I forget what they're called, but I know what you mean.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: A scarf.
[00:14:11] Speaker C: No, um.
[00:14:13] Speaker E: A chair.
[00:14:14] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:14:15] Speaker B: Could be a chair. All right, so, uh, if Twintellen's the one that sees them, he'll kind of wave to them and he'll call out a moangi because they look like they're probably from here. Um, like, uh. Hello.
[00:14:28] Speaker A: They respawn back in Mwangi, what are you doing here?
[00:14:34] Speaker B: He'll look back toward his friends and he'll look at them. We've come to investigate the area.
There seem to be some. Some goings on around here which are disturbing the local wildlife.
[00:14:47] Speaker A: Do the elves know you're here?
[00:14:48] Speaker B: They do.
[00:14:49] Speaker C: This is all in Moangi?
[00:14:50] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:14:51] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: With that. You see them visibly relax a little bit when you say that you are here with permission.
[00:15:00] Speaker B: Essentially, the Kujay directed us this way to help take care of this issue.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: So you are in good standings with them?
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Last time we were there, yes. I mean, I can't say beyond that, but, uh, do you speak, uh. What is it? Taldin is technically common. Is that what it is? All right.
[00:15:17] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:15:18] Speaker B: Like, do you speak Taldon while I speak bulwange, my friends and I'll gesture back to everybody else. Uh, do not.
[00:15:25] Speaker E: I do, but I'm a tree.
[00:15:27] Speaker B: Except for him. That tree does. He is. He is root.
[00:15:32] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:15:37] Speaker C: I married you on purpose three times, Matt.
[00:15:43] Speaker A: I begrudgingly give you a hero point.
[00:15:47] Speaker C: No, don't feed his ego.
[00:15:52] Speaker A: Begrudgingly?
[00:15:54] Speaker C: His dad joke ego. Don't do it.
[00:15:59] Speaker A: They say. Oh, of course. And they switch into common.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: Okay. And twins wonders. My name is twintal, and these are my companions, Brianna, Soraya, and knife, sword. Dark hole. Seagull teeth. He'll point to the tree. And who, may I ask, are you?
[00:16:20] Speaker A: My name is ifyoke, and these are my companions.
[00:16:23] Speaker C: Well, Matt, what, uh.
[00:16:26] Speaker B: What are you doing here?
[00:16:28] Speaker A: Uh, they kind of look at each other. We are hunting a monster.
[00:16:33] Speaker C: What kind of monster?
[00:16:35] Speaker A: You, uh, it looks as if Yaak is searching for the right words. She's having trouble translating. Basically, I believe you would call them a he she.
This dangerous creature maimed my nephew, and I have sworn an oath to hunt it down.
[00:16:59] Speaker D: Oh, crap. Is that the thing we found with, like, the two heads? Like, the jackal face and the regular face?
[00:17:04] Speaker A: Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
[00:17:06] Speaker D: It had a body.
[00:17:07] Speaker A: Okay, hero point.
[00:17:09] Speaker B: Yay.
[00:17:11] Speaker C: Good job.
[00:17:13] Speaker A: We were a much larger group hunting it. It is very dangerous. And when we reach the kujaeland border of our own, most who left and the three of us here decided to continue in trespassing into the okuje land.
We hope that they do not find fault with what we have done and will realize how important of a quest this is.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: I like how they were super. Like, are you supposed to be here? And I was like, yeah. They're like, okay, well, we're trespassing.
Like, oh, yeah, we actually found one. It had attacked an angel, a coral angel, I believe, and we killed it.
[00:18:03] Speaker A: Oh. Can you describe what it looked like, or do you know? It's its name.
[00:18:08] Speaker B: The ishi.
[00:18:10] Speaker C: Kishi.
[00:18:12] Speaker B: Kishi. I don't remember its name, but it had a jackal face on the back of its head. It had dark skin on its face, like the okuje. And it had weird hands. I remember that.
[00:18:24] Speaker A: Did it?
[00:18:25] Speaker B: I thought it, like, backwards hands or something. I could be thinking of something else.
[00:18:29] Speaker C: No, I think that does sound familiar. I'm trying to remember if they gave their name, because didn't we have a conversation with him before? It.
[00:18:36] Speaker B: No, he just pretended to speak Mwangi. But as the only person that spoke Muangi, I realized he was just making noises. Yeah, he was just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You guys are like, oh, it's probably Mwangi. And I'm like, it's not Mwangi.
As I snuck around behind him.
[00:18:53] Speaker A: That does sound like Etoro, the kishi that maimed my nephew. You see that she looks kind of sad that she couldn't deliver the killing blow, but then you see that she picks up and goes, well, at least the mission has been completed. Please stay with us for the night, and we must celebrate. We don't have much, but we can offer you some food. And I would like to share some of our native alcohol with you in celebration.
[00:19:26] Speaker C: We would be honored.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:19:29] Speaker B: We also have two other companions which are not here. A spider woman named Rinali and also a dinosaur, which is hanging around off screen for a while for a couple episodes.
[00:19:40] Speaker A: Now.
[00:19:41] Speaker D: That's true.
[00:19:43] Speaker A: Please. The more the merrier. And with that, the half orcs start to clean up the destroyed campsite that they had.
[00:19:50] Speaker B: Awesome.
[00:19:51] Speaker A: And rebuild it. And everyone shows up. You eat and drink into the evening, drinking a potent alcohol known as ogogoro.
[00:20:02] Speaker B: Ogogoro.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: O g o g o r o. Gogoro.
[00:20:07] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:20:08] Speaker B: Twin Talon will lament how Temmin would have enjoyed this.
[00:20:12] Speaker A: Yes.
Yeah. So now you've both. You've come across a dragon and a alcohol party. And the two party members that would have loved these things are not.
And it makes you all a little wistful. Except for knife sword. Who's getting smashed?
[00:20:32] Speaker C: I was gonna say. How smashed?
[00:20:36] Speaker E: A drink for an orc.
[00:20:38] Speaker D: Also, because Christine can't let things go. The kind of necklace is called a torque, and it's like a mostly close, but not quite close circle.
[00:20:45] Speaker A: Thank you. That's exactly what it is.
[00:20:48] Speaker B: Oh, okay. I know what that is.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: Yeah. This alcohol is enough to get full orcs drunk.
So you guys get schwasted, put more in the hole.
[00:21:02] Speaker E: I'm gonna use my mage hand to take twin knives drink.
[00:21:08] Speaker D: I don't know if that's gonna end well for you, buddy.
[00:21:10] Speaker A: As the rager goes on into the evening, if Yock comes over to twin Talon and in Mwange offers you a spear, and she says that this would have been my nephew's, but the injuries that Etoro left on him, he would never be able to wield it. So I would like to offer this to you as a thank you and a gift for dealing with the creature.
[00:21:37] Speaker B: Thank you. This is most generous.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: After looking at it, even in your drunken state. You see the runes etched on it? It is a plus one striking spear.
[00:21:47] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: Okay. I feel like Twintalon is a little less drunk than everyone because he went to go reach for his cup and it was gone.
I must have dropped it. I must have put down. It's like that moment at the party where you're like, where did my cup go? I know I had it.
He's just got the flow.
[00:22:04] Speaker E: I got a question. Is this a cold drink? Like a room temperature drink or a hot drink?
[00:22:08] Speaker A: This is. It's been carried in a water skin, so you know that it would probably be better cold.
[00:22:16] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:22:16] Speaker A: But it is at best a lukewarm temperature.
[00:22:21] Speaker E: I'm gonna use chill touch on the water skin that holds the drink.
[00:22:24] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:22:25] Speaker D: Cool.
[00:22:26] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:22:27] Speaker E: It's all frosty now.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: Frosty beverage.
[00:22:32] Speaker A: Yes, it is.
[00:22:33] Speaker B: All right.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: Party into the evening. Unless anyone would like to do anything.
[00:22:38] Speaker C: No. I think Brianna also gets somewhat pickled.
[00:22:45] Speaker B: I think twin Talon will ask them about the quexequatla, whatever they're called. What their experience with them. Like did they just attack them or do they know anything about them?
[00:22:53] Speaker A: They retested tell the story of them cooking early in the morning and not taking care of how they guarded the smells and whatnot. And obviously the smell of the food is what drew the quetzalcoatls to the campsite.
[00:23:13] Speaker D: So they're like the language bears. If you don't hide your food, yeah.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: But you can't just put it up in a tree because they're birds.
[00:23:19] Speaker D: Yeah, right there.
Gotta bury that shit.
[00:23:22] Speaker A: And they. They tell it now, very embarrassed about it. But they also can laugh about it now that they're not about to be eaten drunk.
[00:23:34] Speaker D: Saraya is like, it's fine. We killed a dragon and we sent them to get them eat. They should be fine.
[00:23:43] Speaker A: At which point the group looks at you like uh, what the beta?
[00:23:49] Speaker B: What just happened?
[00:23:50] Speaker A: Over that way you party into the evening. You wake up a little later than what you probably should, considering where you are and hungover a little bit. Slight headaches.
[00:24:03] Speaker D: Cerea mixes up the most vile concoction any of you could ever imagine and offers it to you.
[00:24:08] Speaker A: But.
[00:24:11] Speaker E: I drink it down.
[00:24:12] Speaker B: I'd rather just hate life. Thank you.
[00:24:17] Speaker E: I drink it down and ask for more.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: Twin talon just can't. Is just thinking about how much worse the explosion is gonna be when we blow the hole in the wall. Now that he has a hangover, she.
[00:24:29] Speaker A: Just like waves the vial at you.
[00:24:31] Speaker B: Just like, oh, it's gonna be so bad.
[00:24:34] Speaker A: And with that, you all say youre goodbyes to the group.
[00:24:41] Speaker D: Yeah. Did we have any, like, trophies of the kishi? I forget.
[00:24:45] Speaker A: I don't think you guys, you guys are pretty lawful, so I don't think taking trophies is something you've done.
[00:24:51] Speaker D: Oh. Because I think, I know we had. I think we took a feather from the angel because there were a couple that had fallen off of it.
[00:24:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I collected them because he wasn't using them anymore. And then I asked him after I took them if it was okay.
[00:25:02] Speaker D: Yeah, but we don't have anything from the kishi itself.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: No.
[00:25:06] Speaker A: The half orc party leaves the area, thanks you again and wishes you well on your quest. And they start to leave the Ekuje land so they don't get in trouble.
[00:25:22] Speaker B: Bunch of hypocrites. Anyway, love those guys.
[00:25:26] Speaker A: So we're back on the map. The hexploration map. You said you were gonna head north after that. Check out what's going on. Or are you?
[00:25:34] Speaker B: Yeah. One to the north to the river.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: And head one to the north to the river.
Nothing exciting again. You see the river kind of start to lead to the southeast, which is in the direction of the fortress.
And you assume that is why it's there. Because there's water flowing towards the fortress.
[00:25:56] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:25:57] Speaker A: I don't think you guys can put it off any longer. I think you have to go to the fortress now.
[00:26:03] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:26:03] Speaker D: We haven't been putting it off. We've been scouting it out.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Yeah, just making sure we don't. Nothing comes up behind us. I'm glad we did. We found. We found these drunk orcs. That was great.
[00:26:14] Speaker A: Yes. And you got a plus one striking spear off of it.
[00:26:18] Speaker C: Do you mean dorks?
[00:26:20] Speaker B: Yes, these dorks. These drunk orcs.
[00:26:23] Speaker C: You're welcome.
[00:26:24] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: You approach the fortress.
The fortress stands in the middle of a swamp built of hardened red clay atop a massive slab of granite. Thrusting up from the swampy floor, thick roots of gnarled trees crisscross this portion of the jungle. As the sodden earth gives way to the waters of a darkened swamp. A squat fortress made of red clay rises out of the murky waters surrounded by towering dragon shaped pillars topped with blazing bonfires.
As you look at the fortress here and the pillars, you notice that the bonfires are barely flickering as if whatever powered them has been destroyed. Hmm.
[00:27:20] Speaker C: Wonder what that could be.
[00:27:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:22] Speaker E: Called it just to put wood. Just like a fire.
[00:27:25] Speaker A: Bigger.
[00:27:26] Speaker B: Duh.
[00:27:29] Speaker A: In order to get to the doors.
You will need to cross this river somehow. Or this water somehow. As you look, you can tell that the water surrounding the fortress is about 5ft deep. So you would have to swim or fly or somehow cross the water.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: Wait, do they have a moat around their castle? Is that what we're looking at here?
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Yup.
[00:27:54] Speaker D: Alrighty then.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: Well, there's definitely crocodiles in it then, right? I mean, that's what you do with a moat. You put crocodiles in it.
[00:28:00] Speaker C: Or maybe the water itself.
[00:28:02] Speaker D: I said I tossed a chunk of meat into the water to check for crocodiles.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Ah.
[00:28:05] Speaker E: Can I pick myself up with mage handheld?
[00:28:07] Speaker B: No, mage hands. Five pounds.
[00:28:09] Speaker E: Well, how much do I weigh?
[00:28:12] Speaker B: More than five pounds.
At least six pounds.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Yeah. You throw them a chunk of meat in the water and it kind of just sits there. Just floats.
[00:28:25] Speaker C: Perhaps it's the water itself.
[00:28:27] Speaker E: Wait a minute. Is there like a live rat or something near me that I could try and grab?
[00:28:34] Speaker A: No, actually.
[00:28:36] Speaker B: Weird fleshy bird.
[00:28:38] Speaker D: Don't you dare use him for bait.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: Strangely enough, there is not that much around here.
[00:28:46] Speaker C: What does the water smell like?
[00:28:48] Speaker E: Fragrant aroma.
[00:28:50] Speaker A: Oh, it is muddy funk.
[00:28:53] Speaker B: I'm gonna guess.
[00:28:56] Speaker D: What skill is it? Swim isn't a skill anymore, is it?
[00:28:59] Speaker A: A.
[00:28:59] Speaker B: It's part of athletics.
[00:29:00] Speaker D: That's what I thought.
[00:29:02] Speaker E: Smells like my mother's cooking.
[00:29:06] Speaker D: Ew.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: Do we want to go in fast and loud or try to sneak in?
[00:29:11] Speaker C: You're the tactical person. What do you suggest?
[00:29:14] Speaker B: Well, I always kind of want to sneak in, but also we have this gunpowder that we haven't exploded yet.
[00:29:21] Speaker D: Oh, that's very true.
[00:29:24] Speaker C: I would say that sounds like a fantastic idea. However, aren't we also trying to save possible innocents in there? And we will have to be able to know exactly what we are dealing with and where to strategically place the gunpowder in order for it to go off safely. Yes.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: No, that is fair. Sean, can you remind us what our characters know about the fortress? What the. Because I think the only person we heard a lot about it from was the elephant guy.
[00:29:56] Speaker A: That's basically all you really know. Hezl told you that there is someone in charge here that they would report to. But other than that, you don't really know too much about.
You knew that there were dragon pillars surrounding it. That made it difficult to get in or out of.
Since you have dealt with those dragon pillars, good job, Brianna, that it's going to be much easier to get in.
[00:30:30] Speaker B: Okay, well, if you guys want, Twintellen can sneak over there, see if you can see anything behind the doors.
[00:30:39] Speaker E: Sure.
[00:30:40] Speaker B: So twin Talon will try to stealthily avoid notice and move across the. The moat to the doors on the other side.
[00:30:51] Speaker A: Okay, here's what I'm going to need from you.
[00:30:56] Speaker B: Oh good.
[00:30:57] Speaker A: I'm actually going to roll a stealth roll for you.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: Cool.
I immediately regret my decision.
[00:31:08] Speaker A: I'm going to see how well you do.
[00:31:11] Speaker B: All right.
[00:31:12] Speaker A: You could. I mean, this could be no big deal, right?
[00:31:15] Speaker B: Hopefully my stealth is 18. It's not. I'm a master of stealth.
[00:31:20] Speaker A: Right. This should be pretty good. But I also need you to make an athletics check to swim.
[00:31:26] Speaker B: Well, I'm an expert at athletics. I'm not bad at it. So hopefully this won't be the worst.
It's literally the worst. I rolled a natural one for a 14.
[00:31:39] Speaker C: Well, isn't this new session? Do we not have hero points to use?
[00:31:43] Speaker A: Oh yeah, everyone has hero points.
[00:31:45] Speaker B: So is that a failure? I'm assuming cuz I rolled natural one it is.
[00:31:48] Speaker A: All right, it's a DC five, but with a natural one you always.
[00:31:52] Speaker B: Wow. I hate to use it on this, but I don't want to drown either, so I guess I'll just use it for that last check.
And another natural one. This is fucking bullshit.
[00:32:05] Speaker C: Brianna, carry him around.
[00:32:07] Speaker A: Well, so. So hang on, hang on. Here's what's gonna happen.
I rolled your stealth roll, which was pretty good. However, since you're swimming is just north of garbage, that's going to affect your stealth roll.
[00:32:28] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:32:29] Speaker A: So you're not gonna drown or anything? As funny as I would find it.
[00:32:35] Speaker B: That'S an very horrible end for someone who's gone through as much stuff to just drown in the water for one failed skill check.
[00:32:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't, I don't think that's completely fair to do. So I'm going to make that change for you.
[00:32:52] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:32:53] Speaker A: So I have adjusted your stealth roll now. And so now I just need. I don't know, I'm just going to roll some random dice, you know, whatever, who knows why.
[00:33:08] Speaker B: No, it's not perception because perception's a DC.
[00:33:11] Speaker A: So let's see here.
[00:33:14] Speaker B: So I'm guessing it's attack rolls or some nonsense.
Dang it.
[00:33:20] Speaker A: So Matt.
[00:33:22] Speaker B: Yes, Sean.
[00:33:23] Speaker A: Give me a perception check again.
[00:33:29] Speaker B: A thing that I am good at. So I assume I will roll very poorly. Let's do this.
27. I got it. I got a 1212.
[00:33:38] Speaker A: 27. Okay. All right, so you're swimming.
[00:33:45] Speaker B: Splashing, just flailing.
[00:33:50] Speaker A: Well, that's probably part of the problem is he is making that noise, singing along.
[00:33:54] Speaker C: All right.
[00:33:55] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like the pirates of Penzance sneaking song. Just yelling at the top of my lungs as I sneak up on things.
[00:34:01] Speaker D: Yep.
[00:34:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:04] Speaker A: Here's. Here's what's, uh. Here's what's gonna happen.
[00:34:07] Speaker B: Oh, that's an initiative tracker.
[00:34:09] Speaker A: I'm gonna get everyone to roll initiative for me.
[00:34:14] Speaker D: Can we use stealth?
[00:34:15] Speaker A: Everyone but twin talent can use stealth.
[00:34:19] Speaker B: Okay, then I will change my initiative.
[00:34:21] Speaker A: Twin Talon has lost his stealth ability.
[00:34:24] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:34:24] Speaker B: Perception.
[00:34:25] Speaker A: Because he is splashing in the water.
[00:34:27] Speaker B: And it is too higher than whatever I roll here. So 22 is what I actually have.
[00:34:32] Speaker A: Great.
[00:34:37] Speaker C: My perception is definitely far stronger than my stealth. Can I just roll perception?
[00:34:40] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:34:42] Speaker C: Shut the bed with a three.
[00:34:45] Speaker D: I rolled one.
[00:34:46] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:34:47] Speaker B: That just means that you'll be able to go once we figure out what's here.
[00:34:51] Speaker C: All right.
[00:34:53] Speaker A: Knife. Sword.
[00:34:54] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:34:56] Speaker A: You get to go first.
[00:34:57] Speaker E: This is unusual.
[00:34:59] Speaker A: I know.
[00:35:00] Speaker E: Hmm.
Okay, I don't know if this is gonna work or not.
So if I cast darkness on twin Talon.
[00:35:14] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[00:35:16] Speaker E: He'll be concealed, right?
[00:35:18] Speaker A: He would be, yes.
[00:35:19] Speaker D: Wouldn't he also be blinded?
[00:35:22] Speaker B: I can't see. Sure.
[00:35:23] Speaker E: I'm not. I'm not thinking that far ahead. Um, can I make a wisdom check to see if I would realize that?
[00:35:32] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. You're gonna enforce this penalty on yourself? I'm totally, totally down.
[00:35:38] Speaker C: Oh boy.
[00:35:39] Speaker E: Nope. Yeah, this is fine. This is good.
[00:35:41] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:35:41] Speaker E: This is a good plan. Okay, so I'm gonna cast darkness.
[00:35:45] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:35:46] Speaker E: On twin Talon. I need to be closer.
[00:35:49] Speaker A: Right.
[00:35:50] Speaker E: What's the radius of that 20 foot burst area? 20 foot.
Range 100. 2120ft. So, yeah, I can definitely see.
[00:35:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:59] Speaker E: So I'm gonna do it centered on dark talon.
[00:36:02] Speaker A: All right.
[00:36:03] Speaker B: That's my new name. Because I'm in the dark, you create a shroud of darkness that prevents light from penetrating or emanating within the area. Light does not enter the area. And any non magical light sources, such as torture lantern, do not emanate any light while inside the area. Even if their light radius would extend beyond the darkness. This also suppresses magical light of your darkness spells level or lower light can't pass through. So creatures in the area can't see outside. From outside, it appears as a globe of pure darkness.
[00:36:34] Speaker E: No one will know he's there.
[00:36:35] Speaker B: Duration 1 minute.
[00:36:37] Speaker A: I'm gonna blind you.
[00:36:39] Speaker B: Cool.
[00:36:41] Speaker D: Now, is it centered on his square.
[00:36:43] Speaker E: Or on him like 20 foot radius? Foot. 20. Yeah. 20 foot radius centered on twin town.
[00:36:52] Speaker B: Right. But you can't. You cannot target me.
[00:36:56] Speaker D: Okay. That's what I was saying.
[00:36:57] Speaker B: So you target the square. Yes.
[00:36:59] Speaker E: Yeah. Yeah. The square that you're on, it doesn't.
[00:37:02] Speaker D: Move with you when you move?
[00:37:04] Speaker B: No.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: All right, so you should now have it. You should all see the 20 foot radius.
[00:37:10] Speaker E: And I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back for my ingenious way to cover up his bad swimming.
[00:37:18] Speaker A: Yeah, it's brilliant. I don't see what's wrong with this. And you are also.
[00:37:23] Speaker B: It's a sphere, which is interesting for aerial attacks from birds or dragons or whatever's coming to kill me.
[00:37:32] Speaker C: All of the above.
[00:37:33] Speaker B: Probably both. Yeah. Bird dragons. Dragon birds.
[00:37:36] Speaker C: Braggins.
[00:37:38] Speaker B: Bilbo braggins.
[00:37:42] Speaker C: Help.
[00:37:44] Speaker A: Is that your turn?
[00:37:45] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:37:46] Speaker A: So it now goes to my creature.
[00:37:50] Speaker D: So I just want to point out that on our little chat thing, I can see that there's something called a deinosuchus that is also blinded and concealed.
[00:37:59] Speaker B: Oh, shit.
So I was very into dinosaurs as a child, and a dinosuchus is a giant crocodile who lived at the same time as t rexes. And they would actually grab t rexes and pull them into, like, rivers.
[00:38:18] Speaker D: Oh, shit.
[00:38:19] Speaker B: They would kill them.
Yeah. So that's what we're fighting. That's cool.
[00:38:25] Speaker C: So is Denver still out of the picture?
[00:38:29] Speaker A: Yes. Considering how deep this is, yes.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: Isn't he, like a water dinosaur?
[00:38:35] Speaker A: So since I'm blinded, because I'm also in the radius of this effect.
You jerk.
I believe I need to make a.
[00:38:48] Speaker B: DC eleven flat check. I believe.
[00:38:51] Speaker A: Yeah. All right. So here we go. DC eleven flat check.
Let's see how this goes.
17.
[00:39:00] Speaker B: Boo.
[00:39:01] Speaker A: So it does. Well, then, now it's going to attempt to bite you.
[00:39:06] Speaker B: I'm sure it's fine. It's a giant prehistoric crocodile.
[00:39:11] Speaker A: So it now bites at you for a 41.
[00:39:17] Speaker B: That is a critical hit.
[00:39:20] Speaker A: Ooh. And you know what's great about this?
[00:39:23] Speaker B: Nothing. Nothing is great about this.
[00:39:26] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:39:26] Speaker A: It's named what, for goodness sake?
[00:39:30] Speaker B: It's named by fang face or tooth maw or something nonsense like that.
[00:39:36] Speaker A: So this is a piercing. The card is titled pierced target is slowed one until end of its next turn.
[00:39:47] Speaker B: And I also take 800 damage, I assume.
[00:39:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
Well, let's see. How bad. How bad could it be?
[00:39:56] Speaker B: And I guess bad.
[00:39:58] Speaker A: 36 points of damage.
That's already. That's doubled already. Okay, so that was its first attack.
[00:40:08] Speaker B: Wait, it was there at the start of the. Was it there at the start of the initiative?
[00:40:12] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:40:13] Speaker B: So it didn't move? It was just sitting there waiting for me.
[00:40:16] Speaker A: All right, then it is going to attempt to grab you.
[00:40:22] Speaker C: No.
[00:40:24] Speaker B: So there's no way I can beat this thing. I'm gonna die.
[00:40:27] Speaker A: If it's last attack was successful, you are grab.
[00:40:31] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:40:32] Speaker A: And then it is going to attempt to do what? A. What's bigger than large? Giant.
[00:40:44] Speaker B: Huge.
[00:40:45] Speaker A: Huge. Yeah, that's. That's what it is. It's huge. It's a three by three creature.
It's going to attempt to swallow you whole.
[00:40:55] Speaker D: I knew it.
[00:40:56] Speaker B: It's gonna. It's gonna regret that.
[00:40:58] Speaker A: So I can swallow large creatures.
[00:41:02] Speaker B: I'm not large. I'm smaller than that, so no.
[00:41:04] Speaker A: No dice up to large creature. Sorry.
[00:41:07] Speaker B: Oh, damn it.
[00:41:08] Speaker A: The monster attempts an athletics check. Opposed by the creature, the grabbed creatures reflex.
[00:41:13] Speaker E: DC you do all Drax on it?
[00:41:16] Speaker C: Um, that doesn't have concealment. You have to roll.
[00:41:21] Speaker A: Oh, I do have to roll the concealment to the swallow hole.
[00:41:25] Speaker B: Ooh. Thank you.
[00:41:27] Speaker A: You're welcome.
[00:41:28] Speaker C: Also, um, just to clarify, all reactions you cannot do until it is your turn.
[00:41:36] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:41:36] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:41:37] Speaker D: Fuck.
[00:41:38] Speaker C: All right, never mind. Cause I just try to reread the liberating step tag and.
[00:41:43] Speaker A: Yeah, so I rolled the D 20 to attempt to swallow hole.
I rolled a four. I needed a five.
[00:41:51] Speaker B: Yes.
Thank you. Hiya.
[00:41:56] Speaker C: You're welcome, my love.
[00:41:57] Speaker A: But just so you're aware, Matt and audience listening at home, twin talon currently is blinded, concealed, flat footed, grabbed, immobilized and slowed. One for those keeping track, that is six conditions.
Twintality, it is your turn.
[00:42:22] Speaker B: Good gravy. Well, how do I get out of somebody's mouth? What's that? Set an escape?
[00:42:29] Speaker A: That would be a yes. Christine just did it. So, how did you do that, Christine?
[00:42:34] Speaker D: Escape, I believe, is your athletics.
No, it's an unarmed attack.
Unarmed attack against their athletics. DC.
[00:42:43] Speaker A: All right.
[00:42:44] Speaker D: Because I'm terrible at athletics, but I'm pretty good at unarmed attacks.
[00:42:50] Speaker A: So would you like to try that?
[00:42:54] Speaker B: Sure.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: Relent to the dark death that you're about to face?
[00:42:58] Speaker B: Well, my options are to stab at the. Stab at the heart of the.
[00:43:04] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:43:05] Speaker B: Unfortunately, it went before me and.
[00:43:09] Speaker A: Okay, cool.
[00:43:10] Speaker D: Restrained. You can't.
[00:43:12] Speaker B: Right? Either to attack it or to try to get free. Or I can use the two, so I only have two actions this turn, so. Or I can use the two actions that I have to pull out a barrel of explosives. Oh.
[00:43:25] Speaker C: But for that to work, you'll have to sacrifice yourself, too, I would imagine, which is not ideal.
[00:43:33] Speaker B: Not ideal.
[00:43:34] Speaker A: Yeah. So are we gonna deep blue see this?
[00:43:37] Speaker C: Please, please.
[00:43:37] Speaker B: No, I was gonna say jaws.
[00:43:39] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:43:39] Speaker B: But deepest blueish. My hat is like a shark fan. Yeah.
Oh, man.
[00:43:47] Speaker C: Please know.
[00:43:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess I'm going to try to break free, because I don't want to be in its mouth, that's for sure.
[00:43:54] Speaker A: Versus its athletics. DC. All right. I know what the DC is.
[00:44:00] Speaker B: I feel like it's not going to work because these things usually, I don't know, second edition is different, but first edition, it was always like, if it's a. If it's a creature built for grabbing you, it's DC's like, 40 and you'll never hit it.
[00:44:10] Speaker D: I mean, I got out of the vita, so.
[00:44:13] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll see.
[00:44:15] Speaker E: And now you're in full release.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: 34.
[00:44:19] Speaker A: 34 will just.
Just make it.
[00:44:26] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
[00:44:28] Speaker A: Okay, so you are no longer grabbed.
[00:44:33] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:44:35] Speaker A: You're just blind and concealed.
[00:44:39] Speaker B: Okay. Then I am going to use my second and final action to stealth away from it at full speed, because that's the thing I can do. Given that. Even though you're swimming, I think so.
It says swift sneak is move full speed when you sneak, including when you burrow, swim, climb or fly.
[00:44:58] Speaker A: Okay, there you go. Perfect. So go ahead and roll a swim check.
[00:45:05] Speaker B: Well, they swim check. That's right. That's that thing that I totally shanked earlier.
[00:45:10] Speaker A: Athletics. Yeah, athletics.
[00:45:12] Speaker B: Okay. 24.
[00:45:14] Speaker A: Yeah. So you move through the water 10ft plus 5ft for every 20ft of your land speed. That's 15ft for most PCs.
[00:45:26] Speaker B: Yeah, that's me.
[00:45:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:45:29] Speaker B: I am a PC, so.
[00:45:30] Speaker A: Yep.
So how would you like to move 15ft?
[00:45:35] Speaker B: I'm just going towards back my friends, because.
[00:45:38] Speaker A: Screaming as you're bleeding.
[00:45:40] Speaker B: No, I'm stealthy.
[00:45:43] Speaker A: You're still bleeding, though.
[00:45:44] Speaker D: Just beakery.
[00:45:48] Speaker B: Again.
Stealthing.
And I will roll my stealth as well, since it has to be versus a DC 31. So I don't know if that beats his. If his perception is 21 or higher, then I. His perception mod, then I don't fool him. But if it's not, then he doesn't know where I went.
[00:46:07] Speaker A: So your total is 31. Okay. I know what's happening with the dinosaur.
The dinosaur? Alligator. Yep. Soraya, it is your turn. You still haven't seen any of this?
[00:46:20] Speaker D: I mean, I can see the. The black orb, right?
[00:46:23] Speaker B: You hear thrashing happening? Probably. There's no way that thing's quiet.
[00:46:27] Speaker D: Yeah. For real? Um hmm.
[00:46:30] Speaker B: Yeah. Tim Tao's not a proud man. He definitely cried out when this thing, or, like, yelled when he got attacked by it.
[00:46:36] Speaker A: Holy fuck.
Saraya.
[00:46:40] Speaker D: Yes?
[00:46:41] Speaker A: You noticed because I made a secret check for you.
[00:46:45] Speaker D: Oh, great.
[00:46:46] Speaker A: I love secret checks. They. They make the game so much more fun for me.
[00:46:50] Speaker D: Oh, what do I notice? With my secret check. What do I see with my special eyes?
[00:46:53] Speaker A: With your special eyes, you notice that some boggards are on the very tip top of this fortress and they start to peer over as they heard a.
[00:47:07] Speaker B: Yell how high this is when those birds sweep out of the sky and take them off.
[00:47:12] Speaker D: Yeah, right. I um. How tall is the fortress?
[00:47:15] Speaker A: The fortress is 20ft tall.
[00:47:18] Speaker D: So to target them with a bomb I'd have to be like right underneath them.
[00:47:23] Speaker A: Or I mean you would take minuses because it would be outside of your range.
[00:47:31] Speaker D: So you're thrashing in the orb of darkness. I see the boggarts start to show up.
Crap.
[00:47:37] Speaker A: I just realized that I, I gave knife, sword toys to play with and I'm very upset about this.
[00:47:44] Speaker D: Oh no. Okay, so Jasper, being my valet is going to deliver my sling to me.
[00:47:52] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:47:53] Speaker D: So I don't have to take an action to dig that out.
[00:47:56] Speaker B: Don't you have to? Does he get an action every turn for free?
[00:48:00] Speaker D: So with the valet familiar thing, you don't have to designate their actions. Um, that's uh, yeah, you can command your familiar to deliver you items more efficiently. It doesn't use its two actions immediately. Instead, up to twice before the end of your turn you can have your familiar interact to retrieve an item of light or negligible bulk and place it in one of your free hands.
[00:48:22] Speaker A: You still need to spend the two actions or the action to give Jasper two actions.
[00:48:26] Speaker D: So I use an action too. But yeah, I guess I'll just draw it because I can draw and strike with my bones.
[00:48:33] Speaker A: No problem.
[00:48:35] Speaker D: Um, yeah, so I'll pull up my sling and I will aim. I think I'm gonna have to move and then I will aim at one of the bonkers.
[00:48:41] Speaker A: Just remember that if you step into the water you then have to swim.
[00:48:46] Speaker D: Where. What's the difference between water and land? Because it all looks the same.
[00:48:49] Speaker A: Uh, your base, I mean you're all in the shallows from where you were. So let me draw a line here real quick.
[00:48:56] Speaker D: Yeah, because like I have no indication of depth.
[00:48:58] Speaker A: No, I know, I know, I'm sorry. I realize that now. So anything crossing that line is 5ft deep.
[00:49:06] Speaker D: Is there like another shallows on the other side?
[00:49:08] Speaker A: No, you would have to get to the doorway. The doorway is the only other part that is above the water.
[00:49:17] Speaker D: Yeah, I don't think I can get in range of anybody. Then um, can I actually see? Send Jasper across with a rope to tie it to something so there's at least like a lifeline we can cling to.
[00:49:28] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. So if you give him two actions, he will start to move. How fast does he move?
[00:49:35] Speaker D: He's got a flight speed of 25ft.
[00:49:37] Speaker A: Okay. First action is he's gonna get the rope. Second action is he can fly 25ft. So go ahead and move him. Yep, send him 25ft.
[00:49:46] Speaker D: I think he gets both the dragon pillar. So yeah, Jasper's gonna at least start getting the rope across. And in the meantime, I'm gonna try and throw a frost vial at the edge of the darkness and see if I can't like, freeze some of the water.
[00:49:59] Speaker A: Okay. Also, don't forget there are some basic actions like taking cover which will add to your ac lying prone. Giving up.
[00:50:09] Speaker D: Well, my first action giving up. Send Jasper. My second is gonna be to chuck the froth file.
[00:50:13] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:50:14] Speaker D: Okay. So 22 to throw the frost file, which would hit about right at the corner of the darkness.
[00:50:20] Speaker A: Okay. I will say that it will freeze some of the ground.
It will be a very thin freeze. I wouldn't call it like, you know.
[00:50:33] Speaker D: I'm not expecting it to like create like a flow you can stand on.
[00:50:36] Speaker A: So I will say that that is now difficult terrain for swimming.
[00:50:40] Speaker D: And then I will point out the boggarts to knife sword and Brianna.
[00:50:44] Speaker A: Okay, Brianna.
[00:50:47] Speaker C: I've been debating what to do.
[00:50:48] Speaker A: I know it's like this fight is really hard.
[00:50:51] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I really do want to use my shiny new toy.
[00:50:56] Speaker A: It has a range of 120ft.
[00:50:59] Speaker D: Yeah, you can just like, launch those spikes.
[00:51:03] Speaker C: I'm kind of, kind of wanting to do that, but I don't know. I'm happy and open to ideas. I target the boggarts or should I target this fucking monstrosity that almost killed my best friend?
[00:51:15] Speaker D: Which is the annoying part, right, yeah.
[00:51:19] Speaker C: All right, boggers it is.
[00:51:20] Speaker B: Yeah, there's that. And also I'm wondering if the bogus are gonna come flying off of that roof anytime soon.
[00:51:25] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm wondering if maybe a gravity well is gonna open.
[00:51:29] Speaker B: Uh huh. Yeah. But no, I think the shield's a cool idea and. And we haven't used it yet, so I'm interested to see how it works. Pew pew.
[00:51:38] Speaker A: It would be the same as throwing your javelin.
[00:51:40] Speaker C: All right.
[00:51:41] Speaker B: And then it would be two d six damage when they hit.
[00:51:45] Speaker C: All right, I'm gonna do it.
[00:51:47] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:51:48] Speaker C: All right, 31.
[00:51:50] Speaker B: Oh, nice.
[00:51:51] Speaker A: 31. On which boggard? Well, one of the.
So knife sword. Once again, he has also blinded and concealed one of the boggards. So you only see three of them.
[00:52:10] Speaker C: All right, I will attack the next one over. Okay, we'll just go down the line. Why the heck not?
[00:52:17] Speaker A: That. So, what did you roll? A 31.
[00:52:20] Speaker C: Correct.
[00:52:21] Speaker A: So go ahead and draw a critical hit. Cards?
[00:52:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:52:25] Speaker C: Heck yes.
[00:52:27] Speaker B: These are boggard, swamp, Sears.
[00:52:29] Speaker A: They are.
[00:52:31] Speaker B: Sounds druidy.
[00:52:33] Speaker C: Piercing, right?
[00:52:34] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:52:36] Speaker C: Deep wound. The target is sickened. Three.
[00:52:39] Speaker B: All right, so four or two. D six times two. And then second three.
Nice.
[00:52:47] Speaker C: So eleven times to 22.
[00:52:52] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:52:52] Speaker C: I got math sometimes.
[00:52:54] Speaker B: Yeah, it's nearly Max damage.
[00:52:56] Speaker A: So that was one action?
[00:53:00] Speaker C: Yes. Let me double check.
[00:53:01] Speaker B: Yep, that's true.
[00:53:02] Speaker A: No, it was. And what I want you to do is think really hard.
[00:53:07] Speaker D: Why?
[00:53:07] Speaker A: Really? And come back next week.
Two actions.
[00:53:13] Speaker C: Yeah. And it's my turn. As usual, I'm finally complete with j char.
[00:53:19] Speaker D: Is that me?
[00:53:20] Speaker C: You're in so much trouble.
[00:53:21] Speaker B: I think that's you, Sean.
[00:53:23] Speaker D: Let.
[00:53:24] Speaker A: Hi.
[00:53:24] Speaker D: I finish. Return.
[00:53:25] Speaker A: Thank you for listening to the Crack Die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape. Because Epic Games deserve epic music. Please visit
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