The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 46 - Push It

[00:00:40] Speaker A: For episode 46 of the Cracked Die podcast. My name is Matt. [00:00:46] Speaker B: I play twin Talon on the show. [00:00:47] Speaker A: And lucky you, you get to hear my dolcet Jones two weeks in a row. This weekend we are doing that twitch thing that we do where I run one shot adventures for Haya and Sean and two other of our friends, Brent and Pete, live on Twitch. You can check us out at Twitch TV, thecrackedie. This is our fourth installment. It is this weekend, Saturday, August eigth, from 01:00 p.m. To 05:00 p.m.. Eastern. And there might be a little something interesting at the end of it. So it might behoove you to tune in. First and foremost, thank you to all of our fans who've got us to affiliate. We have five subscriptions, which means we have our first channel emote coming. We also have some channel artwork in the works that'll be showing up toward the end of August, I believe. And if you didn't know if you have an Amazon prime subscription, which I'm going to bet most of you do, you get one free Twitch subscription a month. So if you're not doing anything with it, if you're not subscribing to some other channel which you enjoy, please think about giving it to us. [00:01:53] Speaker B: I mean, you're not doing anything with it, right? [00:01:55] Speaker A: Plus, next week's my birthday. Just call it an early birthday present. Give me your subscriptions. I'm not begging, but maybe this is what a plead sounds like. As someone who's never done that before, I don't know. In any case, I will waste no more of your time, which is never a waste when you spend it with me and take you into the episode. Episode 46. Push it. [00:02:17] Speaker C: Welcome to the 46th episode of the Cracked Die podcast. [00:02:23] Speaker D: They're almost 50, guys. Oh, my gosh. [00:02:26] Speaker C: Almost a year worth of episodes. [00:02:30] Speaker B: Oh, don't do that. No, we know there were some in. [00:02:33] Speaker A: The beginning, and we've done this before. [00:02:35] Speaker E: We definitely have had this conversation before. [00:02:38] Speaker D: We have. [00:02:39] Speaker C: Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and over and over again, expecting different results? [00:02:45] Speaker E: We have also established that none of us are same. [00:02:48] Speaker C: This is true. [00:02:49] Speaker B: Fair point. [00:02:51] Speaker F: This is really the definition of narcissism. Because we like to hear ourselves talk so much. We talk about the same things over and over again. [00:03:00] Speaker D: Listeners. I'm so sorry. [00:03:03] Speaker C: Yes. [00:03:04] Speaker B: Sorry, listener. [00:03:07] Speaker F: It's okay. [00:03:08] Speaker E: Sorry, Craig. [00:03:09] Speaker F: I try to download as many times as I can, but we all know. [00:03:14] Speaker D: We all know. [00:03:18] Speaker A: Previously on the Cracked Die podcast. [00:03:22] Speaker G: Our heroes discovered a vicious dragon pillar. After accidentally setting off the hazard, all heroes proceeded to attack it and tried to disarm it. However, while trying to deal with the dragon pillar, our heroes were attacked by more jungle drakes. Will our heroes be able to deactivate the pillar? Find out now on the Cracked Die podcast. [00:03:49] Speaker C: When we last left, you had just defeated some jungle drapes and you were dealing with a pillar with the head of Dahawk on top. And the head was painted green. [00:04:06] Speaker B: Right? [00:04:08] Speaker C: If my initiative tracker is correct, and the chances of that are very slim, we are going to jump right back in on Brianna's turn. [00:04:22] Speaker E: Brianna, seeing that pawnwatcher next to her is okay, that Drake seems to have breathed his last breath will swivel around and take two turns to move there to the left of the statue. And for my last action, do I. [00:04:42] Speaker C: Do a strength check? [00:04:43] Speaker E: Like, I'd like to try and put a shoulder to it and see. [00:04:46] Speaker C: You want to push it? [00:04:47] Speaker D: Yeah, real good. Push it. [00:04:49] Speaker E: Real good. [00:04:51] Speaker C: Push it. Baby, baby, baby. I'm buying. Time to read. What is. There it is. What is your athletics level at? [00:05:03] Speaker E: I'm an expert. [00:05:04] Speaker C: You're an expert? Oh, well, then go ahead and give me a wonderful role. [00:05:09] Speaker E: No pressure. [00:05:10] Speaker B: Is this the shove combat maneuver? [00:05:13] Speaker C: No, this is the athletics with a DC that I have to push the pillar over. [00:05:20] Speaker E: How's the 22? [00:05:21] Speaker C: You throw your shoulder into it and you feel it budge a little bit, but it is definitely still standing. I'm still standing. [00:05:33] Speaker E: Doesn't seem that I have any hero points, so I'll try it again next round. [00:05:38] Speaker C: Now we're going to jump to silver the bard, and he's going to say jumbalaya. He's going to take his first action to wander towards temid and twin Talon. What is his speed? [00:05:54] Speaker B: 25. [00:05:55] Speaker C: 25. [00:05:56] Speaker H: Yeah. 100. It's 100. [00:06:00] Speaker C: 510. 52nd action will be to finish that movement. And then third action is to cast guidance on temid. Yeah. So that's a plus one to an attack. Roll perceptions, check. Saving throw or skill. Check. [00:06:20] Speaker B: So I was just recently listening to our travel through the tunnel between the Citadel and the Milangi expanse where we fought Dahawk. [00:06:30] Speaker C: Yes. [00:06:30] Speaker B: And you were controlling silver, and he literally did the same thing. I was trying to disable device, and he was giving guidance to everyone but me. [00:06:38] Speaker E: But, honey, I feel like that's very thematically appropriate because silver would do that. [00:06:43] Speaker B: So accurate is what I'm saying. [00:06:49] Speaker C: I'm trying to channel my inner silver. Well, now it's the dragon pillar's turn. [00:06:56] Speaker D: Oh, fuck. [00:06:59] Speaker C: What? What's wrong with the pillar getting a turn. [00:07:01] Speaker D: It's just never been good. [00:07:03] Speaker F: And the pillar also cast guidance, too. I think that'd be really helpful. [00:07:06] Speaker D: Yeah. And it's guidance. Breath attack. It hits all of us, right? [00:07:10] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:07:11] Speaker F: Going to be really good friends with this pillar. [00:07:13] Speaker C: You're going to be great friends. Name them, Tilly. It says that it fires at the closest target within 120ft. [00:07:23] Speaker F: Pretty sure that's pond watcher, right? Because he's like 100ft away. [00:07:27] Speaker H: That's me. I'm jumping up and down. Hello. [00:07:30] Speaker E: I'm also right next to you. [00:07:32] Speaker C: So is temid. [00:07:33] Speaker E: No, it's me. [00:07:34] Speaker F: No, it's me, it's me. It's okay. I have more hit points right now. [00:07:38] Speaker C: Okay, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to roll a d six. [00:07:41] Speaker E: Okay. [00:07:42] Speaker C: I'm going to roll it in front of everyone. Oh. Remember, tables one to two is Brianna, three, four is temid. Five, six is twin, Talon. [00:07:52] Speaker H: Seven is pond watcher. [00:07:56] Speaker C: Temid. [00:07:58] Speaker E: Damn it. [00:08:00] Speaker F: All right, I'll take it to three. So it's a me. [00:08:03] Speaker C: Temid, I need you to make a very important reflex save. Oh, man. [00:08:08] Speaker F: This is 18. So I rolled at six and I got a total of 18. [00:08:15] Speaker C: Not enough. You take 19 points of poison damage. [00:08:21] Speaker E: Minus five because I liberating step him. [00:08:24] Speaker F: Oh, goodness. [00:08:25] Speaker C: You take 14 points of poison damage as green beams shoot from the pillar's eyes as smoke is billowing out of it. [00:08:35] Speaker E: Gross. [00:08:36] Speaker C: Don't like that, Soraya. [00:08:39] Speaker D: Okay, well, I am going to then take one action to hand Jasper an acid flask. Okay, can I take my next two actions to give him four actions? Because I don't think he has enough speed on his own to fly over. [00:08:53] Speaker C: No, you can only spend one action to give your familiar two actions. [00:08:58] Speaker D: Damn it. Okay, so while he can still get 25ft. So he's carrying acetlask over. He's about 10ft away from silver. And Soraya is just going to move a little closer. [00:09:09] Speaker C: All right. After Surreya is Pond watcher. [00:09:14] Speaker H: Hello, GM. How tall is the pillar? [00:09:19] Speaker C: The pillar stands an impressive ten foot tall. [00:09:23] Speaker H: I see. [00:09:24] Speaker C: This is actually what the pillar looks like. The head is green instead of yellow. It's kind of embedded in a stone base with a wooden log and horns coming out the side of it. [00:09:37] Speaker D: Very cool. [00:09:38] Speaker H: So I'm going to use two move actions to run up to the side of the pillar. [00:09:42] Speaker C: Okay. [00:09:43] Speaker H: And then I am going to attempt an athletics check to topple. [00:09:47] Speaker C: Yes. [00:09:48] Speaker H: And I roll a 31 30. [00:09:52] Speaker E: That's what I'm talking about. [00:09:54] Speaker B: Holy moly. [00:09:55] Speaker C: The pillar shakes and falls over as pond watcher pushes with all of his strength, and it tumbles to the ground, barely missing. Brienna, you're a bad pillar. [00:10:06] Speaker H: Don't like dragons. [00:10:08] Speaker C: As soon as it hits the ground, the smoke seems to dissipate from its nostrils. [00:10:14] Speaker H: I thought you were going to just say it blasts straight up into my face and just melts my entire nostril. [00:10:19] Speaker C: No. [00:10:21] Speaker D: I do have a question for you, though. Are you going to puke into the pillar's mouth? [00:10:25] Speaker H: It's early yet. We'll see what happens. [00:10:27] Speaker E: I softened it for you as you. [00:10:30] Speaker H: Loosen the topsoil around it. [00:10:33] Speaker E: Yes, exactly. [00:10:35] Speaker C: With that, combat is effectively over. [00:10:38] Speaker D: That went quicker than I expected. [00:10:40] Speaker C: Yay. [00:10:42] Speaker F: How many levels do we go up? None. [00:10:47] Speaker H: I'm a level 16 sorcerer now. I don't know why. [00:10:52] Speaker C: So the pillar is knocked over. It seems to stop pouring smoke out of its nose and mouth, and everything seems to be quiet. The of the cicadas surrounds you as you stand in the open field. [00:11:06] Speaker E: What time of day is it? [00:11:07] Speaker D: Oh yeah. What time is it? [00:11:09] Speaker C: You guys stumbled upon this around midday. Because you had just traveled from one hex to this hex and discovered that this pillar was there. [00:11:18] Speaker D: If I remember correctly, there are more of these that seem to be creating the problem. Yes, it'll be causing problems for the Yukude and for the cobalt and for the elephant people, and possibly have something to do with the rings. [00:11:33] Speaker E: It's definitely a possibility. My question being, this was the thing that the cobalt had asked us to take care of, correct? They can come back. [00:11:42] Speaker D: Is that right? [00:11:42] Speaker C: Guys? [00:11:43] Speaker D: I think the cobalt were being kidnapped to work the mines. I believe that's what it was, right? [00:11:48] Speaker B: They were running away. I don't think they wanted to come back. But they wanted us to go free their leader, right? Who was still at the mine somewhere, if I remember right. [00:11:58] Speaker C: You do. [00:11:59] Speaker B: Oh, boy. [00:12:00] Speaker F: Nice. [00:12:00] Speaker C: Good job. [00:12:01] Speaker H: Well, is there anything anyone can gather by looking at the construction of this terrible omen? [00:12:09] Speaker D: It looks similar, I assume, to the one that was there right when we came out of the gate where we originally met the Yakujay. [00:12:15] Speaker C: The only difference is, the one where you met the Akuje, there was no head on it. [00:12:20] Speaker D: Yeah, it wasn't finished yet, or it had been destroyed, right? [00:12:23] Speaker H: Well, I would like to. If no one has use for this idol, I would like to deface it as much as possible. So if they come back and find that they know that someone is resisting their terrible ways, so thinking back on. [00:12:37] Speaker B: The last time we saw one of these pillars up close, twin Talon is going to look around for a satchel of like offerings or anything. [00:12:44] Speaker E: Oh, good thinking. [00:12:45] Speaker D: Okay. [00:12:45] Speaker C: Go ahead and give me a perception check please. [00:12:48] Speaker H: Okay. [00:12:48] Speaker F: Are we in exploration mode? [00:12:50] Speaker C: Yeah, let's go into exploration mode. So while twin Talon is searching for offerings or anything like that. [00:12:57] Speaker B: Kidding me. [00:12:59] Speaker C: Good roll. [00:13:00] Speaker B: I'm guessing I have a plus eleven. I rolled a 14 total. [00:13:06] Speaker C: Brianna, what are you going to be doing? [00:13:08] Speaker E: Brianna seems to be looking a little bit worse for wear. So she'll be doing some battle medicine. [00:13:14] Speaker C: It would just be a healing check at this point because you're out of combat. You're right. So you're doing that. Pond Watcher, I would like to break. [00:13:23] Speaker H: This thing as much as possible. Know some way that would make it clear that I'm just trying to be insulting. I don't know what kind of role that would be. [00:13:33] Speaker C: Okay. Temid, what are you doing? [00:13:35] Speaker F: Temid is going to perform treat wounds he can do to two people at once. I think he's also going to try to help out Brienna too. I don't know if that's actually legal or not. [00:13:46] Speaker C: No, you cannot. The target is temporarily immune to treat wounds for 1 hour. [00:13:50] Speaker F: So my DC was 20. I forgot that I could have gotten that automatically but I rolled and I got a 32 anyway. [00:13:59] Speaker C: So you both heal 48 plus. [00:14:02] Speaker D: Good lord. [00:14:03] Speaker F: Are you sure it's 48? I thought it was just plus a static ten. [00:14:08] Speaker C: So if you're doing the DC 20 and you roll ten higher, that's a critical success. [00:14:12] Speaker F: Sweet. [00:14:13] Speaker C: Doubles it. To thank you for correcting me. And if you have the wounded condition, it is removed. Soraya, what are you doing during all of this? [00:14:22] Speaker D: Depending on how much healing is accomplished, she's got the better version of elixir of life. Now to top anybody off, if we don't want to spend another ten minutes on it, she's probably also just poking around seeing if there's anything useful. And Jasper, definitely seeing that twin Talon is trying to look for things. Hops over with the everbranding torch just like he had had to do before. Like I can help in his creepy Jasper way so I can make a perception. [00:14:52] Speaker C: Sure. Make a perception. [00:14:54] Speaker D: Really not her strongest suit. It's a 23. [00:14:58] Speaker C: Okay. So Brianna and Temid, you both heal 30 hit points. [00:15:04] Speaker E: Good lord. [00:15:05] Speaker C: Pond watcher, you start breaking the arms like the spikes that are sticking out of the side off. You manage to pull the lower jaw of the dahawk head off. You kind of urinate on it. It is thoroughly destroyed. [00:15:20] Speaker H: Yes, and I want to carve my name into it. [00:15:25] Speaker C: Okay, so you carve pw heart bs. [00:15:35] Speaker D: I thought it was going to be Pond watcher rules. Shahawked rules. [00:15:44] Speaker E: I don't understand. [00:15:46] Speaker D: Brienna. Brianna, what are your initials? [00:15:50] Speaker E: I don't know. I cannot speak. [00:15:51] Speaker H: Common Pond watcher loves bard. The silver bard watcher loves bard, comma silver. [00:16:01] Speaker C: Twin. Talon and Sareia and Jasper. Search and scour the area and do not find anything like an offering or a bag of gold or anything like that. [00:16:12] Speaker D: Curses. Do we find anything else useful? [00:16:15] Speaker C: Not really. This is the middle of the jungle. You just cross the river to get here. This is kind of one of the only open spots. The rest is covered with trees and canopies. Actually, Surreya, with a 23, you probably find a couple of ingredients that you could use to craft alchemy with cool but not reagents. So with that, you guys can either press on for the night or you can camp here and search in the morning. [00:16:43] Speaker D: Do we want to do that again or do we want to sleep? [00:16:47] Speaker F: What time of day is it? [00:16:48] Speaker E: Right. I thought it was midday. [00:16:50] Speaker C: It's midday. But remember, you can only explore one hex a day. Unless you want to move into another hex. But you would do it at night and you would not get to rest and recharge your spells or anything like that. [00:17:02] Speaker B: I would like to rest also. If someone could hit me with the treat wounds after, I would appreciate it. [00:17:09] Speaker E: You're the healer. I just want to save your strength, if anything, because you're better at it than I am. [00:17:15] Speaker F: So how about we play it so that Ahmed, the two of you are discussing healing. He's kind of like taking you under his wing as far as healing goes. So that while he was healing the two of you, he was giving you some tips. And you're going to go test out your new skills on your buddy twin, Talon. Because if you hurt him, who really cares? He's your best friend. [00:17:37] Speaker E: He won't be mad at me forever. [00:17:41] Speaker C: So Haya, you can pick what your difficulty is DC 15 gives you if. [00:17:49] Speaker F: You succeed at depends on her expert. Is she trained? [00:17:55] Speaker E: I'm trained in medicine. [00:17:57] Speaker F: So then she can't do the extended version. [00:18:00] Speaker C: Right. [00:18:02] Speaker F: So your DC is 15. Just straight up for a. [00:18:07] Speaker E: Well, I fail and I don't have a hero point. So she'll look over at tamed as like she has her finger in Porto and Talon's wound. Be like, I think I'm doing this wrong. Temad, would you mind teaching me how to do this again? I'm sorry. I'm sorry to Talon. I'm so sorry. [00:18:26] Speaker C: You didn't critically fail. [00:18:29] Speaker E: Yeah, but I cannot staunch the bleeding with just my finger. I don't have a bandage. [00:18:33] Speaker H: Put a dagger inside. That will stop it. [00:18:36] Speaker B: I wasn't bleeding before. [00:18:40] Speaker H: He just had a bad bruise. [00:18:42] Speaker C: And you just stabbed him and now he's dead. [00:18:46] Speaker H: It's the leeches. The leeches will help his bad blood get out of his body. [00:18:51] Speaker D: That's what I was doing. [00:18:52] Speaker E: I was bleeding him so the bad blood will go away. It's fine. I know what I'm doing. [00:18:57] Speaker F: Modern medicine has proven that that's not actually a thing. It's all right. Can you cut the bandage so that your arm is no longer attached to his head so that I can help in this situation? [00:19:14] Speaker E: Help? I'm tangled. How do I bandage? I don't understand. [00:19:22] Speaker H: Can't you just ask God for help? Like, what do you do with the bandages? [00:19:26] Speaker F: But how far down is twin talon? [00:19:29] Speaker H: Nine down. [00:19:29] Speaker F: Okay, so then, yeah, he's just going to take assurance and get two d eight plus ten. [00:19:33] Speaker C: But. [00:19:34] Speaker F: So you'll be topped off. [00:19:36] Speaker H: Okay, so while all of this is happening, Pond washer is going to regale everyone with a tuba solo. [00:19:43] Speaker E: Nice. [00:19:45] Speaker H: It's been too long and you guys are probably missing. You know, we're going to bed down for the evening. [00:19:50] Speaker D: Anyway, Jasper is related to this giant, shiny thing. Come out. Right, Jasper. [00:19:57] Speaker H: Listen to the dulcet tones of this weird horn I found. [00:20:01] Speaker F: So while this is going think, you know, around the campfire, temid pulls out all the many mugs that he has been clanking around in his backpack, hands it to each person and uses his bottomless stein to kind of fill it up. And we all watch Pond watcher play a jaunty tune on his tuba. [00:20:15] Speaker D: Can tuba music really be described as in my world? [00:20:19] Speaker C: Yes. [00:20:20] Speaker B: The way he's doing it, yes. [00:20:22] Speaker H: There's a lot of exaggerated, like, bumping, jaunting motions, marching. [00:20:28] Speaker C: Anwar, I need you to give me a survival check to build the camp. [00:20:35] Speaker F: Right. [00:20:35] Speaker C: Anyone can help you get a plus four. Oh, jeez. [00:20:39] Speaker E: Tema does not need her help. [00:20:40] Speaker D: 32. [00:20:41] Speaker C: All right, Matt. [00:20:42] Speaker D: 20. [00:20:44] Speaker B: Wow, I wasted that. 28 helping you, then. [00:20:47] Speaker C: 37. So you critically succeed building your camp, and now you sit around the campfire and listen to a jaunty tune on the tuba. [00:20:58] Speaker D: Yes. [00:20:59] Speaker H: Which ruins the entire purpose of hiding the camp because now there's this really loud tuba going on. [00:21:05] Speaker F: No. [00:21:05] Speaker D: Scare away all the things like the saps and everything. [00:21:09] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:21:10] Speaker F: The way I see it is that tent was built so beautifully that it blends in perfectly to the surrounding area. And then all you hear is tuba music coming out of nowhere. You're like, what is going on? I got to get out of here. [00:21:24] Speaker H: Strange druids around here. We got to avoid this area. Those are weird cultists. [00:21:32] Speaker C: So you all bed down for the night. Pond watcher, as you sleep, you see your mother appear to you in your dreams. She walks slowly forward towards you and without saying a word, touches the. Oh, my God. What's your weapon, Halbert? Halberd. Thank you, tuba. She slowly walks forward and touches the halberd without saying a word. You see the Halberd start to glow and vibrate in your hands, and then she disappears, and the glow fades from the Halbird. [00:22:15] Speaker H: Mother. Mother, come back. What's happening? Where are you, stepmom? What are you doing? [00:22:22] Speaker C: Sarah? What? [00:22:27] Speaker D: I'm confused as to how I'm involved. [00:22:28] Speaker C: In this, but okay, while you're sleeping, you have a vision. You see the green head of Dahawk appear and fade out. You see the same head of Dahawk appear to you, but this time it's blue and it's ravaging a town. It slowly fades out into a red head of Dahawk and then fades away. [00:22:49] Speaker D: Now, I know this is a dream, but do I get any sense of where these might be direction wise or. [00:22:55] Speaker C: No, not a bit. [00:22:57] Speaker D: Damn. Okay. [00:22:58] Speaker C: You then see a giant skull of dahawk with flames burning, and it's surrounded by blue, black, indigo, yellow, orange, red, and violet spheres circling around it as if protecting it. Then suddenly, a flash of fire erupting around the skull. [00:23:22] Speaker D: So much. [00:23:23] Speaker E: Nope. [00:23:24] Speaker C: Washing over everything and burning the entire Milwangi forest to nothing but ashes. [00:23:31] Speaker D: This is a whole lot of nope. [00:23:33] Speaker C: Nope. [00:23:34] Speaker D: Then you wake up nobody. Nope. She's, like, equally torn between, like, that's nothing new. And also, that's worse than usual. [00:23:42] Speaker H: Jeez. [00:23:43] Speaker F: Yeah, I feel like she would just get up and walk to the ring and just be like, no, see, I'm out. [00:23:52] Speaker D: She's literally been having these crazy ass visions of things burning, like, her whole life. This is just a little worse than usual. And she's going to probably actually just chalk it up to having fought the pillar. [00:24:02] Speaker E: Oh, no, she's fighting for the dream. [00:24:06] Speaker D: No, she'll definitely tell people that. Yeah, she saw. There was, like, a vision of other ones, and there's, like, a giant something she feels is probably the culmination of all of it that is threatening the entire expanse. But, like, she's not going to wake up in cold bliss about it. She'll probably wake up, roll over, and be like, that's what I'm going to remember to tell people in the morning. [00:24:25] Speaker F: She writes it in her dream journal, but, like, her nightmare journal. [00:24:28] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. She dictates it to Jasper. [00:24:35] Speaker F: He looks at you like, do you think I can actually write? [00:24:38] Speaker D: He has annual dexterity. Thank you. [00:24:41] Speaker C: He can't. That's the scariest thing. [00:24:46] Speaker H: Jasper, take this down. [00:24:48] Speaker D: Yes, exactly. Who do you think wrote down all. [00:24:50] Speaker C: Her formulas in the cave? It wasn't her. So you wake up the next morning after having these lovely visions, and you all can decide where you're headed off to. Renullia is obviously with you. [00:25:05] Speaker H: Mine wasn't so bad. I mean, there was something weird about it. [00:25:09] Speaker D: Just saw mama. She blessed your weapon. [00:25:10] Speaker H: She wasn't, like, undead or so, like, that's kind of, like, pleasant, you know? [00:25:16] Speaker F: I bet you have, like, a plus three Halliburton now. [00:25:19] Speaker H: Oh, yes. [00:25:21] Speaker B: So I would vote. I mean, does Sarah tell us about. [00:25:25] Speaker C: Her dream or pond watcher? [00:25:28] Speaker D: Does Pond Watcher say, I had a dream and I saw my mom? [00:25:31] Speaker H: No, obviously not. That's weird. [00:25:35] Speaker D: That's not cool. [00:25:37] Speaker H: I didn't tell you about the dream where the bees picked me up and carried me into the woods, did I know? [00:25:46] Speaker D: But no, she'll definitely like as we're all having breakfast, I guess, because we have to do that. I don't know if it was just because we found that pillar last night, or if it's just being closer to all of this, but I do believe there are more. And I think there is either something that is powering them or something that whoever built the pillars are trying to protect or summon. And that, I think, will be something we'll have to overcome. It's being protected by something, as far as I could tell. And, yes, I think there are more of these pillars and something else that they're perhaps powering that we'll have to take down. [00:26:24] Speaker B: We know there's another pillar to the southwest of here. It's possible that there is some central thing that as long as one of the pillars still stands, it'll be protected in some way. So this one had, what was it? Poison. Right? [00:26:42] Speaker D: Yes. [00:26:43] Speaker B: So maybe when we get to wherever we're going, if this pillar still stood, it would have some kind of poison attack. But now that we've taken it out, it will make the end. Whatever thing. I'm guessing it's something to do with the mine that the cinder claws are running. But maybe there's someone there that as long as this pillar stood, they would have some power associated with it. So if we take out the pillars before we go there, maybe it will be weaker by the time we make our final assault. There is one to the southwest, so if everybody is amenable to it, I would recommend we take that one out because we know it's there. And at the very least, it turns people to stone, which is bad. And I'm sure the elves would appreciate that we've taken out. And Renoli can go to the northwest from here because we don't know what's there and it's kind of on our way back anyway, so it'd be nice to know what's there, too. [00:27:31] Speaker C: All right, so you all head to the northwest and southwest renewali will head to the northwest. [00:27:43] Speaker D: There we go. [00:27:44] Speaker F: Yeah, just fyi, Tem had spent, like, whatever healing spells he had left over topped everyone else off in case anyone. [00:27:54] Speaker C: For having a nice rest. You get your constitution modifier, times your level, and hit points back as well. [00:28:01] Speaker F: Okay, so everyone's at max hit points now? [00:28:04] Speaker C: Yes. [00:28:05] Speaker H: It's just so weird. I didn't take any damage. It's so weird. [00:28:10] Speaker C: All right, so as you approach, you see that a recent battle seems to have taken place in this clearing. A dozen dead baboon like humanoids sprawl on the ground around an area of disturbed earth that looks like it may have recently held some sort of post rising from the ground, half a dozen stone statues of human explorers stand in the area in dramatic poses, the presence incongruous and unusual, to say the least. You then see a tall, handsome, well groomed blonde hair and broad mustached Taldon man. Hello. [00:28:50] Speaker B: Who are you? [00:28:52] Speaker C: My name is Gerhard Pentagrast. And who might you be? [00:28:58] Speaker F: Quickly? Sorry, does temid call that name? [00:29:05] Speaker C: Give me a society. Knowledge society? [00:29:10] Speaker F: Society ever call knowledge for say hi? [00:29:13] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:14] Speaker B: Can anybody do that? [00:29:15] Speaker C: Oh, absolutely. Everyone can. [00:29:17] Speaker B: 17 twin Talon got a 20 617. [00:29:20] Speaker D: For Surreya as well. [00:29:22] Speaker F: Eleven. [00:29:23] Speaker C: Temid got an 1112. Okay, so you all recognize this name? This man is a well known archaeologist. He has had many papers published, as well as has been published in the Pathfinder Chronicles, which is a journal put out by the Pathfinder Society and whatnot. And they all regale his wonderful, if not harrowing, adventures and discovering so many new and unusual lands and artifacts. [00:29:59] Speaker D: Really does sound like locker. [00:30:02] Speaker B: So, uh, Mr. Pendergrasts, what happened? [00:30:06] Speaker C: Oh, well, you see, I was bravely exploring the mungi expanse here, looking for local worships and figurines of the worship. And me and my crew happened to stumble upon this lovely jungle totem, and we managed to safely harvest it to take back. [00:30:37] Speaker B: Where is it now? [00:30:39] Speaker C: Oh, well, it's headed back towards the river, so we can obviously take it back to Taldor and show off how these primitive cultures survive out here. [00:30:52] Speaker D: So I just rolled a 29 to deception to see if he's, like, lying or trumping up the truth. [00:30:59] Speaker B: That would be perception. [00:31:00] Speaker D: Would that be perception? [00:31:01] Speaker C: That's perception, yeah. [00:31:03] Speaker B: I mean, you can lie to him if you want. [00:31:05] Speaker D: I mean, I would love to lie to him. [00:31:06] Speaker C: Perception. 14. [00:31:08] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:31:09] Speaker E: Brianna is of the same mind and ruled a 21. [00:31:13] Speaker D: Go, Brianna. [00:31:15] Speaker F: That one for a 15 total. [00:31:18] Speaker C: Okay, so I like how none of. [00:31:20] Speaker D: Us believe this guy. [00:31:22] Speaker H: I believe him. [00:31:25] Speaker B: 29. Perception. [00:31:28] Speaker C: You know that judging from the statues of people around here, you know that this was not safely taken. He does seem a little full of himself, but other than that, he kind of seems like he's telling the truth. [00:31:46] Speaker B: So what you're saying is that you're stealing the artifacts of indigenous people. [00:31:52] Speaker C: I wouldn't say I'm stealing anything. [00:31:56] Speaker B: But it merely liberates yours, right? [00:31:59] Speaker C: No, but you're taking it. I mean, it's to further the research, right? [00:32:06] Speaker B: But if I wanted to research your money and I took it, you'd think. [00:32:10] Speaker C: That, well, that would be theft. Yes, absolutely. But, see, we're civilized here, me and you. [00:32:16] Speaker D: And you're saying they're not civilized here? [00:32:18] Speaker C: I mean, did you not see these savage apes that were on the ground here? I merely saved this totem from the apes. [00:32:28] Speaker I: Do the apes look like they were the members of Cinderclaws? [00:32:33] Speaker C: Yes, they do. They bear the markings of cinder Claus. [00:32:36] Speaker H: Well, I mean, unpopular opinion. The Charuka do worship Dahaken, probably are evil and deserve to be murdered. So I don't really care if he also steals their totem. [00:32:48] Speaker B: I think it'll be a problem if he doesn't deactivate it and he just takes it to other people who then get turned to stone. [00:32:55] Speaker D: Oh, well, he's going to treat the akuj, given what he's already said, right? [00:33:02] Speaker C: I'm sorry, the who? And you see his eyebrows kind of perk up. [00:33:08] Speaker D: Oh, she's going to start swearing a blue streak in Elvin. [00:33:14] Speaker B: I understand that now. [00:33:15] Speaker D: An effort to just scare him back. [00:33:19] Speaker I: Emmett steps forward, and he says, there are a tribe of goblins that we met, and he tries to use deception to kind of keep him away from the akujay. [00:33:31] Speaker C: Okay, interesting. And now where did you happen to see these goblins? [00:33:39] Speaker B: They're to the northeast. [00:33:41] Speaker C: To the northeast? Interesting. I'll have to take a look next time I'm down here. [00:33:46] Speaker I: It was in a well hidden cave next to a tree. But the tree had a single pear in it and one bird sitting on it. That's how you know you got to the right tree. If you get to the tree with four pears, you've gone too far. [00:34:01] Speaker C: What is happening? [00:34:04] Speaker I: Trying to make him get lost so he doesn't hurt the Kujay. [00:34:08] Speaker D: Ask the spider people for directions. They're very friendly, the spider people. [00:34:14] Speaker C: Now we're talking. [00:34:16] Speaker I: Your friendly neighborhood spider people. [00:34:22] Speaker B: That was good, though. I respect that. [00:34:24] Speaker C: Do they have any totems that are interesting? [00:34:28] Speaker B: Twin town is going to start walking south toward the river. [00:34:32] Speaker C: Okay. You get just a few steps away and you see that there is a wagon. You can see the bottom half of what looks like the same type of wood from the last pillar. And you see the top is kind of tarped over. My good sir. What are you doing? [00:34:48] Speaker B: I'm just checking out your find here. He's going to look around. Are there any other people alive? [00:34:54] Speaker E: No, not even his crew. [00:34:57] Speaker B: I think they're the stone people. [00:35:00] Speaker F: Oh, Lord. [00:35:01] Speaker B: Does his wagon have any kind of animals attached to it? [00:35:04] Speaker C: Yeah, there's horses to the front to pull. [00:35:08] Speaker H: Sir, you sent your friends ahead to deal with the thing and it turned them to stone. And now you take your just rewards back to Taldor. Is that how it's working? [00:35:19] Speaker C: Yes. Unfortunate for my six assistants here, but they knew they signed up for hazardous work and, well, it's part of the deal they signed up for. Now, if you all would help me get this totem to the river, I'll give you each ten gold. A mere pittance for someone like me, but I'm sure for folks like you, it's probably a lifetime worth of money. [00:35:51] Speaker F: Hate this guy. [00:35:53] Speaker H: Well, what was your name again, good sir? [00:35:58] Speaker C: Gerhard Pentagast, at your service. And he makes a long, sweeping bow. [00:36:05] Speaker H: Well, Gerbert Pentagast, it seems you want me to be at your service. And all the things you have said I would consider to be a personal insult to me. [00:36:17] Speaker C: What is ten gold not enough? [00:36:19] Speaker B: This guy worships dragon statues. [00:36:22] Speaker H: I would like to ask how many people know that you are in these jungles here, continents away from your own home? [00:36:30] Speaker C: Oh, well, enough. He kind of looks around, a little unsure. [00:36:36] Speaker H: And how many of these people would ever know if you had been, let's say, maybe killed and dismembered and left in this jungle, never to be found again. [00:36:45] Speaker C: Well, as soon as my papers stopped showing up, obviously they would come looking for me. [00:36:52] Speaker H: Yeah, well, perhaps we might want to test that out and see what happens when you try to treat people like chattel to be used up for your own gain. [00:37:05] Speaker C: Sir, are you threatening me? [00:37:07] Speaker H: Are you just starting to understand that it took that long? [00:37:13] Speaker C: You see him pull out a weird looking weapon, something the players would recognize as a blunder bus. [00:37:22] Speaker E: Oh, boy. [00:37:23] Speaker I: Emmett draws his weapon. [00:37:24] Speaker B: Do our characters know what it is? [00:37:26] Speaker C: Yeah, you know what? Because in this age, firearms do exist. So, yes, everyone would recognize a blunder bus, which is a short stub nosed like musket in this picture, at least. [00:37:39] Speaker E: Now, Mr. Archaeologist, you really want to be pulling out your weapon when you're so obviously outnumbered? [00:37:48] Speaker C: I am being threatened, ma'am, and I will not stand for it. [00:37:54] Speaker I: So timid's gonna try to smooth the situation over a little bit. He's going to raise his rapier, actually open his hand, and kind of show that he's not gripping his rapier tightly. And he pulls out a mug. He says, how about we just have a drink, guys, and talk it over? Maybe there was a misunderstanding. And then he just kind of looks at everyone like, kind of a little bit, like, turned his head away from blunderbus guy, whatever, and kind of opens his eyes a little bit, like, come on, guys, let's just kind of keep it our cool. [00:38:25] Speaker C: He looks at you and goes, I don't have time for such a waste of time as drinking right now. [00:38:32] Speaker I: Okay, that's it. It's going on. [00:38:34] Speaker H: It's going down now. [00:38:36] Speaker D: You've insulted his God. [00:38:37] Speaker B: That's when Temp had stabbed him. [00:38:41] Speaker C: Do I need to set up initiatives and stuff? [00:38:44] Speaker E: Looks like it. [00:38:45] Speaker I: I mean, that's where this is headed. [00:38:48] Speaker C: He's prepared. Okay, well. [00:38:51] Speaker D: Oh, dear. [00:38:51] Speaker H: I mean, Pond Watcher is not going to attack him unless he attacks first. He's waiting for an apology because he's been insulted. [00:38:58] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. No, Serenity has been highly insulted, okay? [00:39:03] Speaker H: And I will literally lose my magical powers if I let people insult me. [00:39:08] Speaker C: Man, that sucks. [00:39:12] Speaker H: It's like I have evil powers that are evil and bad. [00:39:17] Speaker B: How deep is the river here? [00:39:20] Speaker C: No, if this is what you're asking. [00:39:23] Speaker I: It'S probably deep enough to drown him. [00:39:25] Speaker B: Yeah, you can. I'm thinking of just, like, pushing the cart over. He asked us to get his totem. [00:39:32] Speaker C: To the river so we could just. [00:39:33] Speaker D: Dump it in the bottom of the river. Is that what you're thinking? Yes. [00:39:36] Speaker I: Malicious compliance. [00:39:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:38] Speaker B: And then demand our ten gold. [00:39:40] Speaker C: Okay, I'm going to let you all organize yourselves as you see fit on the map. [00:39:45] Speaker E: Where's the river? [00:39:47] Speaker C: Yeah, the river is off the map. [00:39:49] Speaker E: Right, but in what direction? [00:39:51] Speaker C: It's directly south. [00:39:53] Speaker I: Everybody surround them right now. [00:39:55] Speaker C: Right. Okay. Well, temid, you were speaking to him, so you're going to have to move this way. You don't get to surround him. [00:40:03] Speaker D: You guys can all been. We've been interrogating and kind of threateningly speaking to him. I don't see why we couldn't have spread out in a circle. That's true. [00:40:13] Speaker C: No, he wouldn't let you get behind him, twin Talon. The river is directly south, just so you know. Which is why I put you down there. You can obviously move a little closer if you'd like. [00:40:23] Speaker B: He was looking at the wagon and the horses and stuff. [00:40:25] Speaker C: That's where he was as he's pulled a blunder bus on you. [00:40:31] Speaker E: Oh, jeez. [00:40:32] Speaker C: Sir, I don't have time to drink with such important things to handle. [00:40:37] Speaker E: Yes, see, the important thing you say you're going to handle, you're actually going to leave here with us where it belongs, in the river. And you are going to return home. Do we understand each other? I'm going to attempt an intimidation. [00:40:52] Speaker C: All right? [00:40:53] Speaker E: Horribly. Oh, how's the 23? [00:40:56] Speaker C: Actually, good enough. Good enough. He kind of takes a step back. Well, if you are insinuating that you are going to be destroying such an archaeological treasure, I simply cannot stand for something like that. [00:41:14] Speaker E: Destroying? By taking it out of its natural element? It is you who are destroying it. Clearly you can see the attempt of moving it has done to your comrades in arms again. [00:41:27] Speaker C: They knew what they signed up for. It's a dangerous business. [00:41:30] Speaker E: And yet, look where we are and who you are facing currently. I think you should truly run along. [00:41:37] Speaker C: Well, I never. You see him starting to sweat for the first time. He begins to step back and step away. [00:41:48] Speaker D: She's going to keep advancing on him, and she says, that's something I would love to look into and start to research. How many have died or gone missing on your adventures? How many people have you sacrificed at the altar of your own progression? How many had to fall for you to stand on their corpses and pronounce yourself a hero? [00:42:10] Speaker E: That would be a very interesting thing to perhaps look into for publications to read. [00:42:16] Speaker D: Absolutely. [00:42:18] Speaker C: I will be leaving now. Not because you are threatening me, but you ruffians haven't seen the last of a Gareth pentagrast. You vile, vile ruffians. And with that, he skitters away into the jungle. [00:42:36] Speaker B: Into the jungle, yes. [00:42:38] Speaker C: He runs into the. [00:42:42] Speaker I: Uh. [00:42:42] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:42:43] Speaker I: I kind of want to give Chase because timid's like, but you didn't have. [00:42:46] Speaker C: That drink with me. [00:42:49] Speaker D: There's no converting some people, clearly, when. [00:42:53] Speaker E: They have their heads so far up their. [00:42:55] Speaker H: I don't. I don't know if Pond Watcher can stand down now. He did not apologize. He did not say anything worthwhile, really. I think he might have to chase after him. [00:43:08] Speaker C: How about we do this? What? If you think about what Pond Watcher needs to do for about a week. [00:43:14] Speaker H: No. [00:43:15] Speaker C: Get out of here. Then we'll come back next week and figure it out. [00:43:18] Speaker H: It's too hard to think for that long. [00:43:20] Speaker C: It's too hard. [00:43:24] Speaker G: With one dragon pillar defeated and a second potentially within their grasp, will all heroes abandon this and chase after the hero? Gerhard Pentagast, this narrator would like to say, with all heroes'history of people, they probably will find out the answers to these questions and more on the next episode of the Cracked Die podcast. [00:43:55] Speaker A: Thank you for listening to the Crack Die podcast. 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