The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 30 - King of Wishful Thinking

[00:00:47] Speaker A: My name is Matt. I play twin Talon on the show. [00:00:49] Speaker B: Before. [00:00:50] Speaker A: Before we get into anything else, I want to talk about something which is affecting a lot of people, including us. And that is Covid-19 or the coronavirus, as you may or may not know. We record our show in New York City. And currently New York City is in a lockdown. Now, we do have several episodes already recorded and we will release those as planned. Additionally, we do have a setup that we can do a remote recording session. We did it before. Didn't work out great, but we've upgraded our microphone since then. So hopefully this time we will be better off. Our goal is still ultimately to get back together, but only when it is safe. So until then, we still plan to put out content for you. Because in this world of uncertainty right now, we want there to be something that you can count on. And that's us being there every Thursday morning when you wake up. Which is why it is 01:00 in the morning right now. And I am recording this because I do not want to let you down. But yeah, we really do hope that everyone out there that can hear this is safe, that your families are safe, that you're healthy, and that you will weather this storm. But in the meantime, what we can do as performers is put on a show. And we're going to do that. We're going to do that until we can. And right now, if that means remote recordings, then that's what we'll do. But in any case, there's one thing I want to get to before we get into the show. We had talked previously about the second edition core rulebook giveaway that is still going on. What we're looking for from you. If you can hear me and you have access to Apple podcasts, go on. Apple podcasts. Leave us a review. We prefer a good one, but any review will do once we get to ten, which is one more than what we have right now, we will put those names in a hat, we will draw one of those names out, and that person will win a second edition core rulebook. And that's all there is to it. So from the bottom of our hearts, we wish you and yours health and happiness in this time of uncertainty and trouble. And now, recorded from a time before all of this nonsense, episode 30, king of wishful thinking. [00:03:07] Speaker C: Welcome to the 30th episode of the Crack Die podcast. Boring. What? [00:03:13] Speaker D: My least favorite 30th episode of any podcast named the crack die. But it's also my favorite. [00:03:18] Speaker C: Wow, that's really negative about us. [00:03:20] Speaker D: It's also my favorite though. [00:03:21] Speaker C: Okay. [00:03:22] Speaker E: I don't know, Anwar. [00:03:23] Speaker F: I don't know. [00:03:24] Speaker C: All right, let's get back into this. Episode 30 midlife Crisis episode. Let's do this. [00:03:31] Speaker B: Wait, does that mean we're going to be ending at 60? Yes. Well, what book that is? [00:03:39] Speaker C: You heard it. [00:03:40] Speaker E: Maybe first, folks. [00:03:43] Speaker B: We'Re going to have. [00:03:44] Speaker C: To go through those next five books real fast. [00:03:48] Speaker B: That seems like a you problem. Yeah, let's do it. [00:03:51] Speaker C: Fast forward level seven. Let's go. All right. [00:03:54] Speaker D: You said it. [00:03:55] Speaker C: Nope. So when we last left you all. [00:03:59] Speaker A: Previously on the Cracked Die podcast. [00:04:03] Speaker G: Our heroes went on a bit of a bender. Tamid and Brianna discussed religious things. They then spoke with Greta Gardenia about the preparations Alex's body is going through. Finally, our heroes traveled down a long path into a room where they were set upon by a large number of spiders. Our heroes quickly dispatched them and are now exploring the rest of the caves. [00:04:37] Speaker C: So I'm going to let you guys kind of take hold. Temid was approaching Sareia and twin Talon was approaching Sareia. Soraya was approaching cooked and raw spiders. [00:04:50] Speaker E: She's never been this popular in her whole life. Two people are trying to talk to her at the same time. No, but she very primly fluffs her skirts and sits down and pulls out her little roll of tools and starts getting to work on the spiders. [00:05:05] Speaker C: Great roll. [00:05:08] Speaker E: She's got some tools out. She's clipping off mandibles and looking for poison sacks and checking out their limbs. [00:05:16] Speaker B: Twin Talon just kind of observing and asking questions and like, so what's the best way to harvest that without rupturing? [00:05:23] Speaker E: There's some tendons back here that you can keep everything in place. And if you're very careful, you can kind of. She makes a little flourish motion, and just like, there it is. You can just make sure that you get all behind everything. And if you are just starting out, you can always just get a vial right underneath it when you're trying. And that way, if it does burst, you can catch most of it anyway. And having an extra set of hands does help, especially if they're very small and like Jasper's, like taking the claws off the tips of the spider's legs because he's got his dexterous little claws. Did you have an interest in the physical components for things like this? [00:05:56] Speaker B: I have some interest in this kind of thing, especially the natural attacks of spiders and centipedes and things. Not only do they do their damage initially, there's also that follow up damage with venom or poison that even if their target isn't taken down immediately, they can hit it and then kind of retreat and wait for it to go down. And I've always found that very fascinating. [00:06:20] Speaker E: Yes, the entropic nature of these kinds of things have continues over time and really just hastens what nature is going to do anyway. [00:06:28] Speaker B: Yeah, and I thought that recently I've been experimenting on my own with some of the guidance you gave me previously. And I've been able to make very rudimentary tinctures to apply to my weapon. But I'd be really interested to figure out how to harvest. This stuff's got to be way more powerful than what I can make that was just made by nature. So I'm just very interested in learning more and being able to be competent. [00:06:51] Speaker E: Well, there are seven of them here. Why don't you try? [00:06:54] Speaker C: Okay. [00:06:56] Speaker B: Just like rip one in half, get it all over. [00:06:59] Speaker E: You want to be more gentle with it. So you're very good with your knives. Do you have a dagger or something a little smaller? [00:07:04] Speaker B: Sure. [00:07:05] Speaker E: So why don't you try instead of just ripping it? You can cut out, at least cut the head in half maybe. [00:07:11] Speaker C: Okay. [00:07:11] Speaker E: Because they usually do have one on either side of their mandibles there. So you can even just crack the whole thing in half, turn it on its side almost like you were dissecting it. And then you can really see what's in everywhere. And you can start to learn where the best places are to cut. And certain things generally apply across. Most spiders are very similar. Most lizards are very similar. And they'll all. And if you can pay attention to where their natural attacks are coming from, you can generally figure out where you'll want to go to harvest bone. Useful. [00:07:37] Speaker B: Gotcha. So twin Talon will follow her instruction and start to dissect one of the spiders on his own. [00:07:43] Speaker E: Can I make a crafting check and see what I find in my spiders? [00:07:46] Speaker C: Absolutely. It's funny you guys are talking about poisons because twin Talon is still. No, not twin Talon. [00:07:54] Speaker B: Not me. [00:07:55] Speaker C: Pond watcher is still poisoned. [00:07:58] Speaker E: I did get hit with the poison bite too. [00:08:00] Speaker C: Did you? Oh, that's right. So you both will. [00:08:03] Speaker E: But we have antidotes like we had. [00:08:05] Speaker C: Right? But you haven't taken them. [00:08:06] Speaker E: That's true. [00:08:07] Speaker C: I need you both to make another fortitude save. [00:08:10] Speaker D: So Temid does have treat poison. [00:08:15] Speaker C: This is for the last round before you guys killed the spider. [00:08:19] Speaker H: 30. [00:08:20] Speaker C: You're fine. So you stay at level one. [00:08:23] Speaker B: He doesn't go up a level. [00:08:26] Speaker H: It was a natural 20, by the way. [00:08:27] Speaker C: Okay, so you go up two levels, so you're fine. [00:08:31] Speaker H: He clenches his body, and just poison shoots out of the hole in his neck. I'm too angry to be poisoned. [00:08:38] Speaker E: Now, this is a very interesting reaction. Usually that doesn't. [00:08:42] Speaker C: Let's see. [00:08:43] Speaker E: Serra's fortitude seed is 21. [00:08:47] Speaker C: You were at one. You succeeded. So you go up one level, so you're at zero. You're cured. That hunting spider venom is bad. It's gross. [00:08:56] Speaker E: Okay, well, let me make my crafting check. [00:08:58] Speaker C: Yes. Now you make your crafting check. [00:09:00] Speaker E: 26. [00:09:01] Speaker C: All right, while you guys are having that chat, Brianna is standing guard. Silver and pond watcher, you guys start heading to the north of the cave, and you start cutting open the sacks. First sack that you cut open, it just reeks of decay and icker and rot. It's like something's been liquefied in here, and it just kind of starts to seep out. As you cut through it. The smell is overwhelmingly terrible. You move to the next one. [00:09:34] Speaker H: Sylvia, this smells like your old shirt that you had to throw out recently. [00:09:39] Speaker C: So you puncture the next sack, and again, it's just disgusting. It's more to the north as you move to the third one, as you puncture it. This one doesn't smell as bad. It's still disgusting. And you see the body of a human adventurer fall down. [00:09:57] Speaker H: Gross. [00:09:58] Speaker C: It's still intact. You see that it is very sallow as most of the bodily fluids have been removed from it. As you look at it, you notice that it still has a weapon on it. [00:10:10] Speaker I: Hey, cool. [00:10:11] Speaker H: What is that? [00:10:12] Speaker C: I need you to roll because I'm trying to do this properly. Now I need you to roll a crafting check. [00:10:19] Speaker I: Crafting. Okay. I do have that. [00:10:22] Speaker F: Or you can bring it to me. [00:10:24] Speaker I: I have it on. If I fail, I'll send it to you. Okay. 26. [00:10:30] Speaker C: 26. You know that you can identify this as a plus one striking scimitar. Wow. Cool. [00:10:39] Speaker I: All right. [00:10:40] Speaker E: Or you can bring it to Brianna. [00:10:43] Speaker H: Too bad no one has any use for this. [00:10:44] Speaker D: I guess. [00:10:44] Speaker H: Just put it back. [00:10:46] Speaker E: I don't know. [00:10:46] Speaker I: Is it disrespectful to the dead? [00:10:48] Speaker F: Luck you are not with an earshot. [00:10:50] Speaker C: As you move up to the last sack. As you puncture through it, something kind of glints behind it. [00:10:59] Speaker I: That's my language right there. [00:11:02] Speaker D: It's the pointy part of a trap that's about to hit you in the face. [00:11:06] Speaker E: Been there, done that. [00:11:07] Speaker C: Can you please make an Arcana check? [00:11:11] Speaker I: I can indeed. 29. [00:11:14] Speaker C: You have no clue what this is. [00:11:17] Speaker I: Whoa. [00:11:18] Speaker C: Okay, that was a fail. [00:11:20] Speaker I: I'm going to keep that for later. [00:11:24] Speaker C: Okay. It is about the. [00:11:27] Speaker B: Actually, what does it look like? [00:11:30] Speaker C: Yes. [00:11:30] Speaker B: What did you roll? [00:11:30] Speaker C: That's 29. [00:11:32] Speaker B: What's your modifier? [00:11:33] Speaker I: I rolled a natural 29. [00:11:36] Speaker B: So your arcana. Because you can't use your particle for it. [00:11:39] Speaker I: No, it's Arcana's nine. [00:11:40] Speaker C: All right, so this is a roughly two inch wide triangle. It is a golden color. [00:11:51] Speaker I: So is it like, triforce triangle or. [00:11:54] Speaker C: No. Someone drew a triangle and colored the whole thing in. [00:11:57] Speaker I: Okay. [00:11:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:58] Speaker H: What is that? [00:11:59] Speaker C: Pond watcher, I would like you to. [00:12:02] Speaker D: Make a fortitude save. [00:12:07] Speaker C: Do you have any knowledges why you. [00:12:10] Speaker B: Say it like that? [00:12:12] Speaker H: I have. [00:12:14] Speaker C: That's stereotyping dragon lore. Roll that. [00:12:18] Speaker H: Oh, no. When it comes up, it's actually a bad thing for the party. 13. [00:12:26] Speaker C: You can identify this as a scale, but you don't know anything. It's obviously a dragon scale, but you don't know what it's from who? It's from silver. [00:12:39] Speaker H: That looks like a dragon scale. [00:12:42] Speaker I: A dragon scale. [00:12:44] Speaker H: A dragon scale, yes. [00:12:45] Speaker C: As the silence echo that echoes around the cave. [00:12:49] Speaker D: A dragon scale. [00:12:50] Speaker E: Dragon scale. [00:12:51] Speaker I: Oh, a dragon snail. [00:12:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:53] Speaker F: Are we talking about snails? [00:12:55] Speaker H: Well, we should probably pick that up. [00:12:59] Speaker I: Yeah. All right. [00:13:01] Speaker H: It's gold. [00:13:02] Speaker B: I think it's a gold dragon. [00:13:05] Speaker I: Would you be all right? [00:13:06] Speaker H: No. [00:13:07] Speaker D: If. [00:13:10] Speaker I: We were to craft some sort of, like, necklace or something, or put it on your crown as a symbol that you have conquered the dragons, taken a piece of a dragon and putting it on yourself. [00:13:22] Speaker H: Yeah, but I mean, this good dragon, right? [00:13:25] Speaker C: Great. [00:13:25] Speaker D: Gold. [00:13:26] Speaker C: Good. I don't know. [00:13:26] Speaker H: I roll very good. As long as it's not white. [00:13:30] Speaker E: Am I hearing all of this? [00:13:31] Speaker C: I mean, it's a cave, so everything echoes. Everyone can hear this. [00:13:37] Speaker E: I have that dahaklore. Could I roll that and see? Is he a gold dragon? [00:13:42] Speaker C: You would have to look at it. [00:13:44] Speaker I: Brianna. We found a. I don't know if it's as good as the kind you'd make, but there's a skimmitar over here. [00:13:51] Speaker H: Yeah. [00:13:51] Speaker E: Skimmy question. Who can see the scale? Just like, are you holding it up or are you, like. [00:13:56] Speaker I: It's in my hand at the moment. [00:13:59] Speaker E: Okay. Because Jasper will. [00:14:03] Speaker I: He's not letting Jasper get well. [00:14:06] Speaker E: What he's going to try to do is land on your wrist and puff out his chest and be like, I will trade you my little golden tooth for whatever you have in your hand there. [00:14:14] Speaker H: Maybe don't give the ancient worm piece to a bird. [00:14:19] Speaker B: I don't. [00:14:21] Speaker C: He just wants to trade. [00:14:22] Speaker I: Nope. Thank you kindly. Here's the skinatar Rhianna. You got use for this? I don't know, but it looks good. [00:14:35] Speaker F: I will certainly look at it. [00:14:36] Speaker E: Thank you, Jasper. He's going to keep coming back for a little bit. [00:14:41] Speaker C: All right. So while you guys discuss that, Temid, you approach. [00:14:46] Speaker E: Yeah, letting Twintelon try and work with some of the other spiders, and tucking her own stuff back in her bag and yelling at Jasper to get away from silver. [00:14:55] Speaker D: So Temada, he just kind of strolls up to her and he says, if you have a moment, I'd like to talk to you about something interesting I found out in town. How long does poison last in a person's body before it could take them down? Is there a latent period? [00:15:13] Speaker E: It would depend on the poison. I mean, some will sit latent for weeks, days, hours. Others will act instantly, much as you saw happen to poor pondwatcher and myself earlier. But it really depends. [00:15:28] Speaker D: Unfortunately, it looks like that's what killed Alec. I guess my immediate thought was that the wargs were what took him down. But maybe it's not the case. Maybe they softened him up and the poison from something else hurt him, but I don't know. [00:15:44] Speaker E: Yes, I'm sure there was plenty of it around the citadel. That doesn't seem out of the purview of the hell knights at all. I don't think it was the works, though I do remember we were trying to see what was wrong with him. I was exhausted, though, so I wasn't of much help then. I apologize. [00:15:56] Speaker D: No, same with me. Yeah. I don't know. I just wanted to make sure that we did everything we could if I want to make sure. This is my first time watching over people, making sure everyone's all right, and kind of feel like I let him down. We were going to make a connection. I know he was going to have a drink with me. And, of course, I make a connection with everyone I drink with. [00:16:19] Speaker E: Is it wrong to compare you to a bartender? [00:16:22] Speaker D: No, I think that's a compliment, but no. [00:16:25] Speaker E: Obviously, without the body, too, it's much harder to. [00:16:28] Speaker D: Right? Yeah. [00:16:30] Speaker E: It could have been something he'd been carrying around since that morning, even. [00:16:34] Speaker D: Okay, so before we even met him, it's possible that he could have contracted something, and then the wargs took him out? [00:16:39] Speaker E: In theory, yes. [00:16:40] Speaker C: Okay. [00:16:41] Speaker E: Anything else I can do for you? [00:16:42] Speaker D: No, that was it. You seemed to answer my questions. Thank you. [00:16:46] Speaker E: Of course. [00:16:48] Speaker D: Would you like a beer? [00:16:49] Speaker E: Why not? [00:16:49] Speaker D: It's been another long, tough day, right? [00:16:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:52] Speaker C: All right, so you all finish your activities and you all meet up back in the center of the room. [00:16:58] Speaker H: Can I do another survival check looking for footy steps? [00:17:01] Speaker C: Yes, you may. [00:17:02] Speaker D: I'd like to do that, too. [00:17:04] Speaker C: Okay. [00:17:05] Speaker H: 22, 20. [00:17:11] Speaker C: You see footprints headed in both directions. [00:17:15] Speaker H: They went both ways. [00:17:16] Speaker D: So the tracks that we see, they're heading in both directions, or do they look like they're coming from one place going to the other? [00:17:24] Speaker C: So with a 23, the footprints that are going to the eastern tunnel look humanoid. And then there's also footprints to the east that are three toed but the same size as a human would find. [00:17:39] Speaker D: Do these three toes look familiar? This three toed footprints? [00:17:42] Speaker C: No different position from the one that we've seen. [00:17:44] Speaker D: Okay. [00:17:45] Speaker C: And then the ones to the northeast look more cloven. Everything has three toes, by the way, in this book. Three cloven. [00:17:54] Speaker D: Especially three toed Joe. [00:17:55] Speaker C: Yeah, three toed. Cloven. [00:17:58] Speaker H: My backup character, three toad joe, isn't Cloven. [00:18:01] Speaker B: Hooves by definition, two. [00:18:05] Speaker C: Okay, so maybe cloven isn't the right. It looks like a hoof with three toes coming off of it. I don't know what you would call that. [00:18:11] Speaker E: So, like, kind of like a semicircular shape with, like, three toes at the top? Yes, kind of almost like a paw print. [00:18:18] Speaker D: No, like a tiara with three gems on top. [00:18:21] Speaker C: It looks like a circle. [00:18:23] Speaker D: Wow. [00:18:23] Speaker C: With three. [00:18:24] Speaker B: Mr's got to go with what he knows. [00:18:26] Speaker E: Three toes, like a bird. [00:18:28] Speaker C: Yes, but nothing behind a reality tv. All right. But they're very short, stubby toes. [00:18:33] Speaker H: There's tiara feet here. [00:18:34] Speaker C: Be careful. [00:18:36] Speaker E: One little one and three little claw marks, sounds like. [00:18:39] Speaker H: Okay, let's decide where to go. This has taken a very long time. [00:18:42] Speaker B: Well, what are we looking for down here? We don't know. [00:18:44] Speaker D: Right. Can we take 10 minutes to see if anybody needs healing or anything? Does anybody need healing? [00:18:50] Speaker F: Maybe a little bit wouldn't hurt. But perhaps it could be saved until something bigger happened. [00:18:58] Speaker H: The less time we're underground, the better. Really hate. [00:19:01] Speaker D: Let's head out, then. It's your choice. [00:19:03] Speaker F: You were going to say funeral, weren't you? [00:19:06] Speaker D: Anwar was going to say funeral. Temid wouldn't say that. [00:19:09] Speaker B: I would vote east, if that's where the humanoid footprints go. [00:19:13] Speaker H: I agree. [00:19:14] Speaker C: All right, so the tunnel looks like it's 5ft wide, so I need a marching order. [00:19:19] Speaker H: I go first. [00:19:20] Speaker F: You want to go behind me since. [00:19:22] Speaker H: No, I want to go first. [00:19:23] Speaker F: You have reached, though. [00:19:24] Speaker H: I don't care. [00:19:25] Speaker F: Okay, I'll be behind. [00:19:26] Speaker H: So Pond Watcher is actually starting to freak out a little bit. He doesn't like being in a cave, okay, it's, like, not his thing, and it's bothering him, so he wants to. [00:19:34] Speaker C: Just get out of here as fast. [00:19:36] Speaker E: Adventure in the great white songwriter. [00:19:38] Speaker C: Who's behind Brienna? [00:19:40] Speaker B: I'll be behind Brianna. [00:19:41] Speaker C: All right. And then behind Tamid. [00:19:43] Speaker D: It will be next. [00:19:44] Speaker C: And then Surreya. And then silver. [00:19:46] Speaker E: Sure. [00:19:47] Speaker D: When something comes up from behind, a silver could be the frontline fighter. [00:19:50] Speaker I: Yeah, he'll stand toe to toe with the best of them. All right, 80 year old man for. [00:19:57] Speaker D: A good 6 seconds. [00:19:58] Speaker F: Wait, did he just gain five years? [00:20:00] Speaker I: No, he's 75. [00:20:02] Speaker D: But he's 75 80. Whatever the story needs. [00:20:04] Speaker B: At the 75 going on a thousand. [00:20:07] Speaker C: You all kind of clamber through the sticky webbing and you enter a room. [00:20:12] Speaker D: Very small room. [00:20:13] Speaker C: Very small room. The gloom and tunnels snaking away from each end of this open cavern make it seem like merely a corridor. [00:20:20] Speaker H: Yeah, because Pond Rogers in the front, he's going to switch to his wharf. Lail. [00:20:25] Speaker C: All right, so as you enter this room, it's very gloomy. It's just as dark as the rest of the cave. And you see tunnels snaking away from this area in every direction. Thick sheets of spider webbing hang from the northeastern wall of this room. [00:20:42] Speaker H: I think there may be spiders in this cave. [00:20:46] Speaker D: Very perceptive of you. [00:20:47] Speaker I: Can we set these spider webs on fire? [00:20:50] Speaker D: That's exactly what I was thinking. [00:20:52] Speaker C: All right, so hang on. Before you guys do everything, I need everyone's perception score plus 696-69-6688. [00:21:05] Speaker D: All right, so the sixes had to be different. [00:21:08] Speaker B: If it's initiative, it's different. [00:21:09] Speaker C: But if it's just perception, it's okay. And then the nines. And then eight. Cool. All right. Timid and Pond Watcher don't see anything. As you look, you notice that the sheets of the spider web actually kind of look more like a tent than just randomly positioned webbing. [00:21:30] Speaker D: Pond watcher, does that look like a tent to you? [00:21:32] Speaker H: Spider tent. Spider tent. Yeah, there's some spiders camping, right? [00:21:38] Speaker D: Maybe it's a boy scout troop of spiders. Maybe they're earning their badges. [00:21:45] Speaker F: What on earth? [00:21:46] Speaker I: They're going to have to have a badge. [00:21:48] Speaker D: I don't know. Whenever I get in your pond watcher, I have very dumb ideas. [00:21:52] Speaker H: You wouldn't be the first. Well, perhaps this is where Spider Woman lives. [00:21:59] Speaker B: Yeah, there is someone controlling them. If no one stops him, twin town's going to walk up to the tent. So we saw before that when the spiders moved, it seemed to attract the other spiders. [00:22:10] Speaker C: Right? [00:22:11] Speaker B: So, Twin Tower is going to, very gently first, going to see if he gets his hand stuck on the web. But if he doesn't, he's going to very gently, just kind of like, move the spider web sheets to see if it attracts any. [00:22:22] Speaker C: So as you go to push your hand against the spider webs. An ashen gray face of a woman kind of peeks out. Gross. And goes. Hello. [00:22:34] Speaker I: Oh, hi. [00:22:35] Speaker E: Hello. [00:22:36] Speaker D: Does she identify yourself? [00:22:38] Speaker B: Does she have, like, a woman body? [00:22:39] Speaker C: Yes. I'm going to show you a picture. And that we will post. [00:22:43] Speaker I: All right. [00:22:46] Speaker B: She has long hair. [00:22:48] Speaker C: Very long black hair. [00:22:51] Speaker D: Is that, like, stuff going between her hands? I didn't get a yes. [00:22:53] Speaker C: Sorry. That's her casting magic. She actually has her hands opened with nothing in them to show you she is unarmed. [00:23:03] Speaker D: She's pointing her weapons at us. [00:23:05] Speaker B: The universal gesture of I surrender. [00:23:07] Speaker C: Yes, the universal I surrender. Please don't hurt me. [00:23:09] Speaker D: But she can shoot things out of her hands. [00:23:11] Speaker C: Maybe. [00:23:11] Speaker B: We don't know. [00:23:12] Speaker D: We don't know that. But I'm going to die now. [00:23:14] Speaker I: I'm not one to judge. Two. One. Gods know, I shouldn't be in position to judge anything. But someone's a choice of living and habits. But it's a little strange, ma'am. To find you in a hut made of spider webs in a cavern that's some 200ft underground right now. [00:23:35] Speaker C: I was trapped here. The woman with the skeletons wouldn't let me leave. [00:23:41] Speaker B: Oh, we killed her. Well, actually, that's not true. We removed her from the cave. [00:23:47] Speaker C: Oh, lovely. I'm still stuck here as I can't get home. [00:23:53] Speaker F: Where exactly is home? [00:23:54] Speaker C: You see, I come from the moangi expanse. You and everybody else was. I guess hunting would be the proper term. Hunting? The cinder claws that came through a portal from our side of everything. And I was trying to learn more about them and stop them. As they've been causing some havoc over in the moihi expanse. But as soon as we came through, something happened and I've been stuck here. And I'm assuming they've been stuck here. They've been making a great amount of racket down below. [00:24:31] Speaker B: Can I make a sense? Motive is a perception now. [00:24:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:35] Speaker I: It's part of diplomacy. [00:24:36] Speaker D: Is it part of diplomacy? [00:24:37] Speaker I: Yes, I think it's a thing. Part of diplomacy. So, while they're doing that. I'll still talk to her. Where is this portal that you came from? [00:24:49] Speaker C: So it's actually directly below us. [00:24:52] Speaker I: Directly below us. [00:24:54] Speaker C: Correct. [00:24:54] Speaker I: Is a portal to the Mwangi expanse. [00:24:58] Speaker C: That's where I came through. And I'm assuming the synagogue's came through as well. [00:25:03] Speaker I: All right, well that makes things a map bit interesting. [00:25:09] Speaker H: What is your name? [00:25:11] Speaker C: My name is Renali. R-E-N-A-L-I-I didn't ask you to spell your. I'm just. Sean is spelling it for the, um. [00:25:23] Speaker D: I don't know, just reading through the perception. [00:25:26] Speaker B: It's definitely perception. [00:25:27] Speaker I: Yeah, it says not diplomacy. [00:25:29] Speaker D: Something about a situation is off to you. That's what it says. So I don't know, diplomacy doesn't have anything about trying to figure it out. [00:25:37] Speaker C: Perception, please. [00:25:40] Speaker F: 25. [00:25:40] Speaker D: Isn't that something you're supposed to do? [00:25:42] Speaker C: Yeah, it should be doing that. Yeah. [00:25:43] Speaker D: So mine is a perception. [00:25:45] Speaker C: That's temid, this is twin Talon. Brianna, what's your bonus? Six, twin Talon, eight. Okay. And temid. Nine. Okay. Temid, you have an uneasy feeling. Brianna and twin Talon. You think without a shadow of doubt she's telling that 100% truth. [00:26:06] Speaker B: Okay, so if he thinks that he's going to sheath his weapons so she doesn't feel like I'm going to stab her. [00:26:11] Speaker D: Okay, timid will hold on to his. So she basically just said that she was hunting the cinder claws. [00:26:17] Speaker C: Correct. [00:26:18] Speaker B: Because they were causing problems wherever she was. [00:26:20] Speaker C: Yes. [00:26:21] Speaker D: And how were the cinder claws causing problems? [00:26:25] Speaker C: They're a cult of dragon worshippers who worship the dragon God of destruction. They've been wreaking havoc and trying to destroy different areas of the Moihi expanse where myself and my family live. [00:26:40] Speaker D: And you have always hunted them or did you just recently start hunting them? [00:26:45] Speaker C: Most of my people stay in their own area, away from creatures like that. But since they've started encroaching, myself and a few others have started to fight them actively. [00:26:55] Speaker D: Temit kind of wants to let everyone else know that he doesn't buy her story without letting her know. But I don't know how to do that. Deception. Sure. [00:27:03] Speaker F: Against our perception, I guess. [00:27:05] Speaker B: I think it's actually a feat to do it. [00:27:08] Speaker E: I mean, my thought was offer her water and not ale. That's a pretty good. I don't trust you from timid. [00:27:16] Speaker B: Honestly, we should have figured this out ahead of time. [00:27:18] Speaker D: Yeah, no, that's really good. And we can use it next time. I don't know if it would work. [00:27:22] Speaker C: Here. [00:27:23] Speaker H: Why do you sleep in a spider web? [00:27:27] Speaker D: That's a great question. [00:27:29] Speaker C: The way you see me right now is not my true form. [00:27:34] Speaker H: Are you a spider? [00:27:36] Speaker C: Yeah, kind of. [00:27:37] Speaker I: Can I speak aclo to her? [00:27:39] Speaker C: She gives you a weird look. Okay, I and my people know that anything that looks arachnid like generally puts most people on edge. So we've learned how to shift into this type of shape. [00:27:54] Speaker D: Show us your true form, then. [00:27:55] Speaker C: That's a very rude request. [00:27:57] Speaker B: Yeah, tell me. Take off your clothes. [00:27:59] Speaker D: I mean, if you want. It's not the first time. [00:28:02] Speaker C: I'm Andy. A-N-A-D-I. [00:28:07] Speaker B: Anadi. [00:28:08] Speaker C: Anadi. [00:28:10] Speaker I: Ooh. [00:28:10] Speaker F: At a game. That's a play on the Anansi. [00:28:13] Speaker I: Yeah. The spider. Can I do a recall knowledge on that? [00:28:21] Speaker C: Yes, that would be. Yes, it is a spartic lore. Yes. Flat DC. [00:28:27] Speaker I: Okay. 27. [00:28:29] Speaker C: Okay. You know that those are indeed an actual race. I'm going to show you the picture so you can take a look. They're normally from the moi expanse that all checks out. And they are spider like looking. [00:28:44] Speaker I: All right. I don't speak a naughty, but I'll look to her and say, where I come from or where I've been, it's always best to present your true self. And for none here is going to judge at you or anything. And we'd like to. I mean, look at it from our perspective. We find you hanging out in a hut made of web in a cave, claiming you came from a portal. I don't know if I can trust you as far as I can look you. [00:29:16] Speaker C: To be fair, though, in my culture, it is very rude for us to show our spider forms to strangers. And I've been trying to hide from the large group of cinder claws and the bargast in the next room. Bargast that I've been trying to stay away from. [00:29:32] Speaker H: So they're still here? [00:29:33] Speaker E: Call some kind of knowledge on that. [00:29:35] Speaker C: Yes. [00:29:36] Speaker I: You all want to help us take these thing out, then? [00:29:39] Speaker C: Hang on. Let me pull up the bar gas. [00:29:41] Speaker B: I know it's outsider. [00:29:43] Speaker D: Yeah, it's like that wolf kind of thing, right? [00:29:46] Speaker B: It's like a weird bat nose, I think. [00:29:49] Speaker C: Yeah, you nailed it. [00:29:51] Speaker B: Matt knows a lot. Twin talent may not know anything. [00:29:54] Speaker C: It's religion knowledge. Religion. [00:29:56] Speaker D: Oh, sweet. I got that. [00:29:57] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:29:59] Speaker C: Or lore. Religion. [00:30:01] Speaker D: Right. We're playing second edition, buddy. [00:30:03] Speaker C: Yeah. 16. [00:30:05] Speaker D: So I don't know anything. [00:30:06] Speaker B: No, I got a six. [00:30:08] Speaker D: No, actually, you know what? I've got three hero points because I feel like this is going to be the final boss. God fucking damn it. [00:30:15] Speaker I: 21. [00:30:16] Speaker C: 21. [00:30:16] Speaker E: Never mind. [00:30:17] Speaker C: What did you get Brianna? [00:30:18] Speaker F: 20. [00:30:18] Speaker C: All right, well, the two of you know that a bar guest is indeed a fiend. I will show you a picture. They have these weird clove like almost horse feet with claws at the front with a weird bat face. So a bat nose and bat ears and a tail. [00:30:34] Speaker D: There was one of these at the end of the book. One of rise of the rune lords, right? [00:30:37] Speaker C: I think so, yes. [00:30:39] Speaker D: Spoilers. [00:30:39] Speaker C: Spoiler alert. So yes. So I've been hiding from them as I am trying to figure a way home. But now that the skeleton woman is. [00:30:48] Speaker H: Gone, I have a question for you. [00:30:50] Speaker C: Yes, you with your flail. Could you not point that at me please? [00:30:53] Speaker H: Yeah, it's more of a swinging thing. Anyway, listen, so you say you're hiding a room away from all these bad things, but you could have gone in the big room with the spiders or you could have gone 6 miles down a tunnel before getting to vase. [00:31:08] Speaker C: She kept exploring, as she called it. Down this way, the spiders that she killed. I'm in a tentative truce with the spiders from the other room. So they told me if I stayed here, I would not be in their way or in their hunting grounds. [00:31:23] Speaker H: And if we successfully defeat the creatures here and open the way back to the Mwangi expanse, you'll go home? [00:31:31] Speaker C: Absolutely. [00:31:31] Speaker H: I believe. [00:31:32] Speaker C: Sounds. [00:31:34] Speaker D: Tell us more about this portal. Where is it? [00:31:37] Speaker C: It's down below us. [00:31:40] Speaker D: How do we get down there? [00:31:41] Speaker C: If you can get through the room with the bar gas, there's a tunnel off to the east with some glowing mushrooms. [00:31:49] Speaker D: Okay, and what's behind you? What's down that tunnel? Unless that's a dead end or something. [00:31:55] Speaker C: Are you talking about here? [00:31:56] Speaker B: Down where she was talking about? [00:31:57] Speaker C: Yeah, this is where the bar gas is. [00:31:59] Speaker D: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was in the other. When we go back to the big room and then come back out. [00:32:03] Speaker C: No, this is. [00:32:04] Speaker B: I mean we saw Bargas footprints going up that way, but. [00:32:07] Speaker C: Right. [00:32:08] Speaker B: I think she's telling us. Maybe either way will get us to him for her. [00:32:10] Speaker D: Oh, like. Okay, maybe they connect up top or something. [00:32:13] Speaker C: So the glowing mushrooms, there's a pit that the cinder claws can't get up. But meme, having some spider like qualities, was able to climb the wall up and get up to here. But if you go down that hole, down that pit, you will wind up near the ring of the portal that I came through. But it's been broken since. [00:32:33] Speaker D: What do you think? So Gm Sean? Do you think it's okay for tement to roll another perception to see if that hole might be a trap? [00:32:43] Speaker C: Sure. [00:32:43] Speaker D: She's trying to lead us into a trap. [00:32:45] Speaker C: What's your bonus? [00:32:46] Speaker D: Nine. [00:32:47] Speaker H: I would also same thing. [00:32:49] Speaker C: Six. You know she's telling the truth. Pond watcher. Okay. Tamit is still on edge with her. [00:32:56] Speaker D: Okay. [00:32:58] Speaker I: WHOOP you said some of your people decided to fight back against that. [00:33:03] Speaker C: Yes. [00:33:04] Speaker I: Is that making you popular back home? [00:33:07] Speaker C: There's not many people who live in the Mwangi expanse, but yes, any creatures that fight back against the cinder claws are looked on favorably. [00:33:16] Speaker F: Can we roll back and talk about Balka to see where she was from? Was she also from the Moangi expanse? [00:33:22] Speaker C: She was not. [00:33:24] Speaker F: Okay. I'm just trying to remember what we knew about her, if we knew she was there for a long time. Because she also had issues with the quote unquote spider lady. [00:33:32] Speaker B: Yeah, I think she was from another plane or something. [00:33:35] Speaker C: I thought. Yeah, she was an aberration, extra planar. [00:33:38] Speaker F: I don't know. Just trying to throw out. [00:33:40] Speaker B: It's a great idea. [00:33:41] Speaker D: Maybe then Brianna. I don't know if you think that she would ask about that or would she keep it to herself? [00:33:46] Speaker F: I don't know. What sorts of issues did you run into with the other creature that seemed to also favor spiders? [00:33:53] Speaker C: Oh, yes, the trixic tog. Trixic togs generally steal things from spiders and spider folk. So I believe she had stolen some egg sacks from the spiders down here and took them as her own. And me, being more cordial with the spiders down here, found that a great insult and tried to help them recover their ache sacks. [00:34:18] Speaker I: Now, hypothetically, if some group of adventurers came, killed all those spiders you're cordial with, you would be okay. How would you feel about that? [00:34:27] Speaker C: Saddened for their loss. [00:34:29] Speaker I: All right, well, let's ignore that fact for now. [00:34:36] Speaker H: Pond Watcher puts his hand over the spider bite in his neck, like casually. [00:34:40] Speaker C: I would be saddened for their loss, but not hold it against adventurers. Hence why I don't walk around looking like a spider. Because I know adventurers tend to jump to. Yeah, yeah. [00:34:52] Speaker H: I mean, we can't really argue with that. So I suggest we just go find this portal, kill everyone, and call it the day. [00:35:01] Speaker I: Yeah, that sounds. [00:35:02] Speaker C: If you can figure out a way to open it, I would happily go back to my family and my friends through the moi expanse. [00:35:11] Speaker B: So I don't know if I missed this, but you said you came through the portal? [00:35:14] Speaker C: Yes. [00:35:15] Speaker B: Was it just active when you came through? Did you do anything to open. [00:35:18] Speaker C: Somehow the cinder claws opened one side, and then after, as I was sneaking behind them, following a small group that went through the portal, it suddenly closed on one end, and this was the only option out. A large beam of energy came out of it, too, like a stargate. She looks at you. [00:35:38] Speaker B: Temma didn't say, well, lead us there. Well, I'm sure we can find our own way. There's one tunnel. Thank you for your time, I think. Does anyone else need anything from. [00:35:52] Speaker D: No, I'm all right. [00:35:53] Speaker B: Did we get her name? [00:35:55] Speaker C: Renulli Ranuli. R-E-N-A-L-I. Ranali. [00:36:00] Speaker H: All right, well, I'll see you later. [00:36:02] Speaker B: Thank you, Renali. And are there any more? So we did run into some spiders previous to meeting you, and I'm sure that we were just encroaching on their layer and their natural instinct was to defend it. But is there any assistance you can give us in just bypassing the spiders? I don't think we have any beef with them, specifically. If we can just get by them. Unless they're all dead. [00:36:22] Speaker C: She puts her hand on the webs and you see her kind of close her eyes for a minute. I don't believe they'll bother you anymore. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:36:30] Speaker D: And about the cinder claws, since you've been fighting them for so long, apparently, do you have any information that might help us fight them? [00:36:38] Speaker C: They're your standard boggards and chirikas. [00:36:40] Speaker D: Would they employ any other creatures that we may have to deal with? [00:36:44] Speaker C: Maybe. [00:36:44] Speaker D: Helpful. Very helpful. [00:36:46] Speaker C: When they came through, they did not have anything else. There was a couple gravidons that came. [00:36:51] Speaker D: Through, but I believe we've met those already. [00:36:53] Speaker C: Oh, okay. Well, then, no. [00:36:55] Speaker H: So you're trying to defend your home from these people and you saw them go through a magical tunnel and your first thought was you should also go through the magical tunnel instead of just, I don't know, closing it? [00:37:10] Speaker C: Well, I was trying to ambush. [00:37:13] Speaker B: We call that ambushing. [00:37:14] Speaker C: I'm sorry. I was trying to aim. Bush, the leader of the group that came, went through to explore and if I was able to ambush them, but. [00:37:26] Speaker H: If you just close the door, they're never going to come back to your home. [00:37:29] Speaker C: But I didn't know how they opened it, so I didn't know how to close it. [00:37:34] Speaker F: And one last time, what sort of issues had they been causing back home for you? [00:37:38] Speaker C: They've been destroying large areas and starting to build things. [00:37:45] Speaker D: What were they building? [00:37:47] Speaker C: I don't know, but they've been chopping down trees and starting to shape them. [00:37:52] Speaker D: Can you give us any description about what they were shaping them into? [00:37:55] Speaker C: She kind of describes what sounds like the beginning of a totem pole, but before any faces or anything are actually carved into those totem poles. Yes. [00:38:03] Speaker B: So they were clear cutting the forest. And that seems bad enough on its own. I don't know. That we need to bother this woman anymore, unless you guys have something else to ask her. But I think if we want to get out of here as soon as possible, we'll kind of look at a pond watcher. I think we should probably head down this hallway and take care whatever's down there. [00:38:20] Speaker H: I agree. Let's go. [00:38:23] Speaker D: All right, we need to be careful because we don't know what's ahead of us. Mala, tunnel. He doesn't want to say that. She thinks that she may be setting up an ambush for us. [00:38:32] Speaker H: A what? [00:38:32] Speaker D: I'm sorry, an ambush? [00:38:34] Speaker C: No, ambush, ambush or whatever. [00:38:37] Speaker D: I refuse to partake in that. But he doesn't want to stay in front of her. But he doesn't feel like he can trust her or we can trust her. [00:38:45] Speaker C: All right, so who's same marching order as you head down the tunnel. [00:38:49] Speaker E: You think? So, do you verbalize that at all. [00:38:51] Speaker D: That you feel like? Once? I feel like we're far enough away to where she's not. [00:38:55] Speaker C: So as soon as you get, like, 10ft away from her, you see a slight, like a five foot inclined hill that you could walk down, but she's still very much there. And she moves back into her tent. [00:39:05] Speaker F: Okay. [00:39:06] Speaker D: Do I get the feeling she can hear me still? [00:39:08] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:39:09] Speaker D: And I'm not going to say anything right now. All right, so we're at an opening, and we're going into a larger area. [00:39:16] Speaker C: That's what you think. [00:39:17] Speaker B: Is that a cliff or what? I know it's just a walk down. [00:39:20] Speaker C: It's a walk down. [00:39:22] Speaker B: Okay. [00:39:22] Speaker H: Palm watcher walks down. [00:39:23] Speaker D: Can we be keeping an eye out perception or something while we're doing it? Just make sure. No. Sure. [00:39:29] Speaker B: Hey, it's a bat face demon guy. [00:39:32] Speaker E: Hey. [00:39:33] Speaker C: All right. [00:39:34] Speaker E: How could we not expect to run into that? [00:39:36] Speaker C: So, as you like, we were told, kind of slide down this hill. A massive throne constructed of old bones and broken furniture, tied together with ropes and chains and draped with moth eaten velvet, is the overwhelming centerpiece of this wide open cavern. Arrayed in concentric circles around the throne are the skeletal corpses of small, oblong shaped humanoids, each posed with their head inclined revelantly towards the throne's seat. In that seat, you see a slightly larger than average goblin. [00:40:12] Speaker B: So it's not what's on the. [00:40:13] Speaker C: No. Okay. No. And you hear the goblin say in a very deep and booming voice, now. [00:40:20] Speaker H: My subjects praise me. [00:40:23] Speaker C: And he looks around and he goes. [00:40:25] Speaker H: No, not like that. [00:40:26] Speaker C: And you see him jump down from the throne and take the head off of the nearest skeleton. And then runs around the room throwing and ripping them apart. And then he hops up on the throne and he looks at you and he goes, good new worshippers. Now praise me. [00:40:46] Speaker D: Who are you? [00:40:48] Speaker B: I think he wants us to praise him like we should. [00:40:51] Speaker E: Well, found the episode title. [00:40:59] Speaker F: That's a great question, tama. Before we do any actual praising, sir. [00:41:05] Speaker E: Who may we be praising exactly? [00:41:08] Speaker C: I am Raldar, goblin God. [00:41:13] Speaker B: Oh, interesting. [00:41:15] Speaker D: Temid kind of thinks back to the goblins that they've encountered to this point. [00:41:20] Speaker E: Recall knowledge, religion, actually, a thing. [00:41:23] Speaker C: Go ahead. [00:41:24] Speaker E: I'm assuming it's not actually. [00:41:26] Speaker C: What's your recall knowledge skill? [00:41:27] Speaker E: It's six. [00:41:28] Speaker C: Yep. This is a goblin lesser deity. [00:41:32] Speaker D: So Temid thinks back to the goblins that they've met to this point, and he's like, would you like a drink and celebrate with us, o deific one. [00:41:41] Speaker C: You must bestow upon your God a proper tribute. [00:41:46] Speaker D: This is some pretty good be consumed. [00:41:49] Speaker C: By misery and death. [00:41:53] Speaker D: My bottle here kind of keeps me from being miserable. [00:41:56] Speaker E: Would that recall knowledge have told me what a proper tribute would be? [00:42:00] Speaker C: He looks at all of you. Is that gold scale visible or tucked away? No way. He looks around, points to Jasper. I want that gold necklace. [00:42:13] Speaker B: I don't think he's going to give it to you. [00:42:15] Speaker C: Then he will die. [00:42:18] Speaker D: No, he won't. [00:42:19] Speaker B: Okay, first of all, he's not alive. [00:42:22] Speaker F: That's besides the point. [00:42:24] Speaker C: I demand the most expensive thing you have, and that is obviously the gold tooth, and I demand to be praised. [00:42:31] Speaker D: The most expensive thing we have is our friendship, and you're welcome to have it. [00:42:36] Speaker B: You wouldn't believe what he charges for friendship back in the city. [00:42:39] Speaker D: It's pretty damn expensive. [00:42:40] Speaker C: It is. [00:42:41] Speaker E: Those church ties. [00:42:42] Speaker F: Can I make a perception on the skeletons that he's been? [00:42:47] Speaker C: Yes, you may actually roll a medicine check. [00:42:50] Speaker F: Medicine check? [00:42:50] Speaker C: Yes, please. [00:42:51] Speaker B: I have a question about them too. Once she. [00:42:53] Speaker F: Yeah, eleven. [00:42:55] Speaker C: Unfortunately, you are not sure what these are. [00:43:00] Speaker B: Sorry? The skulls of the dead creatures. [00:43:03] Speaker C: Yes. [00:43:04] Speaker B: They look like giant lemon heads. [00:43:06] Speaker C: No, they look like goblin heads. [00:43:08] Speaker B: That's what goblins look. [00:43:09] Speaker C: Yeah, they look like lemon heads. Yes. [00:43:13] Speaker D: Temid wants to roll religion to it to see if he knows anything about this. [00:43:17] Speaker C: Sure, make the roll. [00:43:18] Speaker D: Oh, actually, what is your bonus plus nine? [00:43:20] Speaker C: It's cracked podcast. You know that this creature is delusional and not a deity at all. [00:43:29] Speaker E: Yeah, Sareia figured that out when he demanded the fool's gold tooth as the most expensive thing they clearly have. [00:43:37] Speaker D: Okay. [00:43:42] Speaker C: You are not praising. I will give you till the count of ten, please. To praise me. [00:43:48] Speaker H: Hey. Yes. Nice chair. [00:43:51] Speaker C: Yes, it is my throne. [00:43:53] Speaker H: Yeah, no, I'm saying good chair. I'm praising your chair. [00:43:55] Speaker C: Good job. Thank you. [00:43:58] Speaker H: It's very regal. [00:43:59] Speaker D: You're very tall for a goblin. [00:44:01] Speaker H: I know, that's why I'm a God. [00:44:05] Speaker D: Isn't this praise? [00:44:06] Speaker C: Like this, I can reach the second shelf at most grocery stores. That's what you say about me. [00:44:13] Speaker D: Did you just call your wife a goblin? [00:44:16] Speaker B: So while this is happening, twin Talon is going to try to use deception to start circling around the room, okay. To try to get behind him without him figuring out what he's doing. It's not that he's hidden, it's just that he's doing it in such a way as to not be. [00:44:28] Speaker C: What's your bonus? [00:44:29] Speaker B: Obvious. Twelve. [00:44:31] Speaker C: All right. You start to move around in a circle and he looks at you and goes, well, are you going? [00:44:36] Speaker E: Jasper flaps in his face. [00:44:39] Speaker D: Is it possible for temit to help out with this? In that can I try to distract him and talk to him with deception? [00:44:47] Speaker E: That's what Jasper was just trying to do. [00:44:51] Speaker B: It was nine, not twelve. [00:44:52] Speaker C: Okay, give me a deception role. [00:44:54] Speaker I: I'm going to say something going on because silver hates nice gods and 27 people who pretend to be them. So he'll turn to. He'll look at the goblin in the eye and say, I don't know if you're a demigod or not, but I don't truck much with things that tell others how to live their life or pretend to own them and lord over them. Now, we had no problem with you. We have to go take care of some sort of bat faced thingy down there, and we'd happy to go take care of that. But if you bother us and continue to be such a pain in the ass and demanding things from us, I can guarantee it's not going to go too well for you. [00:45:42] Speaker C: All right, roll. Intimidation. [00:45:46] Speaker I: Intimidation. [00:45:47] Speaker C: And what did you roll? [00:45:48] Speaker D: Timid 27. [00:45:51] Speaker C: What are you trying to do? [00:45:53] Speaker D: So he kind of walks up to this guy, mug in hand, says, hey there, listen, I think we got off to the wrong foot. Why don't you come over here and look me in the eye and let's have a chat, have a beer. And then it's the finest beer from cadence keg. I'm giving you something I treasure deeply. And listen, I'm just trying to be friends with you because we worship people who are such powerful beings and we're so grateful, actually, that we got the chance to meet you. So just keep your eyes on me and watch as I kind of. [00:46:34] Speaker C: So you see him like hop down from his throne and walk over. [00:46:38] Speaker E: He's still all 23ft tall. [00:46:40] Speaker C: Yeah, 28. [00:46:41] Speaker D: So this is taking a minute, right? Because I'm trying to like. [00:46:44] Speaker C: And he's walking over, he looks at the mug and he seems to grow a little bit taller and takes the mug out of your hand. And you see him down the alcohol quickly. [00:46:56] Speaker D: So it's the Everclear, by the way. [00:46:57] Speaker C: Okay. And. [00:47:03] Speaker D: It'S some good ill, isn't it? It's not quite that strong. [00:47:06] Speaker C: This is amazing. You are the best worshiper I have. Look at this one. And he points to one of the skeletons. That's like in a praising pose. This one is so quiet all the time. He never says anything, never gives me anything. [00:47:19] Speaker D: Well, he's trying his best. But here, have another cup because I think this stuff isn't quite strong enough for you. You look very, very powerful. [00:47:29] Speaker C: You're right. And as you continue to drink, as he continues to drink, you see the goblin shape start to melt off of him. [00:47:40] Speaker D: He's weak to alcohol, guys. [00:47:42] Speaker C: And you see melting start to grow taller. And then you see the bear gas in front of you drinking. [00:47:52] Speaker I: Okay. [00:47:55] Speaker D: I don't know what to do now. [00:47:56] Speaker C: Yeah, he's laughing at you. [00:47:57] Speaker F: Keep drinking. [00:48:03] Speaker H: You're the best worshiper I've ever had. [00:48:07] Speaker D: You broke his concentration. In the meantime, twin Talon is kind of moving around, right? [00:48:13] Speaker B: Like circle around behind him. [00:48:15] Speaker D: So actually, I'd kind of like to be more to the southwest of where he is. Like directly in front of him. So that Tim, twin Talon can kind of be. [00:48:23] Speaker C: Right. [00:48:23] Speaker D: You were trying to get to the north. [00:48:25] Speaker B: I'm just trying to get to an opposite side of him. So it doesn't matter. [00:48:27] Speaker C: Right? [00:48:28] Speaker D: Yeah. So I think that this would be. Yeah, that's what I'm hoping we can get to if everyone's good with that. [00:48:33] Speaker C: All right, does anyone else want to reposition? As he's engaged in a lovely conversation with his newest worshipper, can I ask. [00:48:40] Speaker D: If he gets any kind of negative bonus? Because this is going on like, he's kind of like a little tipsy, maybe? [00:48:46] Speaker C: We'll have to find out. [00:48:48] Speaker D: We'll have to find out. [00:48:49] Speaker C: If you guys decide to attack them, then we'll find out. [00:48:52] Speaker H: I just want to glance down the path. I'm like right next to an opening. [00:48:56] Speaker C: So as you look down this room, you see that this is a very narrow hallway. Like, you would have to squeeze through there. Using acrobatics, you can kind of see that? This is more of a cellar than an actual cave. And lumpy mounds covered in oil cloth tarps still lend it to an unpleasant air. So you get the smell of old lamp oil covering something. [00:49:21] Speaker D: Okay. [00:49:22] Speaker H: I just want to make sure there's. [00:49:23] Speaker C: Not, like, a monster in there. No, you see a bush of growing grossness. Neat. [00:49:31] Speaker H: Well, everyone who lives in this cave is so fucking crazy. And I think it's because they live in a cave. [00:49:37] Speaker F: You are not wrong. [00:49:38] Speaker H: And I really want to get out of this stupid cave. [00:49:40] Speaker B: I was like, I look at Soraya, see how she reacts to that. [00:49:44] Speaker E: She's upset by the accusation that everyone lives in caves is crazy. [00:49:47] Speaker H: This cave is, like, really deep. We walk 6 miles. I hate this place. [00:49:53] Speaker F: See, I was only agreeing for the fact that it seems that, yes, everybody in this cave seems to be after rocker. So this could simply be a crazy cave. [00:50:03] Speaker C: So then I just took this one skeleton, this one goblin, who wasn't worshipping me, right. And threw him through my throne. And I had to refix it. [00:50:12] Speaker D: Oh, my goodness. How long did it take to repair that? That's hilarious. [00:50:15] Speaker I: To do something. [00:50:16] Speaker C: Okay. [00:50:18] Speaker I: Silver hates things. That false gods is something he absolutely hates. Okay, so kicking things into overgear here. [00:50:29] Speaker H: Oh, no. [00:50:34] Speaker I: I have a tiny little short bow that I've never used. Okay, I'm going to try to shoot the thing. [00:50:41] Speaker C: All right. [00:50:42] Speaker D: Does anybody see him try to do that? [00:50:44] Speaker B: He's in the middle of the room. [00:50:45] Speaker I: I'm not hiding it. [00:50:46] Speaker H: Yeah, it's like the old man. [00:50:49] Speaker I: Like old man just raising up a short. [00:50:52] Speaker H: The old man from helms deep will. [00:50:55] Speaker F: Gently put her hands. [00:50:57] Speaker C: Brianna lowers the bow a little bit. [00:51:00] Speaker F: Just keep on your guard. Just one moment. Your worshipfulness, a moment of your time. If you are so high and mighty, what brings you down here to be worshipped by skeletons? Why not go to the light? [00:51:20] Speaker B: Go to the light. [00:51:22] Speaker H: The light is. [00:51:24] Speaker C: I have a good thing down here, you know. I have my worshippers. And then anyone who stumbles in worships me. [00:51:34] Speaker H: You. [00:51:34] Speaker C: And he drunkenly points his finger, like next to you. [00:51:38] Speaker H: You. [00:51:40] Speaker C: I demand tithing. That's the word. Tithing. [00:51:43] Speaker D: Here, I've got some more tithing. [00:51:45] Speaker C: He takes another drink. I want the skull of a spider mounted on the body of a man. [00:51:58] Speaker H: That will look amazing over the throne. [00:52:00] Speaker F: I'm sure it will. But I do not take or give tithings to anybody but serenday. Now you have a choice to either vacate this area. [00:52:09] Speaker C: No, not gonna happen. [00:52:12] Speaker H: You don't give a God orders or what's my other option. [00:52:17] Speaker B: I'm going behind twin Talon. So he's behind it. He's like looking at Brienna for a signal. He's like pointing to himself and making the thumb across his throat thing and shrugging his shoulders. [00:52:28] Speaker H: Silver, he was going to do something. [00:52:29] Speaker I: No, it's fine. Yeah. Is twin Talon going to attack him or. [00:52:36] Speaker B: I'm seeing what's happening. I'm not going to start a combat. [00:52:39] Speaker I: I'm going to go and sit in his throne and I'm going to say, I'm more of a God than you are, you jackass. [00:52:47] Speaker D: Silver, how about you just sing us a song? Lighten up the mood a little bit. Come on. [00:52:52] Speaker H: No, Silver really hates this kind of stuff, man, I'm telling you. [00:52:55] Speaker D: Yeah, but I seem to think that we're more competent whenever he sings a. [00:53:00] Speaker I: Song I don't have. Inspire confidence. [00:53:03] Speaker D: Well, courage. We're more courageous when he inspires us with his music. [00:53:08] Speaker C: Young man. Get out of my chair. [00:53:11] Speaker E: Young man. Hooker. [00:53:12] Speaker C: Young man. Wait. [00:53:14] Speaker D: You must be really far gone to call him young man. [00:53:18] Speaker I: I mean, if you're a God, you can make me come out of this. [00:53:22] Speaker C: Chair and he starts to lumber towards you. I need everyone to give me an initiative. [00:53:30] Speaker D: I was going to say like, he's not going to let him kill. [00:53:33] Speaker H: Diplomacy, initiative. [00:53:35] Speaker C: Or else. Yes, if you would like. No. [00:53:37] Speaker D: Can I do use medicine? No. So am I going to use my. [00:53:42] Speaker C: Actually, you would be using your deception. Deception. Use your deception as. [00:53:47] Speaker D: Is that a thing? To use that as your initiative? I thought it was only either perception or like stealth. [00:53:53] Speaker B: It specifically says if you're using a feat or using a specific action, like avoid notice gives you stealth. Or you might be able to use diplomacy or a social skill if you're. [00:54:05] Speaker A: In a social combat. [00:54:07] Speaker D: Got it. [00:54:07] Speaker C: So you were in a socialish combat to start. It's not my best one, but temit, what is your. [00:54:14] Speaker D: Makes sense. 27. [00:54:17] Speaker C: Silver. 26, twin. [00:54:21] Speaker B: I'm going to go with my deception since that's what I was doing. That's 19. [00:54:26] Speaker C: Brianna. [00:54:27] Speaker F: 24. [00:54:29] Speaker C: Seraya. [00:54:30] Speaker E: 14. [00:54:31] Speaker C: Pond watcher. [00:54:33] Speaker H: 18. [00:54:34] Speaker C: All right, Temid, you get to go first next week. [00:54:41] Speaker D: That gives me a whole week to think about my first move, which is. [00:54:44] Speaker B: Good, but it's cast shield. [00:54:49] Speaker G: Will our heroes be able to deal with the greater bargast? Is Renali telling the truth? How deep does this tunnel go? Find out the answers to these questions and more on the next episode of the Cracked Die podcast. [00:55:07] Speaker A: Thank you for listening to the Crackdye podcast. Background sounds provided by sirenscape. You can find [email protected]. Pathfinder, second edition and the Age of Ash's adventure path are both property of pizza Publishing. Check them [email protected].