[00:00:39] Speaker A: Welcome to the 208th episode of the Crack to Die podcast.
[00:00:46] Speaker B: Hooray.
[00:00:47] Speaker C: Oh, really?
[00:00:47] Speaker D: Yay, 208.
[00:00:50] Speaker C: We're still alive.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: Iron golems have bad breath.
[00:00:54] Speaker C: Yes, I guess it's me when I.
[00:00:56] Speaker D: Wake up in the morning. Cause my breath strikes.
[00:00:59] Speaker C: I mean, whose doesn't exactly.
[00:01:01] Speaker E: Morning breath is so named for a reason.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: It's not called lovely breath.
[00:01:07] Speaker C: Oh, boy.
I'm dying. Don't die. Don't die.
[00:01:15] Speaker A: I'm dying.
[00:01:16] Speaker C: No, stop it.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: Sorry. I'm good. I'm back.
[00:01:20] Speaker E: Jesus.
[00:01:21] Speaker C: Welcome back.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: I'm gonna make it to episode 209.
[00:01:24] Speaker C: Inshallah. Jesus.
[00:01:25] Speaker B: Who will gm?
[00:01:26] Speaker A: Yeah, right.
[00:01:27] Speaker C: I'll do it. No, I'm kidding.
[00:01:29] Speaker A: If you think I can't gm from beyond the grave, well, then we're gonna find out if I can.
[00:01:34] Speaker E: We have enough Ouija board things in our house.
[00:01:38] Speaker A: I open the door. Why o you space?
[00:01:45] Speaker B: Oh, God, this is worth a dial up.
[00:01:48] Speaker A: It would also be me trying to spell things out to you guys in the app.
[00:01:54] Speaker E: I would be the g by proxy. Cause I'm the only one that knows what the fuck he's trying to say.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: Sir pants.
[00:02:00] Speaker C: What?
[00:02:01] Speaker A: Is that a person? Is that an animal?
[00:02:03] Speaker E: No, serpent. He's trying to say serpent.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: So I'll give you all a quick antidote.
[00:02:09] Speaker C: Anecdote.
[00:02:10] Speaker A: Anecdote. That's the word I was looking for. So in my younger and more impressive years, I was jamming a the masquerade third edition game, and I was writing my notes, and I don't know how many people know this or care, really, but the anti tree boo, which is the opposite of what is normal for that clan of vampires, for the setites, which were part of the camarilla, when they were part of the sabbat, they were called serpents of the light. However, in all of my notes, it was serpants and one of my friends.
[00:02:46] Speaker C: Who is my friend to this day.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: In fact, he was the best man at my wedding, got my notebook and looked at it and was like, sir pants.
Sir Pants. Are they a knight?
[00:02:58] Speaker C: Oh, my God, that is so good.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: And for the rest of my life, if I ever write the word serpent and they see it, it immediately becomes serpants.
[00:03:11] Speaker C: That is amazing.
[00:03:12] Speaker E: My favorite thing was I was shown this basically, like, a little Microsoft paint drawing of just like, snakes and, like, shorts, where each snake is like, through one pant leg.
[00:03:25] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
That is too funny.
[00:03:28] Speaker E: It was the best thing.
[00:03:30] Speaker C: Sir pants.
[00:03:31] Speaker E: Sir pants of the light. And I think there was, like, a sun near the corner because they were sir pants of the light.
[00:03:35] Speaker C: Of course, of the light.
[00:03:38] Speaker B: Clearly, I've never heard it pronounced anti tree boo.
[00:03:41] Speaker E: I've heard anti treboo.
[00:03:42] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I probably put the wrong fsas on the wrong syllable or something like that.
[00:03:48] Speaker E: Okay, well, having met Mark Reinhagen and had him specifically say, oh, yeah, we did, tszemitzi, just to see what the fuck people would say, there's no way to pronounce it. We just want to just screw with people. I'm not concerned.
[00:03:58] Speaker B: It's not that shawn is wrong. It's to say that I feel like these type of games and role playing games in general have a lot of, I don't want to say made up words. A lot of times they're words that are borrowed from other languages or, you know, some other text that they're pulling them from, but because they're given to you in written form, and then you and your collective group kind of decide on the pronunciation of things when you meet another group who, again, the only resource they had was the written word, and they sounded it out essentially. It's interesting when worlds collide and then someone says a word and you're like, what the hell is that person talking about? Then you're like, oh, they mean this. I had to think for a minute, because I think it was. We always pronounce it anti tribute.
[00:04:39] Speaker A: Okay, yeah, that also sounds right, but.
[00:04:41] Speaker B: It'S a n t I t r I b u. So anti tree boo or anti tribute, I think, is just how you pronounce it. That's more of a commentary on roleplaying games in general, not on Sean's pronunciation.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: And we all know my pronunciation is perfect.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: Otherwise, impeccable.
[00:04:58] Speaker E: I've heard ask Shawn about zelgeths and exocorths.
[00:05:01] Speaker A: Oh, shush. That's why I'm not saying that. I have a list of names I need to send to Haya because they may or may not have a middle eastern flair to them. And I don't want to mess them all up and have her, like, reach through the screen and throttle me, because it's like nails on a chalkboard to her ears.
[00:05:21] Speaker C: I can't exactly blame you.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: I'm not saying I have that to send to her. I'm not not saying that, but.
[00:05:29] Speaker C: All right.
[00:05:30] Speaker A: We've put this off long enough, I think.
[00:05:32] Speaker B: True. Brujah for the win. All right, let's go.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: Oh, God, they're so broken.
[00:05:35] Speaker B: I love them.
[00:05:36] Speaker A: City gangrel. Also broken.
So last time y'all were here, you finished off a warsworn corpseworm with quadruple damage from twintalent. And then you guys all rested because you were all severely incapacitated with status effects.
[00:05:54] Speaker B: I wouldn't say all of us, but okay.
[00:05:56] Speaker E: I think there were two of us that were particularly impacted by two different scenarios.
[00:06:00] Speaker A: I'm pretty sure knife sword was low on spells.
[00:06:03] Speaker E: Yeah, but that's not, like, a status affliction. That's just. It needs to rest.
[00:06:07] Speaker A: Have you met knife sword buddy? I'm here.
But you all had some lovely scenes and things like that, and it was very touching. Then you guys finally went upstairs, and the iron golems that you had seen walking or that Saraya saw patrolling the area were commanded to attack you by this stout, stern looking dwarven woman. And before we roll, initiative shocker. I may have jumped the gun a little bit, saying, you know, initiative, but she is going to look at you and say, how? How have you gotten here?
[00:06:46] Speaker B: One floor at a time.
[00:06:47] Speaker E: We're better than you.
[00:06:49] Speaker D: Through the front door.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: She spits on the ground.
[00:06:53] Speaker E: The elf says, we're better than you.
The fighter rogue says, does the most practical, like, one floor at a time.
[00:07:01] Speaker A: And then, ooh.
[00:07:03] Speaker E: Who I love and adore, just adore. There's just three perfect answers. And I loved it.
[00:07:08] Speaker C: Do we recognize this dwarven lady?
[00:07:10] Speaker A: You have never seen her, but she does match the description of one Isra embermed.
[00:07:17] Speaker E: Ember Mead. I thought so.
[00:07:19] Speaker B: It's Elsa Firewine.
Telephone. It's game of telephone.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: Why have you been interfering with my plans?
[00:07:32] Speaker B: I mean, slavery's bad. We've been kicking your organization's ass up and down the coast. So, you know, we figured, why not come over here and do the same thing?
[00:07:40] Speaker A: You will never stop our great work. Seize them. And now she tried to converse for a hot second, but now it's time to combat.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: I was trying to get her to monologue, but I guess that didn't work.
[00:07:57] Speaker C: Tell us more about your great organization.
[00:08:00] Speaker B: Maybe I'll join. Who's to say? What's your deal?
[00:08:04] Speaker A: Obviously we offer a weeks vacation every year anyway.
[00:08:11] Speaker E: Initiative.
[00:08:12] Speaker C: So yeah, slavery bad. We're here to kick your butts, and that's all there is to it.
[00:08:18] Speaker E: And I assume all the slavery is in service of eventually trying to bring, like, dohaq back or something.
[00:08:23] Speaker A: Rob, what is your initiative?
[00:08:24] Speaker F: 42.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: All right, 42. Matt, what is twin Talon's initiative?
[00:08:29] Speaker B: 43.
[00:08:30] Speaker C: Woo.
[00:08:32] Speaker B: With a bonus of plus five. Higher.
[00:08:33] Speaker A: Heidi?
[00:08:34] Speaker D: 26.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: Hiya.
[00:08:36] Speaker C: Brianna got a 36.
[00:08:40] Speaker A: All right. And Christine Serea has a 33. All right, all right. And I have numbers too. Matt, you're going first.
[00:08:49] Speaker B: Oh, okay. All right. Okay. All right. Okay. So I'm just thinking, do we think it would be beneficial to take out the golems, or do we think that they're gonna be soaking up attacks while she does stuff from the back? Cause the way it's positioned, it feels like the golems are between us and her.
[00:09:06] Speaker D: Do what your heart tells you.
[00:09:07] Speaker E: I think it's worthwhile to see what we can do to the golems. Like, I would do a knowledge check on them if we can.
[00:09:14] Speaker B: I mean, hide and some of that. Right?
[00:09:16] Speaker E: I did a little bit, but I didn't get, like, their weaknesses or anything. I just got their special attacks. Cause I wanted to know how terrible it would be to go against them. The answer. Pretty terrible.
[00:09:24] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[00:09:25] Speaker B: They breathe fish, I hear.
[00:09:26] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:09:28] Speaker B: Poisson.
[00:09:30] Speaker E: No, no, they don't breathe poisson. They breathe poison.
[00:09:37] Speaker B: This game of telephone is out of control.
[00:09:44] Speaker E: That's kind of hilarious because that seems like something that would definitely happen in writing. Like, someone forgets or adds an extra s and it's like, oh, Poisson. Like, no, no, no. Poor.
[00:09:52] Speaker A: This golem's poison.
[00:09:55] Speaker E: I think doing some more knowledge checks on them would be good. And then if we can figure out who's gonna be best to deal with them and send everybody else towards, like, if it's like, oh, you can't hurt them with physical damage. Like, obviously. Like knife, sword, and.
[00:10:08] Speaker B: Sorry.
[00:10:08] Speaker E: You can take care of it. And you guys should go for the dwarf. You know what I mean?
[00:10:11] Speaker B: Okay, so first things first. Twin Talon is going to place his hand on his right thigh and say, a long legged cat with round black spots swiftly moves, chasing the zebra. And you hear thwomp. It's like his body starts to, like, vibrate and he casts haste on himself. Yeah, he's gonna, brr.
[00:10:29] Speaker E: Tattoo my twin Talon. Go brr.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: All right, that's two actions. So he doesn't get his extra action until he gains actions at the beginning of the turn, essentially. But, yeah, next turn, you'll have it. And he will move. 510 15 2025 and 30. So tintal moves out and around the staircase. She's kind of in the room proper. I don't see anything more than I did before. She's over there by the forge. The two golden's are in the middle of the room. There's a bunch of things that are obstructing my view. I'm guessing they're like pillars or forges or whatever.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: Yeah, the forge is from floor to ceiling, but the anvil should not be blocking.
[00:11:10] Speaker B: And then Taysani is gonna come out and kind of fly around into the open near that double door to the south that we said look like it had been partially melted shut. And that's where she's gonna end, and that's my turn.
[00:11:21] Speaker A: All right, next up is knife sword.
[00:11:25] Speaker B: I'm here.
[00:11:25] Speaker F: How specific can I get with my gravity well?
[00:11:28] Speaker A: I'm going to need more information on what you mean by that.
[00:11:31] Speaker F: If I cast gravity well in her stomach, can I draw all the blood from her brain down to her stomach? So she passed out?
[00:11:36] Speaker A: No, unfortunately not.
[00:11:40] Speaker C: That is awesome, though. That's the.
[00:11:42] Speaker E: Can I catch? Create water in his lungs.
[00:11:44] Speaker F: Arguing it was worth a shot.
[00:11:47] Speaker C: Hey, it's creative.
[00:11:49] Speaker B: It is, but I think you have to see the point of. You have to have line of sight to the thing. You're trying to like your center point for your gravity well.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: Hey, I'll give you an e for effort, you know?
[00:11:57] Speaker F: All right, so, Matt, cut open her stomach so I can see where I'm putting the gravity well on it.
All right, I'm gonna use telekinetic bombardment. I'm gonna fling that table next to the left iron golem.
[00:12:11] Speaker A: We'll call that one goalie.
[00:12:12] Speaker F: Goalie. All right, I'm gonna fling a table at goalie using telekinetic bombardment.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: All right, so I need to make a reflex save.
[00:12:20] Speaker B: You could actually hit both of them. It's a ten foot burst.
[00:12:23] Speaker F: All right, I'll hit both of them, then.
[00:12:24] Speaker B: Oh, wow. I didn't realize this could knock people prone or stun them. I thought it was just a bunch of damage. And what level are you casting this at? Oh, seven, which is the max. You can cast anything, right? Mm hmm.
[00:12:34] Speaker A: All right, so goalie succeeded, but. Holy failed.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: All right, why not call her irony?
[00:12:42] Speaker F: That's 59 damage.
[00:12:44] Speaker A: Oh, boy. What type of damage is that?
[00:12:46] Speaker F: A hammer?
[00:12:46] Speaker B: Bludgeoning.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: Bludgeoning. Got it.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: Table damage?
[00:12:51] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:52] Speaker F: Honestly.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: Duh. What is that table made out of?
[00:12:55] Speaker F: That's a good question. If it's marshmallow, this wasn't very effective.
[00:12:58] Speaker B: Probably at a mantine. Right? Is it at a mantine table?
[00:13:00] Speaker A: We're throwing it there. At the golems? Sure. No, it is steel and iron. In fact, you actually see a couple pieces of what look like replacement parts for the iron golem.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: I thought you were gonna say it looks like someone cut the pattern of the iron golem out of the table.
[00:13:17] Speaker C: It's just like stamping blanks.
[00:13:20] Speaker B: Is it enchanted, where she cuts her dress patterns out of his curtains. Is that what I'm thinking of?
[00:13:24] Speaker C: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
[00:13:26] Speaker B: Yeah. So one of them takes half damage, right?
[00:13:28] Speaker A: Oh, yes, that's correct.
[00:13:29] Speaker B: And then the other one is. Takes full damage and is knocked prone.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: Yes. Okay, so this one I'm going to.
[00:13:34] Speaker F: Heal, and then for my next trick, I'm gonna move behind. Everybody.
[00:13:38] Speaker C: Checks out.
[00:13:38] Speaker E: I mean, he is the small and squishy one.
[00:13:40] Speaker C: Yo. Itty bitty.
[00:13:42] Speaker F: I have more in common with a marshmallow than an iron golem.
[00:13:45] Speaker B: It's true. You're both sweet.
And if you stick at them and put them over the fire, they get crispy. So it's like the same knife sword.
[00:13:54] Speaker A: Roasting on an open fire.
[00:13:57] Speaker B: So one took 29, the other one took 59 and is knocked prone, correct.
[00:14:01] Speaker A: Yes. Creature takes full damage, is knocked prone.
[00:14:06] Speaker B: Their hit point totals are different right now.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: They are?
[00:14:08] Speaker B: Yes. Okay. Cause they both say barely injured, so it's hard to tell.
[00:14:12] Speaker A: No, I know. No, they are different hit points. But I will tell you, not all of that looked like it went through.
[00:14:17] Speaker C: Oh, dear.
[00:14:18] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, they're golems. They probably have some kind of damage resistance.
[00:14:21] Speaker A: All right, it is my turn now with Miss Embermead. Oh, so many fun things.
[00:14:29] Speaker E: I give you 10 seconds. If you don't make up your mind, she loses her turn to decision paralysis.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:14:34] Speaker E: I like that. Ten, nine, eight, seven.
He hasn't responded.
[00:14:40] Speaker C: Uh huh.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: He's too busy sweating.
[00:14:43] Speaker A: No, I'm just trying to see the range.
[00:14:45] Speaker B: 80Ft. You're 80ft from me.
[00:14:46] Speaker A: No, for the spell.
[00:14:48] Speaker B: 10Ft. The spell's range is 10ft.
[00:14:50] Speaker E: Doesn't matter what the spell is.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: That's what it is.
[00:14:55] Speaker C: I hate you all.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: Oh, it's one of those stupid. Okay, that's why.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: Touch. It's touch.
[00:15:01] Speaker E: How do I touch?
[00:15:02] Speaker C: Roll.
[00:15:05] Speaker A: Right.
She is going to lumber closer to you.
[00:15:13] Speaker B: That's two actions to get there.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: One action. 30ft, movement.
[00:15:16] Speaker B: All right, I know I do this with your big bads, but. So she's a dwarf with 30ft of movement.
[00:15:21] Speaker E: She could have boots or something, I guess.
[00:15:24] Speaker A: Nope, nope. Matt, you are 100% correct. I'm going to rewind this whole turn. We're going to start over. We're going to move up 25ft because.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: Even that, I think, is a bonus. Like 20. I think they have a speed of 20, but they can't be slowed down. So, like, 25 would be her with, like, a bonus. I get that. I totally believe that. But it's hard to get bonus movement that's, like, constant. More than, like, 5ft of it.
[00:15:43] Speaker A: All right. She is going to target the person who's come forward and you see a small hammer thrown at you. So that is a 37 to hit and an 18 on the flat check.
[00:15:59] Speaker B: That's a hit.
[00:16:00] Speaker C: Alas, I cannot liberate.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: All right.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: Sorry. It's okay.
[00:16:02] Speaker A: So the light hammer hits you in the face, and you're gonna take 21 points of damage.
[00:16:09] Speaker C: Owie. Ouchies.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: And the hammer then flies back into her hand.
[00:16:14] Speaker B: Your macrame hammer is no match for us.
[00:16:17] Speaker A: And then you see her wiggle her fingers and cast a. What level? Fifth level. Cantrip.
[00:16:25] Speaker B: A one action spell.
[00:16:26] Speaker A: And that's it. That's her turn. Next up is Brianna.
[00:16:31] Speaker C: Okay, so we said we're gonna focus on her.
[00:16:33] Speaker B: I don't know that we really decided that. I think I just begged the question.
[00:16:36] Speaker E: I think we need to figure out what the weaknesses of the golems are. Her settler.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: Yeah. Do we think that the golems are there to soak up hits while she does her thing and we should be better focusing on her? Or do we think that. Not that. I don't know.
[00:16:47] Speaker C: Well, if we could somehow scratch off their runes to make them inert, I think that would be a good idea. But I think for Brianna's first action, she's gonna focus on the golem and see what else she can figure out other than them having bad breath. What am I rolling?
[00:17:06] Speaker A: You are rolling either Arcana or crafting your choice.
[00:17:11] Speaker C: Well.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: And would she get the specialization bonus for armor?
[00:17:14] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:17:15] Speaker B: So additional plus two?
[00:17:16] Speaker A: Yes. I was just gonna take two off the difficulty, but it's the same deal, so.
[00:17:20] Speaker C: Okay. Okay. I will add a circumstance of class two, and I don't think a 27.
[00:17:28] Speaker A: Hits, that is not enough.
[00:17:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I think they're just stinky breaths. I think Brianna's just gonna move forward and try and keep everybody's attention. Cause things are hard to get around her, so she is not very fat fast.
[00:17:44] Speaker B: Do you want to leave an action for your shield?
[00:17:46] Speaker C: Yeah. So unfortunately, that would be as far as I can move.
[00:17:51] Speaker B: You have to go around the edge of the steps.
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Oh, geez. So 510. 15. 25. Is this in five or is that 30?
[00:18:00] Speaker B: Yeah, that's good.
[00:18:00] Speaker A: All right. And then you're gonna raise your shield.
[00:18:02] Speaker C: And as a free action, I will clang my scimitar on my shield. Come and get it, boys.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Meets.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: Back on the menu, boys. All right, Saraya, Christine, it is your turn.
[00:18:15] Speaker E: I will also try to see what else I can remember about these lovely golems. So I'm gonna roll my crafting.
[00:18:23] Speaker A: All right. Arcana or crafting. You can craft magical items, right?
[00:18:28] Speaker E: I can craft magical items.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: Then I will give you a two. Cool.
[00:18:31] Speaker E: It's gonna come up as alchemy, but it's magical crafting. 37.
[00:18:35] Speaker A: So that is a success, not a critical success. You may ask me two questions.
[00:18:40] Speaker E: Okay. Weaknesses, if any, and or resistances, if that just cancels your questions.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll give you all of that. Please be prepared for a long chat. They are immune to the following effects. Bleed, death, disease. Doomed. Drained, fatigued. Fire. Healing magic. There's a note on that. Mental necromancy, non lethal attacks. Paralyzation, poisoned, sickened, unconsciousness. They are immune to those. They are resistant to physical by 15 points, unless it is adamantine. They have golem antimagic, which is what they are resistant to magic wise. They are harmed by acid. So again, if it is magical acid, not alchemical acid, because that makes no sense for some reason. What the spell says, it is 60 ten. If it is an area of effect or persistent damage, it is two d eight. Magical acid damage. They are healed by fire. They are healed by whatever the spell does normally, or if it is an area effect, it is two d eight. And they are slowed by electricity, magic. They are also vulnerable to neutralized poison. By doing that, you neutralize and deactivate the golem's breath weapon for 1 minute. They are also vulnerable to rust magic. Rusting effects, like a rust monster's antennae, affect the iron golem normally.
[00:20:11] Speaker C: Curses, that would have been a good idea.
[00:20:13] Speaker A: Yeah, definitely would have been. Unfortunately, did not roll high enough. But I really appreciated that. That was a really good idea. And you get to ask one more question, Christine.
[00:20:21] Speaker E: Do we want to know how many hit points they have so we know what we're dealing with here? Because I don't think their saves are going to help us. Or do we want to know what their ac is so we know what we have to try and do?
[00:20:28] Speaker B: I feel like I would be more interested in what their lowest save is for knife swords benefit, because for. Ooh. And brianna and myself, we're going to swing our swords, you know, when the AC is what it is. But knowing what their lowest save is might mean that knife sword uses, or you even that do like, different saves, target one save versus another one.
[00:20:46] Speaker E: So, yeah. What is their. What are their saves?
[00:20:48] Speaker A: Their highest save is fortitude with a plus 26. Their lowest save is reflex with a plus 21.
[00:20:56] Speaker B: Did you get that? Knife sword. Are you here?
[00:20:58] Speaker F: I'm here. No, I didn't.
[00:21:00] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: Reflex saves are their worst use.
[00:21:03] Speaker E: Spells that need reflex saves that do electric or acid if you can, don't.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: Use fire, fireball and all other magic they're immune to. Is that correct?
[00:21:12] Speaker A: That is correct.
[00:21:13] Speaker E: Alrighty, so here's a question.
[00:21:15] Speaker A: Uh oh.
[00:21:16] Speaker E: Acid flasks do one damage and then three d, six, persistence. So would it do that initial, like, what was that? Like ten D whatever, and then two d eight every turn thereafter.
[00:21:28] Speaker A: What are the tags on that? Is it magical?
[00:21:32] Speaker E: It is not. So is it only magical that does it?
[00:21:35] Speaker A: Yes. Then no.
[00:21:36] Speaker E: But regular acid will still affect them normally.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: Correct. This is something I've been getting wrong with golems in all of the games I've been running is if you hit them with acid, I've been giving you the bonus onto it. But I was reading something, and it was like only magical versions of these elements actually caused the anti magic to.
[00:21:56] Speaker E: Okay. And I can still give them speed penalties then with frost vials.
[00:22:00] Speaker A: Also, frost does affect them as normal.
[00:22:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:03] Speaker E: So, I mean, yeah, that's usually the speed penalty.
[00:22:05] Speaker B: You said they are slow, slowed by electricity. Is that correct?
[00:22:08] Speaker A: Correct. Electricity, magic. Right.
[00:22:10] Speaker B: Slowed.
[00:22:10] Speaker A: What causes it to be slowed? One for two D six rounds. If it's an area effect and the golem starts, it's turned in that area of effect, it is slowed. One for that round.
[00:22:20] Speaker B: Okay, cool. Well, my swords do electricity magical damage. That's why I'm asking.
[00:22:24] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, that's right.
[00:22:26] Speaker B: So even if I just go, like, hit you for one, hit you for one, and then continue on to what's your face like? They're slowed for two d, six rounds. Is that what you said?
[00:22:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Slowed. One for two d, six rounds.
[00:22:37] Speaker E: So since alchemical fire won't heal them, I'm going to throw some alchemist fires.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: Do not forget that the one on the right is on its back. It fell over.
[00:22:48] Speaker E: I will target that one because generally speaking, being prone makes things easier to hit. Or you could roll a critical one like me and decide to use a hero point.
[00:22:56] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:22:57] Speaker A: Oh, hero point.
[00:22:59] Speaker B: Good.
[00:23:00] Speaker A: First turn. Everyone has three hero points.
[00:23:03] Speaker C: Oh, all right.
[00:23:04] Speaker E: Well, now I have two, and I got a 36 to hit on my reroll.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:23:08] Speaker A: That is a hit.
[00:23:09] Speaker E: Schweet, Dahmer, shamash 16, and then three splash. I'm going to do a normal splash. Okay. And because I targeted the one that's further away, there's no real point in doing the 15 foot cone because. Not gonna hit anybody, but I will. I will do the same. Thing again. We're gonna try that again. 38. Seven.
[00:23:32] Speaker A: That'll also hit. It is also not immune to persistent damage. Did I say?
[00:23:37] Speaker E: Oh, it's not cool. So it's also burning a little bit and it has that damage also. Again, I got a 37 hit the second time. So 23 more fire damage, three more splash. And the persistent is three as well.
[00:23:52] Speaker A: All right, not a bad round for Miss Saraya.
[00:23:56] Speaker C: Hell, yeah. Good job, Saraya.
[00:23:58] Speaker E: Thank you.
[00:23:59] Speaker A: All right, so the golem that is flat on its back, first action is going to stand up.
[00:24:05] Speaker C: No, go to sleep, please.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:24:07] Speaker E: Has anybody else been playing? Boulders, gate three. And it's just like the fucking steel watchers are here.
[00:24:12] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: Hopefully these guys don't explode.
[00:24:15] Speaker C: Right.
[00:24:15] Speaker E: I would not put it past them.
[00:24:17] Speaker B: Oh, I hate them. Stand clear.
[00:24:19] Speaker A: Second action, it's going to move forward. Oh, it's so slow. It only moves.
[00:24:26] Speaker B: Its speed is 10ft, right? Speed's 5ft, 2ft, 1ft.
[00:24:30] Speaker A: I mean, pretty much 20ft. Might as well be.
[00:24:34] Speaker C: Remember that the area around me is considered difficult terrain.
[00:24:38] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you.
[00:24:43] Speaker C: So sassy.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: I'm spicy today. All right, clearly it's then going to use its last action to inexorably march. It is going to move up to its speed, which is here.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: And was that 20ft?
[00:25:00] Speaker A: It's 20ft, yeah.
[00:25:01] Speaker B: We can't move that far.
[00:25:02] Speaker A: Wait, what?
[00:25:02] Speaker B: The area around Brianna is difficult terrain.
[00:25:06] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. Is difficult. It's like she just said that or.
[00:25:09] Speaker C: Something I just said.
[00:25:10] Speaker B: It's like she literally just said it.
[00:25:13] Speaker C: Weird.
[00:25:14] Speaker E: Weird.
[00:25:15] Speaker A: And it's all the squares around you. I don't like that. Stop that.
[00:25:18] Speaker B: Every square adjacent to Brianna? Yes. It's like teamwork is like a thing that's important in Pathfinder and when you do it well, Pathfinder characters can be very powerful.
[00:25:31] Speaker A: You're all garbage and I don't like it.
[00:25:33] Speaker C: All right.
[00:25:33] Speaker A: It's just gonna move down to the southeast.
[00:25:37] Speaker B: I mean, you could get next to me. It just can't get next to me. Brianna, essentially.
[00:25:40] Speaker A: But it has to, like, move through your square. But since you're adjacent to Brianna, technically I can't move through that square.
[00:25:46] Speaker B: You could move adjacent to me.
[00:25:48] Speaker A: Yeah, but then you wouldn't have to move to hit me and I don't want that.
[00:25:50] Speaker B: Okay. Up to you.
[00:25:52] Speaker A: All right, so it takes three damage from the fire and it fails its recovery. Check.
[00:25:58] Speaker B: Good.
[00:26:00] Speaker A: All right, so then the next one.
[00:26:02] Speaker E: Petition to name this episode disco Inferno.
[00:26:06] Speaker A: Noted for its first action, the other golem will move directly to the south, in front of Brianna. And for its second action, it is going to use its fist on her.
[00:26:17] Speaker C: Whoa. Do not consent.
[00:26:19] Speaker B: Actually, you've probably forgotten this, Shawn, but the area around Brianna is difficult to rank.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: I'm aware.
[00:26:27] Speaker B: Okay, just checking.
[00:26:29] Speaker A: I hate ball.
[00:26:30] Speaker C: No, you don't.
[00:26:31] Speaker E: So you married at least one of us.
[00:26:33] Speaker A: Provably untrue.
[00:26:35] Speaker C: At least one of us?
[00:26:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:26:37] Speaker C: Man, I don't know what else he's.
[00:26:40] Speaker E: Done with his life. Man, I don't know.
[00:26:42] Speaker A: It's going to fist Brianna in the face.
[00:26:45] Speaker C: Hello.
[00:26:46] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:26:47] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:26:50] Speaker A: That is a 30 to hit.
[00:26:52] Speaker E: That's a great fail.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: This is an unarmed attack.
First you fall unconscious until you wake up or the end of your next turn.
[00:27:03] Speaker B: Unfortunately, it's immune to unconscious.
[00:27:05] Speaker A: Yes, thankfully.
[00:27:07] Speaker C: Oh, boo.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: It hits its head on the ground and it's just like, boom.
[00:27:10] Speaker B: Oh, it rings its own bell. Oh, this will let us know. Are golems Hollow or are they solid? Cause if it rings like a bell, we know it's hollow.
[00:27:18] Speaker F: Yeah, I'm always disappointed when I get a hollow chocolate bunny.
[00:27:22] Speaker B: But this means you can crawl inside. If you can make a hole in it. Good luck punching me when I'm inside of your throat.
[00:27:28] Speaker A: Second attack on Brianna is a 28. Jesus.
[00:27:33] Speaker C: Yeah. Roll another one.
[00:27:35] Speaker E: One more. Crit fail.
[00:27:38] Speaker A: Pinched nerve until healed. You take a ten foot circumstance penalty to land speed and are clumsy. One. Well, I'm not immune to clumsy.
[00:27:47] Speaker E: Can it even move at this point?
[00:27:49] Speaker B: Its now speed is now ten. So just get past it and it will never find you.
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Can I reload my save point and start this encounter over again?
[00:27:58] Speaker B: No. Save scumming, Sean.
[00:28:01] Speaker E: I save scum purely for dialogue. Options.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Heidi, it is your turn. What is oo doing?
[00:28:09] Speaker D: Well, things have changed since I was planning this before. First things first, childrens. We rage because that's what we do. And then we are taking our dread Marshall stance. So we do an intimidations check. So I rolled and it said 40.
[00:28:25] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:28:26] Speaker C: Hell yeah.
[00:28:27] Speaker A: That is a critical success.
[00:28:29] Speaker C: Get it?
[00:28:30] Speaker D: All right. 20 foot emanation.
[00:28:32] Speaker B: It's critical. It means it gets bigger.
[00:28:34] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:28:34] Speaker D: Do not forget, children, that you get damage dice. So you get four extra damage to each of your attacks. And then we move and we strike out at the face. Four to seven.
[00:28:47] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:28:48] Speaker C: Jeez. Get em.
[00:28:49] Speaker B: Is that a nat 20?
[00:28:50] Speaker A: That is a natural 20.
[00:28:53] Speaker C: Hell.
Hell yeah.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: I am not immune to criticals.
[00:28:58] Speaker D: No, you are not.
[00:28:59] Speaker B: Are they immune to frightened? When she crits, they get frightened.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. They are not immune to frightened.
[00:29:05] Speaker C: Very nice.
[00:29:06] Speaker D: All right, rupture abdominal cavity. This is triple damage, and the target is fatigued.
[00:29:13] Speaker A: Ha. I am immune to fatigue. But triple damage.
[00:29:16] Speaker E: But you're not immune to triple damage.
[00:29:18] Speaker C: The triple damage. Yep.
[00:29:20] Speaker B: And that animantine battle axe is gonna cut through all that damage reduction, yo.
[00:29:25] Speaker D: But I also have special things with my axe, don't I?
[00:29:27] Speaker A: Greater striking, fearsome, greater impactful cold iron battle axe.
[00:29:32] Speaker B: Fearsome and greater impactful would be. Be the two things that would be special. Special.
[00:29:36] Speaker D: Ooh, special.
[00:29:37] Speaker C: Special.
[00:29:38] Speaker D: Do I do damage and then multiply by three?
[00:29:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:40] Speaker D: Okay. Regular damage.
[00:29:41] Speaker E: Doo doo doo.
[00:29:42] Speaker D: 18 times three.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: The force doesn't affect them.
[00:29:45] Speaker C: They're not force sensitive.
[00:29:46] Speaker A: So 17 times three.
[00:29:48] Speaker B: You've got this, Shawn. You can do it.
[00:29:50] Speaker A: Is 51, and then it's not adamantine, is it?
[00:29:55] Speaker B: Yes, it is. We just said that.
[00:29:57] Speaker C: Shawn, are you okay?
[00:29:58] Speaker A: I did just. All right. I'm drunk.
[00:30:02] Speaker B: Go home.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: I'm drunk.
[00:30:04] Speaker D: Clearly.
[00:30:05] Speaker C: Oh, we're going home. Okay.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: 51 points of damage to this poor, defenseless Golem.
[00:30:11] Speaker E: Defenseless.
[00:30:12] Speaker D: Poor and defenseless.
[00:30:13] Speaker C: Mm hmm.
[00:30:13] Speaker E: Mm hmm.
[00:30:14] Speaker D: Those are the words that I would not use for that.
[00:30:16] Speaker A: Gollum, gollum, gollum.
[00:30:18] Speaker B: Fearsome makes a target frightened, one and forceful.
[00:30:22] Speaker A: It's. If you make a second attack, I.
[00:30:24] Speaker B: Believe you can choose to force the target to succeed at a 14 saver and be pushed away from you.
[00:30:29] Speaker D: No, but I'd like to add an extra four damage to that total number. So 51. I think we said plus 54.
[00:30:36] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, you would, wouldn't ya?
[00:30:38] Speaker B: Which is actually twelve damage. So it's times three.
[00:30:40] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. Yeah. That was a really good turn.
[00:30:43] Speaker C: Hell yeah.
[00:30:44] Speaker A: All right, twin Talon, it is your twin.
[00:30:46] Speaker B: Okay, so twin Talon will place his hand on his chest, and he will say, keep me out of sight, both in darkness and in light. And there's like, the spectral chameleon that kind of overlaps, delays his form, and then he kind of just blends into the background.
[00:30:59] Speaker E: Where'd he go?
[00:30:59] Speaker B: So he is now invisible. Greater invisible, in fact. You are undetected to everyone. Creatures can seek to attempt to detect you. If creatures succeed as perception, check into your stealth DC, you become hidden instead, until you sneak to become undetected again. If you become invisible while someone can already see you, you start out as hidden to the observer instead of undetected. Until you successfully sneak, you cannot become observed via special abilities or magic. And I looked it up, and invisibility is an illusion spell, but there is nothing inherently mental about it because I know they are immune to mental. So the lion golems are affected by it as well. I thought I was just gonna be invisible to her, but I think I'm invisible to everybody.
[00:31:32] Speaker C: Very cool.
[00:31:33] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm down with that.
[00:31:34] Speaker B: All right, so third action of the round. I am going to sneak. So now I am undetected.
[00:31:41] Speaker C: He's a sneaky snake.
[00:31:43] Speaker B: I am. I am. Then going to attack the one that.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: On fire or frightened?
[00:31:51] Speaker B: I'll attack the on fire one. All right, this golem's on fire.
[00:31:54] Speaker C: This golem.
We had to.
[00:32:00] Speaker B: Mm hmm. And it's also off guard to me because I am invisible.
[00:32:05] Speaker A: I just assume everything's off guard to you.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: It is, mostly.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: It's the easiest way to live my life.
[00:32:10] Speaker B: Yeah, just assume it is. We'll let you know when that's not the case. The default is that it is, I think. So. I rolled a natural 20, which is pretty good.
[00:32:19] Speaker C: Oh. Dance.
[00:32:22] Speaker E: Get some.
[00:32:23] Speaker B: So if you could pull a crit card for me, please. Ooh. This is a patron card.
[00:32:27] Speaker A: And this is from Mike from Perth.
[00:32:30] Speaker C: Mike from Prince.
[00:32:32] Speaker B: All right. Organ piercing. Fortitude, save or die. Target is sicken. Two if they survive.
[00:32:38] Speaker C: All right.
[00:32:39] Speaker A: Fortitude, save. What is your class? DC, Mister Talon.
[00:32:42] Speaker B: Are they immune to death effects?
[00:32:44] Speaker A: They are immune to death effects, yes. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
[00:32:48] Speaker B: I think it's not gonna work against them, unfortunately, as much as I would like it to.
[00:32:51] Speaker A: Yeah. But then isn't it triple damage still?
[00:32:53] Speaker B: It's double damage. And target is sickened, too. Are they immune to sickened?
[00:32:58] Speaker A: Yes, they are.
[00:32:59] Speaker B: Okay, so it's generally just double at this point. It's just double damage. But you know what kind of damage I do? I'll tell you. Electricity damage. They're going to be slowed. So it's not going to take the thunder damage, but it will take the rest of it. Actually, it won't take the shock damage either. Really? It just gets slowed. One.
[00:33:13] Speaker A: It's nice.
[00:33:14] Speaker B: I can turn them off. That's really cool. Foundry's got some cool plugins sometimes, so that is 24 points of damage. -15 is nine points of damage. And I'll put precise debilitation on it so it gives an extra three d six. But essentially the thing that's important is it's now slowed. One for two d six turns.
[00:33:31] Speaker A: Yep. And go ahead and roll the below average.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: But losing five actions isn't bad.
[00:33:38] Speaker A: Yeah, not great. Not great. Not happy about that. Anything else you'd like to do to ruin my day?
[00:33:44] Speaker B: No, but Taysani's gonna go.
[00:33:45] Speaker A: Oh, okay. All right.
[00:33:47] Speaker B: And Taysani is going to strike it. I don't even know what her damage is. She might not even be able to penetrate its damage reduction, but we'll find out. Maybe, I don't know why. But it's not jaws or talon jaws, I think. I don't know, 27 to hit. So she tries to be cat it, but it doesn't. Doesn't hit.
[00:34:07] Speaker A: All right. Hey, Rob, are you there?
[00:34:09] Speaker F: No.
[00:34:09] Speaker A: Okay, well, if you were there, it would be your turn.
[00:34:12] Speaker F: Okay, I'm here. I'll move up one space, and then I'm gonna cast electric arc at the one in front of Tasani and then try to arc it.
[00:34:19] Speaker A: Okay, so that one is already slow, just so you know. Oh, but you can arc it to both of them. Never mind, go ahead. Okay.
[00:34:25] Speaker F: And it's a reflex save.
[00:34:27] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. Oh, God. Oh, great. The one that is already slowed critically fails.
[00:34:35] Speaker B: So this isn't actually gonna do damage to it, but it will slow it.
[00:34:38] Speaker A: Then the other one succeeds, but is slowed. One.
[00:34:41] Speaker F: I thought electric or acid was the damage we were supposed to do.
[00:34:44] Speaker B: So electricity slows them. It doesn't do damage, but it slows them, which is important. Cause it robs them of their actions, essentially. And then acid just does, like, the fixed damage. So even if you do, like, acid splash like cantor of acid splash instead of snowball damage, it has, like, 68.
[00:34:58] Speaker A: All right, so the one that is slowed, one for five rounds is slowed, two for one round, isn't it?
[00:35:05] Speaker B: Two d, six rounds.
[00:35:06] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. Roll two d, six, Rob. Twice.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: Six.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: And then one more time.
[00:35:11] Speaker F: Six.
[00:35:12] Speaker B: Nice. Very consistent, easy to track.
[00:35:14] Speaker A: Yeah, it doesn't say anything special about a crit fail for the electricity. So I'm gonna make them slow. Two for six rounds, and then slowed. One for six rounds on the other one. All right, Rob, you moved and then you did a spell. Is that your turn?
[00:35:28] Speaker F: That's my turn.
[00:35:29] Speaker A: Okay, good. All right, it's Miss Embermead's turn. And she. I believe you're within 120ft, you being Brianna. She goes, I've heard about what you do. And she will cast a two action spell on you. Please roll a will save.
[00:35:54] Speaker C: All right, no pressure. Come on, Brianna, we got this.
[00:35:57] Speaker A: That is a fail. Ah, it's a critical fail.
[00:36:02] Speaker C: Take one of my hero points. I'm gonna do that again.
[00:36:04] Speaker A: All right, if you and Ziz.
[00:36:06] Speaker C: That was stinky. It's not much better, unfortunately. That's a seven.
[00:36:09] Speaker A: But that does move it up from a critical fail to a regular fail.
[00:36:13] Speaker C: All right, well, what can I do?
[00:36:15] Speaker E: Right, guys? You bumped it up a bit.
[00:36:17] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:36:18] Speaker A: Okay, so the spell is called spiritual epidemic. You curse the target, sapping its spirit and leaving a contagious trap in its essence. The target must attempt a will safe. Any creature that casts a divine or occult spell on the target while it's affected is targeted by the spiritual epidemic as well, and must also attempt a will save. The curse will continue to spread this way with a regular failure. You are enfeebled two and stupefied two for 1 minute, and then you're enfeebled one and stupefied one permanently.
[00:37:00] Speaker B: I think this might be something we want to use that rejuvenation elixir on.
[00:37:03] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: I've posted it into the chat so you can see all of the things about it, but yes. Yeah, this one's a goodie. I like this one.
[00:37:12] Speaker E: We have different definitions of the word.
[00:37:14] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who has a rejuvenation?
[00:37:18] Speaker A: I think I just put it in the group loot, and then I'm going to cast a one action spell. Good old shield.
[00:37:24] Speaker B: Not the beat shield.
[00:37:25] Speaker A: All right, it is now Brianna's turn. Just so you remember what these things do. So you're drained one, you're in feeble two. So at the end of each round, this will decrease. But all of your strength based attacks, saves, and damage and ability rolls are at minus two right now. And stupefied, you take a penalty equal to the value.
[00:37:50] Speaker B: It's intelligence, wisdom, and charisma based checks.
[00:37:52] Speaker A: Yeah, including DC's will saving throws, et cetera, are there.
[00:37:56] Speaker B: It does not go down at the end of every round. It lasts for ten rounds.
[00:37:59] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. Cause they're for 1 minute. Yes, that's right. Thank you. All right. You all like throwing around status effects? I'll throw around some status effects. Ha.
[00:38:08] Speaker C: Brianna will stumble back feeling this wave of grossness, but she feels the heat of her goddess's magic through her veins and remembers that she is a paragon of battle medicine. Which means when she successfully battle medicines herself, she can reduce a target's sickened enfeebled or clumsy condition by one.
[00:38:33] Speaker B: Oh, nice.
[00:38:33] Speaker E: Very nice.
[00:38:35] Speaker A: So you can drop the enfeebled as long as you succeed on your check.
[00:38:39] Speaker C: So for her first action, she's going to take a deep breath and look internally and battle medicine herself. Hopefully she will succeed.
[00:38:49] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:38:50] Speaker E: Yay.
[00:38:51] Speaker C: So she gets 43 points of healing back, if she still had any.
[00:38:55] Speaker A: I think you're maxed out currently.
[00:38:57] Speaker C: Okay. I thought I might have still had some leftover from prior ouchies, but she would reduce the enfeebled condition at least.
[00:39:06] Speaker A: All right, it is reduced by one.
[00:39:07] Speaker C: She's still feeling kind of cloudy. You guys are both attacking the injured Golem to the north.
[00:39:14] Speaker B: I'm going to be going for Embermaid.
[00:39:16] Speaker C: But yes, they have been okay, man. Damn it. For her free action, she's going to drop her scimitar. Second action, she's going to draw her adamantine pick. And I think all I can do is move up. I can't really do much of anything else.
[00:39:32] Speaker B: It's that array's shield. One of the two.
[00:39:34] Speaker C: I'll move into position and that is my turn.
[00:39:37] Speaker A: All right, next is Saraya.
[00:39:39] Speaker E: Okay. Now, if it's from two different sources, do speed penalties stack?
[00:39:44] Speaker B: Penalties typically don't stack. You just get the worst of the two.
[00:39:47] Speaker E: Okay, fair enough. Oh, she's only 75ft away.
[00:39:50] Speaker A: I would say if you try and lob something to her, you cannot get on the table.
[00:39:55] Speaker E: Why not?
[00:39:56] Speaker A: If you spend an action, I'll put you up. You can get jump up on.
[00:40:00] Speaker E: Sure, but what were you gonna say about trying to lob something at her?
[00:40:03] Speaker A: Yeah, because you're kind of down some steps. You would have to kind of like, arc it over that railing. I would give her a plus two bonus to her ac, just so you know.
[00:40:11] Speaker E: Well, I do have my goggles and my uncanny bombs, which reduce cover that they get from that kind of thing.
[00:40:19] Speaker A: Oh, okay, well, then, never mind, she wouldn't get cover. I'm gonna shut my whore mouth and just sit here.
[00:40:25] Speaker B: Serratus kind of listens and then just hurls this thing blindly knowing exactly where it is with echolocation.
[00:40:32] Speaker E: Look, I have the big pointy ear for a reason, okay?
[00:40:36] Speaker A: She sends Jasper, and Jasper is just her eyes.
[00:40:40] Speaker E: Hell yeah. Jasper is just like, do me a favor, bruh. Actually, yeah, no, I'm gonna stay like, even here.
[00:40:46] Speaker A: I believe you go 30ft, right?
[00:40:48] Speaker E: 35.
[00:40:49] Speaker A: Okay, so, yeah, but even so, I'm.
[00:40:51] Speaker E: 50Ft away from here, so that's a nice ten foot. Is there anything you'd like me to do to her? I can make her bleed.
[00:40:57] Speaker B: Yeah, just give her all status effects.
[00:40:59] Speaker C: All of them?
[00:41:00] Speaker E: Heck yeah.
[00:41:00] Speaker B: She's not even a magic.
[00:41:01] Speaker C: Mm hmm.
[00:41:02] Speaker E: No, she's not.
[00:41:03] Speaker B: We assume.
[00:41:04] Speaker E: We assume exactly.
[00:41:06] Speaker B: She's a fucking golem.
[00:41:07] Speaker C: Damn it.
[00:41:09] Speaker A: Fuck.
[00:41:12] Speaker E: Let's see how this goes. I'm going to. So my first action is to move. My second will be to make a ball. And the third action will be to throw my newly made blood bomb.
[00:41:22] Speaker A: I'm sorry, what?
[00:41:24] Speaker E: You heard that?
My blood bomb.
[00:41:27] Speaker B: Is it made of blood?
[00:41:29] Speaker E: It just makes people bleed. This flask is full of shrapnel and anticoagulants designed to make targets bleed out. It deals one slashing, three d, six persistent bleed, and three slashing splash damage.
[00:41:39] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:41:39] Speaker C: I love it.
[00:41:40] Speaker E: So let me target her, because I'm sure I can't make the animate objects bleed. They don't have blood.
[00:41:46] Speaker D: A 40 misses her.
[00:41:48] Speaker C: Jeez.
[00:41:50] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:41:50] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like I put that shield up for a reason.
[00:41:53] Speaker E: Jesus Christ.
[00:41:55] Speaker B: There's a 16 on the die. Jeez.
[00:41:57] Speaker A: Would you like to reroll?
[00:41:58] Speaker E: I'm not. The odds of me getting any better than that are astronomical. But still, I don't think I'm gonna be able to. It's my last action, though.
[00:42:05] Speaker A: Hmm.
[00:42:06] Speaker C: I mean, I did nothing this round much either, so don't.
[00:42:12] Speaker E: I mean, she's still gonna take the three slash.
[00:42:14] Speaker A: All right, so now it is McSlo Golem here who only gets one action this turn.
[00:42:21] Speaker B: Whoa.
[00:42:23] Speaker A: Well, when in doubt, fist someone.
[00:42:26] Speaker B: I was just like you say, rub it out.
[00:42:28] Speaker C: Okay, same thing.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: 31.
[00:42:31] Speaker C: To who?
[00:42:32] Speaker A: To Brianna.
[00:42:33] Speaker C: No.
[00:42:36] Speaker E: That was the best reaction.
[00:42:38] Speaker C: But no, no.
[00:42:41] Speaker A: It'S less slowly McSlowerson here, who only gets two actions. But you know what that means.
[00:42:47] Speaker B: Tell us, Shawn.
[00:42:48] Speaker A: It's breath weapon time.
[00:42:50] Speaker C: Oh, God.
[00:42:51] Speaker A: And it's a ten foot radius from one of the corners of their square, so that's gonna hit ooo and twin, Talon and Boyana. Poisonous gas in a ten foot radius. Gas persists for one round. Any creature in the area is exposed to the poison.
Ooh. Twintallon. And Brianna, can you please roll a fortitude save?
[00:43:13] Speaker C: I will likely attempt to liberate.
[00:43:15] Speaker A: All right, Heidi, what did you get?
[00:43:17] Speaker E: Mama got a net 20 for a total of four to seven.
[00:43:20] Speaker A: That is a critical success. No effect to you. Matt, what did you get?
[00:43:25] Speaker B: Twintalon got a 27. I rolled a three.
[00:43:28] Speaker A: That is a failure. Hiya. What did you roll?
[00:43:32] Speaker B: Twintallon has three hero points. I would like to use one too.
[00:43:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I just wanted to ask. Hyah first, and we'll go from there.
[00:43:38] Speaker C: Okay. I rolled a two for a 27 as well, so I believe I will also like to hero point.
[00:43:44] Speaker A: That's why I was. Let's just hero point those together. All right, go ahead and reroll.
[00:43:49] Speaker C: Whew.
[00:43:49] Speaker E: What'd you get?
[00:43:50] Speaker C: Twintellen.
[00:43:51] Speaker B: When I rerolled, I got a 35.
[00:43:53] Speaker A: Okay. And hya, what did you get on your reroll?
[00:43:56] Speaker C: I got a 36.
[00:43:58] Speaker A: And you both succeed.
[00:44:00] Speaker C: Thank goodness.
[00:44:01] Speaker A: And then I need to roll this. Heidi, it is ooh's turn.
[00:44:07] Speaker D: Hooray. I would like to strike with my battle axe. 41 to hit.
[00:44:15] Speaker A: That is a hit, but not a crit.
[00:44:18] Speaker D: Oh, poopy face. All right, 250-2423. Plus 427. 27. Dimash. Dimash.
[00:44:27] Speaker A: Okay, and your next action, we gonna swing again.
[00:44:31] Speaker B: Can I react to murder to skolem before she goes? I guess I almost forgot I could do that. I don't know how.
[00:44:38] Speaker A: I don't know how.
[00:44:38] Speaker E: It's like your favorite thing to do.
[00:44:40] Speaker B: It really is 31.
[00:44:42] Speaker A: That will hit.
[00:44:43] Speaker B: Okay, so that's 30 damage. -15 and then I'm gonna reroll the well.
[00:44:50] Speaker A: Hang on, aren't you plus four for ooh?
[00:44:53] Speaker B: I am, yes.
[00:44:54] Speaker A: So that's 19. Okay, and then what are you rerolling?
[00:44:58] Speaker B: So basically, anytime I take electricity damage, they're slowed. One for two d six rounds. It doesn't stack like you don't become slowed. Two slowed. Three, but it could extend the duration. So I rolled a nine on my two d six. So now this golem, the northwest golem, is slowed for nine rounds. I don't think it's badly injured. It's not making to nine rounds, but for the rest of its life, it slowed.
[00:45:20] Speaker A: All right. And then you did 19 points of damage. All right, back to you, Heidi.
[00:45:26] Speaker D: We strike again because that's our life. 33 to hit.
[00:45:30] Speaker A: That is a hit.
Actually, you know what's funny is it's saying that it's clumsy and off guard for you, but it didn't give you a crit last time. So make this one a crit.
[00:45:41] Speaker B: Alright, that seems fair.
[00:45:44] Speaker A: All right.
[00:45:45] Speaker D: This is called hamstring. It's a normal damage, but the crit effect is the target is knocked prone. The target is also clumsy too, until healed.
[00:45:55] Speaker B: Delicious ham.
[00:45:56] Speaker A: So that's 22 points of damage and they're prone. Yep.
[00:46:00] Speaker C: All right.
[00:46:01] Speaker D: And then I have one more action.
So we strike one more time.
[00:46:07] Speaker C: Oh, come home, baby.
[00:46:11] Speaker A: Boom.
[00:46:13] Speaker D: All net, 20 for a total of 37 again.
[00:46:18] Speaker C: Get it?
[00:46:19] Speaker D: This one is from Duke.
[00:46:21] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:46:22] Speaker D: This is called cast off. Double damage. And you may blind one creature other than the target within 15ft or 1 minute. The blinded target makes a fort save on a critical failure. The duration is permanent. On a success, the creature is instead dazzled for a minute. On a critical success, they are dazzled for five rounds. The secondary target may make two interact action to remove the dazzled condition. I am flash dancing.
I am a maniac. On the lore.
[00:46:53] Speaker A: All right, so first off, double damage. Let's do that. 1st 64. 64. Would you like to describe your kill of Lego lamb?
[00:47:04] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:47:05] Speaker D: She whips it around over her head. She slashes down once, she whips it around the other way. She slashes down twice, and then she whips it around three times, and she slashes straight down, cutting him in twain. It's her favorite.
[00:47:20] Speaker C: Hell, yeah. Clefting and twain.
[00:47:21] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[00:47:22] Speaker D: You gotta get the spit out twain.
[00:47:25] Speaker A: Okay, so that one's dead. Would you like to try and blind the other one? I guess.
[00:47:31] Speaker D: Sure.
[00:47:31] Speaker B: It has to make a fortitude save. Is that what it said?
[00:47:33] Speaker A: Yeah. Fortitude save. And what is your class?
[00:47:36] Speaker C: DC?
[00:47:37] Speaker A: Yes, 33. Is your class DC? I rolled a 30. That's a fail. The creature is blinded for 1 minute. For 1 minute. Oh, this poor, poor Golem. I had so much to live for.
[00:47:50] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:47:51] Speaker B: So we can take a two action interact action to remove the blind condition. However, it only gets one action per turn, so suck it, Golem.
[00:47:58] Speaker E: Was that blinded or just? If it succeeded and it was dazzled, it's blinded.
[00:48:01] Speaker B: If it crit fails, it's permanent. If it fails, it's a minute. If it succeeds, it's dazzled.
[00:48:05] Speaker E: Yeah, and I thought it was. The secondary could take two actions to resolve the dazzled condition but not the blinded condition.
[00:48:10] Speaker B: You're right. Absolutely. So it can't remove blindness no matter what.
[00:48:13] Speaker A: Well, it can't even do that.
Or golem, my beautiful baby boy. All right, it is now the top of round three. However, we're gonna end here, and we will pick it up here next week.
[00:48:30] Speaker C: Okay?
[00:48:31] Speaker B: This fight is going a lot smoother than I thought when I first saw it.
[00:48:37] Speaker E: I think we were really scared of the golems, and we should have been really scared of the dwarf.
[00:48:41] Speaker B: Well, I just feel like once we're all pounding on the dwarf, she's not gonna last long because it's just a plethora of actions, essentially phrasing.
[00:48:49] Speaker A: Are we still doing that?
[00:48:51] Speaker B: I said what I said.
[00:48:52] Speaker A: Don't talk about pounding your dwarf here. All right, bye bye, friends.
[00:48:57] Speaker G: Thank you for listening to the Crack Dye podcast. Please visit
[email protected]. Pathfinder, second edition and the age of Ash's adventure path are property of Paizo. Background Audio the audio was provided by sirenscape. Because Epic Games deserve epic music. Please visit
[email protected]. Additional background music was provided by Epidemic sound. Please visit
[email protected] the Cracked Eye podcast theme was composed by Angelo Dilau he is forever missed. This episode was edited by Nathan. Please visit them on Twitter.
Editingmate finally, thank you to all our patrons for assisting us in breathing life into this production. We do not know where we'd be without them. Our esteemed patrons Cassandra Connors d. Jacob Wilhelmi Doombeard, finder of Path and stars Logan Mike Minatillo, Anwarmusa Thomas Beard, Jason Leach, Margaret Torello, Shaka Jamal Bibati, Lee Jackson, Chris Simmons, Celine Turtle, Michael A. Hill, Duke, Kyle Nichols, J. Vance Seven Shawn Moore, Cameron Heenan, Corey Fellers, David Montgomery, Gregory Bleichner, and Len Cole. If you'd like to join our Patreon, please visit patreon.com. Crackdiepodcast.
