The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 17 - Oh You Beautiful Doll

Episode 17 December 26, 2019 00:59:09
The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 17 - Oh You Beautiful Doll
The Cracked Die Podcast
The Cracked Die Podcast - Episode 17 - Oh You Beautiful Doll

Dec 26 2019 | 00:59:09

/

Show Notes

When Dolls Attack! 

Game and Adventure Path by Paizo Publishing- www.paizo.com
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Episode Transcript

[00:00:40] Speaker A: Ho ho. And a Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrated Christmas yesterday. If instead you're currently celebrating Yule or Hanukkah or you're celebrating Kwan and now I hope those are going well for you as well. Before we get started today, I just wanted to explain a little bit about critical hits and critical misses. What they are, how they happen, and what the results are. So a critical success in game turns or a critical hit if you're attacking is a very good success. An above average result. Not only did you do it, you did it well. Critical failures, other side of the coin. Not only did you fail to do it, you fell on your face and your shoelaces got tied together and you fell down a cliff. It's bad. Bad things happen when you have a critical failure. Good things happen when you get a critical success. In Pathfinder Second Edition, there are two ways to get a critical success and two ways to get a critical failure. To get a critical success, you can either roll a natural 20 on that die, so that's 20 sided die. The numbers on there are one through 20, and if you happen to roll that 20, that's critical success. Alternatively, if your total whatever you roll on the die plus your modifier to that skill or attack is ten above the DC Difficulty class or AC Armor class of whatever you're trying to do or hit, that's also critical success. On the other side, critical failures happen when you roll a natural one on that 20 sided die, or if your total modified whatever you roll plus your skill modifier or attack modifier is ten below the target number, the DC Difficulty class or AC Armor class. If you roll that natural one or you roll ten below the number, bad things happen. So very short. Critical success, good things happen. Critical failure, bad things happen. It's a 5% chance either way on the one to the 20. And then with Second Edition, they've added in the plus or minus ten window there, and I think that makes it more likely that crits are going to occur either critical successes or failures. Anyway, that's enough from me. Please sit back, enjoy episode 17. Oh, you beautiful doll. [00:02:41] Speaker B: Welcome to the 17th episode of the Crack Die podcast. What? What? [00:02:46] Speaker C: Three more to 20? [00:02:48] Speaker B: There you go. [00:02:48] Speaker C: Get that. [00:02:50] Speaker B: And eight more to 25, which is then oh, my God. Okay, we're done with numbers. We do that's, right? [00:02:57] Speaker D: But if we get to 26, that is like half a year's worth of episodes. [00:03:02] Speaker B: Yeah, that's true. [00:03:02] Speaker E: We're not having except that we started with three. [00:03:04] Speaker C: We're not having this conversation. [00:03:08] Speaker F: All right, he's 26 till he's 27. [00:03:11] Speaker C: Okay. [00:03:13] Speaker B: All right, so let's jump right back into it. [00:03:18] Speaker A: Previously on The Cracked Die podcast, our. [00:03:22] Speaker B: Heroes met some mighty dragons. After negotiating with these dragons, our heroes continued to explore the Citadel as they entered another room they were met with the creepy sounds of children. Will our heroes find where the voices are coming from? Will they be able to defeat them? Will they ever find this mysterious gelatinous cube? Find out the answers to these questions and more on this episode of The Cracked Die podcast. When we last left Y'all god, silver's rubbing off on me with the Y'all. When we last left Y'all, two creepy voices saying, take me with you were coming out of the corners of this room that you had just walked in. [00:04:14] Speaker D: And I think we said no, and then that was the end of it, right? [00:04:17] Speaker B: Yes. You said no, that was the end of it. [00:04:18] Speaker E: I thought someone else was like, was it Temma? That was like, yeah, jump. My backpack. [00:04:21] Speaker C: We're cool. [00:04:22] Speaker D: I don't remember that forever. [00:04:23] Speaker C: I remember that. [00:04:24] Speaker B: Just to give you a description of the room again. A splintered table stretches across the center of this room, while broken chairs, moldy books, and general detritus litter the floor. Two bodies that appear to be froglike humanoids lie sprawled on the floor near the center of the room. On several of the doors that provide exits from this room, the ones to the west and southeast hang wide open. And you had just come from the room in the northeast? Northeast, yes. So you know what? Take me with you. Creepy dolls, creepy voices. Let's roll. [00:04:59] Speaker C: Initiative, I suppose. Going to use my extra fancy, brand new amethyst die, and hopefully it'll betray me right out. All right. 18. Not bad. [00:05:14] Speaker B: Seraya has an 18. [00:05:15] Speaker C: No, that is my roll. [00:05:17] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:05:17] Speaker D: I also rolled 18 on the die. [00:05:20] Speaker C: 22. [00:05:20] Speaker B: 22. Silver, what do you have? [00:05:24] Speaker G: 25. [00:05:25] Speaker B: 25. Pond watcher. [00:05:26] Speaker F: 17. [00:05:28] Speaker C: Brienna, 1919. [00:05:32] Speaker B: What was your role on your die? Pond watcher? [00:05:35] Speaker F: That was an eleven. [00:05:35] Speaker B: All right, nice and average. Nice. Temid? [00:05:39] Speaker D: 25. [00:05:40] Speaker B: 25. Do you or Silver want to go first? [00:05:43] Speaker G: He can go before me. [00:05:44] Speaker B: All right. And twin. [00:05:46] Speaker E: Eleven. [00:05:47] Speaker B: All right. Respectable. [00:05:50] Speaker D: Not really. [00:05:51] Speaker E: I rolled a three. Respectable. [00:05:53] Speaker C: Respectable. Yeah. [00:05:56] Speaker D: If I rolled a three, I'd get a ten. How's about that? [00:05:59] Speaker C: Not as respectable. [00:06:01] Speaker B: All right, temid, you get to go first. [00:06:05] Speaker D: All right. So is there a type of lore check that I can make? [00:06:10] Speaker B: Yes, there is. [00:06:12] Speaker D: What if I tried lore religion or religion check? [00:06:15] Speaker B: You would need lore arcana for crafting? [00:06:19] Speaker E: For architecture. [00:06:20] Speaker C: Oh, hey, maybe I'll check that out on my turn. [00:06:24] Speaker D: Wait, am I allowed to roll them? I forget. [00:06:27] Speaker B: As an action, yes, and if you're untrained, you still get to roll them. They're just an untrained action. [00:06:32] Speaker C: Yeah, you can recall. [00:06:33] Speaker D: All right, so I'll try arcana. Ten total. [00:06:38] Speaker B: You actually don't know anything about them. You don't know what these are? [00:06:43] Speaker D: I don't know what these are. [00:06:44] Speaker B: So your second action. [00:06:45] Speaker D: So my second action is what do they look like? They like little dolls, you said. Yes, they are physical in nature. [00:06:53] Speaker B: They're small dolls. They look like stuffed hell knights. [00:07:00] Speaker C: Oh, see, I was imagining like china dolls, right? [00:07:02] Speaker D: That's what I was thinking. [00:07:04] Speaker B: Like two little girls or something like straw coming out of the neck. And where the armor pieces that are cloth like felt armor on it. You just see pieces of it straggling. And they're walking at you with their hands out saying, take me with you. [00:07:20] Speaker F: Abominations training. Dummies. Again, my day has come. [00:07:26] Speaker C: We know Pond Watcher is really good against training. [00:07:29] Speaker E: Punch the silver out of them, buddy. [00:07:33] Speaker D: Do they appear to be hostile to us? [00:07:36] Speaker B: They're walking towards you. [00:07:38] Speaker D: Yes, but do they look like they have like perfect they're going to hurt us? [00:07:41] Speaker B: They're dolls. They don't really have great facial expressions. And they're in Hell Knight armor, so their faces are covered. So you see a stuffed Hell Knight shambling towards you. That is small. It's hard to get a read, really. [00:07:54] Speaker D: I guess what I'll do is I'm just going to tim is just going to walk straight up. Actually, he's adjacent to them already. [00:08:00] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:00] Speaker D: So he's just going to go ahead and take a swing with his rapier. [00:08:03] Speaker B: All right, second action, swinging at the rapier. [00:08:09] Speaker D: It's an eleven total. I'm sorry. [00:08:11] Speaker B: A twelve total miss. [00:08:12] Speaker D: Twelve is a miss. All right. [00:08:13] Speaker B: Critical miss. [00:08:16] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:08:17] Speaker G: Starting strong, 22 AC. [00:08:20] Speaker D: Did I say twelve? [00:08:21] Speaker B: At least 13, 1415 minimum. [00:08:24] Speaker F: So your critical failure vulnerable spot. The target is flat footed until healed. [00:08:31] Speaker D: Doesn't that is that the critic? [00:08:34] Speaker B: That's a crit success. [00:08:35] Speaker F: I don't know why you told me. [00:08:37] Speaker D: This is the sorry, I blame the GM. [00:08:41] Speaker F: I was going to say that's on. [00:08:43] Speaker C: It would be a melee failure, right? [00:08:45] Speaker E: Yes. Weapon tangle. You can't use this weapon to attack until the end of your next turn. The end of your next turn. [00:08:54] Speaker B: So what's your third action going to be? [00:08:57] Speaker C: Cry? [00:08:59] Speaker D: I don't have anything I can do with the third action. So he's just going to I mean. [00:09:03] Speaker B: You can move, you could dance, sing a little song. Oh, actually, no. [00:09:09] Speaker D: What he does with his get down tonight yeah, that's what he's going to do. He's going to get down tonight and cast shield. It's a single action. [00:09:16] Speaker E: Plus one AC. [00:09:17] Speaker B: All right. [00:09:17] Speaker D: Plus one AC. And it's considered also raised nice. [00:09:22] Speaker B: So next up is Silver. [00:09:24] Speaker G: All right, silver is going to first action do some barting inspiration. So you get a plus one to attack and damage. [00:09:30] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:09:31] Speaker G: So he will strum his guitar doing that. [00:09:33] Speaker E: See, Anwar, you should have let him go first. [00:09:35] Speaker B: Yes. [00:09:36] Speaker E: And you might not have crit failed. [00:09:38] Speaker D: Well, I hate everybody. [00:09:40] Speaker G: I'm not going to do so. [00:09:41] Speaker E: That's fair. [00:09:41] Speaker G: Bard, acknowledge these things. Bartic. We'll call Bartic lore 23. [00:09:48] Speaker B: Okay. You critically succeed, so you can tell. I'm going to let you ask me three questions. All right? First of all, these are soul bound dolls. Soul bound dolls that are elite. [00:10:03] Speaker C: Elite. [00:10:04] Speaker D: Elite soul bound dolls. [00:10:07] Speaker B: So the elite tag on creatures means they're basically the same as a regular soul bound doll, but they're a little bit stronger, so some of their stats get boosted. So, you know, these are a little bit stronger than what a normal soul bound doll would be. Okay. [00:10:25] Speaker C: Maybe that's why their AC is at least 22. [00:10:31] Speaker G: First of all, do they have any weaknesses? [00:10:34] Speaker B: They do not have any weaknesses. Okay. [00:10:38] Speaker G: Are they intelligent? [00:10:39] Speaker B: They have a ten intelligence. So a zero modifier. Yes. [00:10:44] Speaker G: And could someone reach or get in contact with or I don't know. Let me explain. How do I think could I reason with the soul inside them? [00:10:55] Speaker B: No. [00:10:56] Speaker G: Okay. [00:10:57] Speaker B: You would need to find the creator of it to reason with them. Okay. And I will let you know that because of how well you rolled, these are constructs. [00:11:07] Speaker G: Okay? All right, so Silver will in his it takes another action to tell everybody everything. [00:11:15] Speaker B: No, you can just yell that. [00:11:16] Speaker G: All right, so I'm going to shout. All right, y'all, these unfortunate souls are trapped inside these hideous doll things. You got to just destroy the doll. [00:11:26] Speaker E: Things to free them from this prison. [00:11:28] Speaker G: That's all I got to say. [00:11:30] Speaker B: All right, soraya I have a couple. [00:11:32] Speaker C: More questions, so I'm going to roll crafting, okay? Does 15 get me anything? [00:11:37] Speaker B: It gets you a success. So you can ask me one question. [00:11:40] Speaker C: Special attacks. [00:11:41] Speaker B: Special attacks. No special attacks, but they have innate cells. [00:11:47] Speaker C: They're magical, so be careful. I believe I have another alchemist fire that I made this morning. [00:11:54] Speaker B: Yes. [00:11:55] Speaker C: And just going to chuck that at someone. [00:11:57] Speaker B: Okay, which one? [00:11:59] Speaker C: There's one that's close to me, I think right behind me. All right. From my point of view, the northern side of the great 13 is a mist. [00:12:07] Speaker B: That is a definite miss. [00:12:08] Speaker C: Is it a crit? [00:12:09] Speaker B: No, it is not a crit, for. [00:12:10] Speaker C: Their AC is 22. [00:12:12] Speaker B: Good work, guys. You figured it out. [00:12:18] Speaker F: Hey. [00:12:21] Speaker C: And I just do want to clarify that is a piece of alchemy I made this morning, so that does last past the end of my turn. [00:12:27] Speaker B: Okay. You miss, so it still yeah, but you can control the splash, so I'm assuming you're going to splash. [00:12:36] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm going to splash him for one fire damage. [00:12:39] Speaker B: One fire damage. Correct. The doll closest to Temet goes goes home. No. Yeah, just leaves it moves up to you. Can you please make a fortitude saving. [00:12:57] Speaker D: Throw since you asked nicely? [00:13:02] Speaker C: Now, I'm not mitigating this, but I can see Sean's computer, and I was really afraid that was the spell they were going to have. [00:13:08] Speaker D: 19. I think 19 is good. I'm pretty happy with it. [00:13:12] Speaker B: Yes. You see its hand reach out to reach out temid and grabs the hem of the bottom end of his clothing, and you feel some energy start to drain out of you. [00:13:24] Speaker D: Wait, no, I rolled a 19. [00:13:26] Speaker B: Oh, no. I'm aware nothing happened. [00:13:28] Speaker D: It's a 19. It's a one and a nine. [00:13:31] Speaker B: So 19 is the total, right? [00:13:33] Speaker D: Yes. [00:13:34] Speaker B: Nothing happens, but you feel them trying to leech energy out of you. All right, second action. [00:13:41] Speaker D: Don't do that, little guy. [00:13:43] Speaker B: It starts to rise up off the floor. Fly as it starts to levitate. [00:13:49] Speaker E: No, they can fly. [00:13:50] Speaker G: They can? [00:13:50] Speaker D: No. Does anybody have fire? Does anybody have trying kill it with fire. [00:13:56] Speaker B: Lastly, it punches you in the face. It had to levitate to get to that height there. [00:14:03] Speaker C: It's only, like, two and a half feet tall. [00:14:06] Speaker D: Wait, how slowly did it levitate? Like, did I watch it slowly? [00:14:11] Speaker B: Would be the answer. [00:14:12] Speaker C: It took it under 6 seconds. If we're doing every action, it's 2 seconds. It took it 2 seconds. [00:14:17] Speaker D: So in my mind, it took five and a half seconds for it to. [00:14:20] Speaker B: You'Re, like, what's going on? Boom. [00:14:22] Speaker E: Well, his sword is tangled up in his belt, and he's still trying to pull it out, and he's, like, horrifiedly watching this thing raise up in front of him. [00:14:28] Speaker D: I'm actually gonna I can use with this shield spell, I can use my shield block. [00:14:32] Speaker B: Okay. [00:14:33] Speaker D: Reaction. [00:14:33] Speaker B: Reaction. So go ahead. So 26 to hit. [00:14:36] Speaker D: That is a hit. I have a 20 AC. [00:14:39] Speaker B: Okay. It does six damage. [00:14:48] Speaker D: No, it doesn't. [00:14:49] Speaker B: Okay. How much does it do to you as this small doll levitates and pops you in the nose? [00:14:57] Speaker D: So it has a hardness of five. [00:14:59] Speaker B: So you remove five damage. [00:15:01] Speaker E: Yeah. But then you can't use it for, like, an hour. [00:15:04] Speaker D: Right. The spell is gone now. [00:15:08] Speaker B: So you take one overall? [00:15:09] Speaker D: I do take one. [00:15:10] Speaker B: All right, Brianna, you just saw what looked like a felt doll. Just smash Temit in the face with a small, little fist. [00:15:21] Speaker C: So I have the feeling that my sister deity, the lady of the graves, would not like things that are soul bound, and as such, I will have to agree. And let's see if I can cast some fire. I want to see if I can cast fire. Ray at the one nearest who's in trouble. [00:15:42] Speaker B: Temad just got popped in the nose. [00:15:44] Speaker C: All right, Temad duck just, like, kind. [00:15:47] Speaker D: Of poked me in the nose. [00:15:49] Speaker C: I imagine it's got, like, the little weighted bees at the end, and it just kind of like wings an arm at you. Hold on, I'm trying to you all. [00:15:57] Speaker B: Wondered what happened to Beanie Babies. This is what happened to the Beanie Babies. [00:16:00] Speaker C: Oh, no. 19 for the spell. [00:16:05] Speaker B: Roll to hit. Luo versus their AC. [00:16:09] Speaker E: Yeah, I think everything's just versus AC. [00:16:11] Speaker B: Okay, then. [00:16:11] Speaker C: Yes. [00:16:12] Speaker B: So miss. [00:16:13] Speaker C: Okay. [00:16:13] Speaker B: A gout of flame washes towards it. Temid gets out of the way, and it just so does the doll because it's, like, pinching onto his nose. So when he moves, the whole thing moves. It's playing. [00:16:23] Speaker D: I got your nose again because it's. [00:16:25] Speaker B: Trying to rip your nose from your face. [00:16:28] Speaker D: It's got these weak little arms, and it's not doing. [00:16:30] Speaker C: Can I move towards Temid. Do I have enough movement? [00:16:34] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:16:35] Speaker C: Okay. [00:16:35] Speaker B: He's only like, 15ft away. 20ft away? [00:16:38] Speaker C: Yes. And that's as far as I can. [00:16:41] Speaker D: Do because sorry, which one of the ponds is yours? [00:16:45] Speaker B: She's the yellow one next to the green one. [00:16:47] Speaker C: To the right of the green one. [00:16:50] Speaker E: Right. She's on the opposite side of Silver. From you? Yes. [00:16:54] Speaker D: Oh, okay. Yeah. [00:16:55] Speaker B: Then she's easily to get there, the spell was how many actions? [00:17:01] Speaker C: Two, but at least I hope it'll look at me. [00:17:05] Speaker B: Next pond watcher. [00:17:07] Speaker F: Pond Watcher will run towards the southern one SurreyA. [00:17:12] Speaker B: Okay. [00:17:13] Speaker F: Base to base and say, I hate dummies and dolls of all sorts. And swing. [00:17:20] Speaker B: Alex, silver creep sword. [00:17:26] Speaker F: 19. [00:17:27] Speaker C: Hey, but still, though, like, he rolls. [00:17:31] Speaker B: Getting better. [00:17:31] Speaker C: Not as crowded. [00:17:34] Speaker F: I'm going to swing again. [00:17:36] Speaker D: All right. [00:17:37] Speaker F: 13. [00:17:38] Speaker B: Miss. [00:17:40] Speaker F: Done. [00:17:40] Speaker D: You're getting dangerously close. [00:17:42] Speaker F: I know. [00:17:42] Speaker B: All right, well, that doll in front of you starts to levitate as its first action and then bops, you in the nose. 21. That's a hit for six damage. [00:17:55] Speaker E: Ouch. [00:17:57] Speaker B: Then it does it again. Got to do math. 23. [00:18:05] Speaker F: That's a hit. [00:18:08] Speaker B: For eight damage. [00:18:10] Speaker F: Wow. [00:18:11] Speaker C: All right, we're not joking around. [00:18:14] Speaker B: No, they were not twin. [00:18:19] Speaker E: Okay, so Twin Talon is going to fire at the doll. [00:18:25] Speaker C: That's southern doll? [00:18:26] Speaker E: Yeah. The one that's attacking Temitance. The three of them are now in a line on that side of the room. While I am doing that, I'd like to admit that I was incorrectly calculating damage previously with this bow. I know. I was using the play test rules. That's the last time I think I looked at the magic item rules. I didn't realize they changed. It used to be that plus one gave you plus one attack and the damage or plus one die of damage. Now they have broken that into two different so this is more like Diablo esque, where there's just, like, rune slots in all the weapons. Okay, so there's, like, one that's for attack bonus, which is this one has a plus one, one for damage, and then one for other effects, like frost or fire or whatever. [00:19:11] Speaker B: Okay. [00:19:15] Speaker C: Plus one attack or the plus one damage. [00:19:17] Speaker E: Plus one attack. Okay, but I've been rolling one extra d six of damage for a long time, and I'm not sorry. [00:19:27] Speaker B: Nor should you be. [00:19:28] Speaker C: We'll fix it going forward. [00:19:29] Speaker E: It was an accident. All right, I think I'm going to throw this die out the window. Funny thing is, that window is still inside this building. Yeah, it's a 15 to hit. [00:19:40] Speaker B: That's a miss, but not critical. That's good, right? [00:19:44] Speaker E: Super. [00:19:46] Speaker B: Not everyone can say that, Timid. [00:19:48] Speaker E: Okay, so that's a natural 19. Okay, so that would normally be a 28. So minus 523, 23. [00:19:58] Speaker B: That's a hit. [00:20:00] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:20:01] Speaker D: Or no. [00:20:02] Speaker B: One over. [00:20:02] Speaker D: One over. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:03] Speaker F: Finally. [00:20:04] Speaker E: So you swing down and I do five damage. [00:20:10] Speaker B: All right, the doll is still there. [00:20:13] Speaker D: Can we see if it's taken? Did it seem like it actually took all that damage. [00:20:19] Speaker B: It looks that way. [00:20:22] Speaker E: Just an arrow sticking out of his yes. Straw filled, salt, little felty. [00:20:26] Speaker B: Yes. [00:20:27] Speaker C: Awesome stuffing. Like it's target practice. [00:20:34] Speaker D: Temit isn't really happy. [00:20:35] Speaker B: Did you add your plus one from Silver? [00:20:38] Speaker E: I did not. So it would be all one extra damage. It's been, like, 20 minutes since he went. [00:20:44] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. [00:20:45] Speaker E: Okay. I forgot. That's my bad. Okay. And my third action, because firing at them at this point is just asking to crit fail is going to be to I'm adjacent to the desk, so I'm going to search the desk sure. For anything that might be useful. [00:21:00] Speaker F: Doll killing manual. [00:21:02] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:21:02] Speaker C: Hey, you know, we might find one power word. [00:21:05] Speaker E: No dolls. I rolled a natural 18. Perception is plus six, so 24. [00:21:12] Speaker B: 24. So as you look in there, you see that there are some notes written f sharp. Yes, exactly. [00:21:24] Speaker C: B flat. [00:21:25] Speaker B: You see that the dolls were the property of one of the Hellmites here, and he's writing about how he made these constructs to help protect this office. But when they moved, his superior told him that he had to leave them. Okay, so that's why they are don't say doing this. [00:21:47] Speaker F: Punch my face in it. [00:21:49] Speaker E: Yeah, like what? 14 damage to you? [00:21:52] Speaker F: They said, Take me with you, and then they immediately started punching me to death. [00:21:55] Speaker E: To be fair, I blame Temid for attacking them. [00:21:58] Speaker B: Temid, you're up. [00:21:59] Speaker D: I'm going to attack them. [00:22:00] Speaker B: Okay. [00:22:02] Speaker C: Not with your rapier. [00:22:03] Speaker B: Yeah. God damn it. Thanks. [00:22:07] Speaker D: All right, so he's going to use a divine lance. [00:22:09] Speaker B: Okay. Your divine three headed lance. [00:22:14] Speaker D: I quit. It's over. Okay, divine lance. It's going to be 13. So that is not a crit. No. Thankfully. [00:22:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:27] Speaker D: So it just misses. He's trying to thread the needle. It's like, right in front of his face. [00:22:31] Speaker B: Right. [00:22:31] Speaker D: And he tries to shoot up this lance, but he just didn't want to shave his beard off. [00:22:38] Speaker B: Yeah. It splashes against the back wall, and Doll is still holding onto your nose. [00:22:45] Speaker D: Right. And then so he's going to spend the other action to cast Shield. [00:22:49] Speaker E: You can't oh, Kenneth, for ten minutes. [00:22:52] Speaker D: You're right. [00:22:53] Speaker B: Remember we talked about that? Yeah. Well, you know what? [00:22:56] Speaker D: I was trying to cheat while I caught you out, and that's going to be an no, you know what? He's going to take a note out of Pond Watcher's book, and he's going to try to punch this thing back. [00:23:11] Speaker B: Okay. Yes. [00:23:13] Speaker E: I'll move the critfield cards closer to you. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Hold on. [00:23:16] Speaker F: Let the rage flow through you. [00:23:18] Speaker C: Thanks, palpatine. [00:23:20] Speaker D: So I would like to have one of those crypto I rolled in. [00:23:26] Speaker F: A punching in this game is just a crypto Win. [00:23:29] Speaker E: Unarmed, you become wounded one, or your wounded value increases by one. [00:23:37] Speaker C: You try to pop the thing and you pop yourself in the nose. [00:23:41] Speaker B: So you go to swing and punch it because it's holding onto your nose, and it seizes, and it lets go and kind of, like, moves out of the way, and you just punch yourself straight square in the face. [00:23:52] Speaker C: Just got you with stop hitting yourself. Yes. [00:23:55] Speaker B: You hear? [00:23:56] Speaker C: Yes. [00:24:03] Speaker E: The name of that creep out was don't pick at it. [00:24:06] Speaker C: Oh, jeez. [00:24:07] Speaker D: Also, that laugh was longer than 6 seconds, so it just took its turn. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Silver. Silver, your turn. [00:24:13] Speaker G: All right. Silver is going to vardy inspiration. Everybody get for this run. The second action, he's going to walk over to Temad right here. [00:24:24] Speaker E: Temad's all the way on the opposite side of the room. [00:24:28] Speaker B: He's in the back corner. [00:24:29] Speaker C: He's one of the two yellows group together. [00:24:33] Speaker F: It's one of the hentai figures. [00:24:37] Speaker C: They're 3D printing supports. Okay. [00:24:42] Speaker B: You could just go into another room. There's a door. [00:24:46] Speaker E: There are two open doors. [00:24:49] Speaker G: That is true, but I'm going to even an old dog can learn tricks. [00:24:53] Speaker C: That being steak. [00:24:55] Speaker D: I think he's curious about these things, and he wants to learn more about these little dolls. [00:24:59] Speaker E: No, he critically succeeded on his knowledge check. He knows all there is to know about them. He's done with them now. [00:25:06] Speaker B: Please help me. [00:25:08] Speaker G: I'm trying. I'm really trying. How much movement would it be if I crossed over the it's difficult terrain. [00:25:14] Speaker B: Because it is like a shattered desk and debris. So it would be two things of. [00:25:18] Speaker E: Movement for each square. [00:25:19] Speaker B: For each square. [00:25:20] Speaker G: Five would get me right here. [00:25:21] Speaker B: Okay. [00:25:22] Speaker G: So that's right next to ten mod, I'm going to reach out and pop them on the shoulder and be like and say, our whole friend, you got this. And I'm going to cast true strike. [00:25:33] Speaker D: Oh, wow. [00:25:34] Speaker G: The next attack roll you make, you roll two D twenty and choose whichever result. [00:25:39] Speaker D: Thank you. [00:25:40] Speaker E: That is very different than it used to be. [00:25:41] Speaker B: Yes, it is. [00:25:42] Speaker D: Well, imagine giving a plus 20 right now. [00:25:46] Speaker E: That would be almost necessary, right? [00:25:48] Speaker G: But I think it makes more sense in this context. [00:25:51] Speaker B: Sareia, you're up. [00:25:52] Speaker C: So she's going to use some quick alchemy now because I think she's out of pre made alchemist fire, so she's gonna grab one off her bandolier, give it a solid shake until it starts to glow. [00:26:02] Speaker B: Are you throwing, like, flammable glow sticks at these things? [00:26:07] Speaker C: It's a physical whatever. I want it. That's true. [00:26:10] Speaker G: Rave party all. [00:26:14] Speaker C: That's a 19 on the die. I think it actually hit it because it's 25. [00:26:18] Speaker B: That's a hit. [00:26:20] Speaker C: Yeah. Sorry, I'm just double checking what my damage is. No, it's one D eight or lesser alchemist fire. One d eight. One persistent. Fire. And it's taken. It one splash, too. So it's five damage plus one persistent, plus one splash. [00:26:42] Speaker B: Plus one persistent, plus one splash. Got it. Correct. So it's six damage, plus one persistent, plus one persistent. All right. And that's the one that's the one. [00:26:51] Speaker C: Closest to me on the northern side of the room. [00:26:53] Speaker B: The one that's beating up pond watcher, right? [00:26:54] Speaker D: Yes. [00:26:55] Speaker B: All right. [00:26:56] Speaker C: Aren't you happy that I can control my splash damage? [00:26:58] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. I was just thinking that. That is so clutch for an alchemist yeah. [00:27:03] Speaker C: That you can decide. [00:27:05] Speaker B: Temid, the doll that is just beating the crap out of you is going. [00:27:11] Speaker D: To one point of damage to him. [00:27:13] Speaker B: But it's messed with you, your wounded one. [00:27:16] Speaker D: I did that to myself. It's not doing anything. [00:27:19] Speaker B: So it's going to punch you again. [00:27:20] Speaker C: For those of us who are not very remember really well, remind us what wounded one does. Do you take damage at Churn? [00:27:28] Speaker D: No. Wounded one. It's if I go unconscious, I will go down to dying two or dying one plus whatever my wounded number is. [00:27:40] Speaker B: Got it. Okay. [00:27:40] Speaker C: I think I was still thinking gloomhaven rules. [00:27:43] Speaker E: Oh, yes. Boomhaven. A great game that also is not sponsoring. [00:27:47] Speaker C: Yes. Sorry. [00:27:47] Speaker B: Who will have a new version coming out soon. [00:27:50] Speaker C: Yes. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Anyway. Yeah. Frost haven. It's the next expansion to it anyway. [00:27:57] Speaker E: Never going to get it done. [00:27:59] Speaker B: Does a 28 hit you? [00:28:01] Speaker D: Let me check. No. [00:28:06] Speaker B: Five damage. [00:28:09] Speaker F: If we get TPK by two dolls, that'll be a great end to podcast. [00:28:12] Speaker C: Right? [00:28:13] Speaker B: 21. [00:28:14] Speaker C: We tried. [00:28:14] Speaker E: And then the goblins come down to. [00:28:16] Speaker D: Find out what 21 also hits. Are you fucking serious? [00:28:18] Speaker B: Another eight. [00:28:20] Speaker D: Wait, so you did five and then eight? [00:28:22] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:23] Speaker D: So I was just thinking to myself as I was explaining this to you, I was like, oh, this wound isn't going to matter. I'm like at 23 hit points right now. Now I'm down to nine. Now I'm down to less than nine. In three, two, one. No, I'm talking so that I twelve. Disturb his math. That is to hit. Not a critical failure. [00:28:41] Speaker B: Okay. [00:28:42] Speaker D: Damn it. [00:28:43] Speaker B: So this thing comes with a left and a right. And this is now it's like levitating a little bit lower and it's like right in the gut. [00:28:51] Speaker D: No, actually, I pictured as Paraphrase, the rapper. Now kick punch. [00:28:57] Speaker B: Brianna, you're watching this doll like, just. [00:29:01] Speaker D: Give a gift over my paraphrase giving a boxing. Just want to make that clear. [00:29:05] Speaker B: I liked it. [00:29:07] Speaker E: I think people are giving you giggles because we understand it's supposed to be funny, but don't know what the fuck you're talking about. [00:29:13] Speaker F: If you want to test me, I'm sure you'll find Rich. [00:29:17] Speaker D: I love you. You're my best friend. [00:29:19] Speaker F: It's from Rapper. [00:29:22] Speaker B: This doll is Mike Tysoning. Temen right now, which is like hook, hook. Body shot, body shot. [00:29:30] Speaker C: Timid'S ear just fell on the ground. [00:29:33] Speaker B: Kevin's rocking and rolling and doesn't know where the next hit is coming. [00:29:37] Speaker C: I'm brienna can't help but, like, awkwardly smiles. Like, what the hell is happening? Okay, let's get this thing off of him. [00:29:45] Speaker B: Natural 20. [00:29:47] Speaker D: Yes. Do this. [00:29:49] Speaker B: AHA. [00:29:50] Speaker C: Four. A 28. [00:29:52] Speaker E: Well, can they be critical? [00:29:54] Speaker B: Yes, they hang on. [00:29:56] Speaker E: Constructs typically can. [00:29:58] Speaker B: There's a long list of things that can't be done. So let me just look here. [00:30:01] Speaker D: Real quick. [00:30:03] Speaker C: The very least. We did it. [00:30:05] Speaker B: It can be crit. Yeah. [00:30:08] Speaker D: Murder. This motherfucker. [00:30:12] Speaker B: 13. [00:30:13] Speaker E: She always gets the best crit. [00:30:14] Speaker F: So let's see what it is. From chops to groin, triple damage, crit effect. The target must succeed a fortitude save or die. [00:30:31] Speaker E: Our constructs are a lot of times immune to things that require fortitude saves. Like they used to be. [00:30:35] Speaker B: Immunities death effects. [00:30:37] Speaker E: Yes, but triple damage, triple damage might just kill it. [00:30:40] Speaker D: Yeah, definitely kill it outright. [00:30:43] Speaker G: But that was a Mcbex reference. [00:30:45] Speaker C: Yeah. So I rolled a six times 318. Thank you. My brain just short circuited a second. [00:30:55] Speaker E: Including the plus one from silver 19. No. [00:30:58] Speaker C: Before you multiply six damage to it. [00:31:00] Speaker E: 21. [00:31:01] Speaker C: 21. [00:31:02] Speaker E: 21. [00:31:03] Speaker B: All right, so you take your sword and you go from the chops to the groin and then back up to the head as this doll falls into two parts away from Tevin in twain. [00:31:15] Speaker D: And I mean, the precision that she needed to do that is incredible. Like, not even a single hair is disturbed on his beautiful face. [00:31:23] Speaker B: Well, it's slightly bruised right now. Still beautiful. That was your first action. [00:31:30] Speaker C: My first action. I feel like for my second action. [00:31:33] Speaker D: We'D be like, I'm the only other one in rain, so don't do anything that's wrong. [00:31:37] Speaker C: Brianna will turn to tamed and raise her weapon no. And we'll perform battle. [00:31:43] Speaker E: Oh, you're on a streak. You're on a streak, right? [00:31:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:47] Speaker C: I make it so you regain two DH. [00:31:53] Speaker B: Teman needs it, but Pond Watcher what's going to happen. [00:31:56] Speaker D: Also. So battle medicine. Does that count as treat wounds? For the sake of my yes. [00:32:04] Speaker B: We just talked about this. You still heal him. [00:32:05] Speaker E: He still needs oh, wait, one action. [00:32:07] Speaker D: It specifically says here, this does not remove the wounded condition. That's what I was really looking for. Yeah, no, but yeah, no, I certainly appreciate it. How many points are you? [00:32:16] Speaker C: Six. [00:32:16] Speaker B: Sweet. [00:32:17] Speaker D: Thank you. [00:32:17] Speaker B: And that's two actions to cast it. [00:32:20] Speaker D: It's not a spell. [00:32:21] Speaker E: It's just a single action. [00:32:23] Speaker B: You have one more action. [00:32:23] Speaker C: I basically take bandaids and just, like, slap them all over his face. [00:32:28] Speaker B: Okay. [00:32:28] Speaker C: And for my final action, I will cross the room to deal with the other one. The other one. [00:32:33] Speaker B: All right. Pond watcher. [00:32:34] Speaker E: Speed. 20. [00:32:35] Speaker C: Yes, it is 20. So as far as I can move. [00:32:38] Speaker B: Pond Watcher. [00:32:39] Speaker F: Pond watcher enters a rage. [00:32:42] Speaker C: Oh, my. [00:32:43] Speaker F: How dare you strike me? And he's going to swing like sword across tiny doll baby. Eleven. [00:32:57] Speaker B: That's a crit fail. [00:32:59] Speaker F: Thanks. [00:33:03] Speaker B: Weapon. [00:33:04] Speaker E: So it's called notched your weapon. Takes one d six damage. Ignoring hardness. [00:33:10] Speaker B: All right, next action. [00:33:11] Speaker C: More things for me to fix later. [00:33:12] Speaker F: I suppose so. I don't know how to calculate that. Do you want to roll the damage or should I? [00:33:19] Speaker B: You roll it. [00:33:21] Speaker E: Two. [00:33:23] Speaker F: I don't know how many hit points. [00:33:24] Speaker B: It's more than that. So yeah, it's not broken yet. [00:33:27] Speaker E: I can't imagine. Your great sword has four. [00:33:29] Speaker B: Hit points. [00:33:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:30] Speaker B: The next action, you're going to swing again. Swing again. All right, what's the worst that happens? [00:33:34] Speaker C: You could do it. [00:33:35] Speaker D: Who cares? [00:33:39] Speaker C: It's a four. [00:33:41] Speaker F: That's a seven. [00:33:43] Speaker B: That's a crit fail. [00:33:45] Speaker E: Clipped your hand. You take one d eight. Persistent bleed damage. [00:33:50] Speaker B: Oh, that one. [00:33:53] Speaker F: Great. [00:33:54] Speaker E: So you're taking, I guess, at the beginning of your turn. Every turn. [00:33:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Last action. [00:34:00] Speaker F: No, I raged. [00:34:01] Speaker B: Okay, well, the doll in front of you is now going to reach out and touch you. [00:34:08] Speaker F: Put me out of my misery. [00:34:12] Speaker B: Give me a fort save, please. [00:34:15] Speaker F: It's a natural one for a nine. [00:34:21] Speaker E: Failing saving throws is real bad. [00:34:23] Speaker F: Yes. [00:34:24] Speaker B: So you lose twelve hit points. [00:34:29] Speaker E: You can't be conscious. [00:34:31] Speaker F: I'm good. [00:34:32] Speaker E: You're good? [00:34:33] Speaker C: Okay. [00:34:34] Speaker F: I had temporary hit points from raging. [00:34:35] Speaker E: Oh, good. [00:34:37] Speaker B: It also took one from Brianna's. Fire. From Soraya's. [00:34:41] Speaker C: Fire. Yes. [00:34:42] Speaker D: So I kind of feel like it's reaching out and touching and, like, sapping the life force out of him. [00:34:46] Speaker B: And you see the holes and the burns that were on this doll knit back together. [00:34:54] Speaker C: I see. [00:34:55] Speaker D: I don't like this thing. [00:34:56] Speaker B: Second action. It's going to punch you. It is? [00:35:01] Speaker C: It spell. Only one action? [00:35:02] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:03] Speaker C: Okay. [00:35:04] Speaker B: Twelve miss. Critical. [00:35:07] Speaker E: No. [00:35:07] Speaker B: Okay, then it's going to try and punch you again. 15 miss. All right, so swing, swing, twin. [00:35:16] Speaker E: Well, I'm still with a bow and in a room, so I will shoot. [00:35:19] Speaker B: The all right, well, there are people in front of it, so it's going to get a little bit of an AC bonus. [00:35:24] Speaker E: I mean, I'm almost guaranteed to shoot them instead, but that's fine. These things so high. [00:35:29] Speaker B: Yeah. Just do what Brianna did. [00:35:33] Speaker E: Oh, okay. [00:35:34] Speaker C: Just no pressure. [00:35:34] Speaker B: Just crit. [00:35:35] Speaker E: Just yell 20 and then it's not a 20. [00:35:40] Speaker C: Okay, just yell 20 anyway. [00:35:42] Speaker B: 20. [00:35:47] Speaker E: It's a 16, which is a miss, but it's a crit. [00:35:49] Speaker B: Not crit. Miss. [00:35:50] Speaker E: I will fire a second time. Okay, miss, but not crit. Miss. [00:35:54] Speaker B: Well, it has a bonus right now. So what's the total? [00:35:57] Speaker E: 15. [00:35:59] Speaker B: Not a crit. [00:36:00] Speaker E: Good. And I will not take the third action again. [00:36:04] Speaker D: All right. [00:36:05] Speaker E: I don't know what else to do. I feel like I've got three actions, but firing again is worse than doing nothing. [00:36:11] Speaker B: Kill me. [00:36:12] Speaker D: Maybe you might want to reposition yourself or something. [00:36:14] Speaker B: Yeah, you could move. [00:36:16] Speaker E: You could explore the room. I don't want to explore the room. [00:36:19] Speaker B: You could open another door. You could go through one of the open doors. [00:36:22] Speaker D: Yeah, you would need two axes to open the door because you guys got to move up to one, and then. [00:36:26] Speaker E: Two of them are open. [00:36:27] Speaker B: Yeah, two of them are already open. You just run through a door. [00:36:30] Speaker F: Go find my backup character. [00:36:34] Speaker E: Okay, so I guess I will move around the table. Okay, so I'll end up adjacent to Sareia there. Yep. All right, we're now in a line in the corner. [00:36:48] Speaker B: Yes. It is your turn. Really? Yes. [00:36:51] Speaker D: All right, so he moves up to this little motherfucker. [00:36:55] Speaker E: What's your speed? [00:36:56] Speaker D: 25. So I'm going to have to take two move actions to get to him. [00:37:00] Speaker E: Okay, you don't have medium armor on your light armor. [00:37:02] Speaker D: I have light armor, correct. [00:37:03] Speaker B: Oh, cool. [00:37:05] Speaker C: You can use your ape again. [00:37:06] Speaker D: Yeah, I can use it now. So as he runs, he kind of untangles it from his cape, which is probably what happened to him. He gets on the other side of this. Yeah. So that's two actions. Two move actions and then he's going to strike and with what is it? What is it called? True strike. [00:37:25] Speaker E: True sights. [00:37:26] Speaker D: True strikes. [00:37:27] Speaker E: What's the likelihood of rolling two natural ones? 1400. [00:37:31] Speaker D: Yes. And you're an asshole. [00:37:32] Speaker E: I'm just asking. [00:37:36] Speaker D: All right, so it is a 2026. [00:37:42] Speaker B: That is a hit. [00:37:42] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:37:43] Speaker C: Good job. [00:37:44] Speaker D: I'm sorry. 24. [00:37:45] Speaker E: Good job, Silver. [00:37:47] Speaker B: Still hit it. Still clip it. [00:37:49] Speaker D: All right, max damage. Eight damage. [00:37:52] Speaker G: Do you add the plus one? I did. [00:37:54] Speaker D: He runs up, he untangles it, he gets around everybody, and then he like, get off of Pond, logical stabs that thing in its side, recreates the hole that it took from pond logic. [00:38:07] Speaker B: Yes. Nice, Silver. [00:38:09] Speaker G: Okay, I'm going to go through another roof. I'll wait till we kill this thing. I'm going to cast watcher. [00:38:20] Speaker F: Hey. [00:38:21] Speaker B: Right, so each willing target, pond watcher, are you willing? I am. Okay. [00:38:27] Speaker G: You get. [00:38:31] Speaker B: Pretty good stuff. [00:38:33] Speaker G: You get twelve hit points back. [00:38:34] Speaker F: Wow, nice. [00:38:38] Speaker G: And then my second action, I'm going to cast Bardic inspiration. [00:38:41] Speaker B: Okay. [00:38:41] Speaker G: And then my third action, I am going to, for some reason, a little. [00:38:49] Speaker E: Wary of stuff happening. [00:38:51] Speaker B: I'm just going to step back. Okay, soraya everybody's plumped here. [00:38:57] Speaker C: I'll just step back. [00:39:00] Speaker D: Let's just throw a fireball right in there. [00:39:02] Speaker C: She's going to do one more little alchemy trick. [00:39:05] Speaker B: All right. [00:39:10] Speaker C: 25 hit. Nice. This is going to be more fire, little sucker. That is six fire, one splash, one persistent. [00:39:24] Speaker E: Nice. [00:39:25] Speaker C: All right, Brianna, seeing that Pond watcher is in no imminent danger of collapsing, she's going to attempt what she did on the other side of the room. [00:39:38] Speaker B: Get ready for another crit. No. What was the total? [00:39:43] Speaker C: 14. [00:39:44] Speaker B: You're good. [00:39:45] Speaker C: Okay, I'll just try it again. [00:39:47] Speaker B: All right. What's the worst that happened? [00:39:49] Speaker C: Yeah. Nothing bad could ever come from this, right? Same thing. [00:39:53] Speaker B: All right, 14 or total 14. [00:39:57] Speaker C: Yes. [00:39:57] Speaker B: Okay. [00:39:59] Speaker C: Why not? Why not? I'm going to. [00:40:04] Speaker B: Matt, why are you grabbing that crypt sale card already? [00:40:06] Speaker C: Grab it. Okay. [00:40:08] Speaker E: Who was that? You are slowed one until the end of your next turn. Slowed, I believe means you lose that many actions. [00:40:17] Speaker B: Yes. So you lose one action, so you only get two. Next turn, pond watcher. [00:40:21] Speaker F: All right, I've had enough of you, you little doll. There's no way this isn't going to work. He raises his sword above his head and he swings down. I'm so nervous. Why don't you use the big 116? [00:40:42] Speaker B: It's just a miss. [00:40:44] Speaker F: I'm going to keep rolling until I hit it. I haven't hit it yet. [00:40:47] Speaker B: Okay, do you want to try to. [00:40:49] Speaker C: Do your everybody rage at once thing? [00:40:51] Speaker F: No. [00:40:52] Speaker D: Everybody move all the sharp objects away from rage, please. [00:40:56] Speaker F: 18 total. [00:40:58] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a miss. I know, but, hey, it's not a crit. [00:41:02] Speaker F: Last action. [00:41:03] Speaker B: Okay. [00:41:04] Speaker D: Don't do it. [00:41:05] Speaker B: Do it. [00:41:05] Speaker D: Don't do do it. [00:41:06] Speaker F: It do it. I am going to roll an intimidation check okay. Using intimidating glare. [00:41:14] Speaker B: Okay. [00:41:16] Speaker F: Nine. [00:41:17] Speaker B: No. All right, well, the fire why would. [00:41:21] Speaker F: It be intimidated for me? I'm terrible. [00:41:23] Speaker B: The fire on the doll burns it a little bit more. [00:41:26] Speaker C: That's too persistent, though. [00:41:27] Speaker B: Does it? Yes, it does Rich have persistent damage? [00:41:31] Speaker F: Oh, yeah. [00:41:32] Speaker E: No, he got healed. Yes. It doesn't say until healed, but I'm pretty sure that's just standard. [00:41:38] Speaker B: Yes. The doll looks at pond watcher, judging it as no threat, turns to Brienna and swings at her. [00:41:48] Speaker E: Wow. [00:41:51] Speaker B: So natural. 20. So that's a 30. [00:41:55] Speaker C: Yes. [00:41:57] Speaker F: Does it get in a crit? [00:41:58] Speaker B: No, it's not naked. [00:41:59] Speaker C: It's not named. [00:42:00] Speaker E: This is double damage. [00:42:01] Speaker B: Double damage. So eight damage. [00:42:03] Speaker C: All right, I'll take it. I'll take it. I don't think I said I raised my shield anyway. [00:42:08] Speaker B: Eleven miss. [00:42:12] Speaker D: Things are absurd. [00:42:14] Speaker B: Oh, no, it's a natural one. Critical miss. [00:42:19] Speaker E: Did they get a critical card? [00:42:20] Speaker B: No, they're not named. [00:42:22] Speaker E: Boo. [00:42:22] Speaker C: I know what happens, though. [00:42:24] Speaker D: I named it Timmy. [00:42:25] Speaker C: Yes. [00:42:26] Speaker B: No, it just misses completely and dies. Twin talon, you're up. [00:42:32] Speaker E: Okay, well, my clear shot is now taken up by Sammy's head, but that will not stop me from shooting this doll around him, hopefully curve the bullet. [00:42:43] Speaker D: Keep in mind, I'm still wounded one. [00:42:45] Speaker B: You twist the bow as you shoot, like wanted. [00:42:51] Speaker E: 18. So that's a miss. [00:42:53] Speaker B: Just a myth. [00:42:53] Speaker E: Fire again. Much better on the die. But I think my bonus is not too low with the COVID But it's 21. [00:43:03] Speaker B: Just missed. [00:43:04] Speaker E: Yeah, it doesn't I have a plus nine, so the second attack is a plus four. I have to roll an 18. [00:43:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:10] Speaker E: These things are no joke without tempting the wire. [00:43:12] Speaker F: So is it like bobbing and weaving? [00:43:14] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it's levitating. So it's like levitating. You know in Mario when you levitate how it just automatically goes up and down? That's what this doll is doing. [00:43:23] Speaker F: I hate it so much. [00:43:24] Speaker B: I know. [00:43:24] Speaker E: Is there another spot where I can get to it, or is it just everybody's crowded around? [00:43:29] Speaker B: I think everyone's crowded. [00:43:30] Speaker E: That's what I figured. Okay, then I will take my third action to despair. [00:43:36] Speaker B: All right. Okay. Despaired. Temid, you're up again. [00:43:40] Speaker D: Okay, so he attacks. I mean, that's really all that there's. [00:43:45] Speaker B: Lots of stuffing that has fallen out of this doll, right? [00:43:49] Speaker D: Yeah. It looks to be in bad shape. So he's going to take his first action to swing at it, and he gets a 23 hit. [00:44:00] Speaker C: Nice. [00:44:01] Speaker D: And he does six points of damage to it. So he thrusts at it again and hoping to kind of, like, take out the midsection and create a rift in this thing. [00:44:10] Speaker B: You stab forward with your rapier and you impale it and you keep going and going. And then your hand goes all the way up to the body of the doll, and it just kind of like, slumps down unconscious. Yes. [00:44:23] Speaker C: On your blade. [00:44:24] Speaker D: I killed it. [00:44:26] Speaker C: I'm going to make a comeback. [00:44:27] Speaker D: Take that, you old bitch. [00:44:29] Speaker E: Don't call it a comeback. [00:44:32] Speaker B: It rises up. No, I'm kidding. No. [00:44:35] Speaker D: Okay, so does that mean we're out of combat? [00:44:37] Speaker B: We are out of combat. We're back into exploration mode. [00:44:40] Speaker D: Where are you at in terms of hit points? Pond watcher. [00:44:43] Speaker F: Thanks to Silver, I'm back up to 24. [00:44:45] Speaker D: Okay, so you're good. [00:44:48] Speaker F: Pond Watcher is furious, though, and he's just kicking the corpse over and over and over and over. [00:44:54] Speaker B: You kick the stuffing out of it. [00:44:56] Speaker E: Twin Talon's going to go back to the desk and see if there's anything of value or use other than in the notes as to this guy's sad account of leaving behind his prized dolls. [00:45:05] Speaker G: I want to try to trigger wounds on. [00:45:07] Speaker B: All right, so let's go around. So you're going to look at the desk. What is Temid doing? [00:45:11] Speaker D: Temid is also just inspecting the room. [00:45:15] Speaker B: Okay. Brianna. [00:45:17] Speaker C: Brianna is going to go to Pond Watcher and put a gentle hand on his shoulder and say, you need to remember to believe in yourself. [00:45:29] Speaker F: Pond Watcher, he just has crazed look in his eyes. [00:45:33] Speaker B: I figure silver. [00:45:36] Speaker G: Silver is going to be sort of following Timid around, trying to treat his wounds. [00:45:40] Speaker C: Okay, I need you to stand still. Hold on. Sareia is definitely helping Twin Talon look at the desk and definitely not watching Brienna and Bond watcher. [00:45:54] Speaker B: Okay, so those of you looking at the desk, please go ahead and roll me a perception. Temid also give me a perception for the room. [00:46:03] Speaker C: Can I roll one at, like, negative five because she's doing it but not paying attention? [00:46:07] Speaker B: Sure you can. Give yourself a negative look. Anyone doing healing, go ahead and roll your treat wounds. [00:46:21] Speaker F: Sorry, I was just testing my diet, and I just rolled two natural ones in a row. [00:46:25] Speaker C: We need to stage you. Okay, so no, for real. My dice are amethyst. They start rolling bad for me, I'm throwing them under a full moon. [00:46:35] Speaker B: All right, what did you guys get exploring the room? [00:46:38] Speaker E: I got an 18 searching the desk. [00:46:40] Speaker B: Okay, 2020. What did you get for treating wounds, Silver? [00:46:44] Speaker G: I succeeded. [00:46:45] Speaker B: All right? So go ahead and roll. Your healing on temid. [00:46:51] Speaker D: Treat wounds is. [00:46:53] Speaker B: So there's nothing else of value in the desk. More generic notes. But you find a ripped piece of paper in there, and it looks like the rest of the layout of the building. And you find that to the south of where you are are the crypts of the Hell Knights. [00:47:15] Speaker E: Okay. I mean, having searched everywhere else. Kind of figured that, but it's good to have confirmation. Is there anything else note wise? [00:47:24] Speaker B: No, that's actually yes. I'm sorry. You see that there are three areas where there are burials. You know, one is the general hellnight burial area. There is a sepulcher yes, that of important four important figures that were buried with magical items. You also find there is something written in demonic. [00:47:55] Speaker C: Oh, that makes sense, actually. [00:47:56] Speaker B: Do you read demonic? Do you understand it? [00:47:59] Speaker E: I would have to check my sheet. I believe I do. [00:48:01] Speaker B: Okay, if you do, I'll let you know what it says. If not, you won't. Temid as you search around the room. [00:48:08] Speaker E: And you're being like, it's in demonic, not infernal. [00:48:12] Speaker B: I'm sorry. Infernal. It's in. Infernal. [00:48:14] Speaker E: Okay, infernal. I speak. [00:48:15] Speaker B: Okay, cool. So you know that there are wards on the bodies of all Hell Knights buried here that would prevent them from being raised as undead. However, there is another ward on all the bodies that if someone does try to raise them from as undead, a few select volunteer Hell Knights have offered themselves up to become an undead security system, essentially. So if someone tries to use necromancy to raise undead helmites, these helmites will rise and fight against that creature. [00:48:57] Speaker E: Okay. And it's interesting that I think someone that we talked to said they heard bones rattling in the crypt area. So as he's looking through, twin talon will kind of look around at the assembled group, and he'll be um I think we're going to have issues with the crypts. From what we heard, someone I forget who, but they said there were bones. I think it was the cobalt said that there were bones rattling this way. The Hell Knights actually have runes on them to protect them from being raised from the dead. But if someone were to try, there are certain Hell Knights which would rise up to stop them. I'm worried we're going to run into those guardians when we go that way. [00:49:36] Speaker C: It is my oath to put any undead to rest. [00:49:39] Speaker E: That's good, because we're going to need that. [00:49:42] Speaker B: Temid as you search around the room, you kind of stumble over the Boggard bodies, and you see that those bodies have each body has an obsidian figure that looks like a Hell Knight. It's in the shape of a Hell Knight. And as you continue searching the rest of the room, you find that there are six more. These figures are made out of obsidian, and they're probably worth about 20 gold for all of them if you sold them. [00:50:12] Speaker E: There's eight of them total? [00:50:13] Speaker B: Yes. [00:50:14] Speaker E: I wonder if that's significant. [00:50:15] Speaker C: Well, how many I guess we'll have to count how many crafting and see if they have anything to do with the dolls. [00:50:21] Speaker B: Sure. [00:50:23] Speaker C: 25. [00:50:24] Speaker B: You don't think they're related at all. You actually see a shelf that's been broken, and you assume that they were there. They kind of look like prominent hell knights. Like, each piece of armor has a little symbol scratched into it to represent their position in the Order. [00:50:42] Speaker C: I just wanted to make sure that those two weren't, like, tokens that activated the dolls. Right. [00:50:47] Speaker G: All right. I've been following, timid has been searching around Flustered, and I say, after all this, I rolled Max, so you get 16 back. But I probably say, like, I swear, Timid, you wouldn't be able to find your ass if your hands were in your pockets. [00:51:09] Speaker E: First of all, your hands in your pockets aren't near your ass. [00:51:12] Speaker G: My back pocket. [00:51:15] Speaker D: What did I do to you? All right, we got to get a drink together, buddy. [00:51:21] Speaker B: So, you guys finished searching this room? So there is a room to the east that you haven't explored, like south southeast. Or you've explored everything else in this room. Or you could head back. So you went through the bottom two rooms first and checked those out. [00:51:39] Speaker C: Right. [00:51:39] Speaker B: Then you continued up to the cobalt. And now there's only one room left because remember, you found that dried ooze stuff on the door frames? [00:51:54] Speaker E: We saw it up here. Yes, where we first came in. We don't think we've seen it since. [00:51:58] Speaker D: Correct. [00:51:58] Speaker E: Which is weird because these are all five foot doors. [00:52:01] Speaker G: That's an ominous thing for a GM to say. [00:52:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:05] Speaker F: I hope we find it and it consumes me. [00:52:09] Speaker C: You will. [00:52:10] Speaker B: He sticks his head in there and. [00:52:12] Speaker D: Just kind of lets it sit. [00:52:15] Speaker F: Once inside, I will probably still not be able to stab it with a sword. [00:52:19] Speaker C: I don't think you want to stab. [00:52:20] Speaker G: It until I are you good on healing, Anwar? [00:52:24] Speaker D: I'm at 15 hit points. Out of 26. [00:52:27] Speaker F: You were down to one hit points. [00:52:29] Speaker D: What was that? [00:52:29] Speaker G: I gave you 16. [00:52:32] Speaker D: I'm sorry. You know what? We never resolved whether or not I mean, what the number was. You told me we succeeded. [00:52:36] Speaker F: He said it. [00:52:37] Speaker G: I said, Max, let me imagine. [00:52:41] Speaker C: You couldn't find your butt if your hands were in your pockets. [00:52:45] Speaker B: All right, so where are you all headed? [00:52:46] Speaker E: I guess the one room that we haven't explored. [00:52:49] Speaker D: I guess I'm going to go make a perception check for my butt. [00:52:54] Speaker B: Who's leading their way to the doorway? [00:52:57] Speaker E: I will. Do you want to open the door? [00:53:00] Speaker C: Okay. [00:53:01] Speaker B: All right. [00:53:01] Speaker E: And just look for anything dangerous before people who are better armored than me. [00:53:07] Speaker C: Going sure, I'll be at your shoulder. [00:53:08] Speaker B: All right, give me what is your perception bonus plus six? All right, you open the door, and as you open it, your hand feels something sticky. [00:53:24] Speaker E: I immediately pull back. [00:53:26] Speaker B: It's on the door handle. As you look at it, you see ooze starting to drip down between your fingers. [00:53:35] Speaker E: I wipe it off on the dead boggards. [00:53:38] Speaker C: What's the matter? [00:53:40] Speaker E: There's goop on this door handle. And it might be that the Gelatinous cube is in that room. [00:53:48] Speaker F: Twin Talon. What are you doing over there? Keep it in your pants. [00:53:58] Speaker E: Anyway, I couldn't help it. I'm not sure if anything else is in there of value, but there's almost certainly a gelatinous cube because we didn't see its residue on any of the side passages. [00:54:09] Speaker C: Do we want to use the Trinket of Magehen to open the door from a distance? [00:54:13] Speaker E: Well, I think I opened the door. [00:54:15] Speaker B: The door is open. Yeah. [00:54:16] Speaker E: Okay. [00:54:17] Speaker D: So I'd like to actually take a second to maybe do a lord. Did we do any lord check on. [00:54:23] Speaker B: The we did gelatinous cube. [00:54:24] Speaker D: Okay, never mind. [00:54:26] Speaker C: Can we recap what we learned? Because I don't remember. [00:54:30] Speaker B: It's probably a gelatinous cube that's been trying to squeeze and eat things, and that's about it. You guys didn't really get any information about gelatinous cubes themselves. [00:54:40] Speaker F: I'm going to throw a Javelin through the open doorway straight into the room. [00:54:46] Speaker B: Okay. [00:54:46] Speaker E: It's a good shot. [00:54:47] Speaker B: So you throw the javelin. Give me an attack roll. [00:54:51] Speaker F: Oh, God. I cleared some room. [00:54:54] Speaker D: I mean, in first edition, their AC. [00:54:57] Speaker E: Was, like, five, but the Javelin will hang in the air if it does. [00:55:03] Speaker F: 21. Now that there's no enemies, a 21. [00:55:07] Speaker B: It passes to the wall and sticks in the wall, making that classic noise. [00:55:15] Speaker F: Well, it's not here. It's definitely not here now, so everyone's safe. [00:55:20] Speaker B: So you went straight through the door frame, right? [00:55:22] Speaker F: Yeah, I'm just standing on the other side of the door. [00:55:26] Speaker B: So it's not directly not directly in the path in the door. [00:55:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:32] Speaker B: Okay. [00:55:33] Speaker D: Well, all right, so Talent's going to. [00:55:35] Speaker E: Have his bow, and he's like Pond Watcher or Brianna. If you guys want to go first, I will cover you. [00:55:41] Speaker C: I'll do it. [00:55:42] Speaker D: I suppose I've got an that. So, you know, why don't we walk into the room in the same line that Pond Watcher threw the Javelin, and then each of us use our ranged weapons and shoot them out in various directions. And if something hits, we know that's where the gelatinous cube is, and we run away. [00:56:03] Speaker C: Or it couldn't drop from the ceiling. Did you find your butt? [00:56:09] Speaker B: Like, a drop. [00:56:11] Speaker D: Did I find my bat? [00:56:12] Speaker B: Sure. [00:56:13] Speaker C: That's what I said. [00:56:14] Speaker D: Oh, yes, I found my butt. It was right here. [00:56:18] Speaker C: Oh, thanks for showing me. I suppose. [00:56:21] Speaker B: Oh, boy. [00:56:22] Speaker C: I don't know if he needs to have more or less drink. I don't know. [00:56:25] Speaker D: I haven't had a drink in 3 hours. [00:56:27] Speaker C: More drink, more drink. [00:56:28] Speaker F: There's probably nothing but papers in this room anyway. [00:56:31] Speaker C: We all know how much we hate. [00:56:33] Speaker D: From right, silver, let's just go. [00:56:36] Speaker F: Come on. Somebody go in there. [00:56:37] Speaker C: But is there a desk? [00:56:38] Speaker D: Are you volunteering? [00:56:39] Speaker C: I'll go. Yes, it's fine. Let's go. [00:56:41] Speaker B: Toppled armored racks are scattered throughout this wide room, as well as anvils hammers, tool sets, and other supplies that were once used to repair Hell Knight's iconic armor. [00:56:53] Speaker C: Brianna's eyes immediately light up. This is the automotive? Yes, but don't go running to the. [00:56:59] Speaker B: Northeast behind some rubble you hear some shuffling schlorping as a gelatinous cube oozes its way forward. [00:57:10] Speaker F: Oh, my God. What's that? [00:57:11] Speaker B: And out. And we'll deal with that later. [00:57:14] Speaker C: Wait, what? [00:57:15] Speaker B: No, don't do that. Will our heroes fall prey to the gelatinous cube? Will Podwater ever land another hit? Will Tamed ever be able to look at Doll again? Find out the answers to these questions and more on the next episode of The Cracked Die podcast. [00:57:43] Speaker H: Are you looking for a getaway that is not your normal outing? Are you tired of the hustle and bustle of major cities? Welcome to Calum's caravans. We specialize in exotic trips for you and your friends. We have just recently opened travel to the Mwangi expanse. Visit lovely port city of Bloodcove and meet the pirates that call it home. Or perhaps you're a bit more dairy and want to travel to find the gorilla cave. But beware is bloodthirsty apes in churica. We here at Kalen's Caravans have all types of trips we offer. Come on by and we can get you the trip of a lifetime. [00:58:30] Speaker C: You. [00:58:31] Speaker E: Thank you for listening to the Cracked Die podcast. Background audio provided by Tabletop Audio original ten minute ambiances and music for your games and stories. Pathfinder second edition and the age of Ashes at Adventure Path are both copyright Pizzo publishing, as are any visuals from that adventure path. You can find them and find out [email protected].

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