[00:00:38] Speaker A: Welcome to the Hundred and second episode of the Cracked Die podcast.
[00:00:44] Speaker B: Hooray.
[00:00:47] Speaker C: Wow, that was. That was short lived enthusiast.
[00:00:49] Speaker A: Yes, that was it.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: It's after lunch we're all sunning ourselves on our rocks, you know, as you do.
[00:00:59] Speaker D: I don't know about you, but I'm a cat in a windowsill, so.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: Yeah, well, you know. So.
[00:01:10] Speaker D: Apparently Shawn is broken. Yep, apparently Shawn is broken.
[00:01:15] Speaker C: I guess that was it. One of two guys. We had a good run.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: No banter this time straight into.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: No, we did a half hour banter.
[00:01:26] Speaker A: We did do a lot of banter. Let's. Let's jump into.
Previously on you guys very heroically helped out all of the prisoners from the genie smile. You were told of an old man approached you and told you about some gear he used to have. That is a family heirloom that he wants to see used in battle again and has offered it to you. However, you guys haven't gotten to get it yet, but you have gone to the nine shield smokehouse. When you got there, Brianna and twin Talon snuck around the corner and saw that there were a bunch of scarlet triad members breaking into buildings, destroying things. Ye olde time graffiti on the buildings.
There was a blood bore. There was a female dwarf kind of leading the group. And I never gave you their description, so let me give you that now. A bandy legged scarlet triad dwarven member leads the patrol. There is a gentleman on the top of the building in the middle who looked at twin Talon, winked, then gave a whistle of like, come here to like animals. And then did a cat call whistle to twin talent.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: How does a person with an eye patch wink the other eye, right? But it just looks like a blink, right? Like how would I know?
[00:02:57] Speaker D: This is a really cheeky blink.
[00:02:58] Speaker A: You could tell. You could tell from the face he made. So obviously this gentleman on the top of the smokehouse could see twin Talon but not Brianna. Saraya and knife sword were looking around at the destruction and knife sword was so oblivious he walked into what he could only describe as giant Seagull poop up to his knee. Saraya recognized the droppings as fire Drake droppings. Ooh. Is ready to come around the corner punching everyone's lights out. The scarlet triad sneaks have started to attack. A scarlet triad member that you have in its seen before move. Drew a sword and tried to hit Twintalon all in like one move and missed. And that's where we are. We left off on knife sword's turn. So knife sword.
[00:03:55] Speaker B: So before we go anywhere, I just want to call out if you don't know what bandy legged means. Because I had to look it up. It's the same as bow legged.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: Oh, good to know.
[00:04:03] Speaker B: That's it. That's all I got.
[00:04:04] Speaker A: Cool. So, knife, sword. It is your turn.
[00:04:09] Speaker E: Knight to rook four.
[00:04:11] Speaker A: Uh, checkmate.
[00:04:13] Speaker C: Well, that was a quick game.
[00:04:16] Speaker B: All right.
[00:04:18] Speaker E: All right. Sorry. My thoughts were interrupted when the DM, you know, ended the game in the middle of what I was gonna do.
[00:04:25] Speaker B: I do that interrupted for a week.
[00:04:30] Speaker E: All right, so going to take one turn to move, and from right here at the corner, can I like, peek around the corner? Like as.
[00:04:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:41] Speaker E: Or is it like a second move?
[00:04:43] Speaker A: No, I'll let you do a little peek. See.
[00:04:46] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: Take. I'll let you. I'll move you forward so you can kind of see the whole situation, but you're not really that forward. Does that make sense?
[00:04:57] Speaker E: Yeah. All right. Is the dude on like a second story? Like on a roof or something?
[00:05:03] Speaker A: Yes, he is on the roof. Hmm.
[00:05:06] Speaker E: All right, so I don't know. He's there.
[00:05:07] Speaker A: You can see him. He's looking over.
[00:05:10] Speaker E: Okay, there, I'll cast it there. That'll be two turns. So that'll be my three turns.
[00:05:17] Speaker A: What is. I need to make a reflex save, right?
[00:05:22] Speaker E: Yes.
Reflex save. Critical success, creatures. An effective success moved five free towards center of failure is 15ft towards center. And a critical failure is 30ft towards center.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: All right, so let me start making love it. Two crit fails and a regular success. So the crit fails move 30ft to the middle.
[00:05:43] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:05:44] Speaker A: All right, so they move straight to the middle.
The people doing the grip heading and a success 5ft to the middle.
Saraya?
[00:05:57] Speaker D: Well, clearly some stuff has popped off. So she's gonna take a couple steps to her left so she can actually see what's going on.
[00:06:06] Speaker A: Right.
[00:06:06] Speaker D: Oh, and there's like, stuff happening right here.
So, yeah, she comes around the corner of the building just like, oh, this is happening right here as well. Hello. She's gonna raise in her bag real quick and let's have some fun with it. Acid blast. So does the 27 hit the poisoner?
[00:06:23] Speaker A: Yes, it will hit the poisoner. Exactly.
[00:06:26] Speaker D: Awesome. So I believe that is one acid damage right now and then two d, four persistent. Or I think maybe two acid damage right now. And persistent.
[00:06:37] Speaker A: It does one acid damage and persistent. And two splats.
So you have three right now and.
[00:06:47] Speaker D: Persistent, which again, because of what I do, it won't hate the money. It either hits the wall. If I choose a 50 foot pod, or splashes back onto herself off the wall.
[00:06:59] Speaker A: Well, do you want it to hit the one that is down?
[00:07:01] Speaker D: Will that wake her up?
[00:07:02] Speaker A: Yes, it would.
[00:07:03] Speaker D: No, I don't want her to rejoin the fight right now.
[00:07:05] Speaker A: All right, so you moved you through one more action.
[00:07:09] Speaker D: Let's use a frost file this time. Slow her down a little bit.
[00:07:13] Speaker A: All right.
24 will miss.
[00:07:17] Speaker D: 24 will miss her. Um, you know what? I have that spare.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: Hero point. All right, 50 50 shot of doing.
[00:07:23] Speaker D: Better because I got a team to die.
[00:07:24] Speaker A: I'm gonna take that. Hero point.
[00:07:27] Speaker D: Oh, man. Sorry.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: Nope, 24 will still miss.
[00:07:31] Speaker D: All right, well, hopefully I got her attention because I would love to see her try to poison me. I have resistance.
[00:07:37] Speaker A: Ooh.
[00:07:38] Speaker F: All right, guys.
[00:07:41] Speaker A: Ooh.
[00:07:41] Speaker F: Is hearing all of this sweet, sweet, super sexy commotion going on. She slapped herself once. She slapped herself twice and she rages.
[00:07:50] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:07:51] Speaker F: She barrels off down the corner doing a sudden charge. So I get to move twice and attack.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:07:58] Speaker F: And I'm gonna attack the first unfriendly. Icy.
[00:08:01] Speaker A: The first unfriendly that you. Well, you have two options, actually. So as you reach the end of your first movement, you see one of the unfriendly's on the ground, little cartoon pterodactyls flying over their head.
Or you see this one that is sandwiched between twin Talon and Brienne.
[00:08:22] Speaker F: We'll go with a sandwich. One.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: All right. Sandwich. We don't have a weapon out. So this would be an unarmed fist strike, right? Or handwraps of mighty blows because you.
[00:08:35] Speaker F: Have those 35 to hit.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: 35 to hit. This flat footed poisoner will hit.
[00:08:44] Speaker F: Sweet. Okay, 22.
[00:08:47] Speaker A: That's 22 points of fist and fire damage.
[00:08:51] Speaker F: Fisticuffs.
[00:08:52] Speaker D: Fisticuffs are fun.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: All right.
[00:08:54] Speaker D: Just like that. Like whose rage? Actually, I'm gonna hit myself.
[00:08:59] Speaker C: It's so good.
[00:09:01] Speaker B: I don't know if she's angry. I think she's something else.
[00:09:04] Speaker D: But they're just waiting.
I'm just waiting for like, the fight ends and like, they start doing like, the weird, like, ritual from like avengers. Like I'm getting real.
[00:09:19] Speaker C: I mean, it checks out, let's be honest.
[00:09:26] Speaker A: So that is ooh's turn. The dwarf, that twin talon did terrible, savvy things to dwarven lady goes and draws her whale.
Then tries to hit twin talon.
[00:09:45] Speaker B: 24 does not hit twin talon.
[00:09:48] Speaker A: Then a second 2nd attack against fintala.
[00:09:52] Speaker B: 29 that will hit.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: Whoo. My second attack hits. How weird. All right, so then bludgeoning. We're gonna take 18 points of bluegename damage.
[00:10:03] Speaker B: All right, the spluegenain.
[00:10:08] Speaker A: All right, so one of the other Scarlet triad members that was just gravity welled away from their graffiti. Graffiti looks up, draws out their dagger and throws it at Saraya. So throw ranges, probably at least one.
[00:10:28] Speaker D: Not two units outside of there.
[00:10:30] Speaker A: Three. It's three range increments out because it's 10ft. I thought they were throwing 20. Nope, throwing ten.
[00:10:36] Speaker B: Damn.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: So I'm gonna take a minus six to this roll. Does a 25 hit you? No. They grunt angrily, draw out their rapier and will start moving towards you.
Right then the last one will draw their rapier move 25ft and stab at the Tasani. And a 25 on the die.
[00:11:13] Speaker B: We'll miss. Hopefully it's not on the die, but total 25 will miss.
[00:11:17] Speaker A: Total of 25 will miss. Now from a distance you all hear the slappity floop flop of wings.
[00:11:26] Speaker B: Giant seagull wings, I assume.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:11:29] Speaker C: Stop it. Now has two.
[00:11:32] Speaker A: Two large flame drakes flap onto the scene.
[00:11:39] Speaker C: Two.
[00:11:40] Speaker B: All right, I see one.
[00:11:41] Speaker D: Lovely.
[00:11:42] Speaker A: Oh yeah, trust me, there's two.
Next up is the large man on the top of the structure. He will draw out a short bow, aim at his new love interest, twin Talon and shoot him. Oh no. His name is now officially Cupid 37. Does that hit you?
[00:12:12] Speaker B: Uh, yeah.
[00:12:14] Speaker A: All right.
[00:12:15] Speaker C: No, it. I mean, it does, but for reduced.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: 15 points of damage.
[00:12:20] Speaker C: Okay, minus. I forgot how to do this now.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: Oh, are you liberating him?
[00:12:26] Speaker C: Yes, liberating him.
[00:12:28] Speaker D: He's right there.
[00:12:30] Speaker C: Exactly. He's right there.
[00:12:31] Speaker A: Two plus your level. So twelve.
Oh good. So this does three points of damage as an arrow hits you in the shoulder.
[00:12:39] Speaker C: You're welcome.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: I'm still waiting for these arrow deflecting bracers to be any use whatsoever.
[00:12:44] Speaker A: And then he is going to jump down. So falling seven. You round down.
And he is proud.
[00:12:53] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:12:54] Speaker B: Yes. That's what happens. If you take any damage whatsoever, you land prone, which means if you jump off a two foot curb prone, 5ft.
[00:13:02] Speaker A: Minimum if you fall more than 5ft.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: Okay, nevermind. So a six my way is funnier, but I'll take the rules.
[00:13:09] Speaker A: Yes, yes, but twin Talon, it is your turn.
[00:13:13] Speaker B: All right, so not a super fan of anything that's happening.
This flamey Drakey thing looks like it's in. In this house. Is it in the house or is it on top of the house?
[00:13:23] Speaker A: It's on. It's on the top of the house and it's. It's flying in. So you heard it. At the end of round one, the. Its action is to fly in so it won't actually be able to attack you guys this turn. You can make attacks on it if.
[00:13:37] Speaker B: You'D like, but I'm just more curious if it's in the house or on the house.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: On the house.
[00:13:44] Speaker B: Okay, that's fine. So twin Talon is going to whistle for Taysani. Taysani is gonna take her actions first. Okay, but I mean, one action, and she's going to scoot her boot over to twin Talon.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: All right.
[00:13:59] Speaker B: When she does that, the dwarf becomes flat footed. Haha. Gang up. And then twin Talon will gang up style. Yep.
[00:14:09] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:14:11] Speaker F: All I heard was gang bang.
[00:14:12] Speaker C: Whoa.
[00:14:13] Speaker A: Hi, grandma.
[00:14:20] Speaker B: That's a 36 versus her flat footed.
[00:14:22] Speaker A: Hey, see, that is a critical.
Let's get.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: Yay. Plus two pterodactyl.
Right. Tenacious wound.
Normal damage.
[00:14:37] Speaker A: Okay, normal damage.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: Like, that crit effect is the target can't heal this damage until it is rested at least 8 hours.
All right, normal damage it is, but I'm gonna reapply my debilitating strike.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:14:50] Speaker B: So 34 damage to dwarfy McSlaver lady. Then I would like to make a second attack on her.
[00:15:01] Speaker A: I guess I'll allow it.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: Great.
26 versus her flat footed ac has to hit.
[00:15:07] Speaker A: Yep. I don't like that you can do math.
[00:15:11] Speaker B: It's rough, right?
[00:15:12] Speaker D: Since you're the only one that can't.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: So 25 plus six. That's 80 damage, Sean. Oh, and so that's 31 on that attack.
[00:15:26] Speaker A: Would you like to describe your kill?
[00:15:28] Speaker B: Uh, hell yeah.
[00:15:30] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:15:30] Speaker B: Yeah. So this. This dwarven woman, like, hit him with a flail. Not cool. So he. So Twintallon plunges his short sword forward into her chest, twists it, pulls it out, and then kicks her forward, and she collapses backwards. And for my third action, as much as I would really love to stabify this poisoner, I think I barely hit the. The dwarf on my last attack by rolling a ten. So I feel like the poisoner is just gonna. I'm just not gonna hit them. So what I'm gonna do instead is I'm going to try to know things about flame drakes. What knowledge is that?
[00:16:19] Speaker A: Arcana 1818 is not enough.
[00:16:23] Speaker B: Okay. I don't know. Looks like a dragony thing.
[00:16:27] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, next up is one of my.
One of my characters, the poisoner, who's completely surrounded.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: Oh, I guess the one tile is actually one of her allies who's asleep. But beyond that, does the.
[00:16:43] Speaker D: Does persistent damage go off at the start of a turn?
[00:16:45] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:16:46] Speaker D: So she takes two d six, since.
[00:16:48] Speaker A: Their blade is still dripping with a green, disgusting ichor.
[00:16:54] Speaker B: Is it.
[00:16:54] Speaker A: Are you going to strike? Does it not. Does it come off if I miss?
[00:16:58] Speaker D: Unless you have a feat. There's a specific feat where if you miss your blade, your weapon stays poisoned. Otherwise it's wasted.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: Yeah, typically it's wasted if you don't hit.
[00:17:09] Speaker A: That stinks. Okay, and take an interact action and.
[00:17:14] Speaker D: Try to poison it again. But she's surrounded.
[00:17:17] Speaker A: Okay, they will take an action. Interact action to poison their blade. Would anyone like a reaction?
Great.
[00:17:26] Speaker B: Boo.
[00:17:26] Speaker A: Then they're going to swing, right? I don't know who the bigger threat is at this point. Well, Brianna knocked out her friend, so she's going to swing at Brianna.
[00:17:35] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: Which is a dumb choice.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: Also, her friend knocked herself out, but that's. That's fine.
[00:17:40] Speaker C: Sh sh she ran to my knives.
[00:17:45] Speaker A: A natural one.
[00:17:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's a double critical failure.
[00:17:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I missed by.
I rolled a 20.
I critically missed by eleven. Plus the natural. So that's two crit failures.
Okay, let me read them to you, and you tell me which one you would prefer. The first one is called creeping hesitation. You are flat footed until the end of your next turn. Or you deal the damage to yourself instead of the target on the receiving end.
[00:18:19] Speaker C: Yeah, I agree. That one.
[00:18:21] Speaker D: She repoisoned her weapon.
[00:18:23] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:18:24] Speaker A: I'm on the receiving end of the poisoning.
So first off, I take 14 points of damage. Yep. And then I need to make a fortitude save.
[00:18:39] Speaker D: Just imagining that, like, my blade is coated in a deadly poison. My blade is so dangerous, I should not have licked it.
[00:18:50] Speaker A: So they are now because of a failure.
[00:18:54] Speaker B: Wow, that failed.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: Short of 30, by the way, for those who can't see with a 30.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: I am enfeebled one and stupefied. One.
And for my last action, I'm angrily going to stab at this big green lady. Does a 30 hit you?
[00:19:22] Speaker F: It do.
[00:19:23] Speaker A: Okay, good.
Take 13 points of damage.
[00:19:29] Speaker B: Hey, wait a minute.
[00:19:31] Speaker A: Brianna. So. Oh, by the way, they took five points of poison and then they rolled a 16 on their save.
Correct. Now it is Brianna's turn.
[00:19:42] Speaker C: Brianna would try and keep both of their attention on her as best she can so she will attack the one directly in front of. Front of her that is flanking with twin talon. Get her, get her, get her with her scimitar. How's a 34 to hit?
[00:20:02] Speaker A: That is a hit. That is a regular hit.
[00:20:04] Speaker C: 17 points of damage.
[00:20:07] Speaker A: All right, still standing. It looks very woozy.
[00:20:10] Speaker C: Good, good, good, good. I know it's probably smarter to focus fire on one character at a time. But I feel the need to keep people's attention as one of the party tanks. So she's gonna attack the person to her side next.
[00:20:31] Speaker A: Remember, that one is unconscious.
[00:20:33] Speaker C: Okay, never mind. Then she will continue focusing fire.
[00:20:36] Speaker A: Yeah, that one will wake up on its turn.
[00:20:39] Speaker C: I'm guessing a 19 will not hit.
[00:20:41] Speaker A: A 19 will not hit. But you do have a hero point.
[00:20:45] Speaker C: Yeah, why not? Take it.
[00:20:46] Speaker A: All right. Taking it away. Take it away, take it away, take it away.
[00:20:51] Speaker C: That's a 35.
[00:20:53] Speaker A: That's a critical hit. Okay, draw your card.
[00:20:56] Speaker C: My card. Wide open. The target is flat footed until the end of its next turn. Isn't it already flat footed?
[00:21:04] Speaker A: It's flat footed to you and twin talon, but now it's flat footed to ooh as well.
[00:21:10] Speaker C: Sounds good. Well, there you go.
[00:21:11] Speaker B: And double damage, right?
[00:21:13] Speaker A: Yep. 30 points of damage.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: And for my last action, I will raise my shield and then kinda as a flavor action, as if I hope I will kind of bang my scimitar on the outside of it in a almost dinner bell sounding call. Come and get it.
[00:21:35] Speaker A: All right, next, the flame Drake flaps its wings and appears.
[00:21:42] Speaker C: Oh, boy.
[00:21:43] Speaker B: Boom, boom.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: There. There it is. The scarlet triad sneak who was unconscious wakes up and goes, what just hit me? Ugh. You.
[00:21:58] Speaker C: You did. That was your fault.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: So wake up. So it's gonna get up for an.
[00:22:04] Speaker B: Action which would provoke an attack of opportunity if someone were to take it.
[00:22:08] Speaker C: Then I'll do that. I will smag her back down and be like, nope, you're not going anywhere.
[00:22:12] Speaker B: Wake up.
[00:22:13] Speaker E: Back up.
[00:22:14] Speaker C: Guessing a 30 might hit.
[00:22:17] Speaker A: 30 will hit for sure. For sure.
[00:22:20] Speaker C: Why do you sound so disappointed, Shawn?
[00:22:22] Speaker A: Cause I wanted to have fun, too.
[00:22:24] Speaker D: Cool.
[00:22:25] Speaker C: Not today. How's 21 points of damage?
[00:22:28] Speaker A: I mean, it's fine, I guess.
[00:22:30] Speaker C: All right, well, continue your turn then.
[00:22:32] Speaker A: All right, so it stands up, finally realizes it dropped its rapier, reaches down, picks up its rapier, and finally tries to stab Brianna. Does a 19 hit you?
[00:22:43] Speaker C: I believe a 19 is a critical miss, Sean.
[00:22:48] Speaker A: Broken weapon. Your weapon's current hit points are reduced to its broken threshold.
All right, so this rapier gets, like, thrusted at you in anger and frustration, and it just hits your shield, and you see the rapier bend and bend and bend and then snap.
[00:23:08] Speaker C: Yeah, you can't legally blonde it, my dear.
[00:23:11] Speaker D: Sorry.
[00:23:11] Speaker B: Bend. Snap. Nice. Nice reference.
[00:23:13] Speaker D: That's how it works.
[00:23:14] Speaker C: Thank you. Thank you.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: This blut boar is going to attack Tisani again. Sunny is flanked by the poisoner and the blood boar, so their ac is down.
Blood. Bore smells blood. It's already bitten once.
Does. Ooh.
[00:23:36] Speaker B: A 36 with the flat footed. It's actually a crit.
[00:23:40] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:23:41] Speaker B: Because normally it's 28, but 30 points of damage. Wolf.
[00:23:49] Speaker A: Monte Sasani. Again, this boar is going to keep going. Does a 24 hit.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: It is a miss.
[00:23:56] Speaker A: And a one more bite. A 22 miss. All right, so one really big hit and then miss miss. Knife, sword.
[00:24:07] Speaker E: All right, I can move. It's next to Saraya. And then I'm going to. A quick question.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:24:13] Speaker E: Have we rested between the battle on.
[00:24:15] Speaker B: The ship and here not to get your spells back?
[00:24:18] Speaker E: Not enough to get my spells back.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: We rested in that we got our hit points back. But you have to go a full night's rest to get your spells back.
[00:24:25] Speaker E: Okay, that's what I needed to know. Yep.
[00:24:27] Speaker A: No, you have not recovered your spell.
[00:24:29] Speaker E: Okay, then I'm going to go stabby.
[00:24:33] Speaker A: Stabby on this guy on the scarlet triad whose weapon just broke.
[00:24:38] Speaker E: Yeah, I mean, that seems like the brave course of action.
[00:24:41] Speaker C: Yep, absolutely.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: Fair enough.
[00:24:43] Speaker E: Just give me a second. I don't usually melee. It's taking me a minute to find the right.
[00:24:46] Speaker A: Oh, that's fine, that's fine.
[00:24:48] Speaker E: Does a 27 hit?
[00:24:49] Speaker A: A 27 will hit. And they're flat footed because you and, ooh, are flanking.
[00:24:56] Speaker C: Goodness, it really is a daisy chain of flanking.
[00:25:00] Speaker A: It really is. All right, roll your damage. All right, so seven points of damage.
[00:25:06] Speaker E: And, um, I'll stabby stabby again.
[00:25:09] Speaker A: Uh, well, hang on. Before you stabby stabby again.
[00:25:12] Speaker E: Mm hmm.
[00:25:14] Speaker A: I need you to describe your kill.
[00:25:18] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:25:19] Speaker B: Just sneak it in there.
[00:25:21] Speaker E: I run up there, and in the tradition of gomblet goblin combat, I yell, let's see, where did I put it?
Knock, knock.
[00:25:30] Speaker D: Oh.
[00:25:31] Speaker E: Pach padditive. And I stab him in the shin. And as I do that, they go off balance and I let go of my dagger. And the mechanical force of them falling over my dagger falls out of their shin and lands in their heart.
[00:25:49] Speaker B: Is that one of those things where they hit the ground with, like, force and it flips up in the air, like, comically plunges into their chest?
[00:25:54] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Knife, sword, fresh from your kill. What is your third action?
[00:26:01] Speaker E: Oh, well, then I'll just, um. What do I got left here? I will magic missile. The next prison.
[00:26:07] Speaker A: The poisoner.
[00:26:09] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: And what level magic missile would this be?
[00:26:13] Speaker E: We're gonna do a level three magic missile, one action.
[00:26:15] Speaker A: All right.
[00:26:16] Speaker E: Four plus two damage.
[00:26:18] Speaker A: Seven zap points of damage.
Luckily, that doesn't kill them. Soraya, I am going to use one.
[00:26:26] Speaker D: Of my smoke bombs. Oh, yes, I am going to check it right in the middle of three. So like the guy that jumped down from the ceiling.
[00:26:37] Speaker A: Okay, kind of like southwest of where you are.
[00:26:40] Speaker D: Yeah, a little southwest of Mariame. Okay, so they all have to make a DC 28 port safe. Alright, they take two d, six poison damage. And they all have to make DC.
[00:26:51] Speaker A: Okay, so they take two d, six poison. So roll your damage and I'll start making fort saves. All right, how much damage it is?
[00:26:58] Speaker D: Ten poison damage.
[00:27:00] Speaker A: Ten poison damage. All right, and what was the DC to save?
[00:27:06] Speaker D: 28.
[00:27:07] Speaker A: So I have a critical failure. I have a regular failure. And I have two regular failures and a critical failure.
[00:27:17] Speaker D: So they're second one. I think the critical failure is second two.
[00:27:21] Speaker A: Okay, second two.
And everyone else is sickened. One.
[00:27:27] Speaker D: They're in a cloud of noxious blue purples.
[00:27:30] Speaker A: All right, that was one action.
[00:27:33] Speaker D: Indeed it was. This war is giving us trouble, so.
[00:27:39] Speaker B: It'S giving us the stink eye.
[00:27:40] Speaker A: Given.
Give it to Sani to stink high.
[00:27:48] Speaker D: So we're gonna hit it with an alchemist fire.
[00:27:54] Speaker A: You said that so confidently.
[00:27:58] Speaker D: 30 hit the boar.
[00:28:00] Speaker A: It does hit the boar.
[00:28:03] Speaker D: Two D, eight, two persistent and two splash.
[00:28:06] Speaker A: Two persistent fire. Two v eight and splash.
How much is the two v eight for? Eight points of damage on z bor.
[00:28:19] Speaker D: So, yeah, so eight points of damage. Two persistent, two splash. I just love the idea. Sorry, I just like yanking things off for vandalier. Just chucking them.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: Well, you have one more action, so you can chuck some more if you'd like.
[00:28:31] Speaker D: I do. I'm actually also gonna try to recall some knowledge about fire drakes, though, because I feel like we need to get on that.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: Alright, Arcana.
[00:28:43] Speaker D: 25.
[00:28:45] Speaker A: That is enough to know two things about flame drakes. First off, flame drakes are chaotic, evil, large dragon fires pipes, the distant kin of red dragons. Flame drakes thankfully lack the intelligence and ambition of their larger cousins, but are no less territorial or violent. Flame drakes dwell near volcanoes and magma, but it is not unheard of of one to drift into nearby areas like forests or wooded hills. Their scales are usually some shade of red, occasionally fading to smoky blacks and grays along the edges of their wings and the tips of their tails. All right, that's it. What would you like to know about them?
[00:29:29] Speaker D: Weaknesses and immunities.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: Immunities, too. Ready for the shocker? Fire, paralyzed and unconsciousness.
[00:29:37] Speaker E: I'm sorry, did you say fire? Hair loss?
[00:29:40] Speaker A: Yes.
They're scaled so they don't have hair, but also paralysis.
[00:29:46] Speaker D: So, yeah, your nair spell. Sorry, he's not going to do much here.
[00:29:52] Speaker A: They are weak to cold for ten points. And one more question.
[00:29:57] Speaker D: Special attacks.
[00:29:58] Speaker A: Special attacks. Well, first off, they get an attack of opportunity.
[00:30:02] Speaker D: Good to know.
[00:30:03] Speaker A: They have draconic frenzy. For two actions, the flame Drake makes two fang strikes and one tail strike in any order. All count against multiple attack penalties. 2nd, 2nd special attack is fireball breathe. It is a two action ability. It is arcane evocation and fire.
[00:30:21] Speaker D: I didn't know they could just breathe alcohol on us.
[00:30:24] Speaker A: The flame Drake expels a ball of flame to the range of 180ft that explodes in a 20 foot burst. Creatures in the burst take 66. Fire damage. DC 22 basic reflex. Save flame Drake can't use fireball breath again for one d six rounds. And lastly, they have a one action move ability called speed surge. It is a move action. The fire Drake moves up to twice its speed. It can do this three times per day.
[00:30:53] Speaker D: Well, I'm gonna share and yell out to everybody to try.
Don't use fire on the Drake things. Use cold. And if you see them, take a deep breath in. Run.
[00:31:04] Speaker C: Okay, thank you.
[00:31:06] Speaker F: All right. I am very excited about all this death and rampaging that's been going on. People are dying. Things are dying. It's great. And I'm asking, does anyone want to share in my rage? Come on, let me slap a bitch.
[00:31:20] Speaker B: Can you do that?
[00:31:22] Speaker F: I can share my rage.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: What does it do?
[00:31:24] Speaker F: So share rage. You stoke an ally's fury while you're raging. One willing creature within 30ft gains the effects of the rage action, except it can still use concentrate actions.
[00:31:35] Speaker B: That's awesome.
[00:31:36] Speaker D: What are the effects of a rage action?
[00:31:38] Speaker B: I think you get a bonus of damage.
[00:31:40] Speaker F: So raging, you tap into your inner fury and begin raging. You gain a number of temporary hit points equal to your level, plus your constitution modifier. This frenzy lasts for 1 minute until there are no enemies that you can perceive or until you fall unconscious, whichever comes first. You can't voluntarily stop raging. While you are raging, you deal two additional damage on melee strikes. This additional damage is halved if your weapon or unarmed attack is agile. You take a negative one penalty to AC. You can't use actions with the concentrate trait, which you can unless they also have the rage trait you can seek while raging. After you stop raging, you lose any remaining temporary hit points from rage and you can't rage again for 1 minute.
[00:32:27] Speaker D: I mean, I don't do a heck of a lot of damage, but I.
[00:32:31] Speaker B: Have plus one hand wraps which are agile.
[00:32:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:34] Speaker D: Are they agile?
[00:32:35] Speaker B: Yeah. I think Brianna's the only one that doesn't use an agile weapon.
[00:32:38] Speaker A: Are you gonna slap Brianna to make her rage?
[00:32:42] Speaker F: Brianna, do you want to be slapped?
[00:32:44] Speaker C: I don't know how I feel about this, but if you feel like it'll help, certainly.
[00:32:50] Speaker F: I'm gonna go slap a bitch, y'all.
[00:32:52] Speaker D: So ready?
[00:32:53] Speaker F: So I.
I ran to Brianna. I slapped her once. I suffered twice. So let's go, girl. And then I attack the person. The. What is it? Scarlet triad poisoner that's directly in front of her.
[00:33:06] Speaker A: Brianna, you are now raging with your 14 temporary hit points.
[00:33:12] Speaker B: Temporary hit points are nice. And even if you have an agile weapon, it's one extra damage. It's not nothing.
[00:33:16] Speaker D: Yeah, it's not nothing.
[00:33:18] Speaker F: So I am gonna give a good punch.
[00:33:20] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:33:21] Speaker B: I'm actually curious because the.
Probably not, but her type of rage is different. Like, every barbarian has a flavor of rage. Yeah, like, the tone is like dragon or giant or whatever. And depending on what type of rage you get, like, it modifies the rage action.
[00:33:41] Speaker F: I didn't see anything like that.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: Yeah. So what is. What type of barbarian are you? Do you know? What do you know? Like, are you animal or dragon or giant?
[00:33:51] Speaker A: Fury instinct.
[00:33:52] Speaker B: Fury instinct. That's what it's called. I was just curious which. Which instinct she was.
[00:33:57] Speaker A: Basically, it comes from a deep well of personal rage or sexual frustration. Who knows? With. Ooh.
I mean, all I know is she critically punched this scarlet triad member. So go ahead and draw your crit hit card.
[00:34:14] Speaker F: It's usually out of sexual frustration with. Be real. All right. Bludgeoning crit effect. It's called. Two for one deal. Normal damage to one target adjacent to the original target.
[00:34:24] Speaker A: So you deal double damage to the triad poisoner, but there is no one adjacent because knife sword stole your kill.
[00:34:35] Speaker F: It's all right. I'll just get him back later. All right. And I've got one more action.
[00:34:40] Speaker A: How much damage did you do?
[00:34:42] Speaker F: 36.
[00:34:43] Speaker A: Would you like to describe how you kill this poor, poor Scarlet triad poisoner?
[00:34:50] Speaker F: So I slap Brianna. One, two. And I turn to the sky, and I take his head and I shove it into my knee.
[00:34:59] Speaker A: You hear a wet crack as your knee not only breaks his nose, but continues through and kind of gets his under orbital bones, and he just collapses in pain and death.
[00:35:12] Speaker F: That sounds right.
[00:35:13] Speaker A: You have one more action?
[00:35:14] Speaker F: Yeah, why not? I'm gonna move between a Scarlet triad sneak and the boar.
[00:35:20] Speaker A: All right, next is a Scarlet triad sneak. Christine, this grid that you put up with a square, how long does that last three rounds. Three rounds, love it. All right, so the Scarlet triad sneak, that is, well, ooh. Just moved next to them, so they're going to attempt to strike out at. Ooh, poor. Ooh.
[00:35:39] Speaker F: It's all right, that's what I'm here for.
[00:35:41] Speaker C: Get em. Ooh.
[00:35:42] Speaker A: The third rapier does a. Oh, my God. An 18 hit you.
[00:35:47] Speaker F: No.
[00:35:48] Speaker A: Does it critically miss you? Does it miss you by ten or more?
[00:35:51] Speaker F: No.
[00:35:52] Speaker A: Then another attack at, ooh, 21 hit you.
[00:35:55] Speaker F: It does not.
[00:35:56] Speaker D: What's your ac? Cause mine is at 28.
[00:35:59] Speaker F: 27.
[00:36:00] Speaker B: Okay, she's raging, so she's got minus one at least.
[00:36:02] Speaker D: Well, that's what I was.
[00:36:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I figured one more attack, 20 will miss. So three swings, three misses and she.
[00:36:14] Speaker D: Has her turn in the cloud. She takes one d six poison and has to make another fortitude save.
[00:36:18] Speaker A: One d six. All right, roll me one d six and I will give you a 4015.
[00:36:24] Speaker D: That is a crit fail. So her second value goes up by two.
[00:36:28] Speaker A: Okay, they're just vomiting. So she takes a four points of damage. Now, the other Scarlet triad sneak is going to step forward towards oo and attack. Oo there. Rapier 21 will miss and does a twelve miss. And how much a crit miss? Oh, jeez. Funny bone.
You drop one item you are holding so that rapier that they have while they start to puke, they drop the rapier, Christine. They end their turn in the cloud.
[00:37:03] Speaker D: Give me another fort save.
[00:37:04] Speaker A: Oh. 26, still a failure.
[00:37:07] Speaker D: So their second value goes up by one and they take six more poison damage.
[00:37:10] Speaker A: Great, love it. All right, so flame Drake is going to fly in to here and that's all it can do. It is 30ft. Both Drakes are about 30ft in the air. Just so everyone knows, next up is a dead person. The obvious leader of this group who just jumped down, stands up from prone. No, they will leave their bow that they dropped on the ground. They will move 15 and they will draw a club, at which point you hear him say, ah, it seems that you are all going to be a challenge. I haven't had this much fun since.
[00:37:49] Speaker F: I've left Kentargo, Kentucky.
[00:37:52] Speaker C: Close enough.
[00:37:53] Speaker A: You're not. Yeah, you're not that far off.
Twin channel, it's your turn.
[00:37:59] Speaker B: All right, so first things first, twin Talon is going to throw a little battle medicine on Tysoni.
[00:38:05] Speaker A: All right, DC 15, unless you're going for higher. If you're higher than I am not. Okay.
[00:38:10] Speaker B: I critically succeed.
[00:38:11] Speaker A: That's four d eight healing.
[00:38:13] Speaker B: Not too bad. No money healing for tisani.
[00:38:16] Speaker A: 6617. Not bad at all.
[00:38:19] Speaker B: Then Twintown is going to move. Twintown is going to move side to side. So he is facing the blood bore.
[00:38:25] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:38:25] Speaker B: Then he is going to attack said blood borer.
[00:38:29] Speaker A: All right.
[00:38:30] Speaker B: All right, here we go. Strickety strike. Flat footed blood bore natural 19, because we have 39 to hit.
[00:38:36] Speaker A: Um, hang on. I have to do some math real quick. Okay, so that's just a single critical.
[00:38:43] Speaker B: Okay, that's perfect. Strike. Triple damage.
[00:38:45] Speaker A: Oh, geez. All right, roll your triple damage.
[00:38:50] Speaker C: Aw, so proud.
[00:38:51] Speaker D: That's not so grumpy about it.
[00:38:52] Speaker B: So that's 75 damage.
[00:38:54] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:38:55] Speaker B: Is it still alive?
[00:38:56] Speaker A: It is still alive.
[00:38:57] Speaker B: Then I'm going to tag it with debilitating strike so that next time I hit it, if it's still alive when it gets to my turn, I will do an additional two d six damage to it, actually. How bad off does it look?
[00:39:09] Speaker A: It's. It's definitely. It's gushing blood, like, you nearly lopped its head off, but it's. It's still there. It's, like, on its last.
[00:39:17] Speaker B: Okay, so instead, I'm actually gonna make it flat footed to everybody.
[00:39:20] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:39:20] Speaker B: Actually, no, I do that anyway. Cause this is a crit effect with a sword, so it's already flat footed to everybody. Also, it gets the debilitating strike, and then Taesani is going to take her turn, maybe get a little pterodactyl revenge, as the kids call it.
[00:39:32] Speaker A: As the kids call it what they.
[00:39:33] Speaker B: Say, a 30 to hit.
[00:39:35] Speaker A: That will hit.
[00:39:36] Speaker B: All right, that is eleven beak damage.
[00:39:39] Speaker A: All right, it's still up.
[00:39:42] Speaker B: All right, that's my turn.
[00:39:44] Speaker A: Okay, Brianna.
[00:39:46] Speaker C: So she has dead people around her. She's just been slapped across the face.
And. And, yeah, she's. She's feeling the. The something that, uh.
[00:39:59] Speaker A: There's a burning fire inside you that has been litanous. Is it passion? Is it rage? We don't know.
[00:40:06] Speaker F: A little bit of both.
[00:40:07] Speaker C: It's fine.
[00:40:09] Speaker F: It's herpes. Just kidding.
[00:40:11] Speaker C: I was gonna say.
[00:40:15] Speaker D: Feel like I'm.
[00:40:15] Speaker C: Gonna need a doctor after this.
[00:40:17] Speaker F: Is that what that burning was?
[00:40:20] Speaker C: Oh, God.
Sabriana is going to leap past the bodies and be complete trouble. And since Dasani seems to be needing to be patched up and move in front of her to kind of be surrounded by these three creatures. And since the blood boar seems to be the main perp here, she will attack the boar with a 32.
[00:40:51] Speaker A: That is a critical hit.
[00:40:52] Speaker C: Hell, yeah. Bewildering display. The target is flat footed until the end of its next turn.
[00:41:00] Speaker A: Okay, so you see the boar take all of this damage and it kind of like slumps to the ground for a second and then gets up, has ferocity or something.
[00:41:15] Speaker B: Yeah, ferocity. I think you're right.
[00:41:17] Speaker A: You have one more action.
[00:41:18] Speaker C: Did it take 34?
[00:41:20] Speaker A: Oh, it did.
[00:41:20] Speaker C: Points of damage.
[00:41:21] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:41:22] Speaker C: Okay, I guess I shall continue focusing fire for now. Even though the boss is also kind of like wolf whistling still or something. And this Drake's in my face. But, uh, whatever.
[00:41:35] Speaker A: The Drake is 30ft in the air.
[00:41:37] Speaker C: Oh, same difference. How's a 33?
[00:41:39] Speaker A: That's another crit.
[00:41:41] Speaker C: Take 42 points of damage. Severed spine. The target must succeed at a fortitude save or be paralyzed until he.
[00:41:51] Speaker A: Well, it doesn't have to do that because it's dead.
[00:41:54] Speaker C: As her third action, Briana will turn to the one eyed winker and raise her shield and smile. Actually, no, she's still raging. Right. I don't think she would be making smart decisions at this point.
[00:42:06] Speaker A: Well, so you moved, you killed it, and then you killed it again. So that's it. So you can turn and say something witty if you'd like, or just scream.
[00:42:14] Speaker C: I feel like she would maybe flavor bang her shield again, but not raise it because I can't. I'll snarl. Then.
[00:42:21] Speaker A: Let's get a good snarl.
[00:42:22] Speaker C: No.
[00:42:25] Speaker A: All right.
[00:42:25] Speaker B: I'm not a team player and I refuse.
[00:42:29] Speaker A: It is the flame Drake's turn. Oh, thank you. I appreciate everything you guys have done for this many episodes, but not more than fireball formation.
[00:42:43] Speaker B: Yeah, we are kind of bunched up.
[00:42:44] Speaker C: You're welcome.
[00:42:45] Speaker B: Well, honestly, thinking about this, like, the flame Drake's supposed to be like the stupid cousin of the Red Dragon. I think this is a better breath weapon. It can hit you at 180ft with essentially a 20 foot radius fireball.
[00:42:57] Speaker A: It's less damage, which is, I guess, why it's.
[00:43:00] Speaker B: Yeah, but it can just do it from 180ft away infinite times. Not like it's three times a day or something.
[00:43:05] Speaker A: Well, it has to recharge every one D six instead of one deep core.
[00:43:10] Speaker B: I still think it's better.
[00:43:11] Speaker A: We're gonna see how much better it is as the flame Drake throws a breath weapon and it lands right on Saraya's Square. I'm gonna need the entire cast to make a reflex save next week.
[00:43:32] Speaker C: Come on now.
[00:43:35] Speaker B: It's fine. We're gonna be fine. We all have evasion, right?
[00:43:39] Speaker A: Thank you for listening to the crack die podcast. Background sound effects provided by sirenscape. Because Epic Games deserve Epic music, please visit
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